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QUESTION:
"My 14-year-old daughter came to me about wanting… adult toys…and I don't know how to feel about it…she said her best friend's mom gave her one and now said she wants one…I said okay…because I didn't want to react… I'm glad she came to me but at the same time isn't she too young for stuff like this? where do I go from here? do I buy it for her?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Perhaps you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself. What your daughter has done is open the door to a conversation with you about sex … you don’t have to jump to “should I buy it”. Why not sit down and have an adult conversation with her about sex and what the interest in adult toys is about? What does she think she would learn about by having/using one? Just because a friend’s mother gave the friend one doesn’t mean that all other parents should do likewise. Having a conversation will help you determine whether she is old enough emotionally and even physically to have such a toy. This is a great opportunity for you and your daughter to learn about one another … don’t miss the opportunity by worrying about whether she’s old enough or whether you should buy one for her. Make this a learning opportunity that will allow you and your daughter to make the decision together."
"I would be so happy my child came to me. I would talk to her about how to clean them and about sex but I would buy her one. Wanted to explore her own body is not a bad thing and I think if you say no she will just find another way or maybe actually have sex… be proud she came to you and just have an honest conversation"
"I don’t see why not. It kept me from seeking it from guys and saved me a lot of drama and trouble. It’s safer than her having sex."
"If you don’t teach her about safe masturbation, she will find another way. Do what you feel is right as her mom."
"It’s better to masturbate, rather than have sex that young! Get her the toy. There’s nothing wrong with self-exploration and figuring out what you like."
"I would rather get my child a toy and practice self love than her running around horny wanting a boy"
"I’m gonna say yes. Better than sleeping around or getting pregnant. Feel grateful she talked to you"
"I think since she’s already asked for it, she’s not gonna change her mind. She will get it from someone else."
"I would, she’s just gonna get creative and figure it out on her own without you."
"I would much rather my child trust me and come to me. She is trying to be responsible and safe by coming to you. This could be the start of her no longer coming to you if she doesn’t feel seen or heard."
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