My sister and niece are intellectual delayed… I’ve saved them plenty of times from men that have tried to move in with them or to take advantage of them. She’s been getting on these dating apps and lives in another county and I can monitor her like I used to. Recently, I found out her plans to marry and that she’s been sending this person money for the “wedding”. My way of thinking is that its putting them both I’m severe danger. She’s 50 and my niece is 18 with the mind set of an 8yr old. Virgin, which would bring big money on the auction block Again, I’ve been dealing and blocking this behavior for YEARS! She doesn’t know I know this time and am awaiting for info from the situation before I either take her to court for my niece or need bond money.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sister is trying to hide getting married from me
Run his name, find out if he has issues with drugs or a history of using people… I gotta go full blown FBI mode sometimes to protect one of my friends, because a lot of guys used her for money and I really hate seeing her upset
Petition the court that they both need a state appointed guardian - they will manage and monitor the money
Find out the laws in your state regarding becoming guardian for someone that is intellectually delaying.
Sadly, nothing you can do is going to save them, unless you’re otherwise they’re guarantors. You unfortunately have to let them fall and learn, even if they don’t. I hate scam artists. They gotta special place in hell.
Not much you can do if you don’t even live in the same country as either of them
Also weird you would focus on the niece being a virgin and some imaginary auction block
Petition a court that they need guardianship and a power of attorney so you can monitor her money to stop her giving it away then see what you can find on this man and report him. I doubt you’ll get any back but you never know
I can see why your sister has nothing to do with you… their both adults
Sounds like a scammer. We get alot of them here in Aus trying to pretend love for some and getting them to send money for operations or whatever. Until they bleed you dry.
I am in Australia
And here we have a government department that looks after these people with special needs
Is it the same in your country
I’m sure she’s communicating with a scammer who will never show up but still, you need to put a stop to it.
I would talk to Adult Protective Services in their county. Maybe they can investigate and evaluate the situation. They may get your sister and niece into a program and get them a case manager who can set them up with a guardian and power of attorney, maybe you, so that they can’t get taken in by these schemes.
Why all this made to be nothing more than an internet scam and he is taking her for her money because he realizes she isn’t all there. It’s wonderful that you recognize the danger in this situation because a lot of people would not. I would say not to wait and go ahead and file your court papers now. Protect your niece!
Take the niece and let the 50 yr old learn the hard way… she’s a child at mind so she’s gonna keep doing it.
There’s nothing you can do. Move on with your life.
It’s funny that so many on here think they know how trafficking works. So many arguing over the auction block… unless you have been trafficked, proudly support the agencies that help rescue people from trafficking, or are a trafficker yourself…
Stop arguing over stuff… esp when it doesn’t have to do with her question.
I’m glad she is looking out for her niece. Sadly the mom is probably getting scammed. Glad they have someone that looks out for them!
As long as it’s legal and she accepts o dont think you can do anything. If she can live by herself I dont see a issue but if she needs someone to care for her to me that’s like a child.
Petition with the courts to be their state appointed guardian.
Oh hell no immediately contact the authorities…or your local S R S, THEY CAN HELP YOU WIYHOUT THEM KNOWING!!!
From SW perspective you may want to cal adult protective services to at least get a case on file. Unfortunately if she’s not in immediate danger to herself or others they most likely won’t do much except file it. But keep calling keep adding information you may have enough for guardianship in the near future. Don’t give up. Our system is a little broken in this regards and laws are different from state to state but don’t give up! Try and keep her safe as possible. Stay strong
You will need proof to their mental health. With that proof, you can get control of their finances and custody of your niece, if you can prove mother unfit to raise child.
Ask for conservatorship
There’s a documentary about a man that scammed multiple women out of millions of dollars and pretending to love them hes using different names and has travel the world with the money
What state do you live in? Someone else mentioned it, but I’d absolutely contact Adult Protective Services. Good luck
I would call APS (Adult Protective Services) and CPS (Child Protective Services) as soon as possible. If your sister is developmentally delayed she needs a guardian ASAP. If you can go to your local legal aide office you may be able to get help from an attorney at a majorly reduced price. Do what ever you can to protect them as they are both quite vulnerable. Good luck!
Sounds like this family member is concerned with Financial Abuse which happens to be prevalent in most cases of Domestic Abuse and Interpersonal Relationship Violence. So he’s got that part right.
The best thing would be to get more family members to sit down with you and express your concerns. It’s possible that they may have seen some other red flags and have their own concerns about the situation. If more than one person thinks someone should intervene, then find a way to do so.
Do what you have to do Sis! Love & care for your family
Maybe stop infantilising her and get to know this person instead of immediately assuming she’s unable to make any decisions or that she’s going to offer her kid up to a child abuser! You sound way too controlling - you have concerns for the child then talk to family that live nearby or the authorities don’t just think you can take her child! FML
Time to think about guardianship. Doesn’t have to be you but could be the state as an option. These are the most vulnerable and most exploited group. I’ve worked with our special community for 30 years. Seen things I wish I didn’t have see but don’t ignore it as it won’t go away. Consider getting Adult Protective Services involved. The can at least guide you in the right direction.
18 is a legal adult, going to be tough. You will have to get an attorney FAST
Sounds like a scammer honestly. People tell you something so you send them money. I’d call APS and see if they can help. I’m sorry
Or maybe it’s your sister and her daughter’s business. Maybe they moved to another country cause you are a controller.
I think what it’s boiling down to for OP is the fact of consent. She’s 18 with special needs and the mind of an 8 year old. She may be 18, but with the mind of an 8 year old does she really understand what’s going on with what her mom is doing and if she actually understands consent? People are really skipping over that fact right there and going with “She’s 18 you can’t do anything.” Ands that’s SCARY how many people are saying that. I would call APS and try to get my niece.
This sounds so scary… who can you contact?? Also, how can you get control of the bank account before its all gone ??
So they are not mentally competent enough to make their own decisions as to where you feel the need to call protective services ect but yet they live out of the country…you didnt try to stop them then why…
Sounds like you need to mind your business!
I am gng to piss some people off but just because someone has an intellectual disability does not mean they do not retain their own rights. I understand the concern and wanting to protect people We love but sometimes we have to let them live their life.
Scammed! She’s sending him money???
Maybe let it happen and her fall on her face. If you keep stopping her everytime how is she going to learn?
If you don’t live in the same county, aren’t responsible for either of their finances and/or day to day care, and they’ve been living on their own for an extended period of time without having to be under a conservatorship of any kind , it’s highly unlikely the court would grant a petition wherein you request to be named their guardian. They’ll probably just see it as you wanting to stop the marriage. Given the circumstances, it makes total sense why you’d want to do just that. However, if they’ve been living on their own, ultimately, it’s their life and the marriage would be her choice .
My ex tried those overseas dating sites. Found out the hard way that they’re mostly scammers or looking for a green card. Maybe she needs to learn the hard way.
Sounds like a scam. She may have already lost the money she’s sent. I’d intervene and I’m a person who is avid about minding my own business. She’s family, help her but be gentle, I’m sure your sister just desperately wants to be loved with a ‘normal’ life.
Some of yall are real life weird . GIRL GET YO NIECE . Shes mentally a child. You never know what sick mf could pry on her and her mom ! But for the sake of the girl id take it to counrt
If parent and child are unable to make good decisions try to get legal custody for decision making
She’s being scammed! If she’s mentally delayed, she should have a power of attorney to monitor her! This guy is having her send money & he’s not going to marry her! Why is nobody watching over her if she’s mentally delayed?
She is competent enough to live without you, I think she is competent to make these decisions. Her life her choice. If she is so was incompetent you would be her legal guardian. So therefore again leave her alone!
Can you get conservatorship?
Are there no county agencies in her area to help with this?
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It’s their life to live. I would hide my marriage from you too.
Unfortunately they have every right to do what they want as far as the law is concerned. If you want that to change you will have to go to court to have that legal responsibility.
Lot of very naive folks on here who don’t understand risks, exploitation and abuse.
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