I’m confused. You can’t physically force a 10 year old to go to school? Gurl, pick his ass up, put him in the car, buckle him up, drive to the school, pick his ass up again and set him down in his seat in his classroom. He can fight and cry and scream but he’s still going to school. PERIOD!
Last I checked, YOU are the parent!!
I think most kids have separation anxiety. That’s just how it is for a little while. Him being diagnosed, makes this a little more sensitive obviously but you need to show him that he’s 10 and he doesn’t get to do whatever he wants or act however he wants to. He’s a child.
Is there a reason he doesn’t want to go to school other than separation anxiety? If there were bullying or something, that would be one thing, but just because he doesn’t feel like it? No. Absolutely not.
Find out why? Determine whether there is a legitimate problem. And then solve it. If he just doesn’t want to go to school like others do because life sucks and there’s rules, then too bad, you are the parent.
I would be finding out what’s going on at school for my child to not wanna go
My 11 year old does this as well…she also gets bullied pretty bad.
What did he say when asked why he doesn’t want to go to school?
Mine on the spectrum liked going to school (not preschool/Kindergarten if he hadn’t slept well)
If you’ve tried everything and nothing works, please do not physically force your child to go. There’s a reason they don’t want to go. Speaking from personal experience. I ended up with extreme anxiety and was forced to go to school and it traumatized me. If homeschool or online school is an option, please try it. He might only need it for a little bit but please stop forcing him to go.
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? Does he get bullied at school, maybe he needs a buddy when at school
I started having that same problem this semester when he entered 4th grade. Spoke to a Psychotherapist and she said it’s happening alot and can’t remember the name of what’s it’s called
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Get him into therapy. Anxiety is real and forcing him can cause trauma. Join some anxiety kids groups, they’re super helpful and you won’t feel alone. Maybe talk to the counselor at the school.
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You keep fighting? My 12 year old is autistic and refuses to go to school as well. And I physically take him and put him on the school bus. If he acts up on the bus, the driver calls me and I go pick him up and physically take him to school, where the resource officer will me us and tell him he has 2 choices…. School or jail for truancy because skipping school is against the law. And he willingly goes to class and cooperates after that. You want to f*** around? F around and find out. Because you won’t like the consequences.
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I live this life. My son has bad separation anxiety and crowd anxiety. Private message me. We can talk.
I’m having the same problem with my 17,15,13&11 year olds. None of my kids like going to school
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Why doesn’t he want to go…? You need to get down to the root reason.
He’s autistic. School is forcing him to socialize which is torture on an autistic person. Don’t make him go , home school him. Or find him a school that is comfortable for him ( a school for autism ) .
He’s being tested for autism. Do your research on what it means to be autistic. He is a zebra trying to fit in with horses. He is STRESSED. And he is COMMUNICATING to you that school IS HARD. Listen to your kid.
You can absolutely physically force him. You better believe that child would be over my shoulder kicking and screaming on the way to school. Idgaf what trauma this will cause. Why? Because he has to learn he doesn’t always have a say.
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I don’t know about your state, but in PA the fines are massive and they stack. The first one is $600 and they only go up from there which eventually end in court. My hometown had a school at the prison where the cops would pick up the kids and take them. That was always the threat the school made to kids who had poor attendance or were bad. Maybe you need to look into having a Bayada nurse go with him to school since he’s working on a diagnosis.
Follow The Wanelda Diaries she has an Autistic son and she can really give you some perspective.
Try indiana k12 if u have the time to sit home with him
Something is going on … ask him to talk to you
Who’s the parent here? Only 10 years old? Cps is going to tell you to drag his ass there kicking and screaming. Call a police officer. You need boundaries. Of course stay in regular contact with the school because there’s a reason he doesn’t want to, if something is going on there get him in somewhere else.
He is a special needs student refusing to go to school… what did the school do to warrant this? My son had SUCH a hard time with school, despite the fact that they knew he was special needs. They blamed him for everything. Told me it was his fault he had no friends and was being bullied because he was neurodivergent. We finally pulled him out and spent an entire summer looking for a better alternative… found one (a school specifically for kids with IEP’s, ADD, ADHD, autism, etc) and this year is a complete 180 with him. He loves it. He has friends, for the first time. He’s learning how to read. His teachers call me with positive updates. Instead of fighting your kid, try to find out exactly why he’s so against it.
How you gonna let a 10 year old dictate his own life? Come on now. Parents are way too soft these days.
What.school just wondering
Welcome to my world
My 15 yr old grand son is the same
And we have tried the same things
You have
I have even offered him $10 a week to go to school
But he won’t go
He has some anxiety
His mother and I am out of ideas
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I think the main thing is to get to the reason why. His actual reason. But have you considered homeschooling? There is such a huge uptick in homeschooling and I am one of the homeschooling parents. School is stressful. There are innumerable variables that influence your child daily and obviously some of them are having a negative impact. It’s not as hard as it sounds and there are a lot of online schools nowadays to make it very easy. Not all kids are one size fits all for a cookie cutter school system. Find what works for him. I don’t know your work situation, but you’re saying he’s refusing to go which means most likely that someone is home with him if he refuses. So if you’re going to be there anyway maybe look into homeschooling. Like I said there are so many online schools or online homeschooling supplements. From free to expensive and there are some really cool classes like coding, electronics building, game making as well as subscription boxes to all sorts of things that can help him hone his interests. It could really be the solution to mornings without fighting. Obviously he has to learn so if he still refusing to do anything when you try to homeschool him then that would be a different ball game. And like I said I do homeschool my child and we do get into plenty of arguments about what he has to do and unfortunately you have to be the bad guy sometimes but that’s life. Best of luck
More often than not, it’s down to bullying, not having any close friends or a combination of the two. My son didn’t like going to school either at the beginning of yr7. I soon found out why, so contacted the school and asked for advice. They have a group meet up during breaks to do fun things, board games, art, music etc. That helped him massively. He came out of his funk pretty much as soon as he started attending. Find out if his school has anything similar and don’t forget that some children will hardly ever confess to being bullied out of fear, so you need to address it calmly and tell him you’re there for him, and if he is being bullied you will sort it out with the school.
Who’s the parent and who’s the child?
Go to the school and see what’s going on
Therapist. Get to the deeper root of why. Theres always a reason .
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Home school. One of things about having kids is that you never know what you’re going to get, so you kinda gotta be prepared to home-school if you have to 
Have you tried offering rewards for when he does go to school?
What you mean you can’t physically make him go? Either you make him go or you go to jail. Pick your battle.
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Is he in an after school program? A dear friend was having horrific issues with his 9 year old in school! Violence with staff! Holds! Redirection room! Turns out he needed more parental attention! As soon as daddy started picking him up after school, no going to an after school program, his entire demeanor changed! Prior to this, the school was looking to move him to a psychiatric school that would medicate him! Wasn’t necessary! Just needed some good old fashioned attention! Good luck!
Who’s the parent here? You take him everyday. That’s your job. There is no “I can’t take it anymore”. Unless you want someone else to raise him you don’t stop being his mom.
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He may have a bully issue
I had this issue with my son when he was 13.
I got dragged into court for his truancy.
I spoke to the judge and he suggested CPS. He told me they help parents as well.
And they helped me!
We tried a truancy program through CPS, as well as counseling. A truancy officer would come pick him up and drive him to school. There was no cruelty, they understood it was not a bad behavior issue. Later that year he was diagnosed with Asperger’s.
I couldn’t have done it all without the help. I was a single working mom.
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Ask him why he doesn’t want to go. He may be having problems with other students or teachers even.
My now 13 year old absolutely refused school. He was diagnosed with autism at age 5. It wasn’t so bad until he got into middle school. Then the refusing to even go started then. I was at a lost on what to do. So I spoke with his dr and she asked him if he would like to talk with someone other than her or mom. He said yes. So made him an appt with the therapist. He goes once a month and changed a few of his meds around. What happens in therapy? I’m not sure. I let him go by himself while I wait in the waiting room. So now me and his therapist communicate on what happens if it’s something I can do to help fix it. Anything else stays between them. He still has his days, but it’s definitely easier to redirect him. Having a routine definitely helps. Good Luck Mama! 
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What’s REALLY going on that he doesn’t want to go?
Give him space, and find out if he is being bullied. Obviously something is going on at school.
BULLSH!T! You can make his azz go. I’m so happy my mama let us know early on who the boss was. We gave her no bs we got up even when she was at work at 5 every morning we got up on our own and got to school on time perfect attendance every year. Y’all need to put y’all kids in their place as toddlers so they don’t try the bs when they’re 10. Stop being nice sweet and meek be the parent
Lord what’s happened to our kids. We didn’t have all this mental and medical stuff in our day. What’s wrong is children are smarter than we know. They can play any role and get away with it. We are so quick to diagnose them, throw them on medication to zone them out, pity and feel sorry for them, instead of making them learn to deal with life and society. We let everyone take so much out of school and workplaces, Nobody Is normal anymore, and everything is so allowed. Just find out that’s it’s not bullying and take the bully out of so, and get him back in school. We need to take phones, video games, TV, and all that away until the appropriate time. Get these kids outside to run and play and get dirty, even if we have to be there to watch. Socialize in person and not behind a screen, stop pitying them, we never had all these government made up symptoms and let your children be normal. Put your foot down, tag a tail every once in awhile and show who’s boss. I’m nearly 60 and worked in the medical field forever and the stuff I’ve seen is ridiculous. Stop letting them put all these shots and drugs in your baby soon as it’s born. Give it a chance to be normal abit before Hep B and other things. You have that right as the parent. They got plenty of time to get certain shots before they start school. Start taking your kids back. Be the parent, not the best friend, at least till their adults. They need your guidance, they need God, and they need you.
You can get in trouble if your kid doesn’t go to school. Maybe bring a cop by the house to show him. Unfortunately going to school isn’t up for debate.
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What ever decide to do
Consistently do it . Children with autism need structure and stability
Regular schedule and routine
Maybe something is that bad at school for him , get a physiologist to assess him while at school. When we did this the psychologist reported the teacher and kids were picking on my son so we removed him and I have not had same problem again at a new school
For thr love of EVERYTHING imaginable HOMESCHOOL that baby!!! DO NOT send him to school!!!
I would consult your doctor and therapist. If this child has anxiety and autism they are not going to respond to typical parenting measures. You need specialized support specifically tailored to your child. I would get off the online mommy pages because you’re going to get a lot of advice that isn’t going to work. Work on getting an IEP from the school, you don’t need a diagnosis to begin the process. Also request a functional behavioral assessment and a behavior intervention plan.
All these comments are well and good but don’t you think it’s beneficial to find out WHY he doesn’t want to go to school?
Can you speak with an inclusion officer and guidance officer at school and ask them if they have any suggestions? I think consequences aren’t going to be key to resolving this, esp if you suspect ASD. My daughter was having some pretty major issues at school that resulted in refusals and distress in the mornings. It was awful because I didn’t want to make matters worse but the school inclusion officer was great, we would go in right before start bell and go to the inclusion office where we met with them. They’d engage her to help alleviate some of the stress in that moment and could generally be ready to say goodbye to me and off to class within about half an hour. By that stage kids were settled in to lessons so it was a quieter transition to the morning. That staff member was then able to stay in the classroom for a little while for support and then leave. If class was a total no go, they could take them to a different room and work on things there until lunch. Just the added options seemed to be enough at that time that I could coax her in to the car and off to school without a total meltdown. Being slow to start the day is better than dragging a kid to the car and amplifying their emotions because by that stage theyre not going to take anything in for the morning anyway.
My 14 tr old refused to go to school and now she is homeschool
Why can’t you physically force him…?
And why is having autism being used as an excuse. Because it’s not.
lol u cant physically force him? yes the fuck u can🙃 put his ass in tjw car take him to school drop him off at the office and ur done. ur the parent MAKE him
I hated school cause it was not a challenge… maybe it,s boring
Why would u not home school. If he goes he’s not going to learn for he will be so unhappy
Deffo homeschool or look for a special educational school instead that school is obviously not right for your child and the child is showing this… sending hugs for you burnt out mummy xxx
Tell him flat out he doesn’t have a choice in the matter, if he doesn’t go to school YOU (as in parents) can get arrested and or in trouble. School is apart of life and everyone has to go.
My child is also diagnosed with autism. Does your son have an IEP? A para?
Did you ask him why he doesn’t want to go? Is he dealing with a bully?? Maybe start a rewards sticker chart… he gets a sticker for each day he doesn’t complain about going and at the end of the month (or weekly) you can reward him. If he gives you grief, don’t put a sicker for that day.
Talk to his pediatrician ASAP. I know you said you are waiting on a diagnoses… but keep pushing. It shouldnt take long to do so, but YOU ARE THE ADVOCATE… call again and again until you see results.
The amount of parent that say just physically take the child is actually shocking… did u you know if you pick up… pull grab push your child and your seen doing it its classes as child abuse by social serv8ces so no you can’t physically take your child to school or anywhere especially a special needs child who is having a meltdown/episode
Wait what …you have a DISABLED kid and you are just what…making his life hell!!! Instead of finding out what is wrong and getting him accomodations!!!
W.T.F.
I hate people
I would never ask for advice from strangers on the internet. The amount of people in this comment section that don’t understand Autism is really sad. Educate yourselves.
Ur son could be experiencing anxiety plse don’t force him take him to a psychiatrist
Have you considered doing public school at home on the computer online? There are schools out there like K12 or Connections acadmey that send you everything you need and it’s free and very nice for kids who have anxiety or outright just don’t want to go to public school.
Why he doesn’t like to go to school?bullies,do not understand school lesson?can not speak to teachers?Kids embarrassed of something?Or he just like to spend time with you for a whole day?
Umm what’s the ‘we can’t force him’?? This is why kids think they run the parents. Snatch his butt up. Put him in the car and take his butt to school. You need to PARENT him. There’s a lot of things in life he won’t want to do and sadly you won’t always be there to pick up the pieces.
Also, unless you plan on homeschooling him you not forcing him to go to school is 100% illegal. Who’s going to care for him while you’re in jail for truancy?? The state? Foster care?
Sounds like both of yall are going to end up learning a hard lesson.
Federal IDEA funds PTI (parent training, and information center) - each state has a PTI offering free information & referral- find yours here : https://www.parentcenterhub.org/
Please home school him! The years of trying to force my son to go to school were hell. The school was absolutely no help and kept threatening to call the police on me. The child study team refused to give him an IEP even though he was diagnosed with Autism! He cried at one meeting and said to the team “why won’t you help me?” And still nothing. After he had to be hospitalized for being suicidal they finally gave him an IEP but refused to send him out of district. By this point he was afraid of school and just stopped going. When he turned 16 the school dropped him from their rolls.
Please don’t let it get to this point!
If he has autism, maybe talk to school about doing half days? Or even a few days a week. Where I’m from we have a school in the middle of our 4 county’s that combine all kids that have Autism, or behavioral issues if they meet certain criteria like an iep and dr diagnosis. They’re smaller classes, more 1:1, and work with speech devices as well.
You said " I can’t do it anymore " twice! Man, I’ve been in your shoes girl. You can do more 
And YES, you can FORSE him.
You are the parent. You can absolutely make him go.
Hes 10. Youre the adult. Its the law.
Wait, you allow him to run you by not going to school? I would have him talk to law enforcement maybe he needs a good scare. That’s so weird that the child is the ruler of the home
Maybe homeschool him if you can?
Also, my 5yr old already hates school (well drop off/getting up early)but oh well. I’m a single mom and work full time, I don’t have the option or the extra time to homeschool her. I always tell her after school we will go to the park or a treat afterwards, that gives her a little bit of motivation.
Then take him out of school. Boom
1 way or another u have 2 get him there because they’ll get u with truancy & there’s fines & jail time behind that & because ur the parent not him yes u can make him go…put ur foir down & make sure he had his meds it’s not worth the fines & jail time…remember ur the adult & the boss not him
You’re the parent make him go. Firm up and make him. I definitely wouldn’t put up with than nonsense
If he has autism, I would suggest half days for him. Also maybe see if he us being bullied, either by a teacher(some do it and may not be aware that they are) or another student in the same grade or maybe higher. I hated going to school when I was that age and for me it was due to getting bullied by half the school and at least 2 teachers
As that kid this broke my heart to read (and to read some of the comments as well). When I did go to school, I spent a good amount of time with the guidance counselor there who provided me with a space space to talk through things I wasn’t able to with my parents. Could you try looking into the resources some other folks mentioned, like a para? Changing schools may help, but I know that’s not feasible for everyone. Traditional school wasn’t a good fit for me, and browbeating kids isnt going to force a good fit either. Good luck <3
I’ve been through an extremely similiar situation and successfully come out the other end. If you would like to talk to me your more then welcome to private msg me, our circumstances are likely different but it could very well help you too. ((Sorry I don’t feel comfortable discussing it here).
I also completely understand that forcing them is not always an option, separation anxiety can be a very tricky thing and you don’t want to worsen his anxiety either, it’s hard to be there for everyone sometimes 
I force my kids to go lol ive even picked them up and put in car then picked her up again and put into the teachers arms and walked away she wasnt even properly dressed so i handed over her remaining clothes to put on so she didnt stay in pjs
My daughter is 5, in kindergarten and she tells me almost every day that she doesn’t want to go, and asks to stay home. Nope. I make her get her ass on that bus. She is adhd, I think severely adhd. Not diagnosed with autism, but I think her and I might be on the spectrum. You can absolutely make him go to school. He’s 10. He shouldn’t be the boss.
