Needing advice. My son is three weeks old and screams and cries when my husband holds him and when he tries to lay him down in his bassinet. But he doesn’t scream when I hold him. It’s very frustrating because my husband is trying to help with him but can’t seem to catch a break with the screaming. He is fed and changed, so we don’t understand why he screams and cries so much with only him. He gets fussy with me, but not like he does with my husband. What can we do to make it easier? My husband will be the one with him all day once I go back to work, and I feel horrible knowing that he just screams with him. Anyone else has this issue before, and if so, how did you fix it?
Because your mama!!! Let dad comfort him when he is crying, he will begin to feel secure with him. Baby will realize dad will be there for him when he cries, I know it’s painful to hear baby cry but just give it some time!
Have him have something of yours like a t-shirt that he hold him with. It’ll smell like you.
Have your husband do skin on skin with the baby
If your husband is nervous the baby can sense it. The only thing you can do is keep trying over and over until he gets used to him.
If your husband feels uneasy or high anxiety while holding him the baby will pick up on it and also feel insecure and will cry. good luck mama practice and patience
It may take awhile for baby to respond to his dad as easily as he does with you. He was just inside your body a month ago, you’re the person he knows best.
he just spent 9 months inside you…he senses the difference …mine were all the same…takes time
Try having Dad and baby do skin to skin
Lots of skin to skin and then my husband would put my tshirt or blanket over baby and it even helped for me to not be in the room.
Baby’s can sense if someone is anxious so baby may be responding to your husbands nerves holding him. Make sure your husband is relaxed and confident with holding baby. Otherwise, keep working on it and have your husband hold baby more until baby gets use to it.
Wear one of your husband’s shirts for the day/night. Your baby will start to get his scent while still seeing your face and hearing your voice… And then have your husband wear that same shirt the next day. It will have your scent on it but his voice obviously. Keep doing this for a few days and your baby should adjust to the both of you. Congratulations!
My son was the samw way with me at first he was attached to his dad from birth amd would scream if anyone else held him for months. It was really depressing. As he got older he came around and is now a mommas boy.
Have your husband feed him more. More skin to skin to get familiar with smell and relating him to a caregiver. Don’t be in range to be smelled lol. Or drape your shirt on dad if all fails. They just need to bond more
He’s still used to your body, mama…he was warm and safe there, so he feels best when you hold him.You’re his comfortable place, favorite smell, etc. He’ll get used to dad, dad just needs to make sure to hold him, talk to him, and carry him as much as possible. Wouldn’t hurt for dad to wear one of your shirts or wrap baby in one of your worn shirts so he has your smell with him. Dad and baby cN do some skin to skin, thats very binding. They just needs to spend lots of time together
Ur bby is scared of him
Baby can sense fear or anxiety when daddy is holding him. My so was terrified with our first born and I told him not to be so scared and nervous when holding him, we also did daddy and baby skin to skin and that really seemed to help as well.
Start wearing your hubbies clothes if you can. If not get an apron or something similar to wear to get your scent on it.
Our 3rd was the same for about 2 months, then he came around and they are pals now. Give them some time to get used to each other.
You’re his mama! Little ones naturally want to be held by mama all day!
Do you breastfeed or bottle feed? Let dad do some feedings possibly!
He’s very young, he has no awareness yet, only instinct. Babies want comfort. So however you give him comfort, dad will have to mimic!
If he can smell you or hear you, he is going to want you! Try to leave the room or the house for a little while and see how it goes
Have daddy do skin to skin and have him talk to him. The baby may recognize his voice.
Skin to skin to get a better bond if you have a recliner have dad take off his shirt, leave baby in diaper and lay on his chest caverns with a blanket, this also counts as tummy time for baby
Drape a shirt you’ve been wearing over dads chest and let baby smell you and dad together.
He’s had a bond with mama for 9 months! You are what he knows most and where he knows he can find the most comfort. It’s normal and ok, he will adjust.
Have your hubby do skin to skin with baby, and have him give the baby a bottle 1-2 times a day just them. He will get used to it
Have your husband wear one of your shirts? With your smell on it
Babies sense when someone is uncomfortable with them. Most men were raised not to play with dolls or pretend household & caretaking tasks like us women were. That feeds into their unconscious & causes a discomfort when around children. Even with your husband trying his trained apprehension is still there. Your son senses it. It’s going to real hard to untrain the damage his parents caused. Or for your son to learn to be ok with being uncomfortable, feeling insecure which is how he feels with him. I wish I had advise for you. However you can fix this with your son by allowing him to be comfortable around babies from a very young age. Let him take care of a doll, play kitchen, cleaning etc. That will allow him to be comfortable with his kids & to be able to take care of himself instead of depending on women to take care of himself.
U were his sanctuary for 9 months. Hed just getting to know dad. Give it some time and patience.
I doubt it’s your case. But my daughter did same thing everytime her bio dad and gf held her… Turns out they was strung out on meth & she sensed it or that something wasn’t right…
Maybe your husband is tense
If he’s a first time dad
He could be naturally tense and baby can feel that
Give him a dirty shirt if yours to last over his shoulder like a burp blanket.
You will be surprised how much he will get used to dad by the time you go back to work. Those few more weeks of development matter. Tell him to breathe and try to enjoy it.
My daughter cried when my mother in law held her. I’m pretty sure it was her voice
Try having him do skin to skin.
It just takes time to adjust he can try rocking him a certain way or just walking with him or give him a binki . He’s a newborn lol I’ve had two and it’s tough but he’ll find out what works for your little guy
Get your hubby and baby to do skin to skin and let baby listen to his heart beat make sure your hubby is calm when they do this and get dad to talk or hum or even sing to baby
Read about the fourth trimester
I remember when my newborn son did this it ended around 4 months and now he prefers his dad for everything. He’s two.
More time with him and he will be ok. Maybe try skin on skin contact, feedings, snuggles.
Have him hold the baby in one of your shirts
Use a shirt that smells like you
Ur husband needs to lay one of your t-shirts on his chest when he holds the baby. The baby will smell you and should calm down
My son is now 5 weeks old. This is our third baby. He was screaming when my husband held him around 2-4 weeks old too. It worried us for when I go back to work as daddy will be staying with him too. My husband just got through this phase with some patience (it wasn’t easy!) and continued to hold him while he was screaming and I was busy. Our son is doing better now with daddy, as long as he is well fed. Both of our other children did this too early on. It will pass!
Did he ever do skin to skin when he was first born?
Babies can tell if he’s nervous and etc. Have him put one of your shirts over his shoulder where the baby’s head is. Also try skin to skin. He needs to bond with the baby.
I raised 4 children and it seems pretty common that the only one a newborn wants is mommy…time,just give it some time!
My baby is almost a month now and this happens sometime it’s just that sometimes baby just needs mommy and that’s okay!! Because sometimes she will scream and just want daddy it’s so new for them they have a preference because they just want to be comfortable
Baby is feeling dad’s anxiety. I do like the 8dea of you wearing your hubby’s clothes, as well, but I think dad just need to relax some too. Babies are much more resilient than we think, aren’t they?
We had this problem with our youngest. She is now 12 months and LOVES her daddy. He’ll grow out of it, I promise. He just prefers mama right now.
Babies can feel our emotions. If dad is nervous or anxious the baby can pick up on that. Try to help him relax when he holds the baby.
Yes,I had issues with my #4 Son,and suddenly my husband lay down with him in his chest and start,moving the baby butt,and it was this SILENT,we didn’t believe it.He remembered that when I had him inside my husband used to do it to me,because I always had contractions,always pain,so he will do that so I can followed asleep.He wants the same thing.Another thing I always live a shirt of mine,and that help too…I wish you Peace and Love…
My son was like this a little. So when my husband would hold him he’d dip his paci in a little sugar water (sweetEs from the hospital) it distracts and comforts. He also did the feedings to help the baby connect his face and smell w/good things. Not just mine.
My daughter was the same,way with her dad. She would,cry and,pull herself away. They grow out of it.
Our 2 year old daughter was the same way with her dad and as she got older she wanted to be with him more and more. Love watching them together
Dad just needs some practice and extra bonding time. That’s all. It’s perfectly natural for new babies to prefer mama. You are all he has known since his conception. Just take a breath (you and dad both) & get some snuggles in. If dad is nervous, baby can tell. Hang in there and it will be fine! Have dad try skin-to-skin and baby wearing. Also, if you aren’t solely nursing, let dad feed him sometimes and talk to him. Those are perfect for bonding!
Your voice is more soothing than your husband’s voice. Just tell your husband to continue trying to hold him and eventually, our son will get used of him.
I personally think the baby is picking up on a new father’s anxiety possibly if he was to have a piece of your clothing with your smell on it start from there I think it will help
Well this baby sences both your stress issues…your husband is tence…and those vibes go to the baby and is reacting …it also knows you are its mother…and is feeling the separation…if you are feeding this from the breast it will have a closeness to its momma…we took our gran.baby to raise at 6mon.old and she would to this to him so I would go away for a few hrs…till she quit crying he would pick her up and walk around with her out side and swing with her…he learned to relax…she became easier …and one he was more confident changing diapers and feeding her and putting her down for a nap… we put a fan on her the sound calmed her…let them cry if they have been fed and are dry…and they don’t have collic it helps develop there lungs pat them on there butt.or rock them…I raise 6
Baby isn’t familiar enough with Dad. Dad needs to spend more time with him.
Babys know who momma is even before birth…they can hear you they know your voice…your smell
Where your husband clothes as much possible…trust me!!!
Have your husband wear one of your shirts or wrap baby in ur shirt that way he feels he’s with you
Skin to skin contact is a good technique as well.
Turn on music in the background that your husband is relaxed to , the baby can sense if hes edged while holding him
Any beard or anything like that maybe it bothers the baby? My hubby had a mustache and my daughter screamed every time till he shaved it
Give it a couple of days, your little guy has decided he is in charge, it will get better😀
Have dad do skin to skin and baby wear. Dad is probably nervous and baby senses that.
All 3 of my babies did this youngest is 7 months.
Tell dad to baby wear!
At Stephanie - my thoughts exactly. Your smell will help and have your husband hold the baby the same positions you do.
Babies feel emot ions… Is the dad maybe nervous, or stressed, or afraid to hurt the baby?? Is this his first time holding a baby?? Sometimes, babies just want their mom, til they get a little older… 1 of my 4 granddaughters was like that…
are you first time parents? babies get a vibe if you’re nervous; try lying him down on his belly and rubbing his back, get to know him and let him get to know you and just try to take it easy; good luck; every baby is different
He’s still adjusting to being outside of YOUR womb. Give it time. It’ll get better
Have Dad do skin to skin. Make sure his cologne or deodorant isn’t too strong smelling. Or even his sweat. Try having Dad hold something you’ve recently warn while he holds baby.
He is use to your heartbeat and your smells… maybe your husband’s cologne is bothering him… or try holding him and just having your husband put his hand on the baby’s back. Get him use to his touches also.
He just wants you that’s all. He’s 3 weeks old. My son did that for awhile but you just gotta keep trying. The more he stresses the baby can sense that and makes it worse.
When my baby did that, we did skin to skin. I know skin to skin can be very calming for babies and it got my son used to my fiancée.
Same problem… My baby is 4 months and just doesnt like to be with his dad… it is super frustrating
Is your baby swalded first? Excellent suggestion, have Dad wear clothes you’ve worn. Have Dad pick up baby with you out of sight. Skin to skin might work if Dad is not hairy.
Try wrapping him in one of your shirts or have dad lay one on his chest
Lay a piece of your clothing that you have worn on the husband. Baby will smell your scent. Works sometimes
Is your husband tense or nervous? The baby will definitely feed off that.
Get your husband to wear one of your tops that you have wore so that it smells like you works wonders he just wants his mummy that’s all
Definitely have one of mama’s used shirts for scent but make sure dad doesn’t have aftershave or cologne on as this could be unsettling to bub. Get dad to stick it out and remain as calm as possible. It can cause dad some anxiety but baby can sense this so just take deep breathes and talk to baby and ride it out. It will pass with time. Good luck.
maybe try having your husband drape one of your shirts over his shoulder or wrap it around the baby when he holds them. That way they have your comforting sent?
I had to go back to work pretty much immediately after having my 1st and that’s what my mom did with my daughter. (I worked overnights so it helped her get to sleep)
It’s normal. Baby only really knows you. He’s probably a little scared. It should get better in time.
Wear one of your husband’s shirts for a good amount of time, then give the shirt to your husband to wear.
If you breastfeed, try pumping some bottles and allowing your husband to feed him. Feeding is a great bonding tool.
I have no answer other than my middle was in my arms until her first birthday. She would not let anyone else hold her and she cried alot in my arms as well but it was worse with anyone else. It was exhausting and emotional for everyone and the hardest year I’ve ever been through she wouldn’t sleep on her own unless we were riding in the car! But at 1 she decided she was ready for the world and opened her circle a little to daddy, grandma, and grandpa. By 4 she would really only talk to myself her sisters and dad. At almost 6 now she had a conversation with the walmart pickup guy about whether Mal from descendants was really bad and shes a complete daddys girl. Things eventually look up it just takes alot of patience they are learning to trust the world around them and some babies are more cautious than others.
Maybe if your husband is tense when holding him he could be picking up on that
Mine did the same. I think they can sense that daddy isn’t wanting them in that moment and I think they get upset over it. Does he have an attitude when he has to help out?
Your husband just needs to spend more time with him. And the baby can feel if he is frustrated
Like so many others have said, a shirt that smells like you. And maybe more time holding him for your hubby. If right now you’re the primary provider (feedings changing bath etc) then that may play a part. Have your hubby at least be there nearly every time you bathe him or change him. Hope this helps!
My middle was the same with her daddy until she was about 6 months then it all switched round.
We tried everything but she was having nine of it
Try wearing one of your husband’s tops for a few hours so it has your smell and then he can wear it
Wear one of your husband’s shirts for a couple hours. Tell ur hubby no cologne or strong soaps. And have him put the shirt your wearing on before he holds the baby
Put a scarf of blouse of yours over your husbands shoulder…the baby will smell your smell on the clothes and will settle…it works !
He may pick up on your husband’s nervousness… Tell him just to relax… And dont let it bother him and keep on keeping on… The baby wl get use to his care and survive… And you need to remain calm and reassure yourself… The baby and the dad that all is ok… Just keep taking care of your baby dad… Baby will adjust
Just gotta keep holding him and get through it. Try different holds, have him use your scent, and just work through it.
Persistence and patience will help a lot.
Spend more time and if he’s a stressed person and not very calm babies can since that to
Awe baby just loves the scent of his mama super lots get dad to put one of your used shirts laid across his shoulder or chest where he holds baby the most
Our daughter was like that after we brought her home. My fiance would hold her and she would cry. But, not when I held her. Have your husband try bare chest time with him. That’s what my fiance did and it worked. Now, she’s almost 6 months old and is a straight up daddy’s girl