My sons father has never fully been in his life but now after 14 years asked to be more a part… advice?

My sons father has never fully been in his life but now after 14 years asked to be more a part. :partying_face:

Background. I was with him for a year then I found out I was pregnant. He was unfortunately cheating on me when I found out I was pregnant. I left him and moved back home. He married that girl 2 years after and adopted her daughter who is a year older than SD (our son not his initials but using it for anonymous purposes) And had two more kids with her. Things happen.

Since. He has FaceTimed SD twice in his life and he was younger than 5 both of those times. They have never texted each other, FaceTimed or spoke on the phone after that. Although I’ve always dreamt of them meeting in person, it just never worked out.

I have always asked, since he was born, if we could drive halfway from each-other (at times he was stationed 12 hours or less from us) or I would fly us out to him (when he was stationed overseas or across the country), he would make promises to meet and or we would make plans (I would purchase plane tickets for our son and i) but he would never follow through, give excuses why he couldn’t meet and then ignore us for months/years at a time. It was heartbreaking to say the least especially for SD. After the first time of missed plans, I never wanted to tell SD about plans for meeting again until we actually met. Throughout SDs entire life Ive always sent photos, videos, life updates and messages of his fun vacations, first everything’s and experiences. SD is now 13 and I reached out to him again last week to send him fun photos of SDs two recent Caribbean trips (they both happened within a month) and Christmas photos. He responded and said he would like to figure out a way to be involved and asked what he’d like for his birthday. He’s sent him two small Lego sets for Xmas in 2015. I was so happy for those I even saved the receipt (he ordered them to Walmart and had me pick them up). Another time in 2018 I had asked him to sign passport papers so we could go to Canada. We were also going on a road trip that I had told him about. He sent him about $50 worth of gift cards for fast food places and the form I needed along with a message saying ‘have fun on the road trips I’ve been on a few and these will help.’ In 2021 he Venmo’d me $75 to give to our son to ‘invest’ (he knew how much SD liked investing). Which was super sweet of him. I am beyond excited for the possibility of this meet and I know SD will be too. I just don’t want to get his or my hopes up. SD has 3 younger half siblings that he has never met and he was raised an only child with me.

I am most likely over thinking everything… I’m just anxious, excited, happy, nervous, scared for SD. What are some ways we could make a meet happen? Suggestions on where/how to meet? How to introduce?

I gave him SDs cell number to maybe communicate a little to break the ice. I know if I asked SD he would say sure to meet. I know deep down he would love to meet him. They are twins in almost every way. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:He is stationed 10 hours away right now and I would be more than willing to drive to his location or meet halfway. Or should I not be at their first meet? I won’t say anything to SD yet. Because I don’t want to get his hopes up to be let down again. I left the ball in his dads court as I have always.

Any suggestions would be great. Praying his dad actually follows through this time. :pray:t2::pray:t2: Thanks for your time