My son is 10 years old and constantly refusing school. We take away his electronics, make him practice work when he doesn’t go, we’ve tried everything. Can’t physically force him obviously. I just can’t do it anymore😭I have absolutely no fight left in me…I don’t know what to do anymore…please does anyone have advice? He has separation anxiety and getting diagnosed with autism and we’re working with the school and of course he’s getting help but these fights every morning are just draining me. I can’t do it anymore
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Find new ways to make the Morning fun before school & then do a activity after like library or crafts may need a new way
Right there w you momma. My son is on the spectrum and has most recently been not wanting anything to do w going to school. We are always late by like ten minutes but I know half of it is me getting up on time. I have to dress him underwear and pants. While he lays there “sleeping”. The best thing and response I get is when I blow raspberries on his belly or back and he starts laughing. I also kiss him endlessly. It’s a slow process but I find I get a better response and somewhat faster. Xx
Autism Inclusivity would be a great group for this! They’re awesome
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We homeschool…. Not sure if that’s an option but might be worth it!
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Online virtual public school
I feel you. My daughter absolutely loved school until she started getting bullied a couple weeks ago… now every morning I go through this fight. Also my brother has autism and hates school. Do what you can, hang in there!
Is homeschooling an option?
You can force him. It’s the law. Don’t let him win be the parent. Have the school officer come talk to him if that’s what it takes…unless theres bullying or more to the story…
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Homeschool him or find an online school he enjoys
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Do HOMEBOUND School. He’s still in the school system but doing work at home. Be sure you have reliable internet. It worked well for our High schooler. He made good grades. You be sure to follow up. Encourage with rewards such a screen time and hangin with friends etc. You are able to log on to his account too keep track of his homework.
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Home school him. My youngest is the same way. Every year since 3rd grade I attempt to have him go in person and he just can’t do it. So, we switch back to home school.
Have you perhaps looked at homeschooling him? I have two kids on the spectrum. This has helped them and our family so much. Sometimes one just needs to pick your battles. 
Stay strong:tulip:
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I would be having a hard conversation with him. He’s 10, his choices are mainly made by you at that age. If you let him not go he’s going to continue to act this way because he knows it works. Schools are made to handle children who don’t like school. Even if you have to drop him off kicking and screaming the resource officers can help you. (Assuming your child’s school has a officer)
Our school has amazing teachers and admin staff. Our resource officer has helped so many children who have the same feeling towards school. So don’t think because he’s a cop he has to treat them like their bad. Most know it’s just a learning curve and a lot of kids really do have these problems. Ask for help! Ask your school behavior analyst or guidance counselor to grab him and take him for a break and build that relationship to where he may open up and tell them why he really doesn’t like school…
Good luck!!
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Homeschooling…I just started homeschooling my 11 year old and she LOVES it so much!
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You are the parent and you absolutely can force him to go to school. My daughter went through something similar in 2nd grade. I would drop her off at school and have a para meet her and talk with her as they walked to class. She also met with the school psychologist to work out her anxiety issues.
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Find out why or what going on asap
Huh. You are the parent. March his booty to school! You allowing him to skip school is only enabling his behavior. You stated that you cannot force him? Oh yes you can. He is 10! Time to step up a put the hammer down.
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Virtual school is a thing…
Therapy my 7 year old has autism also talk with him he might be being bullied last year my son came home with huge scrapes on his knees another kid pushed him he didn’t want to go either I had to force it this year we are doing online school
Home schooling works well for many. Have you considered it?
If it’s possible for you to homeschool, that’s a potential solution.
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Bullying could be an issue.
Sometimes our children are afraid to discuss the issue with parents or other adults.
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I would look into another school. There is something awful happening when he is at that school that is putting the fear in him. I would pull him immediately.
When my oldest was in grade 3 he didn’t want to go to school.he’d go inside to bathroom right before his bus came so he’d miss it and if I walked him he’d fight me and not walk or move or I’d get him to school and he’d have an accident so I’d have to bring him home I’d ask why but he didn’t say anything for abit eventually he told us it was because he was being bullied
He very well maybe to the point of burn out. Some Autistic kids can get to this point especially if they have been masking in their environment. I would definitely speak to a neuro affirming therapist to help your son.
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I would homeschool. Learning should be loved not a fight.
My son has extreme anxiety. I homeschool him mainly for this reason
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Go to school with your kid and sit and observe
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Home School
A tutor
Maybe he would do better at home being schooled and they have all kinds of social curriculum as well so he will be able to mingle with other children plus learn…
I would be slightly concerned about the school environment he’s in. My son was at a school that was not good for him and he hated to go to school and he cried a lot. Now he’s in Middle School at a very good school tailored to him and his needs and he loves going to school.
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I would suggest therapy. I have absolutely been there with my daughter. She was not only suffering extreme separation and social anxiety, she was being bullied. Please don’t assume it is just behavioral.
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My daughter wouldn’t want to go to school if she had to wear a color she didn’t like. I would have to carry her limp noodle body on the bus…
Is someone picking on him or bullying him? I’d talk to the principal, all of the teachers that teach him, and the school counselor. Find out the root of the problem, cuz I will bet there is one. Best of luck!!!
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What is happening there at school that he doesn’t want to deal with? My son did this last year and it was because he was dealing with a classmate that was bullying and constantly threw racial comments at him and his friend. When I finally got him to talk to me and I found out, i wrote a note to the teacher and then went straight to the office to get this taken care of. My son was so irked by this one kid he was willing to sacrifice his education, and i was not a happy mama that day. He hasn’t had a problem since. But maybe, with yours being diagnosed with autism and also having the anxiety, consider the K12 program. Its home schooling basically. Not sure if you’re able to if you work during the day, but if your home employees or SAH this may be an option to look into? At least that way he’s comfortable and also getting in his learning, and you aren’t stressed every morning fighting to get him out the door. And if I’m right that specific program teaches at their pace, so it’s not like a classroom where they have to cram so much I to a semester that it’s basically keep up or fall behind.
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I know exactly how you feel, our daughter, now 22, did the exact same thing, many many test later, it’s very well hidden , sever anxiety, it was literally making her sick. Keep investigating.
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We were having the same issue after being homeschooled by me for 3 years but we came up with a points system and ive already noticed a BIG DIFFERENCE!!! Not everyday is perfect but we have a conversation and the next is almost “perfect” and i say almost because nothing is actually perfect!
I hope this helps!!! Every 5 points = 15 mins of electronics!
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Put him in the car and drive him to the school.
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Yes you can physically force him, your the parent!!! Guess youll change your mind once your in jail.
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We had a difficult time with 2 of our 4 kiddos not wanting to go to school. The school staff helped tremendously. They helped find ways to make it work for our kiddos - Making school more fun, giving them daily routine tasks, bribing them with a treat at the end of the school week using a point system, helped them so they could express themselves properly bc they would just shut down rather than express how they were feeling and they would show them how to express their feelings in a more appropriate manner, just to name a few… I will say that it was really hard at the beginning bc our kids went to a different school and the staff just wasn’t as equipped with the skills/knowledge as the staff is at their current school. I would talk to your kids principal and see if anything can be arranged to accommodate your child. IEP, SPEC.ED, ect…
Good luck mama 
That’s the thing you can force him…YOU are the parent not him
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Definitely a reason why your son don’t want go school I home school I am special need mom myself it difficult we all understand too many bullies in school everywhere can’t trust people good luck everything
You should probably have a conversation with him and see if he’s being bullied sometimes kids are reluctant to share the info out of fear.
My son was being bullied last year he missed 22 days because he was afraid I didn’t find till later when he had a little mental break down and I got him a therapist and addressed the situation with his school staff.
It’s worth a shot to get to the bottom of it because the worst thing is to know this is happening to your child and you don’t know anything.
Good luck mama!
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My son is the same, he is almost 9. Some days are better than others. My son hates school, he is on a IEP and I believe he has ADHD but hasn’t been diagnosed. (Runs in the family) but he has little friends at school, and says it’s super hard and unfortunately in this state it’s next to impossible to get any GOOD help with his learning curve. I’m sorry your going through this, your not alone.
Might be a bullying situation going on or he may not feel like he fits in or may even be bored. I would talk with his teacher and maybe even have them watch him the next few days to maybe be able to shed some light on this particular situation and together have a plan moving forward. And if u can and able maybe volunteer to be a classroom visitor or assistant for one day a week if possible.
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Once he gets diagnosed, you can check your area for austism specialty schools. My sister has trouble with her son not wanting to go, but its usually on field trips that he thinks will bore him. I think the autism schools probably have a tuition. Seeing as you can get in trouble for a kid who misses school, I would try everything everybody has suggested that seems good. Like talking to a therapist and seeing if there is a deeper issue.
First thing you got to ask is why? If he is “ diagnosed “ having such disabilities- you need to seek assistance from your “professional team.” They can give you sound advice, instead of seeking help from strangers. Each Child is different- yes similar but never the same. I’ve had a career as a Special Education instructor/ administrator- trust and believe if you are having problems- go to the professionals. He is very young and needs all the proper intervention- childhood is brief - and we all seek the very best life for our youth - go to the people who KNOW:v:t4:
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Is he being bullied? There is a reason he don’t want to go. My son is disabled and he loved school. I would definitely do some investigating.
You 100% can physically force him. You are his parent. Good lord.
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You absolutely can physically force him!!! Stop letting your kid rule you!!! Your the parent!!!
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Have you tried home schooling. I was like this also I didn’t fight but I would cry every time I had to go I believe I had some type of separation anxiety I still don’t like to leave home for work. I throw a fit too LOL but no really maybe there’s a reason and they’re not gonna talk about it with you. Sometimes you have to give up the battle and figure alternatives out. Not everybody fits in not everybody feels the same about school. Could be the classrooms are too big. Could be that somebody is not very nice to Your child could be your child doesn’t want to leave your home. You’re not a failure if you try everything and home schooling might be the thing
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I cant believe the amount of non empathetic remarks … ASD is a social anxiety disorder and it puts a huge amount of trauma on the child … forcing them to go is doing more harm. Also since lockdown there unfortunately is more bullying especially at children with ASD . I would home school for his wellbeing .
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Is there a way to do online for him with the school? When covid began our school was supposed to help kids who were home sick etc so they don’t miss classes. All a teacher has to do his open up their laptop and send a link for kids to link in to and hear everything. Never happened but it’s a great idea.
I had same problem with my youngest son he had separation anxiety. We had to fight with him every day to get him to go to school. Well come to find out. What it was there was kids bullying him and beating him up on daily basis all because he is a red head and looks different . I ended up pulling him out of school and putting him online schooling. It worked really well for us. No one at the school would stop these kids . My son ended up with 2 sets of stitches and black eyes. They push him into the bathroom sink he hit his ear . Then they trip him he fell onto the bench at lunch spilt his lip .
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Yaaa I tried that when I was his age an they had a truancy officer come out an get me let him know they will also send u to court for it an you both will be in trouble.
And to follow up for everyone saying to force their child and to drop them off kicking and screaming, I understand that sometimes children have ODD and there will be fighting an obstinence regardless. But to blatantly ignore your child crying out to you that they don’t feel comfortable somewhere is a bigger problem. I think before you just drop them off and tell them to suck it up, getting to the route of the why is imperative. Could be bullying, could be he’s a child with a different learning style, could be social anxiety, could be abuse by a staff member, could be a psychological condition or depression, but if you cry out to your parent that there’s a problem and the parent ignores what you’re saying and continues to force you into a situation you’re going to number one stop trusting your parent and number two start looking to solve your problems yourself which as an adolescent will very rarely be the right choice. So sometimes you have to put your kids into situations they don’t want to be in but before you take that road definitely rule out all of the causes. And like I said in the other comment just remember that school is not the only way to learn. There’s online school and homeschooling and private school. These are options for a reason because not every kid is meant to be in the same situation. As adults we forget that we throw all these kids into a group just based on the fact they were born the same year and they’re supposed to learn the same way do the same things and have the same experiences. But as adults if you were to come try to work a day in my job as a nurse, so many people wouldn’t last an hour. The same way that I probably couldn’t stand doing half of your jobs and I’d probably be incapable of most of them. We are all different and it’s important to keep basic standards of learning but lean into our uniqueness and respect boundaries. Definitely don’t let your kids walk all over you. They have to get their education and learn. They can’t refuse to do anything and they shouldn’t get their way by throwing a fit. But there is a plethora of ways to educate your child that might be more suitable for that kid in particular.
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You can absolutely physically force him… you’re the parent. You make the decisions.
That being said. Is there a reason he doesn’t want to go? Maybe a reason he doesn’t want to share? I would definitely talk to him heart to heart. Maybe a different school would be better?
Bottom line though (this is what I would say to my own child) you have to go to school. It’s against the law not too. I want the absolute best for you. I love you. We will figure this out.
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My son refuses to go to school and I found out he was being bullied and was physically choked out by the bully 
we ended up putting him in another class and I found out the bully was being sent to a therapist.
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Better figure something out because cps will come after you for him not being in school or too many absences it happened to my friend and they actually took her daughter away from her
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My grand-daughter did the same thing.
She has mild autism. Brought her to a therapist after several failed meetings with school. We learned after a few sessions she was being bullied but not by another student it was a staff member picking on her. With the Board of Educations help we were able to get her transferred to a different school. Children refuse for all different reasons, something is upsetting the child to not want to go to school.
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Is home schooling an option ?
I’m sure you have talked to him already but talk to him again from a different point of view. Ask him why. It could be the work is too hard. It could be an issue with peers or teachers. My 6 yr old is giving me a really hard time this yr and she just keeps saying “the work is too hard” and she’s having a lot of social issues too so it helps if you can pin point the main reason
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There must be a reason he won’t go. You need to get to the bottom of it. Maybe he’s being g bullied?
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There’s a reason why he doesn’t want to go to school. It’s obvious do your diligint research and figure out why.
Autism or not there has to be a reason he doesn’t want to go whatever it is you need to figure it out … Maybe it’s the school staff or maybe he’s being bullied I would get to the bottom of it sooner than later
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Maybe he’s getting bullied, there’s probably a reason behind him not wanting to go.
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Try and find out whats happening at school that is so terrifying?? Hes trying to tell you something isnt happy there
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You are capable of doing much more than you can even Imagine……with the help of God. Ask Him in the name of the Son “Jesus Christ,” be patient and have faith and God will hear your plea. That’s His promise.
In the same boat. My son is 9, suspected autism, I’ve gotten letters of them complaining how much school he’s missed. sigh unfortunately homeschool is not an option in MANY people’s lives with this day and age. So following for suggestions other then homeschool lol. And the whole “physically make him” doesn’t work. I can’t hoist him up and carry him to his bus stop 
kids almost my as tall as me and weighs much more then I can lift. And we live in an upstairs apartment so that isn’t working lmao
He’s 10. Take him to school 
you’re the parent
In the meantime try and figure out why he hates school so much
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Home school him. Continue to investigate why he doesn’t want to go, but until then homeschool so he doesn’t fall behind. Include opportunities for him to have social interaction and field trips. There are community home school groups and some might include tips for children with autism.
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This post is ridiculous to me…you are the parent. You are supposed to make the decisions not the child
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Quit taking away things if you have no reason for him not wanting to go. He’s 10, is this the first year for this…
THERE IS A VALID.REASON WHY HE DOESNT WANT TO BE THERE!!! FIND OUT WHAT IT IS!!!
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Homeschool him there is a reason he doesn’t want to go .schools are bad these days.
I’d try to figure out why! Why does it hate it so much that he’s refusing. There is a reason, may not be a very good reason or it’s something serious that he may not want to talk about…get to the root of the problem, and don’t punish him for it bc it could make it all worse in the end
Have a police office show up. NOT threatening him but explaining truancy and things . Sometimes just the presence of authority who is also kind helps
Do you know why he doesn’t want to go to school? Have you tried talking to him instead of just punishing him? Mental health is serious, he shouldn’t be getting punished he should be getting better help. Poor kid.
Some of these questions amaze me. How does a 10 year old refuse to go to school.
Don’t bother fighting I had the same with my daughter but she didn’t have any issues (sorry if not correct term) but I had the school on board if she refused then she learnt the hard way no tv no going out no phone and house jobs and learning what the school sent home if she wouldn’t go believe me I turned from mum into sergeant major it’s hard but if u don’t stand your ground it will get worse but like I said with my daughter it was different also I know at my granddaughters school with kids that refuse or parents that can’t be arsed they go pick them up maybe if someone from the school could do that then maybe he might see it differently than trying it on with u x
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Call his Pediatrician. Call a therapist. See if they will do a home visit. I’m sorry. 
Praying it all works out. Also, does he love Policemen or Fire Fighters? Maybe they could come talk to him in person.
((Hugs)) 
I homeschool because of this reason plus my children always come home sick from public schools
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My son did that when he was younger. I found out he was being bullied.
You have to do what you have to do that’s what’s mother’s are for.
Join the school refusal page much more helpful comments … More understanding 
Can you get him in the car? We have a number of students who have assistance at school to attend lessons. They are getting help outside school, the parents and students need help in the school. There has to be a reason he doesn’t want to miss out, and then assistance to get to class once he arrives. COVID has a lot to answer for, a rise in anxiety is one of issues.
I tell my son I’ll go to jail if he doesn’t go because it’s against the law and that’s is called education abuse and it really is legally.
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Sounds like bullying or teaching is not the style the child needs to grow. Explore different schools
Also those saying force the child? Please explain how to get a child who is almost your size and weighs more then you can lift to school? Lol
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Have you tried to get to the root of the issue? Is he being bullied? Are the teachers being assholes? Has he always had this issue or just all of a sudden. Try talking to him before punishing him. And he’s autistic and you’re punishing him for this? There’s better solutions.
Ask the school abt a homeschool program. Stressing everybody out won’t help him learn anything. Many states offer satellite learning if their are medical issues.
Meet with his principal, teacher & counselor. Talk to his therapist if he has one.
It’s pretty much online schooling. He’ll have goals to hit by end of year but it can be self paced.
If you have no therapist, I highly suggest it. They can help you. 
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I don’t know if you work so I’m going to suggest this with the assumption you don’t since you mentioned him staying home. For a couple of days go to school with him. Sit at the back of the class and leave the room once in awhile for a bit. He’ll be able to see you and when you leave and come back he’ll know you’re always close by.
Have you considered homeschooling? My son is incredibly smart but doesn’t do well in the public school setting yet he flourishes in homeschooling and is way ahead of where he would be in public school, every child learns differently and has specific needs that public school just can’t meet, and there’s so many other homeschoolers around us that there’s plenty of opportunities to socialize with other kids, I’m so glad we went into homeschooling otherwise it was a daily headache trying to do the public thing, it’s just not for everyone
Homeschool if possible. Public school is usually hell. They don’t learn much there anyway. All I retained from public school was trauma. Everything I ever learned was from homeschooling.
Call your school resource officer or local police department, explain your problem. They should be able to send an officer every morning to deliver them to school
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There may be other reasons he doesn’t want to go. He could be getting bullied and the kids could be mean to him. My daughter is 12 and she is autistic and has adhd and she trys to fight to go to school. She was being picked on because she’s ‘different’ as the other kids tell her. Her principal is amazing and he’s talked to her about what happens to the parents when the kids don’t go to school. It’s not 100% but it has helped alot. Maybe have his principal explain Truancy to him. It’s scary yes but it might help.
What do you mean you can’t make him? He’s 10, you absolutely make him go. You’re gonna be the one in jail because you can’t parent your child
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I would suggest homeschooling. Look for resources for him online and through his doctors. He does need to see a dr, maybe a psychiatrist to have tests done to rule things in or out. Once diagnosed, he will receive help through this difficult time. Tell him that if he stays home, he will have to still do school at home. It is the law that children need to be schooled; let him know this.
Maybe there’s a reason why he doesn’t want to go. My 6 year old did the same and what we found out was happening was terrible.
Why can’t you physically force him? Pick him up put him in the car and take him
A lot of this started from the Covid BS