My son doesn’t seem happy about my pregnancy at all and I’m concerned he won’t want anything to do with his new sibling. I (30f) have an 8 year old son who will be turning 9 right around the time I am due to deliver his new baby sister. He seemed less than enthused when I told him about the pregnancy. He knew that his step dad and I were trying to conceive because we had an in depth conversation about how we loved him but we also wanted a baby together (this is our first). When I told him he didn’t believe me. He said he knew we wanted a baby but he didn’t think I would actually be able to get pregnant (it took several months). Now that he can see I am indeed pregnant and the reality has set in I asked him again how he feels about it. He says he feels neutral about it and quickly changes the subject. I know it can be tough to adjust to having a sibling after being an only child for so long. He is very independent and I’m just concerned that once she is born he will further alienate himself from me in an attempt to not be around his baby sister. Has anyone dealt with this before and what did you do to help your child become more accepting of their new sibling?
My oldest was indifferent when I told him I was pregnant with my youngest. There’s almost a 10 year gap between my boys, he warmed up to the idea by the end of the pregnancy and absolutely adores his little brother. They play often, to the point that sometimes they bicker like they’re closer in age than they really are. Lol give him time, it’s a huge adjustment going from being the only child for nearly 9 years to having a sibling that he has to share his mom with.
He has been the only child for almost 9 years and now he has to share you with another human soon. Make sure u make time for him one on one and include him on everything when his sister is born.
He will be okay mommy and he will absolutely love his sister. Few thing you can do:
Take him with you when baby shopping and ask his input and let h choose a few things.
Make special time with him, go to the movies together, bake together.
Let him help you with the baby room.
Make sure you have one on one time with him now and promise it will continue after the baby and make sure it does. Let him help pick stuff out. Maybe give him a special cool gift only a big kid can have when she is born. Find picture books to read with him and show positive new sibling situations.
Try and include him in everything even when she is here also let him know that he will always be your baby and you love him very much 
Mine are 13yrs apart, my oldest wasnt thrilled at first lol, I was nervous through the whole pregnancy about it but once baby brother was here big brother fell In love, it’s a big adjustment esp with separate households, I think everyone being positive about it helps tremendously, and having big brother part of everything 
he’ll be ok, congratulations, sending lots of love
My 8 year old was the same but he was also scared I was going to die in childbirth once baby was here he now absolutely adores his little brother.
My son was 5 and wanted NO siblings, let alone sisters. Once they were born he became very close with them and loved them more than anything. Now 23, 18, 18, they are still closer than any siblings ever. Just make sure to keep him involved and give him just as much love and attention. You can involve him before they are born too. Have him read to the baby through your belly and talk to him/her. Have him share his likes with the baby even before it’s born so that he can feel close.
My first two are 10 years apart. I tried for many years to conceive a sibling at his request and it never happened. I finally convinced him how great it was to be an only child (thinking because of prior issues I wasn’t able to conceive). He was less than thrilled about having a sibling, even more so that said child was due two days before his 10th birthday.
I wouldn’t say my oldest has alienated himself… but he definitely keeps a distance from his siblings. (I had another to make it 3, he was very upset about the third as I told him I didn’t plan on having anymore, because I didn’t want 3 kids)
Oldest is 16 now, his siblings get on his nerves and he stays to himself most of the time. But him and I have a very good and open relationship.
My 2 boys are 10 years apart. My oldest was use to having just me in his life but really had to problem with a brother. Due to age difference they really didn’t hang out together but now that they are older they will do stuff together. It probably going to take some time to get use to all of it.
My step son was the same way. Right around that age too. We let him do the gender reveal and included him in any way we could. Take his name suggestions, let him pick a color for the nursery, whatever you’re comfortable giving him control over. It took my son a while to warm up but now he’s 13 and the youngest is four and they even play together sometimes. Inclusion and not blaming the baby (ex: I can’t play with you I have to feed baby, I can’t go to the park baby is napping) helps. Good luck!
My husband is 9 years older than his younger half sibling. How is your child’s relationship with his step father, how does the step father treat him? It is already extremely hard to be an only child for 9 years, and have a sibling you didn’t want forced upon you. Once his younger brother was born, his stepfather loved and babied his baby, and treated my husband as a stepchild, not his own child. My husband was forced to do all of the chores, and care for his brother. He was a sponsored skateboarder, and had to quit because they would force him to bring his 1 year old brother out with him. His step-dad then forced him to work for his company from the age of 9, until he moved out. They are now adults, he loves his younger brother, but they do not see eachother often, and he has no relationship with his step dad at all.
I have 3 girls, an 8 year old, 3 year old and 3 month old.
My kids didn’t seem excited about the baby until the end of my pregnancy and then I was hospitalized for a month due to severe preeclampsia and the baby was in the NICU for 33 days. During that time they didn’t seem interested and seemed spaced out when we’d talk about the baby or show pictures, but once we brought her home they fell in love.
You have to give him time, he’s probably worried the baby will take time away from his time with you. Just make sure to keep him super involved, just asking him to grab a diaper, or change of clothes or a bib will help him feel like he is helping care for the baby and will help him feel he’s still important.
(I just noticed you said he has a step dad. My husband and father of my first two passed away when they were 5 and 8months. I do feel that sometimes my oldest felt a little weird about it because it wasn’t her dads child, and would have a different last name)
My daughter cried when I told her I was pregnant. She got over it.
He’ll get over it eventually. It will take time for him to adjust, but you can’t put your wishes on hold just to appease him. I’m saying this coming from a point where my oldest who was the same age as yours got smacked in the face with a dose of reality by having 3 siblings within a 2 month period of each other (step mom was pregnant & i got pregnant also).
My son was 6 when I had my daughter. He was fine until he was about 11 years old and just sort of stopped engaging her. They don’t fight and he’s not mean to her, they just don’t have a relationship. He says they have nothing in common. It bothers my husband and I, but at this point it is just normal for them. They are 13 and 19 now, and still barely speak living in the same household. They say they love each other, but it makes me so sad that they aren’t ‘friends’, but they both seem fine with it.
He might be scared about loosing your affection, just try to include him in everything you can , like picking the name , nursery / room decoration etc.
And it’s very important to have some time with just him when the baby arrives.
Just you and him , having a day just bonding and doing the stuff he likes .
Like going out to eat , to the movies etc .
My oldest was 12 when I had my last baby she’s oldest of 5 and she wasn’t happy about me having a baby but when I say as soon as she got to hold him and play with him her mood changed
My lad wasn’t keen on me having his sister but now they love each other he didn’t understand he thought I was replacing him but he now fully understand and he was happy I was pregnant second time with my twins and he was so happy once the baby is here it will take time for your older child to understand but he will love that he’s a big brother
My eldest was nearly 6 when I had his brother, we were inseparable. I was unsure how I would adjust to having a new baby and having to share my love between them, I had many sleepless nights feeling guilty to both my children, I honestly believed I couldn’t have loved my new one as much as I loved my little sidekick.
I knew how I was feeling so couldn’t even comprend what my 6 year old was going through.
I took him to all my scans, and we decided on a name together, he helped me get the baby’s room and stuff ready for his arrival.
Once my new baby arrived it was love at first sight for both of us, all my worries disappeared, my eldest was brilliant, I got him fully involved when he wanted to be, and spent as much one on one time with him as I could. I would put baby in bed an hour early each night so we could spend the evening together.
Now they’re 19 and 13 and fight like cat and dog, but their bond is so strong and they have each others back always. I often hear, ‘night Jack, love you’ ’ night Josh, love you too’.
It’s not easy and there will be times when one needs you more than the other, but your son will love his little sister when she’s here.
Good luck xx
My daughter was 6 when I my husband I got pregnant with my second baby, and she had always asked for a Lil sibling. But when we told her, she cries and was upset at first, because the reality of it. But soon enough she was over that, and got excited. And she was soooo happy when my second was born and is an amazing big sister!! Give your son some time!! And let him know how important and fun being a big brother will be, let him help with getting the nursery ready, and other things he can do to help him get excited!
He may feel that he’s being replaced.
Try to include him, in as much as possible.
Offer to take him shopping with you to pick out stuff for his sister. Ask him to help you set up furniture and decorate the nursery.
When the baby comes, ask him to help feed, change, bath, dress etc her.
Whatever he is comfortable with.
In between, hype up the idea of having a baby sister. Tell him how much she’s going to love him and how he’s going to be the big brother and needs to protect her etc.
I am a classroom teacher- please do not put any responsibility for baby/sibling care on him. Quickest way to cause resentment. But, if help is ever offered- show lots of thanks and gratitude. The sibling relationship will come with time. Mother son dates are a good idea too. 