Anonymous…Help! My seven, almost eight-year-old son is so disrespectful and mean. I just can’t take it anymore! He flat out will not listen to me once dad is out of sight. I tell him to do anything, and he yells at me that he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to, I tell him he’s gonna lose his electronics, then he tells me I’m the worst mom ever, and he hates me. I take electronics away. He doesn’t care. He’ll say it’s because I hate him. He mocks me; he thinks it’s funny; just this morning, I told him to get his shoes on for school, so he mmmm ehhh at me and doesn’t do it; I say he again, and he yells at me I’m going. He’s mean to his little sisters (5 and 2) to the point I don’t like them even playing alone because I’m afraid of what he might do. He is in counseling in and out of school. We use to spank that does nothing, so we do time out that does nothing. He just doesn’t care. He’s diagnosed with ADHD and takes Ritalin. He is out of control; I can’t really put it into words that the best I can do. I am at my wit’s end…
Take all his toys away and he can have one toy back each time he does something good and out of his norm, if he regress they all get taken away again
My son is 11 all most 12 an is the same way he has ADHD as well an he takes intuitive/Guanfacine same name just one is generic ones not an that has helped so much with his attitude and sports has a big big difference in his attitude as well he’s all so on an IEP for school my sons school has a behavior program and that’s what my son attends
Standing in the corner. I still do that to great grandchildren. Actually works.
Get him off the Ritalin ASAP. I was on it at his age and I can tell you know good comes from it. It will change the way he will be when he is older. I deal with the problems from it everyday. It’s not good. I wouldn’t put my own worst enemy on it.
All you have to provide is a mattress, a change of clothes, a roof over his head and food. Everything else can go, including bed frame, dresser and bedroom door.
His dad needs to have a talk with him and he needs to be the one to remove all the extras from his room. He also needs to tell him when he can respect you and listen to you then he will receive these items back.
Try different ADHD meds. Sounds alittle like Oppositional defiant disorder
Have you tried different medications? My son has adhd/Asperger and recently turned 18, we had to try a few before we found the right one. Ritalin was not good for him at all. It’s similar to what you’re experiencing.
Also children on the spectrum can take everything you say quite literally and hold onto it, if he feels you hate him maybe try and find out why? Reassure them you don’t and love him in a calm manner it’s easier said than done when you’re at your wits end but it will help.
Something is wrong. Talk to the doctor
Stick to your discipline… and his dad needs to enforce it and let him know what punishments there will be for disrespecting mom.
How is the medicine if he behaves for his father but not his mother?? Mom has done something different than dad…possibly spoiled, or no consistent punishment, etc.
When you discipline make sure it is without emotion or reaction to his behavior. Make sure you have a simple set of rules and stick to that. When he misbehaves, let him know he has disappointed you. Don’t get angry. Follow through with the consequences. Help him feel that you are his ally and that the consequences are his choice. Also, make sure to find plenty of opportunities to praise him.
How does your husband treat you in front of him?
United front from parents. In my experience with my friend’s son and my nephews this is a learned behavior. Machoism at it’s best. Does the father talk down to the mother and treat her like a doormat? My friend’s son and my nephews have seen this from their own fathers and how they treat their mother and other girls.
When they’re with me, they know I don’t play. Both my husband and I expect respect for myself and other girls. We actually sit and talk with them and show them this is bad behavior and should be treated as such.
They want to defy me, there will be consequences. No games, toys, or treats. They can sit while the other kids enjoy fun. Then they give in, apologize, and we have a good conversation.
It’s not easy, but you have to keep on it. My son was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age. He’s 12 now, respectful, loving, and great grades. He has never been medicated.
It’s time for dad to take him somewhere and sit him down and have a good loving but Stearns talking to him about hiw he is and has been treating his mother and his siblings and dad needs to lay down the law that if its coming from mommy then it’s coming from him as well he then needs to explain to him that he will be starting off by taking away the things he likes the most and what he likes to do also I would talk to dr about medicine adjustments being done but my first question would have to be does he see or hear your husband disrespecting you does your husband yell at you or act rudely towards you for say if asked to take out trash does he snap back hastily if so maybe he is repeating what he is seeing and hearing it sounds to me like he fears dad will follow through with what he says and he has learned how to play you to a certain degree my almost 10 year old is the testy one with me the 11 year old listens to me but not dad we are working on reinforcing that issue now as we try to battle my 10 year old well she will be 10 Thursday she has adhd as well but not medicated for it I refuse it doesn’t interfere with school and sports lord sports is a great outlet for some of the energy these kids have I keep her busy to the point she literally has no time to get into trouble lol
If he likes this on ritalin take him off them… sometimes medication isn’t the correct therapy. Speaking from experience. Those adhd meds are a NIGHTMARE.
Do not give him any electronics - none ! Change the password on your phone- literally one hour of TV a day - and watch his sugar intake - he is only 7 now so now is the time to get really tough or you will be in a way worse situation in a few years ! And don’t make idle threats- follow through with consequences everytime even if it means abandoning your shopping cart and heading home !
He may need a med change. Sounds like he also could have ODD as well…Sometimes they go hand in hand with one another.
Sounds like he needs an old time a** whopping. It’s not for every child but some children benefit from it.
My son did the same at that age now he is a teenager and it doesn’t get easier with it He is also in counciling twice a week and once a week in a group one with other children like him and of course I am in the same so I know how to work with him and it helps so much the thing is he had to do the work and every step to help him. One when he gets up set tell him to breathe in and out then ask him why is he upset then say if you do then we can do something else once he does just that one thing then praise him for it a high five or good job with thumbs up every child is different so don’t compare them yes he can’t stay in the room with the other children at all and it’s hard when you need to do something its not easy just remember to put the other two in a different room do what you have to and come back Also do one task at a time and in between take breaks that will help same with school ask them if there is a way that he can do school work then take a break and then go back sitting is not their thing and a time limit to everything five or ten minutes do something else you will be tired yet it helps so much some medicine can help yet it also makes them not do too much keep that in mind sorry if this is out of sorts when he is upset tell him to put water on his wrist or face or neck that helps as well have things that helps him to calm down anything with food to favorite toys to activity and a smell that he likes just make sure they have a school something similar you pack it and put in his bookbag that will help I don’t know if you do this nothing red in it will help it makes them more hyper which is not good so try to avoid it you want to avoid him to be come more upset then he is already so this helps as long you stick with it you will see a difference when homework let him know to do just a little then take a break then go back and do the work
YARD WORK & EXERCISE… move rocks from one side of yard to the other, dig a hole, pull weeds by hand… push ups… burpees (push up then stand up and put hands in the air then back down to a push up) run in place, run laps, jumping jacks, sit ups…
I have my kids mix up the exercises… give water and breaks when needed… when they are done they don’t have the energy to be so disrespectful or mean…
Try Strattera. It’s the only one that’s not a stimulant and helps kids with oppositional defiant disorder too. My son was this way. It eventually got better, but took a lot of forbearance, and he refused the medicine. His dad said, OK, as long as your grades are good (you decide what constitutes good), he didn’t have to take it, but if they dipped, back on the meds. Your son might like a challenge just to prove something and give him the satisfaction of success. Catch him doing things right as much as you can, no matter how little it is. These kids hate being the way they are and always being in trouble, but their impulse control is so minimal.
Having a “chore chart” with behavior issues on it where he can earn gold stars helped too: getting dressed/brushing teeth/taking a bath/eating dinner/riding in the car “WITHOUT A FUSS” or whatever things you want him to do. For X number of gold stars per day, then per week (be realistic, he’s not going to accomplish them all) gets a reward: choose what’s for dinner, a family movie, pick the family fun activity (walk, board game, bike ride, tossing a ball, going to a museum, whatever.
Have a similar list for your other child but maybe put other things that are hard for her so she doesn’t always get the most gold stars every day/week. And include chores like picking up toys, putting laundry in a basket—whatever else is age-appropriate for each. Bonus points if you include you & dad on the chart. If everyone gets all the gold stars all week, do something special. Don’t use food (especially sweets) as a reward.
Karate or another martial art might help too. My son was jealous of his sister and mean to her, so his first task at the dojo was to make sure his little sister learned the mantra/pledge for him to get his first belt. Genius!
Have a strict schedule every day. If your son can get things into “muscle memory,” know what’s next, and almost do things without thinking, the better. Transitions are hard. Provide lots of advance warning and reminders if there’s going to be a change of plans or routine. (I have ADHD too & this works for me). Also lists, charts, and diagrams openly displayed—anything visual helps as a constant reminder. I describe it as having to “pound things into my head.” Have set times for everything and as little “down” time between activities. They can be different each day but be consistent, for example, wake up during the week is at 7 a.m., breakfast is 7:30, weekends it’s 9:30 and 10:00.
Also, rotate toys and clothes so the choices are fewer and less overwhelming, but the variety changes. I’m also very messy. I need to see everything out in front of me—literally “out of sight, out of mind”, so open shelving, labeled bins, wall organizers and a comforter I can just yank up to make my bed helps a lot. My (now adult) son copes by being a minimalist.
Be sure he gets as much vigorous exercise as is humanly possible. Mini trampoline, sports teams, swimming, gymnastics, riding a bike, if you live where doing so is safe. Play music and dance—mix up the eras and genres and teach him about the tunes while you’re all moving’ and groovin.’ Also moving meditation to calm down, like yoga & Tai Chi, especially if it’s geared to kids. Check out “Tai Chi Ch’ih: Joy Through Movement” video on You Tube with Carmen Brocklehurst. It’s really easy to do and remember, and Carmen is delightful and calming. It only takes 20-30 minutes, but just do whatever amount of time your son can manage, then build on that. It is really good for the mind and body health as well as being meditative and calming. Plus he can do it or just the breathing while visualizing the movement when he gets stressed. Can he have a stress ball to squeeze in class at school? Can the teacher give him something additional to do to help him focus in class? Maybe make him “scribe” and have him take notes and summarize the lessons for everyone.
My son found a lot of comfort in church too. Ritual, absolutes, and the promise of being loved and forgiven unconditionally, no matter what, seemed to help him, and gave him opportunities to shine (leadership, acolyting, readings). Sports and scouts were good for him too, and gave us a break while other grown ups dealt with him for the most part. Also being able to just run around and be a kid without any rules sometimes gave my son joy (playgrounds, water parks, running and rolling in a grassy area, running the bases on a baseball field when there’s no game, bumper cars or go-karts.
Be sure he is challenged by school work as he may be very smart. Homework was an hour of his complaining to 5 minutes of work. Hubs and I alternated by continually refocusing him on the task while the other one took a walk to calm down or tended to the other child to keep from exploding in anger.
Good luck! As your son sees he CAN succeed, he’ll gain confidence and do better. You WILL live through this and life will get better. He WILL learn more and more coping strategies and be able to do more for himself, and he WILL mature mentally and emotionally as well as physically as time goes on.
My just turned 7 year old is the same way and she just got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and is on medicine I has made a huge difference still like this sometimes just not always like it was
Time to talk with his Dr. Beating him won’t change organic characteristics. It only builds resentment and deep sadness. Sounds like professional assistance is needed to help your family. Don’t give up. Always show him you love him. Praise for the good things he does no matter how little. Find his strengths. ADHA kids can get a “charge” in their system when they’re in trouble for not doing the right thing. The “charge”/stimulation feels good to them without them recognizing it. Then they get trapped in getting negative attention. Keep schedules and consequences consistant. But most of all love him. He owns his behavior. When he calms down ask him what he thinks his consequences should be. It’s suprising what kids come up with. Don’t spoil. Sometimes one on one helps to build the respect you both need. Best of luck. You can do this. 
I’d get serious with discipline. My sons adhd and sometimes it’s rough we avoid red food dye and when he acts up I put him to work so he’s to tired to act out. I’d also bust my sons butt but that’s me and it works I stick to my guns and my son knows it and his dad backs me up.
I’m in the same boat. My son is almost 5 and is mean to me. We do time outs, spanking, and taking toys away but nothing works. Hang in there mama hopefully it will get better.
Sounds like my son he’s 6 he has adhd and ODD which is oppositional defiance disorder he is very mean to my 2 yo for no reason he says things like he’s stupid and wants to die when he gets in trouble we recently found a med combo that works well he’s on intuniv and risperdol hope this helps
Ritalin is known for making kids super angry. No meds helped my daughter. Talk to the doctor and see about switching meds.
If he is well behaved with dad around it’s not the meds. It’s one of two things. He sees dad talking to mom this way and thinks this is how it works. Or two mom has kissed his ass and babied him and he knows what to do to get her to give in. . Now mom needs to make a rule chart. Set rules. Then set a spin wheele for a reward chart. When he does as hes told he gets to spin and get the reward it lands on. Use sugar free candy and cookies. Small $1 toys. Never reward with electronics. Have another spin wheele for punishments. When he disobeys have him spin and do not cave. If he flips out, take him gently and place him in time out (should always be the same spot) for 8 minutes if hes 8. Set a timer. Everytime he gets up put him back. Show no emotion, no eye contact, no speaking. Just put him back. This could take all day. Don’t cave. When he has sat the whole time talk calmly explaining why the behavior is bad. Ask if he understands. Ask why he acted that way. Limit all electronics to 1 hour a day including TV. Provide other things to do. Interact with him, play games etc. Remove foods with gluten and sugar. No caffeine. No red dyes. Keep a journal of what he did that day. Keep notes on what he ate. If he is seeing dad do these things. Get father to counseling to fix himself.
Ritalin and concerts made my son aggressive so I had him switched to Foclan (spelling?) And it helped a lot. Now he doesn’t need meds. But I’m wondering how the husband treats the mom in front of the child because even with ADHD, he wouldn’t act like that unless he sees it. Dad needs to back you up when your child disrespects you
Just needs a ass whopping and your husband needs back you.
My 8 year old is just like this we actually got an appointment for behavior management and autism coming up due to how bad its been most times they take depression out in anger ways even if they are from a good loving home they can still be depressed also parents need to stand together not sure about your household but some if the mom says no the dad will turn around and let them do it anyways and vise versa stand together if one says no then the other say no DO NOT GIVE IN NO MATTER WHAT!!! also maybe try a med change my daughter has been through adderall, Foclin, concerta and Ritilan the only things that has worked on her is concerta and ritilan she also takes a mood stabilizer (abilify) also make sure he sees good behavior also make sure you also reward for any and all good behavior. Good luck momma.
Take him off that medication it does nothing but harm, I’m sure there is something better, I use to have a cousin this way, when he was off that med he was much better
Also, work on being confident and assertive—no weakness or wavering. Your requests, and your voice should convey that this is an absolute with no negotiating possible, with a fierce look in your eye while staring into his, maybe touching him to ensure his attention. You ARE the Alpha female. You ARE badass.
Also, have your husband reinforce (constantly) that you are the equal authority whether he is home or not, and that he will be asking you for a report of how well he listened when he gets home. “What did your mother just tell you?” “What makes you think you can argue with your mother?” “Didn’t you hear what your mother said? She’s in charge here.”
Maybe he should live with dad
Have him tested for Autism, it often gets misdiagnosed as ADHD. And join the group Autism Inclusively on fb.
I agree tear his ass up one good time
I would say off the medication and as hard as it sounds …stick it out, and whilst some comments on here are persuading tougher punishments, I for one definitely dont. You’ve mentioned your child has ADHD, and others on here have said about odd which I’d recommend you look up. When a child has a co edition as such sometimes they cannot help thier behaviour. My son is 7 and has tourette’s syndrome, OCD, Adhd and spd …every day is difficult …its one rollercoaster to the next, I’ve found through all of it …what works best is compassion, or to ignore certain behaviour or make a joke of it. I know it’s hard believe me… but er on the side of caution and be very mindful of the effects medication can have on behaviour…much love
A belt across his ass a few times will change his attitude drastically.
Diet, exercise, strict schedule, consistency. Can all be helpful tools. A strict schedule (eating, bedtime, work time) can work wonders for kids with trouble transitioning, which is common with lots of behavioral issues.
Look at his diet. Food allergies can cause behavioral issues with kids. Artificial dyes especially
I suggest talking to his dr and changing his meds.
Dad needs to help enforce YOUR discipline, so the son knows dad is your partner in enforcing the rules and I would get a 2nd opinion on the Ritalin and adhd diagnosis.
If he eats crap, cleaning up that can help also, take away electronics anyway. Be firm with him, and discipline can work… don’t accept his bad mouth, be persistent and consistent in everything. If you say no mean no. No matter what he does to retaliate… routine day in day out. Only offer electronics if its necessary and if his attitude and chores have been done… never reward bad behaviour…
Don’t drug up your kids. Try CBD oils it helps with anxiety and lots of other things but it’s not a drug. You can get cbd 2without thc in it. Is he being bullied in school? Maybe left out? Are u favoring your other kids over him? Kids often act out for attention.
Spank. His. Ass. Sorry we don’t deal with disrespectful kids around here. Other moms are gonna be like “that’s child abuse” well Cindy at least my child listens. 
I totally feel your pain i have alot of the exact same issues. My first suggestion would be to see your pead about a medication adjustment my don was way worse on ritalin. It’s such a difficult road and i wouldn’t wish it Upon my worse enemy. Sending big hugs.
Oh and ritilan… I was on it. Take him off girl please. Find another adhd medication.
I feel you I go through the same thing our oldest is just like this he tells me we hate him and our youngest is our favorite but our youngest is completely the opposite he never gets in trouble and is very respectful makes me feel like crap and spankings do not help on the plus side he started out on ritalin and I think it messed him up bad but he has been on adderall vyvanse ritalin focolin and concerta the only one that has help has been vyvanse and adderall we liked vyvanse more but our insurance doesn’t cover it and it’s crazy expensive but good luck mama I know exactly how you feel and mine has always been like that and he is 16 now
I have no advice. My son was on Strattera for his ADD/ADHD in 2nd grade (around the same age) they made him overly emotional. Try increasing his serotonin levels. I have a student that has that as part of his behavior plan that we walk first thing in the morning to raise his levels. I also read peanut butter and sunlight do the same.
Ritalin is the problem. It it causing side effects
Ritalin may actually be the problem! I was on that as a kid… I felt like everyone hated me and that I shouldn’t be alive and I envied everyone around me. Change his meds to make sure that’s not the cause
Most of the high school shooters were on Ratalin or a similar drug.
Your husband should teaching him to respect you
Sounds like his adhd medication is not working call his doctor try different medication for it. My daughter gets that way sometimes and HATES being grounded when she gets grounded I take away everything she thinks is fun tv tablet toys everything, it eventually works when she’s stuck in her room bored out of her mind.
It the Ritalin thats doing it no good for kids.
It could be his meds, that should be reevaluated, also if he only listens to dad why isn’t dad correcting his behavior?
Remove the medication from him. Detox him. Do a heavy metals detox.
Work on his gut health and clean eating. No artificial dyes and no processed food.
I would demand respect. I would take everything out of his room. He would not be able to watch tv or use the phone computer etc. He would have a bed in there and that would be all. Have set time’s for getting up going to bed etc. Be strict in the rules. When his behaviors get better allow him one thing back in his room. Good luck and God bless!!
Spank his little ass when he needs it.
It’s like every kid is on Ritalin these days…
Validation of feelings go a long way. Sometimes kids act out bc that’s the only way they receive attention.
Praise good work with words, hugs, tickles, quality time, etc.
My 4 year old does this. I tell him to stop several times, take stuff away from him and finally I lose my shit! Like head spinning, yelling from another dimension, straight “I’m about to spank your ass” mom face and then I pull down his pants and underwear and spank his ass! He cries a little but not much, it doesnt really hurt him it mostly just scares the shit out of him! Lol he’s good for the rest of the day after that!
And recently I told him that the boogeyman was real but he only takes little boys that don’t listen… Probably not every moms idea of parenting but it works! Lol he starts listening when I tell him I’ll send him with the boogeyman!
Okay. So my son is 6, but huge. He’s the same. But I won’t have him medicated
But. Its starts with taking away desserts.
Next, electronics. Next his next fave toy like legos.
But if its not like eh or throw it in, exercise.
My son has the energy. So when he’s just not grasped how to stop mouth off he gets 2 laps.
He feels better afterwards. He’s calmer, and thinks clearer. One day he just kept running. Then we do it different. Run to the tree then the wall. It actually helps a lot more than you think.
Or writing
You cannot make hollow promises
I’ve always been a push over so he doesn’t listen, but he listens to step dad. And basically no one else. I get where you’re coming from cause we have a 3 year old too.
We also do the corner while holding something
Or nose on the wall
But if they feel like they’re always in trouble they will. And won’t Care. Stop yelling if you are and try to be calmer and praise good behavior
They have a lot of meds out there. Talk to his doctor.
How sad! I’m sorry you’re going thru this!
Ritalin, find something more natural if you really want to help him. My little brother was on it and he still resents my mother till this day for making him take it. She was just trying to help but he didn’t see it that way. Also he thought everyone from his teachers to his parents hated him spent alot of time alone in his room.
How does his father talk to you?
He need some old fashion get right.
Get A psychiatrist To Put Him In A Mental Institution Because Of His Behavior Scares You.
He Has 2 Younger Siblings. He Does Not Behave Rationally Around THEM
Guanfacine has helped my 7 almost 8 year old tremendously. He takes 2mg clonodine at night for bedtime or he’s literally up all night and falling asleep in class the next day. I know its scary putting little kids on meds,but before I caved and allowed my baby to take them he was struggling with behavior and in school. He’s been on his meds for a year and a half and is now a completely different kid.
Wow. I would think that you are describing my 8, almost 9, year old. Even the mmm hmmm when you ask to do something. I am also at my witt’s end. I feel like I keep getting the run around when trying to get a clear diagnosis and possibly meds. I you get any answers please update us.
Id whoop his ass.
Sounds like you let it get too far tho. My kids have only needed a butt whooping (nothing extreme) a couple times. The fact they know it’s a possibility keeps them in line. Rarely do I have to.
Lots of parents are going through this 
I know it’s difficult but hang in there and sending strong 
prayers to all of you guys GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS AND A HUGE TY FOR REACHING OUT FOR ANSWERS AND NOT HURTING OR KILLING YOUR BEAUTIFUL KIDS
You are not being strong enough. You need to give him lots of love ,But you need to be very strong and mean what you said.Even take off your slippers and show him who is the adult. I have two sons and I know what I am talking about . They are the love of my life ,but you need to be strong for them and when they become adult they would thank you . Please love your children , be strong , be the adult, May God BlessYou.
I know it doesn’t change the situation or make it right, and I hope you do find solutions, but here is advice seasoned mothers have told me:
A child will likely take their frustrations from the world out on the parent they love most and feel safest around.
Again, it doesn’t make it right, but maybe it can help ease just a bit of the frustrations.
I’ve been right where you are. My son was diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) along with ADHD. He was put on Ritalin and that only lasted a month because it made him worse. We had trial and error of several different medications/ medication combinations before we found a something that worked. Also routine is crucial for my son. As he lacks the ability to communicate emotions like a “typical child” is his emotions come out through behavior wether good or bad. My son has a strict routine from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed and you can definitely tell if we deviate from it. We incorporated some ABA therapy tips into his routine. He has a clock with his routine on it and he enjoys interacting with it most days. He has strict video game limits. I invested in a lot of motor/ sensory activities for him as well- slime, putty ect ect- I have 7 children altogether but he tends to need the most attention. We praise all things good and have a very clear and strict consequence system- if you do this this will happen and consistency is key with him! It took several months before we seen any real change in him - there is no miracle cure and every kid is different and he still has bad days but slowly he is learning to manage his emotions in a more health manner. We tried several different things with him before this system we use now. Whatever you do be Consistent and give it time to work.
It would help to find out if this is a behavioural thing and/or medical. Get as much information as you can from the people in his life and put it in a diary. What’s he like at school, friends etc. Be objective in your notes. This will help when you pass on information to any medical professionals.
Some of the traits you explained sounded like ODD. But your situation is complex with ADHD. It’s not one size fits all. A psychiatrist and behavioural therapist would be better than a councellor. And if he’s good with his dad, give yourself a break and leave your son with him sometimes so you can rest and recharge.
Video him when he’s acting up.
You don’t have to have the camera in his face, just hit record & get the audio…
And do it for as long as he has a bad reaction toward you.
If its for a couple min or 10, just keep the camera going.
I do this with my son & every time I make him watch the video there is complete shift in his behavior.
It’s an eye opening perspective at how they look & sound when they disrespect you.
I’m sure if you were to show your husband the way your son acts toward you, it would be hard for your Son to argue that you are being unfair.
Try it
God Luck Mama
Do everything they are saying and get him on something else reperidone is a good one but it makes them gain weight my son was on that for 4-5 years and it him gain some weight but it helped but we took him off it because of that
As a mom to six, four of which are boys, ages 23 down to 3, I suggest you take a nice relaxing trip to the dollar tree. Get you a few of those wooden spoons, maybe a couple fly swatters, perhaps even a belt if they have it. You then come home set on the couch with a hot tea,maybe a glass of wine and relax. Tell him to do his chores, he decides he wants to start that mouth, use that wooden spoon, fly swatter, or even the belt if it comes to it. Reach out and touch somebody ass AT&T once said. It is all about what you allow him to get by with.
Get a lapel video camera
Or the kind that looks like a pen. Videotape him & discuss how to deal with the behavior problem with his father!!
Is this behavior something hes always done or did it just come out of no where?.I have 5 kids and 3 had behavior issues…Ive also been told by doctors,therapists,everyone that the child will behave like that with the parent he feels safe with and trusts that you will not leave them even when they disrespect you.It feels like they hate you for no reason but its just the opposite.I had my kids evaluated and got services that would them learn tools to use when they are angry or stressed ect…1 is on medication and its not Ritalin there is other types of medication out there just talk with a doctor.It does take time and sometimes trying differents meds to find what helps.I would also set a strict routine and. Consaquences for bad behavior and rewards and praise for good behavior.Dont allow him to disrespect you at any time for any reason.If he does explain to him how it makes you feel and you want it to stop now.Let him know what the consaquences are if he doesnt listen and respect you.Put up. Chart with rules and a star chart for rewards.I have recorded my kids so they can see what they look and sound like it does help them understand a little more because like us we dont always see how were acting.His father needs to have your back no matter what.Thats a big thing because he will see that you both wont allow it and that his father wont allow him to treat you badly.As hard as it is stay strong dont let him see that hes winning.Explain to him that. You wont allow it and how you feel when hes doing that then give the consaquence…Then tell him you love him more than anything and thats why you wont let him behave that way.Dont back down do what you say every time.If you gotta take all his toys then do it…It will get better with time but you gotta keep going and trying the advice given to you…GOOD LUCK
You are not a bad parent for taking things away and rewarding him when he’s behaving. Keep doing it it’ll stick. He’ll learn his actions have consequences some good some bad. I went through the same thing with my step daughter and it’s hard but haven’t had to get on her about things like when she was that age. Make sure you both are a united front about this. If it comes down to it take all the toys and fun stuff away until he learns that mommy isn’t gonna play those games and you’ve got to listen and follow the rules. Nothing says mommy doesn’t play games like only having your bed and clothes in your room for a bit.
Get him assessed for ODD. My son was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, OCD and bipolar at 4 yrs old. Your description sounds exactly like how my son was. He started on guanfacine but it just made his bipolar worse. He is now taking adderall and has been for about a year. He is so much more pleasant. Maybe the Ritalin is not the medication for him. Maybe try a different medication?
I would try talking to him about school. Something may be going on you don’t know about. I know my 7 yr old boy will act out more at home if he has had a bad day. And he too will take it out on me and sometimes his older sisters. He may also be jealous of the younger 2 getting (in his eyes) more attention… Swatting and taking his things helps with mine though.If you do go the med route and you live where cannabis is legal I would look into going that route, If doing any medication. I had to experiment with some meds for her and after 3 different ones making her depressed and/of causing her nose to bleed profusely I stopped with the Dr prescribed meds. Good luck.
Lower your voice, come down to his level and look him square in the eye. Tell him his behavior is unacceptable and why in a short sentence. Tell him you do not approve of his behavior. Tell him that there will be consequences for his behavior. Then get up,walk away and ignore him. Don’t take the phone or games away. TAKE AWAY THE POWER CORD when he’s not around. Don’t threaten or tell him what the consequences are. Keep him guessing, he will start paying more attention to what you say.
You ain’t parenting if your kid doesn’t ever say I hate you. I did to mine and they are my world now. When I turned an adult. Period. I gained Nd learned respect. Qnd take his electronics lo her and longer. Stand your ground. Second you let it down, and let him see it gets to you. Thats when you lose. Take him off Ritalin obviously isn’t working and ask for a different alternative. Period. Talk to counselor. Or get him a therapist. Seek other options. And don’t give up… which somewhat sounds like you are. Because where there’s a will there’s a way.
Physical military punishment
He’s screams I hate you so good that my job and walk away another way is stop speaking to him all together he wants something look at him and don’t answer don’t take away electronic let him watch them die and not be able to charge them again make him shower in cold water he’ll learn respect and
Structure consistency and stern longEr consequences when he’s mean to his brother and sister send him to his room and bring the two outside to play and do something fun but he can’t because he’s not being nice etc
Look into Pda Pathological Demand Avoidance its a type of Autism…The traits are the child appears cheeky aggressive uncooperative and naughty but really the child is highly anxious and when they are very anxious and demands are put on them they can respond with aggression or upset…Really its they are already feeling very very anxious and just a simple put your toys away or get dressed could be all it takes to make the anxiety tip them over the edge then they have a meltdown…If you think of it as more of a panic attack rather than bad behaviour…It may not be this but worth reading up on it to see
Sounds like ODD. You should try occupational therapy. Also I would take extra curricular activities as well as toys. He would be allowed to read or chores that’s it until he could respect me.
I once put all my sons things in trash bags and made him earn it back one bag at a time for being disrespectful. I also took boy scouts away. This was about 2-3 years ago. My son is 8 1/2. We have not had major problems with him being disrespectful since. We also did OT for 3 yrs from 4 to 7
I think honesty you consider changing his Medicine. That can make you so angry and he probably doesn’t realize that’s why. Not saying that’s an excuse for his behavior, but when I was a kid I used to take Ritalin and other ADHD meds and I was so mean to everyone around me, until I stopped taking it. Just a suggestion, good luck momma. Parenting is so hard!
Start taking things away until there is nothing left make him earn it back
make him hold his arms in the air for 10 minutes, push-ups ect. and if he puts them down or stops doing physical activity take a toy and throw it away (put in garage or something). send to a different house for a week that makes him do extreme chores ect, threaten boot camp, if he likes school say yiy might have to homeschool and not see his friends anymore
Be firm…
Ask him once…
Let him go if he’s late for school that’s on him…
Does his dad treat you like that?
My boy has ADHD and he has turned out to be the best loving and caring boy in his late 20’s