My SO doesn't want our daughter having makeup or any technology: Advice?

She wants make up. Talk to dad and find common colors that he might agree with. Clear, light pink, simple things like that. Maybe convince him to go to the store with you and find neutral ground that way.

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Definitely needs to be a compromise. The world runs on technology and so its normal for your daughter to want to have some. Just limit the time sheā€™s allowed to use it. As for the makeup, sheā€™s 7 so aside from letting her have some play makeup for when sheā€™s playing dress up or whatever then I have to say I wouldnā€™t let my little girl wear makeup either as she has plenty of years to grow into all that mess lol.

I understand where dad is coming from on technology but as long as screen time is limited then I donā€™t see the issue. As far as make up in my opinion let the girl have fun. I donā€™t recommend the play make up but there are cheap make up options.

Kids love makeup and nail polish, thatā€™s not a problem but rules like not wearing makeup out. You can make a playlist of videos she can watch, you can also find the youā€™ve history and see what she has watched. He also has valid points but itā€™s a 2 way street with one end point.

Personally I think technology is important for kids to learn now. Everything uses technology and itā€™s important to explore and understand, or else she could fall behind. Maybe compromise. Like an son fire tablet, they have kids profiles and child locks so it stays safe but still fun. For makeup maybe compromise to a tinted lip balm and blushes. Really easy and light makeup to start exploring, but something that wonā€™t be too obvious :person_shrugging:

Agree With him on the technology but nail & make-up fine for little girl that age

Whether you agree with your partner or not you shouldnā€™t buy her something that he is really against.
You can try sway him but it isnā€™t right to ā€˜get it anywayā€™.
If tables were turned how would you feel if you said No to something and then he bought it for her anyway ?

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Ehhh, the make up shes still too young for. Maybe compromise on some scented lip balms, they have some glittery chapsticks for young girls. And maybe only allow her a tablet a couple of times a week or 30 mins a day. These days everything is done online via a phone or computer so you definitely donā€™t want to keep her from technology all together. My daughter has a tablet that I downloaded several educational games & apps (that were also free). I let her play those after school while I make dinner or if weā€™re running errands so she will sit still. Compromise, but donā€™t shield your daughter.

sometimes being so ā€œstrictā€ can just cause them to rebelā€¦coming from experiencešŸ˜…

i would agree with dad technology isnā€™t any good for kiddos-espically tiktokā€¦

maybe a compromise of only wearing makeup at home for fun? or getting a not so serious makeup palette ??

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YouTube has porn and other sexual related videos. We donā€™t allow YouTube for this reason

I would agree with husband on this one. No harm in waiting until sheā€™s a couple years older. Also a device with strict parental controls would be advised

Iā€™d say compromise and wait until sheā€™s 8 or 9. Then start small. Our 10yo has a tablet with only approved apps, absolutely no social media (including YouTube) although I downloaded an app called ā€œSAFE VISIONā€ where we approve YouTube channels and only those we approve she can watch. No electrics in bedrooms and only 1 hour a day

I think it is a compromise thing. For example kids nail polish and light or non colored lip gloss only and/or technology with limited/timed screen time. Such as an hour a day or an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening after all school work, chores or whatever is done. Just some ideas.

How does his way over rule what u say? Iā€™m not getting that partā€¦itā€™s suppose to be a team(parenting). I think the nail polish is fine, paint her toesā€¦the technology, put time limits on itā€¦the world and jobs are moving more and more into technology., she is gonna be lacking.

Also you could download learning apps and put parental controls on most tablets and other devices as well.

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The nails is ok yall can play nail salon and and she can learn about self care. I would hold off on makeup on technology as long as possible

Why does a 7 yr old need makeup? A tablet is fine with parental control

I personally am a no technology in the house person BUT I am with the kids almost 24/7 and sometimes when dad is with them without me he will let them watch TV or something which Iā€™m fine with because I know our kids can be stressful and heā€™s not very patient or imaginative to do interactive play with them. But because I am with them most of the time he respects my wishes and tries not to let them do things I donā€™t let them do. I think as parents yall have to talk it out. For your side of the conversation Iā€™d bring up the fact that youā€™re with her most of them time (if true) and maybe thatā€™s why he should be a little more lax or compromise on a middle ground for your opposing views. Good luck. But most importantly be on the same page and respect each others sides/rules.

If you get make-up please get her actual make-up and not the play stuff that is not as regulated. On that note, I have twin girls (7) and they play with make-up in the house only. Without technology I feel they are going to be behind in future opportunities. My girls have tablets that I regulate everything on. They use abc mouse, an IQ reading app, hooked on phonics and youtube kids. Thatā€™s it. It shows them how to work the tech and anything they do -with the exception of youtube kids- is educational

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Very Limited access
Experimenting is a good thing with kids

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My husband sounds like yours. We have an 8 year old. He did give in on the makeup and nail stuff. Shes only allowed to wear it at home. As far as technology goes, no. She had a tablet at one point and decided to whine when the screen time limit closed it down, halfway doing chores to get screen time and had a major attitude when she was on it. My husband ended up smashing it with a hammer. She is allowed on my laptop for 30 minutes and has an opportunity to earn more time but it has to be used in front of us.

My husband thinks children should play outside and use their imagination. He claims to much technology is whats wrong with the kids these days not having social skills, imagination and knowing the value of a dollar from working. He is only 36 but acts like a grandpa

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Maybe meet in the middle I see no problem with her having play makeup and maybe a kids tablet with all the parental controls that only has games for only when the weatherā€™s too bad to play outside

He needs to stop being so controlling and paranoid. She should be allowed a kidā€™s tablet and play makeup, and doing your nails together. Sounds like you married a dude stuck in the past.

Do you wear makeup? Does your child see you using makeup? Thereā€™s nothing wrong with it and your child is wanting to be like her role model. A child doesnā€™t need their own technology but thereā€™s nothing wrong with being exposed to it. We are probably looking at the next 18 months to 2 years using technology for work and school.

All little girls love to play with makeup even if itā€™s just around the house as sheā€™s so young it can be a fun thing rather then getting dressed up and changing how she looks and limit the technology as their are some great things for the younger children but not all the time both ur opinions matter so mayve come to an agreement

I have a 5 year old daughter. I have let her play with makeup since she was 3. The rule is- its not allowed out of the house unless its so simple its unnoticeable. She watches mom do it every day and just wants to imitate, nothing wrong with that in my book. As far as technology my philosophy is if parents show restraint and are not on devices all the time kids will follow suit. There is a time to be present and there is a time to check out. My kids enjoy there imaginary play and outdoor time and there devices. All things in moderation. The trick is for parents to practice what they preach. If you want your kids to use devices for short periods of time- well then do that yourself. We are our childrenā€™s first teachers.

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Nail polish and Chapstick or lip gloss? Other makeup no. I have a 12 10 and 3 year old. Technologyā€¦i mean he is right. And its hard to stop that once you start.

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I agree with your husband. Those were my thoughts when my oldest son was little. His dad likes playing video games and argued that we should allow our son to as well. I disagreed but lost the argument. My ex husband now has zero to do with our kids (his choice) and my oldest son is absolutely addicted to technology and it is a fight every single day. Let your daughter remain a kid as long as she can before thereā€™s outside influences affecting her.

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I mean i can understand where heā€™s coming from a bit but you can do stuff with certain boundaries. Banning her is only going to cause issues in the long run and so much stuff is technology based now itā€™d be better she learn how to work stuff. One of the schools here has learning tablets for students as young as kindergarten and ran into alot of kids struggling because they arenā€™t allowed to touch things. I have a few learning games on my old tablet for my daughter so she can learn but most stuff is locked on it just in case

U RESPECT that man thats a great man right there.

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I agree with Dad sheā€™s too young for makeup and a tablet nope why is that needed

If you get her make up, teach her that it is only to enhance her beautiful features, not to look like a clown lol. There is age appropriate make up you can find in toy sections. Tablet for educational use is good. There are parental control you can put in place and a time limit of internet access. We have our sons (3) and our daughter (14) parental lockdown on tablet & phone.

If it wasnt for learning games on phones,than my neice would be below where she is right now. Also its not the 60s where kids just play with imaginative toys. Tell her dad that times change and some kids can learn better on devices suck has tablet,ipad,etc and that having vanishes,etc can teach her also. She canā€™t play fake stuff her whole child hood. My neice is always good and has never had to have any parental control on any devices. if thatā€™s what she wants than give her what she wants because they only stay little once,and its not the 60s where every kid is suppose to play with their imagination,and theres nothing wrong with the list that she wants. My husband has already ordered a small tablet so when our baby gets here she can start watching learning videos,and im sure sheā€™ll start playing with nails,etc as soon as she can pick them up an until she can,are family will be doing that for her instead. Give this baby what she wants for Christmas and tell the dad that times change.

Ok so my 6yr old has a kindle fire. That being said with strict parental control he only access to shared apps between his side and my side of the kindle and has to complete 30-60mins of educational applications or books before having access to entertainment depending on the day of the week, with his overall screen time limited to 2 hours for the day. Mind you we are homeschooling and therefore he uses it for this. As for makeup my parents were beyond strict and it wasnā€™t allowed beyond lip gloss until we could buy it ourselves. We were allowed plastic play jewelry, many hair accessories and once we could paint our nails without dumping it every where we were allowed. I think this needs to be a conversation between you and your partner with a mutual front shown to your daughter because otherwise you will have bigger problems in the future but thatā€™s just my opinion.

Makeup is no different to face paint when that age. Is he worried bout sexualisation??
Wot if she wanted to do calisthenics or ballet?
As far as technology U can monitor it!
I have no long movies or iPad on a school nite after 6pm n an hr to hr n half only any other time.

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You and you husband need to compromise on this so it doesnā€™t cause a huge issue. I think having none at all will just make her want it more and wonā€™t teach her balance but his points are valid too. I think if you started with for ex. A reading tablet with more educational games and no social media and only a certain time limit. I think it will help kids to have a basic understanding of tech in this world. As for make up, maybe he can help you find ā€œfunā€ make up or light colors. Maybe you can also show him some artistic make up to open his mind a bit.

I have 4 girls. Thier 14, 12,11 and almost 7. Their all only allowed to wear it at home. If they wear it outside it goes in the garbage.

Im old school! Make up at 13 but looks natural. I hate technology. I hate it with a passion, I hate that the schools use it. I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT! Technology is just a disturbance, kids these days love and want it so bad. Parents these days allow it so the kids will stop bothering parents. I use Family Link. Im there as a parent and watch their every move. I hate that they donā€™t use text books, pencils, and paper and that they always need to use Ipads or laptops. However, I have control over my home. As far as makeup??? Yes its ok for play makeup, but not an everyday thing. Children should remain children. Makeup doesnt start til 13-14 but even still, At this day and age, u really dont want themselves into it. Thats when they start looking older, lie about ages, get into othet technology and want to meet a man 2 times their age cuz they are lying and saying they are 18. Be subtle this day and age. U will lose ur child making them grow up too fast

They have to have technology in order to be in school. Soā€¦

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While I understand dads concerns re- tech, By blocking her from it completely he is putting her at the highest risk of his fears when she does get a hold of it because heā€™s made it ā€˜tabooā€™ rather than teaching her the appropriate uses etc

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Your husband is right. She is 7 and not 16. My daughter is 13 and she asks for the same and my answer is no. Tech has too many sexual content and make up is made of dead fish and babiesā€¦ To give in is wrong. Research and teach yourself first whats going on and if you are ok with that shit well then do as you please I guess because you seem to not even care what your hubby said. Good luck with not fucking that upā€¦

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Reach a compromise

Yes to make up, no to technology

Yes to make up but it doesnā€™t leave the house? As much as I can see where he is coming from, sheā€™s 7 not 13 sheā€™s hardly going to be using it to get boys

Yes to technology but get one of those tablets where they have to complete something educational before getting the entertainment part. Do they use tablets/computers at school? I think itā€™s OK so long as sheā€™s not on social media seeing things that are too old for her

At what age does he think make up and technology will be OK? As much as I agree with the sentiment that kids should stay kids for as long as they can forcing them to stay your little girl forever is just as damaging

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Since mom already wears make up - This can be used in role play and not just ā€œchanging yourselfā€ tech I believe should be controlled strictly with times and what the can or cannot do - just like our parents controlled our tv and land line use.

The make up part I get. But maybe he would settle for lip gloss or chapstick :thinking:

As for cell phones. My 16 yr old doesnā€™t have one and nor do yonger kids.

But they do have the kid attention of the Amazon fire tablets.

Hope sheā€™s allowed tv at least.

I appreciate where your husband is coming from and its extremely commendable. However in this day in age, technology is everywhere including in the schools. Its perfectly fine for her age as long as she is monitored, time wise as well as what shes watching. Sheltering our children too much tends to allow for other children to teach your child things you havenā€™t. A little computer time and make up wont hurt! Goodluck

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ā€œI donā€™t see a issue with the makeup because I wear itā€ you are a adult she is a child. To be fair Iā€™m kinda with dad here. My husband doesnā€™t carry a phone doesnā€™t like anything like that he believes the same. He would give the girls tablet time or something but he much rathers them being outside exploring and get dirty And having fun at the park rather than their heads in a tablet , I personally have noticed how well it works . Maybe speak to dad and come to some sort of arrangement like you buy the kids a tablet and limit time on it . I think there needs to be give and take on both your opinions xx

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I agree to an extent. Get her some nail polish.

Make up, to me is a hands on, imaginative kind of play and can be used for many kinds of activities, not just making oneself look better.
However, after having two 18 yr old girls and a near 17 yr old son. If I could go back and change our rules regarding cell phone use, social media, etc., I would have waited until at least 16.

I agree with your husband. Keep boundaries. Sheā€™s only 7. From experience, it does make them want to grow up faster and follow what they see online. Good luck!

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my daughter (17 in February) I didnā€™t allow make up till 10 n my son (4) has a tablet with many different child locks) but I understand not wanting to go on tick to even my daughter at almost 17 can not have FB or social media but once the tablet die its done for the day just like crayons or markers when yiur done its done.maybe let yr daughter play whn u do yr make up (like lips gloss n light stuff) cuz even my son loves make up n the soft brushes n it is ā€œhands onā€ n teach her how do to do ā€œnaturalā€ looks lol I know shes young n wouod want yr bright red lipstick lol but you have to give and take n my hubs hated whn my daughter came down afta playing with make up n she looked like a Victorian whore but then dhe went in the tub sit down n try to give n take with hubs maybe get barbie make up for her barbies? sorry I kno what yr go in thru n its such a hard time n age good luck hun sorry for the rambles lol

Iā€™d talk to the dad and meet half way in the middle. Maybe start with nail polish and lip balm/lip gloss. As for the technology, Iā€™m on dads side to a degree. Personally I wouldnā€™t buy her an iPad but rather buy one for you that she can use when you say so, so itā€™s bought for her to use but itā€™s not 100% hers so you can take it away whenever you like. You can limit her time with it/apps etc

I would say yes to the makeup, nail polish, etc but I would definitely limit the technology. Would he maybe go for a leap frog type electronic system or something that is focused on learning? Maybe allow her technology after she does some extra ā€œlearningā€ or more interactive things with you guys

My husband is the same way with technology. But what he didnā€™t realize is our teen daughterā€™s are starting to be picked on in school for multiple reasons for this. They really want a smart phone cause they donā€™t have one and everyone laughs at them for it. Now with out the use of technology when virtual learning hit, all their teachers just expected them to know what they was doing, but they didnā€™t. And it sat my oldest daughter back 2 weeks and some of the teachers gave her grief even after I emailed them and called them almost every day. And we also have the mental stress for the girls besides being picked on. They seem to think dad just doesnā€™t trust them, and i know teens always feel this way, but their is no compromising with this man. While I was on board with this for awhile now Iā€™m starting to think different.

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Iā€™m the same way my son is not going to have a phone or tablet till at lest age 14 or 15 . ( heā€™s 18 months right now ) and Iā€™ve already told everyone he is not to have these toys or gadgets. I dont want his head stuck on YouTube or anything like . And yes he right it makes kids grow up to fast and they very much get attitudes if they dont have them . They dont play outside and they become numb to the world .

I have a 12 year old son who has had technology his whole life (how horrible :roll_eyes:) and is a straight A student 3 honors classes. Technology making kids dumb is the stupidest thing Iā€™ve heard.

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Agree with dadā€¦took away my 12 year olds phone & itā€™s like shes a whole new person, participates Iā€™m family activities, such a joy to be around, spends more time with her sisterā€¦maybe when high school hits but not during the growing up years

My husband is exactly the same. My daughter is now 11 and has a phone. At 7, this was a big no. No make up, no phones, be a kid and play. Itā€™s been for the best. She has a little bit of make up now, but canā€™t wear it out of the house. I have the phone set up with parental controls, she only gets an hour to use it each day with the activities monitored. These are kids, and they need to be kids and learn to grow and socialize without the use of technology. She loves to read and itā€™s an incredible self taught artist because of the lack of technology.

I agree with make up as for the tablet. Everything is done this way now they faster they learn the better

Kids should be outside playing sports and exploring but they also need to learn these devides

All my kids have phones and device

They are also amazing students and play all kids of elite sports

How do I make a fan question :thinking: