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QUESTION:
"My SO is going out to dinner at 8pm with a women he used to work with, he didn’t really ask me about going, just told me he was. I asked if I could go and take our toddler, and all responded with was “Well she’s vegan so it’s limited options and I plan on going late”.I just find it kind of rude and he also has a lot of photos of her on his cell phone, even before we met. He was her musical engineer because she’s a smaller actress in LA and said they have a close relationship because of that. But still, I can’t help but feel like I’m a secret or that he doesn’t want me to ever be included. Plus, an 8pm dinner sounds more like a date to me."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Y’all need trust! If your man can’t be trusted to meet up with an old work colleague for food without you reaching for divorce papers I think he’s had a lucky escape if you do leave him"
"I’m not going anywhere my spouse isn’t welcome and he’s the same. Definitely sounds a little fishy."
"I see him not wanting the kid to come though. Sometimes we need a parent break."
"Sounds like they may have had a fling in the past and they are looking to reconnect. Parenting can be challenging on a relationship. Often times people loose who they are and just want to feel like them selves again. Of course no reason at all to do anything shady but if he had nothing to hide he could have totally invited her over for dinner and had vegan options for her. So everyone could get to know each other. I would just ask him if they have a history and tell him that it makes you a little uncomfortable because you have not met her before and would like to meet her and get to know her a bit more before your comfortable with them doing late night dinners without you!"
"Sounds to me like he’s going on a date tonight…so of course he doesn’t want you and the baby to ruin it. Although, if it were a date … it’s super weird he didn’t hide it"
"It absolutely could be a “talk shop” kind of meeting. If I was meeting someone to discuss my profession over dinner, I would not want him to bring his wife and toddler along."
"Well I guess I’m the only one in here that trusts her spouse. I’d give a hug and kiss goodbye put my baby down for bed and this mama would be in the bubble bath with some wine."
"8 PM is usually drinks & maybe an appetizer, not really dinner. totally not appropriate for a toddler anyway."
"Get over yourself. He’s not your pet he can have a work like. Not just that but not all restaurants are child friendly and working with her in the future could be a lot of money. When you work in that industry you would know my soon to be husband does and I did because going back to uni. You do not need to be included in every aspect of his life."
"If you have to ask here, you already know what’s up lol I have enough trust with my spouse that it wouldn’t bother me. In fact I’m leaving at 4am to ride a hot air balloon with coworkers tomorrow and my husband just says “enjoy getting up at 4am” lol"
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