This is WAY too soon. A couple of months and you wanna merge families? Have you given ANY thought to how your child is affected by the split or you immediately bringing a new man around while they are still adjusting to the new norm.
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Don’t “merge families” with your rebound guy. It’s too early for you, let alone your 9 year old.
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I mean… it’s only been 7 months? What do you expect? It hasn’t been years. Just because you have moved on doesn’t mean he has or accepted the situation yet. Hes a child.
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I hope you actually listen to these comments or your son will grow up resenting you.
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Pump ur breaks… Only been 5months.
You shouldn’t have even introduced the child to the boyfriend or his family. Especially when it’s not like u all are in a serious relationship. Been split up since March. U jumped on the first dick who showed u attention. Don’t be one of those mothers who have their kid calling a new dude dad every 6 months. Only been dating the dude a couple months so I assume a couple is 2-3 u don’t even know the dude yet. You are dumb. Open your eyes and wake up to what you are putting your kid through.
In a nutshell, your son thinks his dad is being replaced. You probably should consider family therapy, and include your son’s bio dad.
Waaaay to early for that!
Just a couple months and yall want to merge families? Did you take any time at all to heal after the breakup. Bc thats only been 7 months. Your kid is 9, not 2. Let him heal as well.
Merge families after a couple of months? It was YEARS before I took this step with my child and my fiancés family. I would be uncomfortable too if I was him.
It hasn’t been a year yet. Maybe you should let him have his space and respect that he does care to be part of them people’s group. 
This is why kids grow to resent their parents cause of this dumb BS. IDK why you’re so pressed to bring your kids around that man’s family so fast either.
You deserve to be happy but is it not to soon to be introducing your kids to another man. 7 month post breakup isn’t enough for kids to get their little heads around the fact that mam and dad aren’t together anymore.
Less than a year??? The child is the priority.
After I was divorced I never introduced my kids to anyone I was dating.
He’s a boyfriend not a husband.
Thats way soon. I won’t even interduce new “friends” to my child before 6 months.
Oh my gosh, only a couple months? Girl. I have a 9 year old son who is literally my heart. I could never merge after being together 11yrs (which my husband and I his dad) have been together for that long, only after a few months.
Give him so time! It hasn’t even been a year.
I think the kid knows better than the adult in this situation. After maybe 5 months of a split with their dad mom has a new bf and wants to already “merge” families? Just because you think youve healed doesnt mean your kids have and honestly its inconsiderate. You hardly know these people yourself. How about not introducing people to your kids so soon, let alone try and blend your families. Get the kids some counseling btw…and some for yourself too.
It’s a couple months give him fking time .
Give it easy a year before you try to start pushing families together. Think about your son first and not trying to force this family idea you got in your head.
Your son is having a hard fking time stop.
I would not introduce partner less than 3 months of solid dating.
Then slowly introduce with outside the family home events, picnics (not forcing it).
Be guided by your children from there!
If your son is opposing it, talk to him, and be prepared to accept his view.
You chose to have children which should always be your no1 priority over any love interest. If he respects you and your children he will take step back and work on building relationships, not just with you but also your kids.
My ex and I split when the kids were 4 and 5. A few months later my best friend from years prior and I reconnected. I waited 6 months to introduce and that started with phone calls and videos before they met in person. By that point they were excited to meet him bc I slowly introduced over the course of 9 months. If he’s opposing it that means it’s way too soon for him. Step back and let them be friends 1st
Give him time. A couple of months is NOT long enough to be merging your families…
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It’s to dam soon to be in another relationship , you should have been dating the new guy for at least 6 to 9 months, before introducing to your kids, you really need to not be trying to blend anything.
Way too soon!
I’m just merging my kids with my partners kids and it’s bin 2 years!
Take him a long. He might like it.
You’ve only been dating for a couple of months. The correct answer is YOU DON’T. Why would you do that to your child??? You don’t merge families with someone you’ve only been seeing for a couple of months when you haven’t even been separated from their father for long enough for them to even process and come to terms with the split.
It took a while for my kids to want to interact with my now fiance. One of my kids yelled at him, called him names, etc. My fiance just said “I need to be patient. He is hurting.”
We only moved in together back in February, after being together 3 years and getting engaged 6 months prior. My kids love my fiance. He is who they turn to if they need something. He is who goes to school things. He taught my 17 yr old to shave last night! But it takes time.
Your kid is experiencing grief and loss. And a whole lot of other emotions.
I never want them to experience that again. So I took it pretty slow. For their hearts, and mine - to be sure. And to feel safe and secure after feeling abandoned.
Listen to and respect your kiddos feelings. Those are the only feelings that really matter in a situation like this.
I would tend to agree w many on this thread. It might work for some but it’s too soon for your 9 year old and they’re telling you it is. Respect and honor that.
This is something I have first hand experience with. Kids first. Always.
7 months off a major life change and you are asking a 9 year old to accept the “merging” of a new family…you can help by slowing down and prioritizing his feelings above all else. Put yourself in his shoes, Mom. What you are asking of him is entirely unreasonable in my opinion. Just because you are ready to move on does not mean he is.
The kid hasn’t even emotionally healed from the breakup and 6 months later you are trying to get him to accept a new " father" figure and his family …try spending time with the family you have instead of trying to create a new so soon
You haven’t even been single a year and you’re already trying to push another family on to your son? Why would you have even introduced someone new to him already? That’s extremely questionable parenting moves.
You’re moving too fast. I don’t blame him.
What do you mean by merging families? Like moving in? Because that’s just too fast to expect anyone let alone a child to accept. 11, years of the same thing and now in less then a year you want him to accept not just a new guy but his whole family? He’s uncomfortable you can’t just help him but be comfortable with your plans. You need to move at his pace.
Slow down a bit. Keep the living arrangements separate but do things together as a blended family, and do things with just your son so he still feels like your priority, which he always should be. If this new relationship doesn’t last he will be traumatised all over again. He’s just a child. Love him first.
That was only 7 months ago and you have been dating this guy a couple of months ago. You moved on from his father 7 months ago and you’re already trying to get him to merge into some new dudes life!? You are wrong, not the kid. Leave that poor boy alone and let him grieve his family that was taken from him. You need to slow down.
Why are you trying to “merge families” with someone you barely even know?? Why have your kids met someone you barely even know?? 
My wife passed leaving me with a 7 year old to raise by myself. A quick new relationship I wasn’t ready for almost killed me. But we never got to merging family stage. The next relationship did get that far. But it didn’t go well. Now I have finally found a great partner and she’s way too smart to even entertain the idea of merging unless her son and my daughter are totally on board with it. Four years later we each have our own home and will move in together when my daughter heads off to university. Not only is it better for my daughter, it makes the time it get to spend with my partner a bit more special since it’s not all the time
Don’t pressure him or rush him. Slowly but surely he will accept it and accept him. My son was like that when I left his dad of 10 years. Took him months to finally warm up to my boyfriend.