My SO cut my sons hair when I asked him not to: Thoughts?

Hey Mommies How Would You Feel If You Told Your Other Half Not To Cut Your Sons Hair Because Your Waiting Till His First Birthday And You’re At Work And Get A Video Of Your Sons Beautiful Soft Blonde Hair Gone

80 Likes

Well it’s not just your choice and he probably thought he was helping. It’s up to dad as well :confused:

4 Likes

My ex did this to me once. And needless to say he ask Everytime before he does it.

It’s up to dad as well but if mommy clearly said no he shouldn’t go behind her and cut his hair, he should wait until they reach a compromise unless the hair is really causing the baby not to see or something urgent like that.

1 Like

Maybe he thought he was helping? It’s wrong but hair grows back

3 Likes

I would be pissed. It should be a mutual decision but if you expressed your feelings and he went behind your back and did it anyway without even talking to you…yeah i would be hella pissed.

IF it was already discussed, & he did it anyway I’d be pissed.

1 Like

Eh, I’d be kinda mad since he knew my wishes, but it wouldn’t be worth my time and energy to be pissed about it for long. It’ll grow back. Pick your battles.

6 Likes

I would’ve been pissed! That was one of my things too… no one get a hair cut before their first birthday. Hell my daughter is almost 7 &hasn’t had a hair gut &if he took her we would be fighting

3 Likes

It’s blatant disrespect to disregard what someone wants to do. Not much you can do about it now besides be mad at him for that fact. Why did he feel like his wishes were more important than your own?

2 Likes

Was it to long?? Was it just notty? Did he get it to dirty 24.7?

You don’t own the kid you had TOGETHER,
Move past it it’s hair it’ll grow back

16 Likes

My baby daddy did that to me with my daughter. I was pissed but I couldn’t put it back and she was none the wiser. He had kids already so it wasn’t a big deal to him but I let him know I was bothered and it hurt my feelings but after that there’s not much more to do about it.

1 Like

Its disrespectful that he did it without you. And it being your babys first haircut and you missed it. Yes I would be pissed

8 Likes

I’d. Be. Pissed. But it is his kid too, right? Is he allowed any say so with the kid or do you make all the rules. Keep the hurt to yourself. Maybe he was trying to do something good. There are literally millions of other huge things to be worried about. Long less, post about. In the nicest way I can say it…get over it and yourself.

It’s hair… it’s gonna grow back. Bigger things in life to get your panties in a bunch over.

5 Likes

It’s a hard one… im not siding with him but it’s his son too…

2 Likes

Pick your battles - I dont see that as a high ranking one.
Yes I would be upset/frustrated but I wouldnt be pissed enough to post about it.

9 Likes

I Hate this I’ve always asked and let him know out of Respect,and I expected him to return the respect and my ex went and shaved my kid basically bald and my son hated it so bad because he was growing his hockey hair out, :cry: all it needed was a trim, and makes me more mad because I take the child to Get them done never asked him to help pay and always pay he just takes a buzz cutter and fucks it Up super short with out letting me know

OMG its HAIR…I cannot believe these comments over something so trivial. May you all never have real problems

28 Likes

What do you mean you “told” him? If this question was in reverse, and he TOLD you to cut it…? Telling him what to do isn’t the same as coming to an agreement.

17 Likes

Did the child want it cut?? If so, then there’s no problem.

1 Like

I’d be pissed. I took all my kids for their 1st hair cuts, got before and after pics, and saved a lock.

3 Likes

Why is it disrespectful for him to cut the hair because she doesn’t want to but it’s not disrespectful for her to refuse to let the childs other parent get their hair cut?

7 Likes

But she never said that he was his son too… she said her boyfriend not his father

Will you cant do anything about it. When it’s his time with the child you dnot have control over what he does like he dosent with you

1 Like

Oh, it well grow back!!
Don’t know what the problem with this…
He needs a haircut!!

It’s hair. It will grow back…

I can understand the feeling of betrayal. But, no need to get all grumpy over it.

Just talk to your partner about how it feels as though it should have been a discussion.
You both have an opinion and need to agree on these things.

5 Likes

I’d be pissed about it and he should have not done it untill you both agree on getting it done

Not siding with him bec I’d be very upset too, more so that I couldn’t be there. But it’ll grow back mama.

Longest title for a book ever

4 Likes

It’s hair. It will grow back. Get mad at him for something worth you stressing about. I’m sure he isn’t stressed. That’s his kid too. Why do women think they solely own said child? :woman_shrugging:t2: communication is key. If you demanded me not to do something… and were rude and nasty… I’d cut it too. The way you talk to someone determines how they even acknowledge what you have to say. Go have a margarita… go for a run… get that anxiety out love!

4 Likes

it should have been an agreement but it’s just hair. it will grow back. also you said told him like it wasn’t a discussion but an authority figure giving a command

1 Like

Get over it. Choose your battles. He has just as much right as u do. My hubby wants my sons hair long but I constantly cut it.

4 Likes

Just like the mother has the option to say “not till the first bday.” So does the dad. Unless either one have certain decision making.

Did your son have a say in it? How old is he?

If it was his first cut and I wasn’t there I’d be pissed. But if its not his first cut than I don’t see a problem.

If your SO is your sons dad, then I think it’s ok and you are over reacting. Harsh, but my opinion x

4 Likes

I am so glad my sons father and I agreed to when our son said he wanted it cut, we would do it. :roll_eyes: He was almost 5 before our son got his first hair cut. But if either of us cut without knowledge first, I am sure we wouldnt have been happy with each other. You just need to come to an agreement. Its done and over now. Yes I would be so upset because yeah, first hair cuts are a milestone for most first time moms. They want to be there and experience it. Sigh.

I’d punch him in the damn face!!

My ex cut all my daughters hair off. She had never had a hair cut before. Her hair was all the way to her bottom. It ended up all the way up to her shoulders. He sent it home to me in a bag. Trust me, I’ve been thru hell with my ex and back. A mere haircut is nothing.

1 Like

Well what’s done is done can’t glue it back on accept forgive and move on

I’d cut off something of my SO and not his hair…

3 Likes

My kid has beautiful curls. My husband knows how strongly I feel that we absolutely cannot cut his hair any time soon. (It’s short and curly right now- to cut even the ends could ruin the curl) considering that we have had detailed discussions about it and the reasons not to cut his hair, I would be pissed if my hubs cut his hair without my knowledge. But again we have had detailed discussions as to why it wouldn’t be a good idea and came to a mutual decision. If the OP just “told him not to” that’s kind of sucky on her part, but if she and the SO had a discussion and an agreement then she has the right to be pissed

2 Likes

I’d be mad I missed his first hair cut but if he’s the father he doesn’t have to have permission to cut his child hair.

4 Likes

You say “my” son, not “our” if that’s so, I’d be pissed. If its mutual kid, and he didnt agree to it, just because you say something, doesn’t mean thats what has to go. He’s the dad too. Grow up…

4 Likes

Ah ffs there’s worse things in the world going on :flushed::rofl:

Just take a hot shower & cry for a min then let it go. Pick your battles cause it’ll grow back (repeated for the thousandth time, sorry). My feelings would be hurt too, but it’s okay

4 Likes

Done now. Dads have say too.

2 Likes

It’s hair and will grow back. Ya seem to be causing a problem where there isn’t one :roll_eyes:

1 Like

We had this discussion about our oldest. I said i wanted to cut it and hubby said he didn’t, so I haven’t had hers cut. Her hair has had the ends trimmed twice and thats it. Yes, its hair and it will grow back. But if it was a discussion before and he did it anyway, that was wrong. And that would go for if he said no to something and you did it anyway.

4 Likes

Is he the parent too?

1 Like

I was pissed. I got pictures. All his beautiful curls gone. We lived.

It’s his kid too. You’re not the only person that gets to decide.

3 Likes

Just because he is also a parent doesn’t mean he can just do what he wants. Y’all are married. It is supposed to be a mutual decision. Especially since you expressed it meant something to you and you wanted to wait. You have every right to be mad.

8 Likes

That is so wrong but it is only hair pick your battles wisely, is it worth it. Its not about the hair, but about trust, respecting boundaries, and inclusion of everyones feelings. Thats what you should be fighting about xxxx

4 Likes

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

 You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
 For they have their own thoughts.
 You may house their bodies but not their souls,
 For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
 You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
 For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
 You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
 The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
 Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
 For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

From The Prophet (Knopf, 1923). This poem is in the public domain.

Sad you guys couldn’t come to an agreement but what’s done is done. No point in negative energy… It sucks, trust me I know… My mom and her bf at the time took my son to get his 1st professional pictures while I was at work after I said not without me. I was hurt and mad but nothing I could do but let go. You both have equal rights in your situation at least so try to figure out how to come to an agreement for future then go with it and remind each other when needed

My opinion I would be highly upset… y’all should’ve agreed on something. If he didn’t think the first birthday was okay then he should’ve told you… YALL SHOULDVE COMMUNICATED! My other half doesn’t go against what I say just like I don’t do against what he says.

1 Like

I’d be mad to Miss his first hair cut , it’s all about respect to each other. It’s be nice for both parents see their child hair cut.

1 Like

Ummmmm SERIOUSLY. HIS KID TOO…

1 Like

Yeh dads have a say two :woman_shrugging:t3: you wasn’t there and you should have agreed to certain length your happy with and both been happy and hair grows lol :rofl:

Parenting regardless of together or seperated is a team effort!
If they go agint your wishes they are being disrespectful and teaching the kids its ok to go aginst and disrespect mom!!
Parenting and relationships take respect, communication, compmrise and trust.
I’d be a bit mad, I’d tell him I felt disrespected and disappointed that I missed something that was extremely important to me. Remind him that we are a team and deserve respect and compromise especially when dealing with OUR children.

Your SO has little respect for you. I wouldn’t be happy but there’s nothing that can be done now.

1 Like

Doesnt matter if he has a say, you’ve previously discussed the topic and he went and did what he wanted to do anyways. You have every right to be upset BUT DONT LET THIS BE MORE THAN WHAT IT IS!!

That wasn’t a haircut, that was spite work. I’m in no position to advise, having never been attached to a spiteful POS, let alone one that would use a child for his spitefulness!) But I would consider single parenthood in whichever of the 49 other states that is farthest away from him, and amend baby’s birth certificate to remove his name. Baby does not deserve 18 years of that.

5 Likes

Well I’m a hairstylist so I feel like I get to mk that call n if something regarding sports or something he’s knowledgeable in it’s his call

Is he this childs father? All i see is he’s your SO. So i’m not sure where these women are getting that he’s also the father.

Either way, very little respect was given to you and your wishes. You expressed that you were waiting. I’d be upset too.

So I would point out to him that you had asked him not to do this, so in the future if he asks you not to do something and you decide you want to do it anyway, he shouldn’t be surprised if you do it. The fact that you had told him you wanted to wait until his first birthday if you’d have felt different he should have said something then not wait till you weren’t there and do it or does he not listen like most men.

2 Likes

You have every right to your feelings, just as dad had every right to his action :woman_shrugging:t4:
He didn’t do anything wrong

2 Likes

If its the daddy he has a right too

2 Likes

I’d be livid. Why? Because my husband and I share parenting choices. None of this “it’s my child too, I can decide as well” we discuss everything and if we cant agree, we come to a compromise that we can both feel ok about (even if not absolutely happy). If he is absolutely adamant about something, I respect that. If I am absolutely adamant about something, he respects that. Neither of us go behind eachothers backs to do things, with or without our kids.
Something like that would probably have us separate to be brutally honest. Knowing that one didnt want something until a certain time, and the other doing it and sending pics or video. That’s spiteful, like “idk what you want, I’m doing what I want and sending proof just to hurt you” and that is not a healthy relationship.

8 Likes

Yaaaaaa I’d lose my shit. Especially considering we have 2 girls and the oldest has hair down to her butt and it’s beautiful. Our other babe is only 4 months but I’d feel the same about her hair too.

That’s messed up! To some it’s just a hair cut… I would’ve been pist off too if my husband took my kids for his first haircut when he clearly knew I wanted to wait for his first bday.
I hope he at least saved a little lock of hair and took pictures of him getting his first hair cut.

3 Likes

I would be fuming i would kick my Husbands ass!! I would get over it in time but would always bug me x

This is my son and grandson

Honestly I’m more Annoyed That You Type Like This. It’s just hair.

4 Likes

I would flip… is he the dad? had you two spoken about what you planned? was his hair hanging in his eyes? yall need to really have some communication

I mean who left it to you to be decision maker?? He’s dad soooo

2 Likes

My whole family begged me not to get my sons hair cut and I’m sorry my son my rules. Kid couldn’t see his hair was so long and in his face. Took him and got a high and tight done and he’s loved it since

1 Like

He’d be DEAD and out the door. We didn’t cut our son’s hair til I chose to do it. My husband didn’t care but it was a big deal to me.

3 Likes

I cried when my ex cut our sons hair and actually was part of our court that parents shouldn’t cut their kids hair without consent from the other… it’s a respect thing

3 Likes

I mean…its hair. My husband and I agreed (and this applied even if we were split up) that I would make decisions for our daughters hair, and he would make decisions for our sons. My daughter is 5 now, so she controls how she wants it cut, what color, etc. All I decide is maintainence. My son is 2, and we let him have a say now but before if my husband felt his hair was too long, he would cut it. I mean it’s not a huge deal and in a few years it wont be your decision anyway so I wouldnt make it a big deal now.

2 Likes

Its their child too !!!

Some of these comments tho🤣 its a haircut, not the end of the world.

4 Likes

Honestly it’s hair you will have millions of chances to get it cut again.

Kind of sad to see how many people in this group have grown accustomed to unhealthy relationships and boundaries and consider it norm. I truly hope life gets better for you all, because this is horrible.

1 Like

Its hair… it grows back

Annoyed and mad but I would have to get over it as it does grow back!

It’s hair it grows back iknow iknow it’s a respect thing but it’s his child too

It’s both of yalls decision :woman_shrugging:t3: literally gonna fight over hair? That grows back?

2 Likes

When my boyfriend wanted to get our sons hair cut and I wanted to wait , we compromised , he ended up waiting longer than he wanted too to get it cut and I ended up getting it cut a littler earlier than I wanted too. He shouldn’t have just gone ahead and cut your kids hair , ESPECIALLY if he isn’t the father. It’s not something to blow up over but you certainly have a right too be mad. He didn’t respect you.

3 Likes

It wouldn’t bother me as much as seeing a capital letter at the beginning of every word. :woman_shrugging:

9 Likes

I would be livid. Not because the father made a decision but because he made it without you and didn’t include you in something that was important to you.

3 Likes

I would definitely be upset, especially if I had told him beforehand that it was important to me that we wait. I’d probably cry for a while, but then be alright. It is just hair and not worth a big fight and exhausting yourself over because it will grow back.

1 Like

You know my husband did that with all of my kids and it’s a good thing because they probably would still have all their hair today :rofl::rofl::rofl:

If it’s the child’s father I dont see the big deal, but if it’s the woman’s boyfriend then I see the issue and why she would be upset even if it is just hair.

But if the guy is a the child’s father then why does it matter? Does he not have a say in what can be done to the child? Can he not make the choice to get his hair cut?

Becareful cutting hair… my ex daughter in law and her boyfriend put my granddaughters hair in a ponytail and cut it. She went to school and when someone said something about her “new” cut, she started crying and the school called CPS. That’s considered altering her appearance… not sure since so young…

If it were before their first bday id be pissed.

I’d be a little annoyed too, cause I wanna get before and after pics and save a lock for a scrapbook, but in the end it’s just hair. Remember he is a parent too, it’s not just “what mom says is law.” Plus it doesn’t sound like you actually had a discussion with him about what you both want to do with his hair & that you just kind of brought it up in passing which is kind of inconsiderate and dismissive of anything he might want to do with the kiddo’s hair