My Spouse Said Hurtful Things to Me

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"my S/O told me I was “loose” and it made me cry all night last night… I’ve always asked him if he’s satisfied and happy with our sex life, I’ve told him he can be open an honest with me about anything… Long story short I asked him why he was just now telling me this and why has he been lying to me about being “satisfied”… he tells me he didn’t want to hurt my feelings or make me upset and that he thought it would make me not want to have sex anymore… How should I feel about this? my feelings ARE hurt and now I don’t want to have sex"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Women get wet and “loose” when aroused. He thinks you’re loose? I think he’s small!"

"the real question is are u satisfied? If his manhood isn’t hitting ur spot then it sounds like he’s the problem."

"That is seriously disrespectful and quite frankly disgusting. No one should ever insult their partner’s body, genitals included. Instead of having an open conversation about your sex life, things you both like and dislike, and the best way to please each other, he has decided to just blame your body for his inability to be satisfied. If he had noticed changes in your body, he could have brought it up a whole different way. Absolutely vile. I’d walk away from someone like that. Your self esteem will suffer if he thinks that’s an acceptable way to “communicate”."

"If he’s talking about your vagina being “loose” that’s definitely not possible. The vagina is like a rubber band and is made to stretch especially if you’ve given birth. Overtime the muscles can weaken with aging and multiple child births as well, but it’s not technically loose. It honestly sounds like he has a problem with the size of his penis and is projecting his own securities on you"

"so unless your vaginal muscles are having issues that “loose” usually means you are turned on. You can try kaegals but your husband needs to have more tact. The muscles can break down and weaken over time. Usually with age or having babies. If you are concerned you can ask your dr. There is also pelvic floor therapy. Either he does not understand how the female body works or you have a medical issue."

"Women get “loose” when they are relaxed and ready for intercourse. He should be more worried if it was too tight."

"This guy must not know anything about sex and he’s small. Women get “loose” when they become aroused. Even if you do kegels all day every day, it’s still going to get looser when you get aroused. I’d tell him he may want to go back and take Sex Ed. It was explained to my class in the 8th grade."

"He sounds like he’s lazy during sex. Does he put in effort to satisfy you at all? Cause if not then I think we can lead with some more advice from there."

"Um, a vagina is a muscle and “loosens” when you’re turned on. If you’re tight and it hurts you either a) aren’t turned on or b) have a medical condition."

"The looser a vaginal feels the more aroused and relaxed a woman is. It will contract after climax. Maybe he should try to help you orgasm before intercourse which could make sex more enjoyable for you both."

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