My sister said I was not in a 'real relationship' because we do not share a bank account...thoughts?

Opinions on joint bank accounts vs separate accountsI was talking to my sister and she was acting as if me and my boyfriend don’t have a real relationship because we don’t have a joint bank account. She said “so what are y’all like roommates?” She’s been with the same person since she was 18 so i told her she doesn’t know what it’s like to have a failed relationship. My ex husband took all the money and closed our joint account when we were getting a divorce. He also took my car keys and house keys and left me with nothing. This is why I believe in splitting the bills but not keeping money together.

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Always have separate money. Idc if you’ve been with the same person 20 years. ALWAYS have a separate account. Even if you put everything into one household account. That doesn’t make your relationship invalid. It makes you financially smart.

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Tell her that your glad she doesnt know how that feels like and that you gained strength from it. It just means that you have more freedom with $$ than she will ever have.

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Tell sis to mind her own business

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Married 40+ years. Separate accounts.

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Totally agree with you I have been married going on 55 years. I have never shared bank accounts. He has his and I have mine.

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Tell her that y’all aren’t real sisters because she doesn’t share half her household income. :joy:

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You are not wrong. Keep separate accounts. Your sister needs to mind her own business.

What works for some, doesn’t work for all. Until she’s paying those bills for you, it’s none of her business how either of you manage your finances!

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Your ex sounds like he was a narcissist to take your car keys and house keys. I don’t blame you for wanting your own bank account. Your better off without him and your not the failure in your ex husband relationship he is look how mean he got. I hope this one your with is the one for you so you don’t have to go through more heartbreak. As long as he treats you right and your happy that’s all your sister should be concerned about not your bank info.

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Been with my hubby 30 plus years. We do share a bank acct bc he doesn’t want to deal with all the bills and such. My opinion is u gotta do what’s right for u and if that’s not doing same acct so be it

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We both have our own accounts and just share the bills. Much better that way I find. Gives some independence in the relationship.

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It’s been 20 years with my man and I still have my own accounts. I hold my own. We don’t need to share an account as long as you trust the other person.

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My husband and I have been married 32 years and have separate checking accounts. My parents got divorced when I was in high school so I get it. My husband and I split the bills and we know what is in each others accounts but I like having my own money and he has his. We don’t hide things from each other

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My now husband and I didn’t share a bank account till after we got married but we were diff in a real committed relationship

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Tell her to mind her own business…as long as your single keep your finances separate…and quit telling her your business.

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Married over 23 years, we separated for three and I 100% beleive its because we shared accounts. Back together for over 10 and never share and happier than ever

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It’s not your sister’s relationship. Tell her to mind her own business. You do what you and your SO are comfortable with not what anyone else dictates. I’d be fun shy too!

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Everyone is different some people do your money is my money and my money is your money and some rather have their own money to themselves it’s what works for each person or couple especially understandable to not share if you’ve been financially abused or out of a abusive or controlling relationship or family. But your sister doesn’t get to decide how you bank or if your in a relationship with your partner only you two can decide that. And yes you are in a real relationship with them if you say you are. Your sister just being a snobby bully .

Ive had a joint account in a relationship where we both payed in and it was for bills but i also had my own would never trust anyone with all my money

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I’ve had people tell me this but then I’ve also had the same people freaking out to me when it doesn’t work out and they have no money of there own me and my s/o have been together 13 years and don’t share accounts whatever works best for u and ur partner

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I’ve been with the same man for 15 yrs. We do not share a bank account. We both have access to each other’s. But we do not share one. Personal preference.

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Don’t care what others thing, do what’s best for you.

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I’ve been married for 16 years and we have separate accounts.

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I would never share a bank account unless it was strictly for bills. Never shared an account with my ex who I was with almost 20 years. We’d use each other’s bank cards when needed but that’s it.

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I’m married and we don’t even have a joint account. It’s not a necessity it’s a preference

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First off, you’d have to be a complete idiot to share an account with someone that you haven’t been in a deeply committed relationship for quite a few years. Secondly, plenty of married couple don’t share an account. You don’t have to have one account just to be “official”. I would never want to share an account with someone. Husband or not.

Been with my hubby 8 years never had a joint bank account never will…

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Just do you and don’t worry what other’s say.

I always kept my money separate.

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Why would you even care what your sister gotta say :wink::unamused:

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Me and my husband have been together 10 years and have never shared a bank account. His money is mine and mine is his but we have our own accounts.

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Tell your sister my own business

I’d ask her what bill she would like to pay being she wants to be all up in your business…My SO and I,have separate accounts.However,once we get our own business up and going,we will still have our own account but,will have a joint account just for the business.

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Oh fuck her. I’m married and we still have separate accounts. Why? Because that worse for us.

Your sister seriously needs to mind her business and worry about who she shares a bank account with :thinking:

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My thoughts are your sister should mind her own business :woman_shrugging:

She needs to mind her own business. Financial stuff differ from relationship to relationship. Do you girl.

You are a very strong person, I have been with my husband for 27 years, we both have our own bank accounts and we have a savings account together! Once you get hurt you learn to Always take care of yourself no matter what it is! Your a wise woman!

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I’ve been in a real relationship (together for nearly 20 years, married for over 11 years with a 3 year old son)… We have seperate bank accounts amd always have. It’s what works for us. I have no idea how having a joint account correlates to have a “real” relationship. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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Different thing work for different relationships . Your sister has her opinion you have yours . Your opinion has Been birthed by trauma she should respect that .
I have been with the same man for 20 years we don’t live together people think it’s messed up. It works for us . Tell yr sister you live yr life yr way she can do tge same . Life’s to short for conflict .

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I refuse to have a joint account with my husband. So does that mean my relationship of 12 almost 13 years is fake??? Wait what about the pet sperms walking around? Does that make them fake kids??? :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Listen that person is bitter and jealous. Tell that person to kick rocks. Misery loves company. Don’t let them bring you down.

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I see nothing wrong with having both a joint account and also separate accounts as married people but being that you’re still just dating and not married I wouldn’t go jumping into joint accounts for anything because that would make life very complicated if y’all split up.

My husband and I share an account. We haven’t had any issues. I think it is up to the couple. We have lived together before we were together. It works for us. We don’t have spending issues. We have good communication about what’s going on and what needs to be spent on bills and what not. Either which way doesn’t define your relationship being fake or real.

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If you want separate bank accounts there not anything wrong with it. . just saying. Go for it. It’s your money you worked for it. Take care of yourself first

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My parents have been married for over 30 years and have separate accounts. My sister and her husband have separate. I have separate with my 2nd husband. With my 1st we shared but there were spending issues with that so I keep it separate now :woman_shrugging: you do what works for you

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My husband and I been married for 20 years we have one joint, then ,each have our own separate account

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I’ve never had a joint account with any one and Never ever would…

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My husband & I have separate accounts. I transfer money from his to mine for bills etc. Never would I even consider a joint acct with a boyfriend :roll_eyes: tuh

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We have our own accounts, once married we did a joint account mainly for our taxes and we would transfer money to for the bills.

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It’s a personal choice, but very wise to have separate accounts and a joint account that you each contribute and pay household bills from. There’s no need to “ask” before spending your money, but easily see where and when the combined funds are being spent.

I have been married for 34 years. We have our own separate accounts

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I am engaged and we have 3 bank accounts lol his, mine and ours and that’s how we will always keep it.

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Been with my bf for 13 years now. NEVER had a joint account. We each pay half of bills, & share groceries, etc. Pay our own cars, insurance, phones, gas, etc. But helpbeach other out when needed.
Was married for 8 yrs. We had a joint account for bills & taxes, & a joint savings we BOTH had to be present to sign for to remove money from & each our our checking account.
Doesn’t mean a thing towards "real relationship " :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:
It’s what works for “us” & how we are comfortable!

Sharing money doesn’t mean anything … when you share the heart is what makes a real relationship

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I watched this thing on tik tok (think it was Steve Harvey), that said couples should have 3 bank accounts (or maybe it was 4).

1: a joint account that you both contribute to that is to cover all the bills

2: a savings account you both contribute to (for rainy days or holidays etc)

3: your own personal bank account, and that money is to do with as you please.

Think there was a 4th that was a joint account for household repairs that you both put money into (obviously only if you own your own house)

And that you should discuss what percentage each person puts into it (whether it is 50-50 or 70-30 etc)

Bullshit… married 30 years we don’t have joint accounts.

Who even does that these days :rofl:

Girl you keep your separate bank account and your relationship

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I have my own account still it also has my moms name as a secondary if for some reason can’t get to bank. And also have account with his name on it I had to open for him at time me being member with credit union its mainly his though.i could use if needed.

u have a valid reason not having a joint account. i have bith. joint and seperate. tell her to kick rocks

Your sister is old. Lol :wink:

This bank account “ideal” for Dating / married couples is old and out dated.

Separate accounts in a relationship are there to protect both parties. It makes you financially smart. Don’t let your sister or anyone tell you otherwise.

Your sister sounds jealous. Don’t take what she says to heart.