Switch schools if you can! Lots of public schools (at least in TN) will let you go to schools outside your zone, you usually just have to apply and provide transportation. Look at the public schools around you and read their handbook. Find out their discipline style and find one that suits you and your family better!
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Did your child do anything to the other child first? I only ask because I know alot of times things are provoked. I teach mine not to take any shit and if a child doesnāt stop after they tell the teacher then they are to give the same treatment back. I also know sometimes my child can be a provoking little shit so if a kid gets him back then so be it. We try and teach our children right from wrong but unfortunately they donāt always choose the right thing especially when a parent/teacher is not around.
Kayla Smith please reach out to the school super
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I had this exact problem with my 4 now 5 yr old last year. I swear his teacher singled him out. Some boy ripped a huge chunk out of his hair and busted his lip. And of course unless it was my son hitting, it wasnt even seen or mentioned. I lost it on the teacher and principal. After that for some reason, the problems stopped and my sons attitude they were talking about every day just stopped. I moved him to a new school this year and hes doing great!!!
I went through the same thing 
it was awful. They tried to convince me that my son was adhd (even though I had taken him to the youth mental health center for multiple evaluations and counciling appointments, who all said heās just an active kid and wasnāt adhd) the teacher was outside every day it seemed like. We eventually moved and switched schools and it was the best decision I ever made. He has been thriving and not one teacher (weāve been here 4 years now) has reached out or suggested my kid needs put on medication or is adhd. Itās amazing and has made such a difference in our and his life.
Definitely call the school. Actually I would go up to the school and talk to them face-to-face.
Schools really do suck anymore. I see it often, a kid being picked on or bullied trying to defend themselves by pushing back or just getting loud and those kids are the ones getting in trouble. It really is awful seeing these Schools protecting the bully and not the one being picked on.
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I had the same.issue with my son. He was deemed a ābad kidā and was constantly being wrote up for the most bizarre thingsā¦ as time went on he ACTUALLY fit into the role. But now that weāve switched schools everything is actually normal. No phone calls. No notes home. Sometime schools make the kids misbehave with the way the teachers treat them.
Try switching schools.
Go higher have meeting with principal board of education . Have your son and all the other parents there.
My sonās school does the same thing. Two weeks ago he threw up twice in class and they didnāt even call me and tell me and when he got home he had a fever!! This is what I did: Go to the superintendent and file a complaint!!!
Welcome to the public school system! They pick and chose their favorites. I homeschool my children and would never send them back.
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Put a recorded in his back pack.
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Good luck. My brother use to get suspended all the time, even at that age, just for defending himself. Do you think the offender got the same treatment though? Course not.
This happened to my daughter in preschool, she has ADHD and cannot sit still or stay quiet during nap time, she also has a hard time with social cues and the teachers were always tattling on her. Then the last year she went a new kid started to become the biggest problem at the school. He was always picking on the other kids, hitting kicking and biting not just my daughter but other kids too. The school even has a a three strike policy which they never implemented with him. The teachers never told me about the bullying, my daughter always told me tho every day that she was hit. I asked the teachers about it and they always brushed it off and said things like oh we canāt use names and talk to you about other children. So I noticed his mom would walk through the parking lot of my Job ( my job was less than a quarter mile from the school) so I stopped her one day and told her in the nicest way possible that her son was picking on my daughter and putting his hands on her and I asked his mom to speak with him, SHE THEN BRUSHED ME OFF! She also got all snappy and rude with me. The teachers at the daycare also werenāt doing their job to the fullest and kept forgetting to put sunscreen on my daughter when they went outside and also didnāt make sure she had water. I litterly picked my daughter up and at 4 years old she was crying because she didnāt have any water. I felt like I failed her putting her in that daycare where not only was she bullied for months but also they couldnāt provide basic needs like water. I withdrew her from there and quit my job so I could take care of her.
This shit does happen, unfortunately. Now, what color is he? Because that also does matter. (It shouldnāt matter) but racism is still alive, and Iāve seen it with my own eyes. Definitely talk to the teachers.
This stuff happened to me as a kid, constantly in trouble for absolutely nothing, even though I was being physically bullied.
If the principal or teacher doesnāt do something, you calmly let them know that youāll be taking your complaints to the school board if they are not willing to address them. Theyāll snap out of it real quick.
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Iāll be devils advocate here -
You mentioned that every day your son gets a report. Only today he brought up that heād been kicked or that is an ongoing thing?
As parents we want to believe itās never our kid. You even note they report what he did but not āwhat the other kid didā like it would excuse behavior reports, how do you know they arenāt speaking to other parents just the same and reporting all behavior? Guess I donāt understand the feeling of him being targeted. Maybe there is more to it.
When my youngest was in first she and this other little girl were just oil and water. Shed complain about her every day and I finally had enoughā¦ yea I marched into a meeting with the teacher and the principal ready to raise hell. Well as it turns out my daughter was just as guilty as the other girl. (Upon pushing she was honest about it- ābut she made meā was the lead off) They both instigated, both retaliated on the otherā¦. Iāll be totally honest I had not even thought about her being as at fault 
āshe must be defending herselfā. Nope.
Now that all being said that meeting was a great one, we started getting more on the same page as a team and worked on the problem together. Took a couple months but we did eventually move beyond it. So I do think itās time for you to sit down, just from experience my advice would be to go in with an open mind. No resolution comes from not recognizing our own children act out. And thatās totally normal - doesnāt make them bad kids. They are learning.
Remember-
They donāt speak to parents about what another child does so other kidās parents are likely getting the same talks.
You are assuming the teacher knew he was kicked but clearly there wasnāt an injury, Iād understand if his lip was busted or swollen. But maybe she wasnāt there at recess or didnāt see it. Maybe she did know, maybe she did talk to the other kids parents.
The VPs job isnāt to bash a teacher but to investigate, hold him to that.
Iād give the teacher a daily report - start keeping a calendar and keep an open mind when discussing it.
Good luck. It sucks all around to deal with this stuff
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Girl you go to principal, teachers and donāt stop or it wonāt stop
I had this issue with my oldest. I switched schools.
I would get him into a new school, also if they want to treat your child like that. Call the news and ask them to do a story about it.
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Did they tell the other kids parents? Do they tell the other kids parents when itās your kid who hurt someone? Thatās where I would start.
Id switch schools . Once they get labeled it follows them to every teacher and they never get a chance
Id also have a meeting with the head teacher and tell her youre reporting the school to the education authorities. The school have a duty of care to all children attending
Sounds like my my son, same age too. Honestly I am more concerned of his mental health than what others reporting to me. As a parent, our kids rely on us to protect them and look after their needs and safety.
With Covid and his first time attending school, it was new and hard for him but heās a trooper. I will always gets notes from school daily for his bad behaviour not a good one. The School backyard is in behind our house and the last straw was when I look out on the window on their break time and it seems he was put into the corner while other kids were playing. Maybe heās misbehaving but it wasnāt put on the note/report. I observed during online learning during the lockdown that he do well and really participating. So we decided to transfer him to different school. So far no bad reports, heās happy going to school and coming home from school. This new school send pictures and videos everyday to parents in the same class and I see my son participating in activities and interacting well with other kids and teachers. I believe if my kid is happy and comfortable with his teachers then he will learn more. I mentioned to the new school and daycare that the best approach to him is by listening, firm positive directions and inclusion.
As a mother of two grown kids I will say a couple things
One is never have a strong conversation with his teacher or principal in fr8nt of him , he need to respect them as much as possible to be able to trust and learn from them . I would ask to speak without your son present then say what you need to freely as a mom to advocate for your son.
Second schools , teachers ect are only tools you can choose to use to educate your child. You are responsible for his education so if a tool works then it can be invaluable but if it doesnāt dont use it plain and simple. Make sure to let them know that with all respect. Sometimes teachers think they are the ones in charge of your childās education and they are not .
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I am so sorry this is happening. That school is obviously ok with bullying. Try to see about a different school if possible.
I emailed my 5 year olds teacher for the same thing. I told her I need more context and an incident report which she claimed she didnāt have time to fill out but had time to write me a note saying my child pushed & hit someone. My child said they were taunting her & I emailed her teacher & asked to know what led up to the incident bc my child has never been physical before but we do teach her to stand up for herself period. If someoneās messing w my child the teacher should know before it gets to point of my child getting physical. Annoying as hell.
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Switch teachers. I swear, myself and all of my siblings all had at least one. Just one that absolutely did not like us for whatever reason. Would call home every single day over the most meaningless petty crap too
I would change school. They are setting him up for failure. its sad.
Make sure that you get an incident report every time someone puts their hands on him. The office is supposed to be keeping records and making reports.
I went through this with my son until I just completely lost my cool with them. I kept writing everything down for a couple weeks. What they said and what my kid said. The next refferal that came his way I slammed that notebook down on the desk demanding why this or that had happened to my son but nothing being done but when he did something it was a big deal. I threatened to take my notebook to a lawyer and somehow they got this act right attitude. Every year Iām direct with the new teacher. I tell them what the situation has been and how it needs to be addressed with me and my son. The principal has my number on speed dial and calls me over everything now. Good or bad. I mad my point clear that I wasnāt going to allow my son to be pushed around by students or faculty that ādidnāt care for himā. Some years are harder than others depending on the teacher but when they have been given every means of contact for situations and they just blow me off I have a leg to stand on.
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I would have pop someoneās fucking face in if that happened to my child. and I wouldnāt even be sorry for it. Report it to the school board.
Nip this in the bud immediately. Same thing happened to someone I know and it just kept escalating from year to year until we finally had to get the school board involved
My son hit someone in kindergarten. They told me and my son had to write letters to the kid, his parent and the teacher. Sometimes the action we want to happen just takes a few days for others to work out what they did. 5 year olds are hard and sometime bad everyday.
You seem like you might be a bit much. You probably think your kid is being singled out and so does every other parent of a kid that misbehaves alittle. Switch schools if you really want to but its likely a bunch of 5 year olds that just need to adjust to school life and need time.
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Get the police involved and call higher up
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My daughter did this I found out she was getting bullied and beat up and school by two boys who were a staff members children and that her teacher was singling her out every single day she would keep my daughter in the class to do school work because she wasnāt as smart as the other kids and let them go to recess every single day the only break my daughter got was lunch recess !! I caught the teacher yelling and belittling my five year old daughter one day when I was picking her up !!! I was behind a corner I could hear her talking and then I saw it was my daughter crying her eyes out she would cry and scream every morning that she didnāt want to go to school her entire personality changed went to the school board and they claimed none of this was happening immediately removed my daughter from that school she also came home covered in blood the school never called nothing the two boys broke her nose !!! I tried to file a report but since the school refused to document it at all i couldnāt do anything she will never go back !!! Her new school was amazing she loves school get up before her alarm sheās always happy after school doesnāt cry all the time no more inexplainable marks on her !!! Get your kid out of that class or school immediately do what ever you can go to school early donāt let them know you are their try to supervise class I also went to recess and saw a lot I would recommend trying to at least figure it out immediately
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You go momma!!! Donāt let up done let them get an inch of a word in!!! I felt the same vibe and I finally shut it down myself. You are your childās voice! Even if he is rough. They are to work with you to help him navigate his emotions. Not label him!! 
. Sending powerful mom vibes!!
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Schools these days are the worst for things like this. It is ridiculous they nit pick our children and then when we need to be notified about something we never are.
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Be calm, but definitely support your son. That teacher sounds like she isnāt doing right. He is only 5.
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I dealt with this when my youngest was in kindergarten. This is my suggestion. Move your kid out that classroom, ASAP.
I was very naive and caught on late. Also, I FAILED to move my son out her class.
My sons (3) went to a predominantly white school. Never saw any problems. My son was treated differently and the teacher did exactly what you said. Sometimes she would not acknowledge and other times she would. A kid puts rocks on the top of my sonās head. When my son hit him, he was the only one punished. Second incident-The teacher says, Chris has a permission slip in his bag for a field trip. Next day, in front of parents dropping off their kids, I say, Ms. Whatever, there was no permission slip in his bag. She says, the only way he can go on the field trip is if a parent comes, because last time, he tpād the bathroom. She embarrassed me and my son and never reported anything like this to me. My son denied it.
Now 30 years later, I still regret keeping my son in that class. Move him
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Keep telling your son you believe him when you doā¦we faught this for yearsā¦itās very hard on kids. Prayers 
Iād change schools or see if your state allows Pods for homeschooling.
Hell, if you were near me, set up the homeschool and drop him off. Iād do it for you.
Switching teachers wonāt do mich if heās labeled at the school and it will follow him until he leaves.
That said, let them know, in no uncertain terms, this behavior is not going to be tolerated. You want proof the child was punished. You demand to have incident reports if they call you about your child again. They better include what led up to it.
Talk to your child about walking away and letting an adult know if there is a problem. If they do nothing, ask your child, email them and ask why tf not? 
I got to the point, if anyone touches my daughter again, Iām coming back with the police.
Stand up for your child bc no one else will.
(We homeschool now bc I am so over the dumb mess with public schools)
I would email that teacher. The vice principal. The principal. The school counselor. And then the school board directors.
Make sure you put in the email everyone you have emailed. And ask to schedule a meeting with everyone. Let them all know about the situation. What happened with said teacher about how she handled letting you know about said incident. And you want something done about it.
The way she handled it was so wrong. It dont matter what lead up to the incident. An incident report should have been done. A call should have been made. Then the vice principal was out of line as well.
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Good, he needs to know mommy is in his corner!
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You go, mama. We have to advocate for our kids and sometimes teachers are in the wrong. Get ALL the info and then go in and sort that shit out.
Trigger warning$sexual assault***
Same thing happened to me as a child. In high school I was only 15 yrs old and a 19 yr old boy would pin me down and put his hand in my pants on a daily basis. I finally got fed up with it and cracked him over the head with a lunch tray. But guess who the school blamed? Me. Nothing happened to him, but I got suspended for 5 days and had to spend another 5 days in in school suspension. Oh and guess who was the person who was the teacher for the in school suspension. His football coach. Made for a very miserable 5 days. Let me tell ya what.
But it was worth it, cuz that boy never bothered me again.
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I had the same problem with my daughter so we changed schools and she has never had any issues at the new school. Actually the new school pulled me into the office to tell me that they didnt have any problems with my daughter and they believe the teacher was the one making the problems for my daughter at her old school. Hope this helps
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I had this same issue ALL last yr in Pre K. We lasted 2 wks into Kindergarten and I withdrew him to homeschool him. Heās doing sooo much better. The school did not want to be bothered with him and expected to basically be seen and not heard.
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I understand that frustration you feel. I had to step on a few people as my kids were growing up. A few important questions though. Did your son report it to when it happened ? Was the teacher around? Was it in class or at recess? Who was around? All questions you need to know. Make sure your son knows to always report things like this. You need to be armed with those answers when the system asks them. Stay calm. Remind them when your child is at school. It is their responsibility to protect them. I also called the school superintendent when I did not get my answers. The problem was resolved then.
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This has happened to my kids on many occasions. Be THAT parent. No one is going to advocate for your son best but YOU. Donāt stop writing emails. Ask to observe the class. Ask why your son wasnāt given an ice pack. Do all the things you need to do to make sure the communication is open and honest.
** I would ask IF the parents of the kicker were notified? **
If yes than maybe they just call the parents of the child doing the negative behavior. If No the other childās parents werenāt called then Iād surely like an explanation of why. It may be hard but being calm and respectful while addressing the issue is most definitely going to yield better results and set a better example for your son.
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Change his classroom NOW. This teacher will not get better, especially after being reprimanded or embarrassed. Start over with a clean slate and a new teacher. If that doesnāt work you may have to change schools.
Id be livid. You go momma!!!
Put a restraining order on the kid. They will try to tell you not to do it. But simply do it and in end it will pay off press charges for assault on the other child as well.now days school will cover it up
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Donāt play games with your child. You are his only advocate. Your instincts are 100% your que. Call the super intendant and let them know what is going on if you arenāt getting any help from the school. Even if it means changing schools then do what you gotta do momma. Itās you and him against the world
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As a child who was always bullied with the bullies mom being a bigger bitch, the school literally told us they would rather me be suspended than deal with my bully and her mom which we had a 100% chance of winning the harassment case. My school said it would be to much on them to deal with herā¦meaning sheās to much of an issue and yeah your being bullied and harassed every day but just deal with it.
No joke, I would send my child to a different school. Your son is way to young to be having to deal with this type of bias behavior from a teacher. This is so wrong on so many levels and for the VP to even be making excuses is unprofessional. My child comes first, always! This can really affect your childās emotional and mental health. This also will make him a target for bullying from the teacher and other students because well no one is there that WILL stop it. Shame on all the adults (not you) at that school allowing all of this to happen.
You know they will stick up for the teacher at your meeting. Hopefully youāll find a better class he will fit into better.
Just wondering if your in oklahoma because this sounds just like okcps Iām sorry but oklahoma school suck. Iām sorry your dealing with this but if nothing is done take it above their heads to the school board.
Record everything thatās been said, write down when each phone call or meeting Is and what exactly was said and save all emails
Had a similar issue with my son in daycare. They were quick to call me when my son misbehaved, but could never tell me why. My son had never been violent and only acted out when he felt the need too. My son was bitten by another child but even with all their staff and cameras, no one caught what happened. Needless to say, I figured out why my son was getting into fights at daycare. Another child was picking on him, hitting him and apparently biting him. I never got another call about my son again after I showed the daycare owner pictures of the bite marks my son was getting under their care and explaining to them that my son knows to protect himself so to keep a better eye on him if they donāt want him acting out.
I understand itās like headbutting a brick wall at times
Sometimes littles have trouble acclimating. He may be using his hands and not words. He also may not be emotionally ready for school. If heās in trouble daily for his behavior itās only natural to assume another child fought back. Always try to back the teacher up when possible because if you donāt your child will learn to make excuses for his bad behavior and it will become a pattern. Schedule a conference with his teacher and the principal and see whatās going on.
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I know itās not for everyone, but itās a solid solution: homeschool. Or just pull him out of kinder. In California kindergarten isnāt mandatory.
The school system is failing our kids, and this generation of kids are so smart! They can basically teach themselves!
In the end, you always know whatās best for your child.
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Sometimes going through things like this helps them with life lessons. You will talk to him and let him know this isnāt right. Yes go to the principle, teacher. But changing his schools doesnāt mean it will fix things. Prayer always helps me calm down to speak of concern not anger.
You stand up for child! You can report them for child abuse! Your child is a GOOD BOY AND DESERVES BETTER. Teach him that he is worthy of LOVE!
Thatās it momma take a stand for your boy. Been there when my son was in kindergarten he got suspended a total of 21days because they always blamed him made me put him in counseling and on meds granted heās ADHD but I know my son he wouldnāt just randomly be mean to someone for no reason. So since then I have turned into a momma bear at his school. They have labeled him as the ābad kidā and they find it easier to just blame him instead of getting the whole story. No one is going to look out for your child the way you do. We have to advocate for our children and be their voice. Donāt stand down. Push back. You got this
The bigger the deal you make it, the more they will listen. Tell them that you have a case and if it doesnāt get fixed, you will pursue it. Do not back down. Express every concern and everything to these people. My son once pushed this kid down and when I arrived, the care taker was quick to point the finger at my son. When I asked him what happened, he said there was a student that kept cutting in line and he hit his friend. My son defended his friend by shoving the other kid out of the line and the kid fell. The next day, I told the teacher if she knew what happened and I asked her to apologize to my son for being a shitty caretaker and not paying attention to the other kid. All because I did not back down. If the case threat doesnāt work, tell them youāll take it to the news media and Iām sure they wont wanna mess with you or your son anymore.
Side note: I had a talk with my kid about when it is appropriate to defend yourself.
Call a meeting with his teachers, principal and school guidance counselor. Unacceptable. Five year olds need love, acceptance, boundaries and forgiveness. Surely thereās a teacher at that school that prefers positive reinforcement over labeling a FIVE YEAR OLD as BAD?!! Absolutely horrible. Keep fighting for your son, mama. Youāre doing the right thing.
You need to stop this now anyway possible. My school system ruined my sonās self esteem with this kind of BS. Told him he had worms for brains, a bully, he was just A BAD boy. No, he was a struggling little boy that they ridiculed instead of helped like the thousands otherās that were victim of my shitty ass school system.
This is why kids are so entitled today. If your kid is bad yes they call you and tell you and you are supposed to correct the problem. If they donāt call you when he gets hit then it probably means someone was defending themselves from him. Also, if you didnāt even notice until he said something then it obviously really wasnāt of urgent concern like youāre making it out to be.
This was my oldest in public school. I ended up putting him into a charter school in 5th grade and they tested him and he was gifted. He wasnāt getting challenged enough in public school and it led to him āgetting in trouble.ā
Donāt let the school make you back down, fight for your sonā¦Has this teacher taken a personal dislike to your son?? that is a question I certainly would be askingā¦Good luck
I was mad once about a kid spilling his milk on my sonā¦it was humiliating. His best friend had to loan him a shirt to wrap around his waist. I was pissedā¦I took it all the way to the principle. Come to find out my son was not completely innocentā¦ lol
That was in 4th grade, and now we laugh about it, because they are still friends.
Iām so sorry your going through this. This definitely needs to be addressed ASAP! I know you want to be a mad mama bear (trust me I too feel that) but your going to have to be calm and write down questions to ask. Why is my child coming home crying everyday? What is happening for this to happen? How can we at home help to rectify it? Also include why was my child hurt but I was never called? And express you feel a major lack of communication with the teacher. My daughter is the opposite bc sheās the oldest one in the class so sheās on her best behavior but bc of this she was getting over looked and it was causing major anxiety so I had to address it with the school counselor. The teacher would not respond to my emails. I wish you the best of luck momma! Your doing a great job and just keep re affirming his emotions and talk to him
I will tell i from my soster and brothers experience with showing their bitts it doesnt help anything, it truly makes things worse on ur child. Just go thru the correct channels and keep ur cool, cause u dnt want ur child paying for ur disrespectful actions, do u?
when your son gets hurt or injured at school, he can call you and the school should allow him to.
This happened to my son in 1st grade, we switched schools.
Keep fighting for your child. Threaten to homeschool, they might change their tune real quick because they donāt want to lose funding.
Go to the school board. The vice principal sounds likes heās just gonna make excuses and shut you down.
Call the board of education. Itās what I did. Once you tell the school youāve called to complain everything will change.
Iām so sorry this happened mama. myself I am full of violence I would have been pissed.
Hell no! Go to the big boys! That is absolute bullshit!
Send an email to the schools superintendent. My sonās ex principal and vice principal did a lot of things that they werenāt supposed to. Examples, my son got slapped by a girl throwing a fit, he was there minding his own business, teachers and students saw this, and she just went and slapped him three times. My sonās father and I are not together. He is not involved in his academic. Well, they called him, spoke to the grandmother, who is NOT in the emergency contact list. I would call, leave messages but no one returned my calls. The next day, I took my son, this was in kinder, I asked him who the girl was. Once she showed up, I did wrong I know, but I told her in front of everyone, you touch him again and I am OK with him fucking you up. I donāt care that youāre a girl he will make sure you never forget. Well, the mother was there, of course, was upset and said it was an accident. How the heck. I told her, if my son kicks her behind, take it as an accident too. Then, the principal and vice principal wanted to talk to me. Tough luck.
This happened to my kid and it gave him serious ODD. It developed into full blown conduct disorder. It kept happening until the vice principal spied on him during lunch and saw that he was very chill but boys kept messing with him bad so he flipped his tray. It still didnāt help, teachers had a target on his back. I had to change schools and eventually homeschool until he chilled out
Just letting you know now, if you go in with attitude with this you can make it worse for him. I know it sucks but you need to keep your cool for his sake. If you go off you can get a restraining order from the school. Just so you know.
Now as for the other part. Itās possible your son didnāt tell the teacher because he seems to get in trouble with her. I wouldnāt talk to anyone either. Heās 5. Working with them right now is better than against. You canāt just change schools either so be patient. Most.schools want to help but are under staffed and over worked.
I totally feel you on that. They do the same shit with my son, heās 5 too. Iām deaf also. Heās the only one whoās hard of hearing in the hearing school, yeah he canāt hear in his right ear and they always tell me what he did wrong but when I saw a boy bullied and pulled his locs through the window on the bus and they never told school what I saw but when they gets to school, they tell me that my son hits that boy in the bus. Thatās bs because I tried to tell the bus driver to look back by pointing to them and he acted dumb, even though I canāt speak, he should know easy to look when I 
to them. So he told me instead, āsorry no timeā and left. Boom my sonās in trouble for no reason. I DK if he hits him back or the boy told the bus driver that my son did. Smh
Get him out of public schools
They actually need to give you an incident report when he is injured by himself/accidental or by another child.
Go to the administration office n raise hell