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"Hello I have been married for 3 years now and we have been together for almost 9. So he has 2 step kids one is 16 year old girl and other is 11 year old boy. With this being said I am at the end of my line! I dont know what to do. I need help! So the 11 year old gets away with everything. (Their moms house is clean and they don’t treat mine like they do her’s) they track mud all in my house they throw down chip bag, cans, cups all over my house. I have burn holes in my new couch. The boy set my back pourch on fire! Holes in the walls no one know where they came from! I have stuff poured out and no one cleans up! Keep in mind these kids are 16 and 11. I work nights, so when I come home my house is dirty. I have to clean it every day before I go to work at 4 pm. Or husband has a come apart on me! When I tell my husband to have the kids pick it up he says they will do it later. I tell them to do something they look at me like I’m crazy. These kids have dirt bikes too. So I have a 4 wheeler that I let the kids ride they have wrecked it and not took care of it at all! The reason I let them ride it so they can learn responsibility. But they have just torn it up! So I have a 30,000 $$$ side by side I don’t let the 11 year old ride because he just breaks stuff because its mine. But when I’m not around husband lets him drive it! So we fight about that! I have washed all of the 11 year old clothes and go look in his room last night there all in the floor covered in mud! Husband said all I do it bitch about kids! But can anyone help me with ideas how to make these kids mind and be less of a**holes to me! Husband is no help. We only have the kids when there out of school! Spring break and every other weekend. All summer! They live with the mother 2 hours away the rest of the time! If ya have took the time to read all of this please help! I beg you!"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"You need to start with the husband, if he’s not respecting you then the kids surely will not! Be real and honest, have conversations about how to change things. If not then you need to think about how you move forward, is it alone or with a partner"
"I’d leave that mess to them. Bye Felicia"
"If the husband isn’t going ro respect you then the won’t ever either. Maybe they want you gone. Sorry to say. You're gonna be happier in your own."
"Issue here is the husband."
"Honestly if your husband cares so little to respect you, his children won’t. I would leave because they aren’t going to change"
"The kids don’t respect you because you husband doesn’t respect you. I would start with that. Do you have family you could take your important things to while their at your house? You might trying staying with family one of their visits so your husband is forced to deal with them and clean up after them."
"Dad is the issue. He needs to assure that he and the kids respect you!"
"This is an issue with your husband."
"Girl its time to go! No way in hell my husband would be bitching at me to clean up shit his kids did! F*ck that! You aren’t a wife! You are a maid! Know your worth!"
"Sorry but it sounds like not one person has any respect for you and your home. Kick them out. You deserve better than what your being handed"
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