Not mom related but spouse… my other half has an online g*mbling problem. I’m the past few days he’s spent $500! In the past 2 1/2 months he’s spent $4000!!! I’m in tears and don’t know what to do! We can’t afford it! I’m suppose to be getting a new car which would be nearly an extra $150 a month on top of what I’m paying now. He’s driving us broke! And he’s extremely confrontational, he does NOTHING wrong and only sees the wrong that I do. Any time I voice my concern it always becomes a fight and comes back on me! I’m lost and I feel sick to my stomach!
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I would go down to the courthouse if you are married and divorce him or if you can pack up what you have and take what money you have and go stay with someone else, family friends
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Ultimatum… either he goes to gamblers anonymous to get some help or you leave…… this can ruin your life and your kids lives
Block him from the bank account he’s using to deposit on these sites
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Run girl! I had a friend whose spouse was exactly like this…she came home one day from work with a foreclosure notice on the front door & he was gone.
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Withdraw the money in the account and open a new account in your name only. He can’t be trusted with money.
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Not a good partner. He will ruin you!
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If you don’t have separate accounts, get them now and protect what money you have left. I personally would file for divorce before you end up with nothing.
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Addiction is a hard thing to deal with!! Especially when the person isn’t ready to admit it’s a problem!! You don’t want to give up on your spouse because of it, but you also can’t put yourself in a vulnerable position! Like someone else suggested, maybe start a new acct without him on it, so only you have access to funds, if time apart is what might open his eyes, then stay elsewhere for a Lil while. There’s no good answer for addiction as everyone’s rock bottom is so very different!! I’m sorry your going through this!!!
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Are you married or just using the term like so many others…
you have options!
The bottom line- get help and quit, or get out! It will destroy you as well as him. Depending on where you live- you may be responsible for his debts as well- and they are good at hiding those
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Leave !! It’s only going to get worse
If he refuses to get help get rid of him. You will have nothing if you stay. You and your family deserves better.
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Take your name off co-joined credit cards, have a separate bank account, and file for separation. It might wake him up.
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If the ship is sinking, jump ship. He obviously doesn’t care. Don’t let him drag you down with him.
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Cancel shared credit card.
If you have joint accounts,get your name off of them asap.Open your own account.Hide your bank cards so he can not use your money.I would also file for a divorce.
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Request a new card from your bank and take the others away from him. Don’t give out the pin or have a limit put on the card a day.
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Either file for divorce, or separate your finances, get your own bank account and make sure you put all of the money need for living expenses, if he uses credit cards make sure your name is not o. The account and don’t allow him access to your accounts. Honestly I would file for divorce and make him responsible for any debt he has caused. Divorcing him will protect your credit and assets from him and his missuse of money.
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Wow, these comments are so sad. I understand what he is doing and he clearly needs help and of course this isn’t good for the family. But just pick up and leave, that’s how you ladies deal with problems or issues just leave/run. They are apart of your family, you try your best to help him first, be there for him, try to make it work, get him help, show support. Everyone so is quick to end relationships these days. No one wants to try anymore. Addiction is difficult, yes. But get him help, you can at least try that first then rather running away. If it’s a few months or so and you see no changes then yes, he isn’t ready for help and then you can leave. But at least try to help him first and save your marriage.
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An addict will only seek help when they want to. They have to want it. No amount of begging or threatening will help or change it. The addict has to want the help and has to want to change. I’m so sorry your having to deal with this. My suggestion, since he clearly doesn’t want the help yet, separation. Love has nothing to do with this. You have to protect yourself and kids and do what’s best for yall. If you share a bank account, get your own asap. Start with separation, down the line he may get help and yall be able to work it out or he may never get better and need divorce.
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Take your name off of any joint bank account and credit cards. Call and have them either remove your name from the account of close them. Any credit card you have in your name only call the issuer and have them lock the card so he can’t use it only you can. Protect yourself cause you will be held liable for any debt on cards that both your names are on. Tell him he needs to get help if he refuses leave before he ruins your life completely. Credit card company can issue you a new card
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Change your password and add parental controls
Well Hun… You’d better think Fast, Firm, and Very Clear on this one! I divorced over that BS Behavior. Your husband is already Extremely addicted, and there’s not a dam thing you can do or say, other than give him an ultimatum which would be, “Get Help or Divorce is on the table”! There’s no changing this. My daughter is dealing with this now, and she’s finally finding the courage to let go, while I’m raising my grandson until she pulls it together and chooses who’s side she’s on. It’s a toxic way to live.
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Sorry to say but divorce. He’ll run you homeless. Best to leave now or kick him out
Divorce him. I’m sorry, I’m the last one to suggest divorce if you can work it out but an addiction is not something that can be worked out without the person admitting they need help and asking for that help. As long as you’re married to him the more debt he piles up that debt is your debt. He’ll ruin your life along with his as long as you’re legally contracted as a couple.
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I’d have to sit down n talk to him. Ask him if he’s willing to get help so ulls family can be together and happy. If he refuses to get help than tell him you have to have a change it’s getting bad n 4000 is alot if money that could have helped with something for the whole family.
You gotta do what you have to do or in the end ull be bankrupt n with Nothing. Seen it done
Leave him. I get you love him but he clearly doesn’t care and he’s not worth losing everything you have just because he can’t admit he has a problem. Who knows, maybe leaving him will be the kick in the ass he needs
You need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. It will never change.
First I’d start by clearing out any shared accounts and putting them into your own and changing your passwords so that he can’t access them. Then sit down and tell him get help now or your leaving and stand behind your decision. Be ready to leave if he says no or fights help. Some sgit isn’t worth putting up with, period.
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get out ASAP before you have nothing left. You havent signed up for this type of problem.l’d leave without any negotiation…or kick him out. NO family member has the right to drive your finances into a ditch! …thats extreme and its not just a few hundred. You have no time to waste tying up your finances, accounts and and any access he has to your money.
you are allowed to have limits in your life… addiction to gambling ,drugs, and alcoholism are usually something most average people cant help in another person. And staying with them wont change a single thing.
I understand what ur going through and it is very tough to quit a gambling addiction because of all the online games and such 
I’d be having a serious talk about what’s important and possibly consider rehab….its one of the tougher addictions to get through
If he won’t go for help then file for divorce. The sooner the better to freeze your assets so he can’t bankrupt you
Addiction is a horrible thing. He needs to face a loss of something greater than the hold of the addiction… you need to leave … not just tell him you’re going to …. But leave and not come back till he is clean of his addiction. You won’t be able to change his mind on his addiction as he needs to relise that himself. I do not drink alone or gamble because I know myself I have an addictive personality and I don’t want to lose my family over anything line that.
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Get a free consultation from an attorney TOMORROW. Taking him off joint accounts or getting your own account isn’t enough. You’re responsible for half the debt as of today until you legally separate financially. A lawyer will do that part.
Get a 2 men that you trust and he likes. Since he turns into an ass wipe when you confront him, you’ll need support when you do. Or anyone you choose as long as you’re protected. Intervention next. Or a come to Jesus talk. Tell him what you’ve done legally with money/credit cards. It’s not up for discussion. He will do it or be single.
I’m not just talking. I have 1st hand experience. But that was some time ago and laws have changed since then, I’m sure. The lawyer you choose will tell you exactly what to do and file anything that’s needed.
Work fast because YOUR debt is climbing by the day.
If you stay with him after, you’re going to have be the new person in charge of money. That’s not up for discussion either. He’ll be embarrassed as he should be
Good luck to you. Be strong and take charge. Get help from family and friends.
PS I divorced him and he still gambles to this day.
Tell him or her they have to call the gambling hotline to get help or you have to break the relationship up not worth going in debt
First. Cut all of the internet OFF. Then, cut up every card… Every credit card & debit card. Then get him counciling. Best of luck. This will be hard. You can both survive this. I know.
Leave. You can’t fix him. He has to want it & in order to get there, he has to face has consequences.
If you have anywhere to go, go. Now. Don’t try to stay and end up in a violent situation. Pack and leave. Separate your finances immediately & file for legal seperation. Even if you don’t have to, fioe it to show your intent to seperate momey, custody, everything. A lawyer can help you file.
It’s drastic but in this economy we can’t stick around when ppl are playing with our money. He can destroy any financial future you’re working for if you stay.
Call the gambling hotline they may be able to help.
Listen, leave. He’ll take you down with him. He won’t ever change if he sees no wrong with what he does. Don’t wait to be bankrupt to leave. Leave now, and file immediately for support if you have kids, make sure it’s deducted from his checks
You need to separate your finances IMMEDIATELY and protect your money so you aren’t left destitute.
He needs help but if he doesn’t think he has a problem he won’t get it. No amount of begging or crying or yelling is going to make him ‘see it’
He has to hit rock bottom which is usually absolute financial ruin which is why you need to protect yourself
Also look into gamblers anonymous since I think they have support groups for spouses who don’t know what to do or how to help them.
I wish you luck mama. 🫶🏻🥺
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Get a large white board and write money coming in, bills going out, misc for both of you. Black and white leave it somewhere visible to him often…or make it travel around the house.
Prepare to separate. Leave him.
I would cut off all of his access to the money. Then have a serious talk with him about how you feel about what he is doing and the affect it is having on you and the kids if you have any. This kind of behavior can ruin trust in a relationship that will never truly be repaired. Even if you divorce him he still has a problem and you are the one who has to decide to you want to help him or run away from him. Good luck this is not an easy thing to deal with.
People saying just leave him…
I watched someone close to me go through this with their other half and it wasn’t nice to watch but after a serious and deep conversation they had together he come to realise it was wrong and his family meant more to him than anytninf he got help he changed and now he works and works and works for his family to have everything they deserve!.
Not saying this is always the case but there is good ones out there and there is ones that change around and sort themselves out!
Run girl, you can’t help him
Why R U sharing UR biz here? Not much but drama. If a good friend and wife…praise God for hearing UR prayer and look to a line other than Facebook for the luv and support U deserve. It takes two to duagre and be codependent. Fault find works both ways.