My son is an absolute jerk to his family and his wife. He is emotionless since he got back from the war in Iraq. He got back in 2011 and I know he has ptsd issues. He mentioned that his nightmares are gone (thank the Lord) but he is just a lump on a log so to say. He drowned himself in gaming and works because he has to but everything falls on his wife or us (parents) how do I wake him up? I know he has had alot to work through but he is pushing everyone away. What do I do?
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Intervention all his love ones and explain profess your love and worry and ask him to get the help he needs to be a man for himself and able to love his family again
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Therapy and medication
I know he will be resistant. But, it will make him feel so much better.
Talk to him to get involved with the VA therapist.
He needs a professional. Please know that you can’t do this.
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1.Pray 2.Get him into counseling and you might want to talk with a counselor also 3.Keep praying
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He needs some counseling center to deal with his issues and unfortunately he has to be the one to reach out and get it you can’t force him. Have any of you tried talking to him about what’s going on? Sounds like if he doesn’t get help soon his marriage may be at risk and war does change a person. Good luck and prayers
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You need to take him to VA and get his professional help ASAP. Thats a huge red flag right there. He may say his nightmares are gone but he could be just saying that to make you guys get off his back and stop nagging. His wife needs to step in and get him to VA or talk to his superior about this. Right now its the most important thjng because you don’t know what’s going through his mind. He might fight you on it and say he doesnt need help but right now he needs his whole family the most. Its frustrating i understand but you gotta find a different approach to reach him. His mind is wired and probably still in Iraq even after all the years. Dont give up on him
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He needs professional help!!!
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You seem more worried about yourself than him, get help for you both
My nephew did three tours and wasnt here when his daughter was born. He wasnt in a good place when he came home so he sought help then started doing projects to help vets. He started “freedom wood flags” for families and peole who fight for our and their freedom from the terrible things that they went through and witnessed. Maybe get him interested in so.ething that would help him work through his feelings
Get help with counselor. Maybe someone who has been through this can talk to him and let him know that getting help Will really help
Sadly you can’t force him to get help he needs to want it or it won’t help
He needs therapy hun
My son had therapy at VA and no more nightmares or drinking and he works…but still withdrawn. Marines are always Furstenberg line of defense and he was in the desert for 8 years…it will be a long way back to some sort of normal
Is he VA Service Connected? If not, talk to him about those resources available. Counseling, Primary Care, you name it…
My mother is a Veteran with moderate/semi severe PTSD. The VA has mostly been a lifesaver for her, and those of us who love her.
You can’t help him unless he wants help. The military has great resources for this type of thing. But you can’t make him go to therapy or any of the other resources they have. I would still go down to the local Veterans Admin and talk to someone. They may have volunteer programs he can do where he will be around other guys in his situation, someone to talk to. But I would start there.
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Ptsd is fucking hard to deal with, let alone from a war! My advice is be gentle but stern, encourage him to c someone or a support group,they say u hurt the ones u love because they are ur safe place! Sending u all the strength to get through this♥️
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He needs counseling, probably individually and family counseling.
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My hubby has ptsd. He needs to go see a counselor. It’s hard for family to deal with. You need to be firm with him
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This is most likely completely over your head. He needs professional help!
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Contact the Veterans Administration for help
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4 divorces…too many bar brawls to count… No help because I never went in and askef for it. Too proud to ask for help has cost me a life of broken relationships. Tell your son to get help…go with him if he wants you to.
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He needs to go to a VA or therapy ASAP. He has to get help. Also give his support/love. When he goes.
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Is he in counseling?? If not, get him in counseling QUICK… he needs it…
The only thing you can do is show him the way to receive the help he needs and that him and his family deserve! Maybe contact the VA and get what information you. Can, or ask his wife to, so he has a place to start. I hope and pray he gets the help so your whole family can move towards happier days!!
Try a support group and maybe therapy
I have ptsd not from war but it really helped talking about it to a judgemental person
I’d find him support through the VA or other outlets, like VA halls, PTSD meetings - have his wife and you go to support group meetings to learn how to help him cope. There are many many support groups for him and the family out there. Please take advantage of them.
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He needs other vets. We (civilians) just don’t get it, can’t reach them. Reach out to one of his military buddies to do a check in.
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Find a support group check it out maybe find someone that is willing to talk to him one on one and they can encourage him to go to a group like he isn’t the only one. Prayers to you all. He served our country and he deserves to get help
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A Therapist that specializes in PTSD treatment.
Recommend that he sees a therapist who specializes in trauma
Get him in with the VA he spunds like he could benefit from EMDR and they offer it ay the VA for ptsd. If he hasn’t filed a claim you should encourage him to do that as well. You don’t “wake” someone with ptsd up. They have to learn coping methods. I say this as a vet with service connected ptsd.
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Counseling or Therapist SOON
He is fooling only himself. But you enable him. Tell him look we love you but your behavior is just awful. You need some help. Get it or consequence will happen you have 30 days. To get started or get out. Period
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There really is not much you can do. Unless he realizes he has issues and wants to get better then all the therapy in the world won’t do him any good. Also if you push too hard then he may end up resenting you. The only thing you can do is talk to him about what’s happening in a non-judgmental, non-threatening manner. if you accuse or yell or act in any way but calm, he will very well become defensive and not listen. Quiet and calm discussion may help him see how his actions are affecting those who love him.
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Try sending him to a reiki practitioner. Play solfeggio 9 frequencies during the day or while he sleeps itll help.He needs to ground barefoot on the grass , beach js nature and eat live food fruits vegetables, stay away from white salt white sugar mostly junk. Drink lots of water.100%cacao
How can you help veterans with PTSD?
In the U.S.: Call the Veterans Crisis Line at 1-800-273-8255 (Press 1);
call the Veteran Center Call Center hotline to talk with another combat veteran at 1-877-927-8387;
or use the PTSD Program Locator to find specialized VA PTSD treatment: HELPGUIDE.ORG.
You could also try to contact wounded warriors. If they cannot help they should be able to get you some resources.
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He needs to go to the VA. They consider PTSD a disability. When they figure out the percent of disability he is, he is entitled to a check once a month. You guys don’t realize what these soldiers have gone thru. My husband is 100% disabled … PTSD. The VA pays me to stay home and be a caregiver. My husband sleeps a lot. He needs counseling and he needs meds to take the edge off. A common diagnoses is manic bipolar. His brain is basically misfiring from all the stress. Most people have a fight or flight situation happen to them occassionally if at all. These guys were in this mindset most of the time. Get him to the VA. Also get him assigned a transition therapist that will help him thru everything the VA can offer him. He needs help.
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I’m deeply sorry to hear of the struggle. I pray for healing and peace. God bless him and thank you for allowing your son to serve. God bless you all for strength.
War fighter advance program is such an amazing healing process for our soldiers. Maybe he’d be willing to go!! http://www.warfighteradvance.org/
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Suggest that he get professional help and support him if/ when he does…it is up to him to put in the work to get better. HE has to WANT to get better first. Unfortunately there isn’t much that anybody else can do to help him until he is willing to help himself.
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He should look into therapies. The VA offers some great group therapies that get them talking in a setting where others can relate. Now, getting him TO those therapies is the rough part. Men are proud. Especially vets. Do some digging with the Va in your area and talk with him. Reach out to a vet friend of his and see if they can’t come help talking to him.
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He has to find something that he loves again. Look up horse therapies or animal therapies.
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I have been living with PTSD for over 5 years now. Of a different variety… but I personally find that with some professional help and I also microdose. I have had issues with pharmaceuticals in the past and needed something different. It has helped me a lot. It’s not necessarily for everyone but just thought I’d share and maybe shed light on a different approach if one felt necessary.
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My husband was so funny, so positive and never refused any challenge. He came home in 2007 from Iraq with PTSD. He worked so hard to pass every test and finally was able to be in corrections just to quit 3 days later. It’s very tough for him and also hard on us. He drowns his “issues” with alcohol but we are hopeful we get our ray back someday. Good luck and know you are not alone. Keep supporting him emotionally anyway and dont lose hope.
Maybe see if you can get him to go get some help
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Military with ptsd. It’s a page for help
He needs therapy military usually covers that you cant do anything on your part to help but encourage therapy and talking to someone
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Y’all have to have patience with him and realize his road to recovery is going to be long and hard; it is like any other illness that needs to be medically treated. He definitely cannot do it on his own & having a strong support system can make all the difference. Look into www.thisableveteran.org or www.woundedwarriorproject.org - those are good starting places God Bless Y’all
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PTSD is awful. Nightmares, flashbacks where you are literally reliving the trauma (which can be triggered by completely random things), hypervigilance where you are constantly looking for danger, etc.
It might get better. Therapy helps. Meds help. Stress and anxiety can be debilitating.
The things that literally saved my life were a good, reliable support network and volunteering at my local animal rescue. I’ve been dealing with this for over a decade. I only became stable in the last couple years.
Be supportive. Remind him he’s safe and loved. Remind him he’s not a monster (big issue with war vets). Remind him of the good he’s done. Help him find something where he feels he’s making a positive difference. Make sure he has someone he can call and/or talk to in the middle of the night should nightmares be a problem.
Don’t treat him like a failure. Don’t treat him like he’s broken. Don’t discourage his escapes (like games) without offering a constructive alternative.
Some of us never recover. Most mostly recover with occasional relapse. It is highly unlikely he’ll ever be completely free of the trauma responses.
I hope this helps
- a fellow PTSD sufferer
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