You are in your own home .you pay the bills there. And the deed is in your name .you are fully within your rights to smoke where ever you choose.she should be grateful you are considerate enough to smoke away from the general populus.you dont deserve her drama.tell her nicely that the door swings both ways and though she is welcome to be a part of your life, her lectures and drama are not .good luck
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If ANYONE had the balls to tell me what to do in my own home, they’d be sent packing and told to never come back. Set boundaries with her. You can still have a relationship with your dad without being mentally abused by her.
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She probably doesn’t want you in the house because you smell like smoke. That’s fair.
At your home though she needs to hush or leave.
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If this was me I’d invite step mom out to a nice lunch and politely but firmly tell her how you feel and then say you would like a relationship, if only a polite one for the sake of your dad, so what can be done going forward. If she chooses to still be an ass then make your invites inclusive to dad only. Then it will be his choice to come or stay will his wife who chooses not to use common sense manners. As hard as it is you might have to give up time with dad to distance yourself from the negative stepmother.
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I would talk to my dad and tell him how much u love him but she is affecting the relationship u have with him… Ask him to speak to hear and let him know that if he can’t then u will
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Sadly your Dad is stuck in the middle of this. Does he side with his daughter whom he loves dearly and live with an unhappy irate wife OR does he ostracize his daughter so his wife is happy and his life is happy? Your step mother is always going to feel like the outsider when you and your father are both around her angry bnasty attitude is most likely a way of making sure shes noticed and making sure her husband knows shes in charge. This is a hard situation but you may have to ignore her nastiness. Invite your Dad out to lunch just you and him, and be the sweetest kindest gentlest person when your step mom is around. Killing her with kindness might just change her attitude.
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I came really close to punching my step mom but my husband stopped me…thank God my dad got rid of her!! Good luck!
Tell her you forgive her and will pray for her. Then tell her to back off. You also need to have a serious conversation with your dad. He could be at the hands of an abuser and not know how to get help.
Tell her if she don’t like it she can leave and be rude about it get in her face tell her you mean business
I’m the only smoker in my family and my favorite phrase is “I can either lite this cigarette or I can tell you exactly what I think!” They pretty much get the message. Say hey lady, there are things I don’t like about you to but I love my dad and respect that he can love who he wants. So if you love him, respect that he loves his daughter. We can agree to disagree and push through when we are all together and then move ahead and do our separate thing otherwise. Good luck girl, close your eyes, breathe and count to 10…you got this!
Stand up for yourself. Your dad has allowed this so stop having her come to your home. If you want to see your dad do it in a public place.
Being close is her problem not yours. She’s jealous. Mine was the same. If you stand up to her you’ll lose dad. Try to have a talk w/ dad. Speak how she makes you feel. Try to spend time alone with him and good luck
Invite your DAD ONLY! Tell her she’s not invite and if your dad has an issue that’s on him. YOU will be much happier for it
I had the same thing happen to me! Close relationship with my father but my stepmother told me my children would never amount to anything bc they were arguing over something dumb at thier HS graduation dinner. He allowed her to belittle his own grandchildren, amongst other occurances… he took her side & lied for her so i just cut off ties from him. It’s been 5 yrs now…
Talk with your Dad so that he will understand how you feel but not in an aggressive way, she is his wife. Maybe do outings with your Dad. You only have one Dad and once gone he is gone. At your house just listen to her and let it roll off your shoulder. It is about being with you Dad.
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Don’t wait for an invite at your parents house just go over when you want and hang out with your dad. As for her you can continue to ignore the behavior and let it continue or address it.
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Tell your Dad how you feel. I’m a step Mom and get no respect in-spite of all I do.
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Talk to him. Its seems like people talking like adults has become taboo! If you have an issue or worry or concern etc…go to that person and make them aware. Speak like adults.
Then you need to have a man to man with your dad and tell him how you’re feeling. Sounds like he could be very helpful. And as for how she talks to you in your home, that is up to you. See how the talk with your dad goes since that incident is over. But definitely lay out your boundaries when it comes to this woman. You’re and adult in your own home and will make the choices you want in your life. She has no place to talk to you like that in your home. As for her home, if the smoking is her problem and why she won’t let you in, unfortunately that is her choice. Definitely talk with your dad about this. As it is his home too and yall are close hopefully some middle ground can be found.
Set boundaries for her behavior in your home, like you should for ALL people. But at the same time, is your family reaching out to her to include her? It’s a two street. If you reach out with warmth, she may reflect it back. The smoking thing may be a trigger for her and she may be worried about your health, and not approaching it in the best way. Try not to assign negative motives to people’s actions.
Like Dr. Phil says, “We teach people how to treat us.” You must be assertive and let her know her behavior/comments are inappropriate, causing friction, and will no longer be tolerated. At this point you might want to refrain from punishment. Hopefully, it will stop. If not, then promise consequences. Good luck.
I would sit down and talk to your dad about how you feel. If you and your dad are close, that would probably be your best choice. Then possibly later on you her and him can sit down and talk about it and come to an understanding so that everyone is miserable when they have to be together and so that your not isolated from inside your dad’s house.
She was at your house. Pull her aside and tell her if she is uncomfortable she has the choice to leave, but if she keeps being rude she will be asked to leave.
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Pick up your dad and do something special with just him. You don’t have to include her. Life is too short for toxic people
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Never allow anyone to disrespect you in your own home.Talk to your Dad and if the situation don’t get any better walk away for a while and let your Dad know you will always love him and you’re just a telephone call away.
If you have a strong relationship with your dad. Tell him that, with her making you feel like you do that you don’t want her to come over. Then if he comes over explain to him how you feel. You could even take him for a daddy daughter date. I mean you can’t make them break up but you can get him by himself to make it less stressful. If she does come over, look her straight in the face when she says it, and say look “this is my home, if you don’t like it go home.” I’m so sorry and I completely understand thankfully I talked to my step parent after 23 years and final have a good relationship now. Best of luck!
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I would just tell her. If you don’t like it you can leave. No one has a right to treat you like that ever especially in your own home.
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You put up with too much drama, there’s your answer, handle it.