My sons father felt he had a right to cheat on me: Advice?

So I found out my sons father cheated on me after I had the baby a few times. I confronted him about it he didn’t deny it he said he was sorry that he knows he f’d up. Yes he did. We’ll today we were talking about something and I brought up his cheating and he says “it’s not about you, it’s about my son, I provide for my son” what the hell does that mean?? Because in my understanding of what he said is: I cheated on you but it’s ok because I provide for my son, I don’t care about you. Sooo you think you have a right to cheat?? Which the only thing he provides is a roof over his head which is good but not everything. And he was drunk when he said that.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sons father felt he had a right to cheat on me: Advice?

Pack his bags and send him on his way!

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If that your understanding I’d ask for clarity and if that’s what he legitimately means take his disgusting ass to court and have him be the cash cow he wants to be

Hes tryna justify it to brainwash you into thinking it’s okay.

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He thinks you’re privileged to be with him? Cuz that’s what it sound like :joy::rofl: girl kick him out.

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Stop throwing it in his face. You all talked about it and looks like you’re still together. Either suck it up or leave.

Tell him bye, pack his bags

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He’s not sorry if he truly was he would be doing everything in his power to right his wrongs. I would send him on his way bc he’s not sorry and will keep doing it.

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Time for a Get It Right Convo.
This Stops Here, Or…
If You’re Prepared For Or…

Sounds like he’s saying he’s staying with you for his son.

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Leave him. He’s still cheating and in his narcissistic way justifing it by money he provides.

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He’s a clown. It’s time to move on.

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Kick his cheating dog arse to the curb… but cover YOUR ASSets first… that’s what I did… and my life now I am living happily everafter… once a cheater… always a cheater

Let him provide for his son from afar. He just told you who he was…

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If providing for his son is the only thing he cares about then he can do so in the form of checks every month and not worry about getting called out for cheating on you.

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Move on or forgive him and make the best out of the situation. Ppl know deep down inside that they need to do. You’re the only one that knows him in and out. It’s your choice. When shows you their colors believe them the first time.

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leave. he’s using the fact that he provides as an excuse to be a dick. that’s not ok. tell him he can still provide for his son, but you will no longer be together.

Staying together for the kids is not admirable without mutual respect.

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Well I would appreciate that he didn’t deny it and acknowledged that he f***ed up. Why did you bring it up again? I am confused sounds like there is more to this story then whats being told. If in fact that is what he is saying then yes that is messed up and I would be leaving, but if that’s not what he actually said and you are just taking it as that is what he said I would think you need to have a talk with him and see what he actually meant by that.

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Sounds like he is only with you for the kid and convenience. Men like that suck. You feeling betrayed over him cheating is valid. Don’t let him make you think you deserve anything less than a completely loyal man.

If the conversation was about your son and you made it about him cheating this makes sense.

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A right to cheat? Are you for real?

He knows he fucked up, he is twisting it to make him sound less like a POS. If you give it time I guarantee he will start gaslighting you and being manipulative… prob cheating more and using drinking as the excuse for being a fuck up.

If you have the means to, I’d find a way to leave

You’ll be crazy to still be with him.

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Throw the whole dude away. Complete dumpster fire :fire::rofl:

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Are you together? If you are why won’t you just say boyfriend and my sons father. What I read is he’s your sons father is the only connection to you or you two are still fwb, and you were upset he slept with other people. If he is your boyfriend leave him if hes cheating. If he is just your sons father only well he can sleep who he wants. If you to are friends with befits, either make it official or move on before you get to emotionally attached and he doesn’t and you really get hurt.

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He will just continue to cheat since he feels it’s justified. You should leave and not waste anymore of your time.

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A drunks words are what he means when he’s sober

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Drunk words speak sober thoughts!

Everyone who cheats, thinks they have the “right” to cheat.

I would say that he can provide for his son from a distance. Tell that man to kick rocks! Y’all can co-parent, but him cheating and then justifying his cheating would be the end of the relationship.

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He should only have to tell you one time…. So since it’s about his son and his son only move around that way he can do as he pleases and so can you

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Sounds like the relationship is dead.

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Let him be leave him alone

He told you exactly how he feels!

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Just leave. Problem solved.

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F him. What a selfish self serving ass. What if you cheated on him. “I provided you with a son”. Doesn’t seem to have any love for you. Leave him and find someone who loves and respects you.

Girl im so sorry your even feeling that pain. Idc if he provided everything, it gives him no right to betray you like that or speak out of turn to you like that. An from what you said. My interpretation of that was your feelings don’t matter, just that he provides for his boy. From experience, it’s not always best to stay for the child. But if you think and want to fix whatever is going on personally I’d say something about couples counseling. If he truly loves you he’ll do it just because he loves you and wants it to work. Another thing I learned is to communicate and talk about what happened, but not to bring it up over and over afterwards. It tends to make things Tougher. I hope everything turns around and everything works out as it’s meant to. :pray:t3:🫶🏼

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If you are still together dump him. And he will probably do it again since he doesn’t see anything wrong with it really. If he thinks providing gives him the go ahead to cheat.

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You keep saying your son’s father….but not your husband, bf, significant other. You left out one big key piece of info here. Are you together or not? If you are not together, he’s not cheating on you, whether he is your sons father or not, if you are together, then you need to leave him. But from what you are saying, it doesn’t sound like you are together so you can’t get mad if you aren’t,

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Previews are a good way to decide if you want to bother seeing a movie, I think you know this is a shitshow with no happy ending for you, maybe some more heartbreak and a possible std sounds like a storyline for some, but I think you should give it 2 thumbs down and leave the theater

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I feel like whole big ass piece of information is missing

Boy BYE! Next stop would be an attorney and child support. He clearly has zero respect for you and your relationship.

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Time to move on. He cheated, leave and give yourself peace. If you do everything for the kid except for a roof over his head then go get another roof over your head’s and leave his dad under his own roof. He can have him on his time and you can move on with your life and not be stuck dating a cheater.

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Alright bye bitch. Get out of there or kick his ass out. He stated he does not care for you.

If you have a brain you will Leave

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Girl, no. You need to find your worth. If you stay with someone who cheated on you to that extent you have every right, EVERY right, to say and do whatever you wanna do. If it makes him feel a type of way? Good! He deserves it. Don’t let him gaslight you, manipulate you, make you feel bad, etc. Keep a strong mind and fight back until he feels so bad that he literally begs for forgiveness. You got this.

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That means he want to be their for his son and not you I’m sorry but leave leave leave leave it’s gonna hurt but he does not love you or care for you

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If you are not together, than you have no reason to keep bringing it up to him. If you have chosen to stay together and let things go, unless he is cheating again, you should not be bringing it up to him because you chose to move on. No one likes their past brought back up over and over. He messed up, he can’t change it now. It shouldn’t have happened but you can’t go back.

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If you are working. I would move out. He will have to pay support for your son. You don’t need or deserve the disrespect. Look at the whole man and be a better judge of character. Real men would not disrespect you like that. Don’t think your not good enough for the best. Only find the best. They will treat you and your children the way they should be.

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People say what they feel when they are drunk. It doesn’t sound like he has feelings for you.

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Doesn’t matter if he was drunk or not. He TD you exactly how he feels. He isn’t there for you, he is there for his son. If a relationship is what you want, look elsewhere.

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That’s meaning he’s only with you for the kid.

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Yeah. He doesn’t feel any remorse. And never will. Choose your path. And walk down it.

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Drunk or not, that shxt wouldn’t fly. I have NO respect for men that cheat on women during pregnancy AND after. Those type of m3n are pure trash. No excuses, no exceptions.

Why you staying? Either stop complaining about it and leave or stop complaining about it and stay. He’s only staying cause of his son and not because of you his feelings for you are gone. Yeah y’all may still be doing the deed but that’s cause he knows you’ll give it to him. He knows you won’t kick him out either (obviously). So now you need to decide whether you going to stay or leave. Don’t stay with him just cause y’all got a son together

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He told you his true feelings on the matter. Throw the trash out girl. Boy :wave:

He said what he meant and you need to believe him. You’re with him he not with you so move on.

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Its upto you of course but id think of moving on you deserve better

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You are reading what he said, right! He is very disrespectful! You brought this child into this world! You did and are doing the hard part! Shame on him! I know others just like him!

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Drunk ppl tell the truth, walk away now , he’s there for your child your better off without him

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When someone shows you who they are BELIEVE them the FIRST time!!

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Gross, so he thinks he has every right to treat you however because he pays rent?? TF? No. Kick him to the curb and collect child support.

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So your husband/boyfriend

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You are being abused. You are more than a baby mama . If this is a legal union, you have grounds to end it in your favor.

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He just showed you his true colors. Listen to him!

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Speaking from experience, he meant what he said. He means, he is looking at the situation in an afyer tall split way, bc him cheating, doesn’t make him less of a “provider” and “father” when in reality, no child wants their father to do anything less than love and respect their mother, that’s if they stay together or not.

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are you actually together? you say son’s father rather than husband/partner? If you are together then no it’s not right but if the only link is your son then…?

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Leave, he’s not sorry.

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He’s telling you exactly how he feels…you’re not listening. Wake up and go your on way

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Absolutely he doesn’t love you or his son.

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This is a weird situation. You call him the father of your son, not your husband or boyfriend… so it’s not clear what your relationship is to begin with… however the fact that his response is that he provides for his son (not you) and that it’s not at all about you, is as clear as this post. … very strange situation. Regardless, I’m gonna say leave!! Whatever the situation is, he dosen’t care for you at all. Not in the slightest!

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Thats his wife he’s seeing behind your back, you’re the side-thing w/attachments.

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Sounds like he’s only with you so his son can have a family, which is the absolute WRONG reason to be with someone. Your son doesn’t need to see unhappiness and deceit modeled for him for a relationship. If he’s really about his son he needs to man up and leave. Show his son how to be a real grown up.

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Don’t bother talking things over with a drunk.

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Sounds like he’s only with you because of your son

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Leave him. He doesn’t love you or his son.

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Leave him. Get out now. End of story.

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Sounds like to me he wanted the baby not you you need to get on girl wrong with your life it’s not worth something

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Know your worth girl!:purple_heart:

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Get rid of him u deserve better

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Drunk or not who TF he think he is???
He is expressing his honest self and he wont change. Behaviour will continue and he will keep thinking as long as his kid is taken care of, I can do what I want, when I want, she isn’t gonna leave… Hasn’t yet…
BYE FELICIA… Dont need that with a new bubs and definitely wouldn’t want that perspective on relationships influence around my child…
Your son needs a REAL father figure… A Real man to imitate and you deserve that man’s full love and devotion, especially after having his child…

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I’d dump him. He can provide for his son and being a single ahole

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Cheat right back because like he said he’s only there to provide for your son… GO DO YOU AND FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU AND YOUR CHILD! BET HE WON’T LIKE THE FEELING!!!

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Cheaters don’t change. Their life is very carefully constructed around their lies to the point where they loose track of truth and begin to believe themselves.

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