My Spouse Has Not Touched a Toothbrush in 5 Years

Relationships
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QUESTION:

"I’m not even exaggerating. He never brushes his teeth. I cannot Bring myself to feel any kinda of sexual desire for him. I’ve hinted and hinted. I’m about ready to just move on. He showers once a week and I can’t take it."

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Maybe you need to stop hinting and discuss it with him that it’s affecting the physical aspect of your relationship."

"Stop hinting. Tell him hygiene is a must."

"That is not healthy for him you need to talk to him"

"Hygiene affects you too! You can get all types of infection."

"You need have that discussion."

"Does he have any mental health issues? Poor hygiene is a sign of depression."

"Communicate. Forget about his feelings if he’s not getting the hint and just tell him. Not only is it gross its not healthy."

"Definitely need to reach out to him and inform him on how you feel about it. Honesty is key."

"I wouldn’t hint just tell him is he depressed or just lazy"

"His poor hygiene can give you infections!!! From oral sex & regular intercourse. His poor dental hygiene could also give you yeast infections!!"

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My bf is the same way, but for a lot longer. A lot of people have a hard time with self care if they are depressed, or if they suffer from executive dysfunction. Is your spouse neurodivergent? (ADHD, autism etc)It’s very common with them, if so. However, my bfs reasons for not brushing his teeth is different. Before I met him, he had a hardcore drug addiction. Those drugs ate away at his teeth so they are painful little nubs. He said brushing makes them hurt pretty severely.

If you bring up your concerns to your spouse, do they say any reasons they might not want to brush? Maybe offer them a good mouthwash as another hint, or at the very least help with some of the smell and decay.