My sister uses me and then accused me of using her...advice?

what would you do if your sister only called you for rides? But when you ask her for help with her nieces she has a fit and calls me a user ?Little back story. My sister only calls me for when she needs rides places and sometimes I help and sometimes I’m not able to because it’s around the time one of my kids gets out of school and then she gets all mad that I can’t help her. I’ll occasionally ask her to watch my kids for a hour or so just in between the time I have to go to work and my husband comes home. I haven’t asked her in the past 4 months to help me out. I even offer to pick her up and give her money to get her self dinner. well I asked her to help watch my kids and she goes you only call me when you need me to help with your kids and then proceeds to delete me off all social media accounts she has. But still has my kids names on her instagram account bio. AITA to just fully cut her out of our lives


I’ve cut so much family and friends out of my life because they constantly had something negative to say or just plain users . Way more happy now . You will be to

I had to cut my sister from my life. Not happy or proud about but she would do nothing but upset me. As I fight cancer she is not what I need.
I wonder how she is doing but there is no way for me to check.

Give her the same treatment
She gives you

If family is toxic I personally believe we have to protect ourselves, blood lines do not make families… Respect, trust, love, empathy, loyalty etc does!


No you need to sit down an talk to each other an try to get a solution for the situation

Cleaned out my sisters house because she is a hoarder and she is mad Trying to keep HR from getting involved

Just make a deal with her. Everytime she needs a ride she owes you an hour of babysitting. And vice versa . That way you are helping each other and no one feels used .


But it sounds like you are both calling each other for help….do either of you call/text just to say hi?


I cut my sister off 19 yrs ago, she came in the house screaming hello…i had just put my 1 year old down for a nap, she snapped and said she didn’t have kids, she didn’t care. She lives up north, we live in Florida… she now has 2 kids, I’ve never met. She hasn’t been to my parents house down here since. The only time she will see my parents is if my mom takes them into Disney…or goes to the hotel they are at. My father is blind and doesn’t go out much due to it. My sister doesn’t care, she thinks she’s above everyone, let it be

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Stop doing her favors like picking up her kids or giving her money for dinner. Unless it’s a real emergency like she got into a car wreck, then let her be on her own . But don’t tell her that. She will be in wrecks all the time.

My family is the same lol all but 2

Nope, NTA, I understand, with that being said, you should both try to talk outside of asking for help, I lost my sister in June, id give anything to have her back

Nope. When she calls you yell “this isn’t Uber or Lyft!”

Sounds like you never do anything fun together or just spend time enjoying each other’s company. So it does seem like you just use each other when you need help. Maybe do something fun together with all the kids, or leave the kids with their dads or someone else and go get coffee or drinks together, go for a walk, see a movie, go to an art exhibit, see a local play. Do something joyful to rekindle good feelings/memories.

Then negotiate from your sisterly friendship as to how often you can ask each other for help without getting annoying. Figure out the best days & times for you each to be able to help and what constitutes reciprocity.

If you just absolutely can’t get along after this, then take a break from each other and just see each other at family events and for fun outings everybody likes.

No matter what, each of you should develop your friend/family networks so you have lots of people to call on for help so you’re not exclusively dependent on each other.

Pay back your sister and these other folks who help you out however makes sense: a ride and some cookies for an hour of babysitting (or more depending on how difficult your children are, or less depending on how far you have to drive), taking someone for coffee/lunch/dinner in exchange for picking up your kids or keeping them at their house, or looking at their computer for their looking at your car, or whatever. And don’t forget to say thank you, and teach your children to do the same. Gratitude should ensure you will be able to call on these people again and again.

Spread out the favor-asking so you’re rotating people and not overburdening any one person, and make sure you’re having fun with them outside of doing favors.

It’s OK to cut off "family " toxic is toxic and ur mental health is Important…

nope. do it. cut cut cut. :scissors: :scissors::scissors::scissors:

Sounds like childish drama.

Next time she asks you for a ride say “you only call me when you need a ride. You just use me.” See if she realizes. Some people just don’t think.

Sounds like your spoiled lil’ sister has a problem- sounds like she’s trying to manipulate any/all situation to meet her needs. “Cutting “ her out is hard for me to understand (being the oldest of 10) but that may be a “cultural “ thing. You simply tell her “ no” and you handle your kids without her assistance- still talk with her - never give up communication- but this will show her that life goes on without her. Then try to explain that asking her to be a part of your children’s life was by Your Choice. Your job is your children and to make sure they are in the environment You want. If she can’t understand this or respect you - than maybe call or meet you away from your babies. Eventually- things will go either way - only time can tell. But you do what your “momma feelers or gut” says to do.

It sounds like you both only call each other when you need something. It sounds like both of your feelings are hurt. Instead of cutting your sister out of your life, because you both want to spend more time together, ask her to out with you for a sister’s day.

Seems like you both do the same , to call each other only when you need something from the other side.
Grow up!!!

Sounds like me and my sisters one I haven’t talked to for 12 yrs and the other got mad and both deleted me off social media but oh well life still goes on

Ask no quarter, give no quarter!

Ordinarily I would say forget social media slights but because she is acting like she’s dysfunctional and unethically selfish you cannot let her box you out of her social media and still remain active with your children, she has displayed behaviors that could include trying to back door communicate in order to poison the well between you and your kids