My son's dad doesn't spend any time with him: Advice?

My ex lives with me so that he can see his four-year-old son every day, but when he isn’t at work, he spends most of his time in the garage playing the game or watching TV; I try to tell him that he should pay attention to his son & spend time with him properly, but he acts like I’m just trying to start an argument with him all the time, I’m at my wit’s end & am fed up


Sounds like he needs to move out. Don’t let him take advantage of you.


Time for him to find some place to live


Why is your ex living with you? Tell him the if he doesn’t plan on spending time with your son then he needs to find someplace else to live.


Kick him out, he obviously doesn’t care about spending time with the child. Don’t let him take advantage of you and y’all’s situation.


Defeats the purpose of having him there, say adios


Wont spend time with your kid. Would be no different him living there or not.


Who is paying the rent and utilities? If it is you, kick his sorry butt out. You don’t need that kind of example for your son v


He’s using u… or he could at least take his son out to the garage n play with him too

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He has little interest in the boy with the exception of his basic care. Boys need a male role model to learn how to be a man. Same thi g happened to me.

Why would you have your ex live with you? Kick him out!!!


Your ex lives with you because it’s convenient for him. Send him packing! If he wants to invest in your son, he will. He doesn’t need to live with you to do so. You sure as hell don’t need to have to ask him to spend time with him, just to be ignored… in your own house! Let him be a deadbeat dad on his own. Don’t enable it any longer.


He needs move out and give kid a routine and consistency doesn’t work living with ex like that and kids do see it and suffer.i know from experience and my mental health suffered bad

Uh there is no need for him to live with you. He doesn’t have to live with you to see his child. And he isn’t even seeing him. Sounds like he’s just using you.

Tell him to get his own place, no need to live together while not being together. If he wants to see his son he will need to make the effort

Sounds like he’s there for the roof over his head and anything else he can get. :roll_eyes: i hate moochers.


Kick him out, end of ati

Kick him out and den see if he plays daddy then!!!


You can’t force a parent to be a parent because you want them to. If your arrangement was to have him live there so he can see the child more and he isn’t acting on that, you can’t force him to be a Dad but you might as well kick him out.
He’s obviously using you. Kick him out and make room for someone who deserves to be there. You both deserve better then that. You and your son, I mean.


Sounds like he is using you for a place to stay drfinitely time for him to leave! If he has no interest being there he won’t have any interest when he’s living somewhere else!


Kick him to the curb

I’m going to guess he’s not using you im sure if he’s staying and you’re allowing its because its a financial benefit to both of you. You can’t force him to be a father but you can have him move out and setup visitation.

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Kick him out no point of him being there

My son spends his time in the garage with my husband. He tinkers too and helps tighten and work on things. He is 2 and has been “helping” for a year now


You ARE an idiot :roll_eyes: what do you think you should do really?

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You cannot tell a grown man what to do. You can tell your son,“Hey, go play video games with your dad.” Every ex case is different. If y’all living together works, then fine. I am not you and you are not me.

You can’t change him or anybody.if I could have back all the time I wasted trying to change you and your son.

Can’t force someone to do something they don’t want to do even if it’s to see their son. I would kick his ass out of the house.

Sounds like he’s living with you so he has a place to live, not so he can spend time with his son. Kick his ass out.

He doesnt live with you to see his son everyday.
He lives with you for cheap rent and to take advantage of you.
Kick him out.


Tell him to kick rocks since he brings nothing to the table. You don’t need the grief!


Tell him to fuck off darl !! My partner works 7 on 7 off 12 hr shifts and he gets home and still makes time for our kids even though he is soo damn tired !! He drops everything if any of them want anything. You deserve so much better and he isn’t going to change now unfortunately.

I have been in that situation, it’s not good, if you have let him live there because your hoping you can get back with him, stop thinking that right now, you need to get him out and hopefully he will grow up and realise his son is more important than a game, I know how hard it will be, and yes it will cause an argument but he needs to be told some home truths, you are not a doormat, be strong and concentrate on you and your child xx

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I’m sorry your ex is living with you “so he can see his son”? Nah, admit you guys are together and you don’t know how to leave cause that’s more believable.
I’d kick him out. There’s nothing to be done. Tried for my son, they won’t do it if they don’t want.


He needs to go. It’s not healthy for your son or yourself

Least of you worries

Sounds like he needs to get out.

Sounds like it’s time for him to find a place to live


Document it and file for custody you have the proof he doesn’t contribute nor spend time doing activities etc with child, along with booting him he can find someone else to mooch off

He’s only there cuz you allow him to, clearly doesn’t care for his child he’s living his life not paying rent and making you take care of him basically


Nope. You’re not living up to the whole reason you are there. Get out.

Then he shouldn’t be living with you. Sounds like he gets the pleasure of both worlds, he’s single but taken care of by living with you. I’m sure you cook and clean and if he wants to go find him a little ‘sum sum’.

I’ll be blunt with you. You’re playing house with this man and he’s acting accordingly. I’m assuming everyone is always helping to bail him out, trying to help him when in reality it’s hurting him and stunting his growth. you two are either still having sex or being intimate in some way for him to be that comfortable. are you doing all the cooking and the cleaning? Are you doing all the hands on with your child? Are you paying the majority of the bills? Are you two recently broken up like under 3 months? Then you are trying to make things work and hoping he will change. You can’t teach a man to be a father, you can only teach your son. Your ex is not your son. He is a grown adult who hasn’t had to step up because multiple women are always stepping in. You can’t be broken up and still living together imo, it defeats the purpose. That’s just my two cents.


He is not living with you to see the child. Rent must be cheap

I’m in the same boat. My son’s father and I broke up 1yr ago and he moved out. He gets 3 days off a wk and doesn’t visit his son …maybe once a month my son gets. As soon as I notice my son being affected by it, then I’ll put a stop to the dad’s behavior

Live in ex ?? Are you nuts ?

Find out what you need to do to get him out if he won’t leave. Is he on a mortgage or lease? Do you have a contract or is it a handshake deal? Or just give him a date to be out, tell him to save up for his first month’s rent elsewhere, and put his stuff outside and change the locks. Might want some burly friends around on that day.

Keep repeating, “It’s not up for discussion,” and walk away when he tries to argue. Repeat as needed until he’s out. Or sit down with him & express your concerns if you haven’t done so already so he can’t say he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. Have the date of your discussion to throw back in his face, or write out a list for him. Refuse to engage. Yes, this is hard. Practice with friends until you can do it.

You might need the cops, so see what help they can provide under what circumstances.

Get a decent renter if you need the extra money. Hope you are at least getting child support. If not, go back to court. Get counseling if you have trouble letting him go. Therapy is always good.

See what he does on days when he has custody outside your home after he is out. Make sure you have a court-ordered visitation schedule, If he’s super neglectful, you may want to forego child support and just terminate his rights (know what’s involved in your state. Might be abandonment instead). Better to have no dad than one who never or almost never shows up, both physically and emotionally.

I’m sorry. This must be hard for you but you have to be strong and smart for your child. You can do it!

Sounds like he has his cake and eating too

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Simple…don’t let him live with you. Let him figure it out.

there must be another reason lol that cant be the only reason…

Kick his ass to the curb

Listen clearly the agreement is being violated. Talk to him about it give it a lil minute and if he doesn’t start dadding Kick. Him. Out. When he gets visitation with his son he will be forced to pay attention.

Don’t force anything. I’ve learned you can only control what you do and the rest is up to them. Make sure you’re a good mom and make sure that you do your part. The rest is beyond your control. I wasted so many years trying to force my boys dad to be a dad. All the arguments and fussing with him were pointless. It was literally just wasted time and energy. It didn’t change him not one bit. He passed away last year. They never got to build a decent relationship with him. :disappointed:
Plus, dude needs to get his own place. That would just make things even more strained. Or at least I would think. How do you move on with your life if your ex is still there? :woman_shrugging:t2:


He might as well get his own place! If he can’t afford it, then it’s obvious that he is using you for a place to live and not so he can spend time with his child😏


He needs to go, you can’t make him be an active parent. That’s just disturbing your peace!


Nah fuck that…
Ur providing a roof over his head for him to spend time with his son and hes not doing that?? Get him gone hun…
Hes milking you for the benefits (house etc) and ur allowing him to do so…
Kick him to the kerb and if he wants to spend time with his boy he will…
Good luck xx

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Sounds like he lives there for convenience that only benefits him.


This situation does not have a quick answer.
Suggestions: Try finding out if they have a Common interest

Try to find something the can do together
Like Building or Fishing, Chess, Checkers, Art, Books, Hiking.

Also maybe they could Cook together or Go Camping.

Sounds like he just needs a place to stay! Tell him he’ll have to find someplace else!

Needs to leave he is not going to spend any time with his son.


Why are you providing a roof over the head of a boy who doesn’t care? If he cared, he would demonstrate it. Kick him out, file for child support and let him do him. You have a son to raise and support, you don’t need to raise and support anyone else.


Bye bye ex he may get mad and not see him at all. But you need to move on and start your life, with a new start. Maybe you will find someone who wants to be your husband and your sons life.


Pray that God will give him a fathers love for his child, pray don’t nag! Prayer always works.

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If the point of him living there is so he can see his son, simply tell him that is the reason that you let him live there and if he’s not going to spend time with his son then he needs to get out


Mistake 1. Your ex lives with you.


Kick him out and sue for Child Support

He should be an ex for a reason and no ex should be living with you…

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If he isn’t keeping time with the boy,why is he there?

Time to go! Why does your ex live there?

Fuck that shit I’d be packing his shit and moving on if he’s your ex he shouldn’t be living with you it’s spells disaster unless you get sex.

Well the problem is your EX LIVES WITH YOU. …

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Unfortunately some men think that being in the same house equals quality time. The only way he will learn is if he moves out.


Maybe let him know the reason for him staying in your household was to be able to spend more time with his son and if he doesnt spend more time with him then he is out because there is no reason for him to stay.


If ge is only living there so he can spend time with his son then ask him to move out. He’s not making the most of the opportunity he has.

I would kick him out. Like pack his shit when he at work and drop it off at good will. Change the locks and act like he never lived there. File for child support and spend all the money on entertainment for my child.


I would say he needs to go! My ex never apent time with our kids when we were married but I left and I set the days for him to take kids…otherwise he would never have gotten them!
Besides he prob just wants to stay there so he knows exactly what ur doing :thinking:

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Kick him out asap … never should have him moved in if he’s an ex

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Find other male role models. Teachers. Coaches. Big Brother/Big Sister.

Kick him out! No one deserves to be used!! :unamused:

Get rid of the lazy f…

Kick him out you are being used

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Bro, boot him out! This is a no-brainer!

You know the answer to your troubles…you can NEVER change a person, they need to come to that on their own, if ever. As long as you are giving your all to your baby, ftw…they will have to mend their own faults.

You are only a meal ticket
A maid
A laundry
And some one to bitch to
it to the curb

Kick him the fuck out

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He needs to go get his own place. The effort needs to be his if he wants to be there not yours. That also means not changing your future schedules to accommodate him or block him. Your ex or any man is not your child to be directed. While your opinion may be great, the expectation for that being followed should be zero because he is a grown adult and not your kid. He had his own parents.

It is not your responsibility if your ex chooses to have a relationship or not with your child.

He need to find his own place

Put him out the door