My step daughter is out of control: Help!

How do you parent kids that are out of control? She doesn’t want to listen to me when her dad is not home…she yells at me…trys to slap me…I am at my wits end…oh and she is my step child…I have her every weekend when her dad is at work


Need more context here. Her age, how she does in school, does she have a good relationship with her dad or her bio mom, any big changes? Has she always acted like this or is this new?

Your reaction?
Dad’s reaction?
Home life at both places?
Issues at school?
Behavior issues?

Too much missing information to be helpful.


The way you put”oh she is my Step child”. No wonder why she doesn’t like you


It’s hard to say
This post is lacking information that would be helpful to know before giving advice


My step sons got the same kinda rules and same punishments at my house that my kids would get. If that dont work for you id tell the hubby he can either fix the issue or he wld have to stay home when shes there or find a sitter until she learns to listen to you and respect you


Age would be helpful, BUT dad needs to stand up for you and properly address the situation in an age appropriate manner… may be a regression if y’all have custody, could be she thinks you are taking her mothers place, she may need therapy for something she can’t speak about to any one… could be a million things, I’d start with dad and then move on to therapy.

Who ever the parants are,its their responsibility NOT YOURS. I bet she dosent treat her mom & dad like that. You my dear are being used big time.

you do not have to be subject to rude behavior. and if it continues then you’re her father needs to figure out the next step. by you just being there to help and being treated like dirt is disrespectful to you from him. so the next time you have to stay and watch a rude person you need to find something to do and leave and let the chips fall where they may. hopefully he’ll be a man and take responsibilities and handle this in a manner that it needs to be dealt with good luck

Your own biological child could act that way towards you…so being a bonus child doesn’t make a difference. You need to find out why she is acting that way…maybe she feels disconnected or it’s hard to be in the situation she’s in with a bonus mom. Maybe she doesn’t understand. Depends on her age too.


O.o You don’t inform the other co parents? Should setup camera so can’t say otherwise. Ik I wouldn’t want my kid acting like shit for no reason…

Age? Sounds like her dad needs to have a talk with her and correct this behavior, especially since you’re taking care of his daughter so he can work.

Parenting bonus kids is extremely tough because there’s lines and you don’t want to step on toes.

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Get a camera for your safety also to document it to her father how she treats you when he is not there.

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For one thing, it sounds like she is a teenager, if she puts hands on you, that is an assault. Call the police on her. My step son has tried hitting my husband a couple of times and I flat out told him if he put hands on anybody or even attempted, he would not be coming over anymore and I would call the police. Wants to “act” like an adult, he would be treated like one. Ultimately her parents need to correct the behavior, but if they are refusing to do so, you get to correct it the way you see fit.


Depends on her age. If she’s on the younger side I’d say timeouts using the super nanny method. Otherwise if she’s old I personally use the losing privileges and then adding in extra “unpleasant” chores.

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I don’t give a damn what her age is unless she’s 1 or younger of course. She doesn’t need to be slapping you. How old is she? Even at 2 she knows better. We don’t know the whole story but dad definitely needs to intervene or else I’d tell him to get a babysitter for her when he’s working. If she’s little and this continues to be acceptable with no consequences it will just escalate as she gets older.

She probably wants her Dad to spend time with her


To much info missing to give advice. Age of child. How long have you been part of her life (doesn’t matter depending on certain answers) is there any reason the child may have to hold something against you? Do you allow solo time with her father or do u always have to be involved. How do you treat her when she is there?

Depending on age. When she is acting up walk away and let her cool off then reapproach her. If she continues to act out let her know you will be speaking to both her father and her mother.

Record her behavior while he is gone, just to show her dad when you talk to him about this, what needs to be done for changed behavior

Send her to work with dad

Her dad is the parent. That’s why she’s angry. Instead of spending time with her she’s dumped on you. If her dad doesn’t have time for his daughter then he should give up his time (he already is so it’s not a big deal for him), let her mom spend more with her. If neither of them can spend weekends with her they need to hire a babysitter. You are not his free babysitter & maid. You’re worth more than being treated like that.


Simple Stop having her when her father is at work. Also explain to your husband why you can’t handle her. I’m sure he will understand .

Tell her parents you won’t watch her alone anymore

He should be disciplining her on her treatment towards you

Dad needs to step in, or refuse to take her

If your husband is unwilling to help you in this situation, i recommend you contact the child’s mother

Your own kids are not the angels they might portray in the presence of you

There’s too much info missing to give advice

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Send her to work with her dad :woman_shrugging: