I have a near two-year-old son. And he cries (wails) about absolutely everything, putting his coat on? Getting him out of a chair? Even asking him to play with his toys, he wails and wails. I’m a first-time mum, and it’s so draining I feel like I’m on eggshells with him. His dad isn’t involved, but I have a boyfriend who we have a house, and there’s just a lot of tension as we’re on constant eggshells if he’s going to have a good or bad day. It’s as if he rules the house, but it’s so draining and upsetting - nothing pleases him. He’s always upset. We can’t even go for a walk without him getting upset 2 minutes into it. He’s now started throwing himself to the floor (in temper, but he’s hurting himself doing so - we had to sign an accident form at nursery because he busts his nose doing so) … I literally am at my wit’s end. I don’t know where I’m going wrong or what I can do to help the situation. If anyone can help me or tell me what I can do to make us actually feel like a family rather than trying to, our days revolve around him and us being on eggshells constantly.
It really could just be a phase. My 17 month old is starting and hes been normal up till now. His brother who has had issues since very young never grew out of it. But its really just to early to tell.
Have you had his tested for Autism? Sounds a lot like my daughter at that age.
I would talk to a doctor and possibly have him tested for a neurological disorder.
No advice… But just… U got this mumma, keep doing what ur doing. 
Maybe he needs bit more independence to feel he is doing things on his own
My 3 year old since he could walk has been an independent soul, he would give out because he wanted to feed himself, try help tidy up, put something in bin and get lots of praise. Maybe try letting him get his coat for a walk, pick out his clothes etc.
It can just really be a phase with them too.
It could be ahdh or autism I would talk to his Dr and see if he should be tested but It’s normal for kids that age to act like that, they do grow out of it. As far as what to do now, he can feel the tension and see how it’s stressing u out and that’s not helping. I have a 3 year old that I consider “the wild one” lol and he still acts like that sometimes, not as much as he used to. what helps with him is getting down and talking to him in a soft voice reassuring him that he’s ok and if he’s crying and screaming u can’t help him. Another thing that helps is distracting him when he starts a fit.
Is there a chance he is in pain or an underlying medical issue?
It sounds like he may have some sensory issues. Discuss with his Ped and see what they recommend. An occupational therapist may also help.
What is his sleep schedule like?
Is he sleeping well? He sounds exhausted like something is wrong. I agree with having him checked. When mine had tantrums, I always told them I’d wait until they calmed down to tell me whats wrong but the tantrum was so loud I couldn’t understand their words. Sometimes you gotta cry it out but most of the time having mom understand and help solve it is better. Stay in his corner, mama!
Silly question, but could it be attention seeking alittle bit? I see everyone has recommended talking to doctors, sensory issues ADHD and other things, but could he just be doing it because he gets more attention when he does? Maybe try not reacting to it alittle? I know for a fact my 15 month old plays on it! I Have seen him absolutely face plant, have cringed and been about to go running to help or comfort him. And hes just popped right back up and got on with playing. And other times because hes seen me watching hes made a mountain out of dropping a toy! Lol I’m not judging in any way shape or form, just sharing what my son does.
Honestly talk to the doc it could be as easy as reflux it doesn’t sound like autism giving the baby seams to cry in pain and moving seams to be an issue I’d really talk to the doc I’ve got 5 and that’s concerning
Get him a dog to take care of
He very well could be on the autism spectrum. Is he verbal at all? Is he hitting his other milestones for his age? I’d talk to your pediatrician first and see if you can get him evaluated. The sooner it is caught the sooner he can get help from a variety of sources to catch him up where he needs to be. The sooner intervention happens, the better for the child.
When my three year old starts throwing tantrums, I literally walk away to another room and say nothing. He usually will stop whining and follow me to find out what I’m doing. Another option is to find a way to make it a game which makes him think it’s his idea, that can help ALOT. Instead of saying put your coat on, ask him, can you find your coat? I dont see it anywhere. I get a hell of a lot more action when they think you need “help,” versus just telling them to do it. Does that make sense? If you go for a walk, let him pick the directions. I think you’ll see an improvement in his mood if you change the way you interact. Make it fun for him. Some kids just need something to focus on with a goal at the end.
I feel that it’s normal for a 2year old… You as his mum would know if he needs to see a ped etc… Take it day by day… I know it’s hard… Trust me lol… But every day is new day… Each day they learn… Yes we get frustrated as moms because we can’t tell what’s happening in their minds… However love them, nurture them and in the end its all worth it…
I really feel like it could be a lot of different possibilities but I’d try talking to his doctor. My son will be 2 in July and does this type of thing, get upset and cry until he would get sick over small things multiple times a day. (It’s a lot less frequent now) but there was a handful of environmental changes happening that caused it I think on top of just being that age. Also little ones can feel your anxiety and that could also add to it
Definitely sounds like a phase, but it’s always important to bring up new changes to your pediatrician just so nothing gets overlooked. My son now 3 did that around the same age as yours and it lasted for several months, it was incredibly challenging and very hard to do anything or go anywhere. We were having full blown tantrums and crying from the time we woke up until the time we went to bed. Everyone in our house was completely frazzled, but the pediatrician said they weren’t concerned and it did eventually stop and he is completely back to his happy active self.
Have you ever looked into the leap years? Very helpful!
That’s both of my kids. Older one is ADHD and Autistic. Little one hasn’t been diagnosed yet but was evaluated for services and qualified, currently in speech and OT. I can tell you that is not normal behavior as far as our evaluations are concerned. They discuss tantrums and how long they last. Both of my kids have what is casually referred to as a low frustration tolerance (see: 0 frustration tolerance). Everything sets them off. It’s indicative of issues like anxiety and sensory problems. I’m not trying to diagnose anything, of course, but I strongly recommend talking to your pediatrician about getting him evaluated by a specialist. If you’re in the US, most states have some type of early intervention program where they will evaluate him for free and provide an array of services. I believe the UK also has these services through the NHS. It certainly won’t hurt to bring it up. If it’s a phase they’ll tell you, but my kids’ symptoms are/were the same, combined with delayed speech (which contributes immensely to the temper tantrums, but it doesn’t eliminate them upon learning to speak).
Also, can I just tell you my son just called me mommy for the first time, WHILE I WAS TYPING THIS! He just turned 2 last month. 
Good luck to you!
Could be cutting 2yr molars
I have asked if hurt, if not, I send to room to cry it out. No attention, no crying
Could be the early signs of him having behaviour issues, learning disabilities etc. Likely he’s not doing it on purpose, deep breath & a lot of patience. The more you get upset the more he’s going to. Sounds like he just doesn’t know how to regulate his emotions. It’s not easy, hugs mama.
Yeah you pretty much have to just let him whine.
Sounds like he is over tired. Is he getting enough sleep?
Idk if it’s the same thing. But my 2yr old wasn’t used to the guy I’m seeing now for a little while. It was just her and I for the first almost whole 2 years and she’s now warming up to him. Little by little. But she used to go into super attention seeking mode. When it would be just her and I she acted a little better but still wanting mommy to baby her. But when he was around she would throw big tantrums and start doing anything she could to get a rise out of mommy. Maybe it’s a little mixture of a few things mentioned above. Maybe he doesnt really even understand himself why hes doing it. And 2yr molars are very painful also. So that definitely could play a major role. My little one got so tired and extremely fussy anytime she was getting a molar in. Hope it works out for you. Keep your head up momma. Mommying is a very hard job.
Remember our children will display upset when they can’t relay what they need. This could be a faze. But speaking to your doctor would ease your mind.
Sounds like he knows how to manipulate you.
They will cry to get what they want
2 year olds will put it over you if you let them.
I have a 2 year old and if I let her she would run the house hahah
Welcome to the “terrific two’s” lol
Sounds like a typical toddler. My 2½yo daughter just started one of these phases again. When she starts being extra and won’t calm down, I put her in her bed to have a few minutes to herself and calm down.
Partly the age, wish I could say 3 is better. At 2 they are still trying to figure things out, what can I get away with.
Maybe try giving him options. When putting on a coat maybe show him 2 coats and say which one would you like? If he throws himself on the floor, put him somewhere safe (in his crib or carpeted area) and walk away. Also stand by what you say, if you tell him you will leave somewhere if he continues and he does continue leave. It’s difficult but try not to feed into his fits, let him know when he is done you can do something fun or play.
Couple of questions to ask yourself…
- Have you given him everything he’s ever asked for?
- Is he telling YOU what to do?
- What punishments have you given and have you been consistent?
If the answer is no to all of these, then please talk to your Dr…
If the answer is yes to all of these, he’s spoiled! And probably getting extremely frustrated with communication…
Most likely a phase. Dont give it any power. Make sure he’s cared for and comfortable. Let him know if something is bothering him you’ll help him the best you can but for the most part try not to get to stressed out. I write this while my 4 year old is crying bc her sister is hitting her with a pillow.
healthy food, good sleep, and plenty of outdoor activity first, then food elimination diet to see if that is causing problems (my first was like this, and turned out gluten and cow dairy were part of the problem; don’t do time outs or certainly not hit him–instead hold him tight (you can wrap him in a blanket from neck down to contain him and make him feel safe–I have a daughter who worked as a nanny and she did this with a little one–they called it being a burrito. It calmed him down and helped him to refocus. If they continue, then you can isolate them and let them cry it out in a safe place. mostly be consistent in everything–kids like this need routine and predictablity
Gentle Parents Unite This is a great group for gentle advice, kids have so many emotions we don’t understand and they don’t know how to process them. It’s hard on them and us. I’ve got a 2 year old as well and I love that group for advice!
Poor little bugger definitely talk to your doctor
As a mum of 8 kids all I’ll say is buckle up 3yr olds are way way worse 
My 4 year has autism he gets like this alot he’s in therapy which helps alot because he’s able to communicate his feeling and he will scream if something Is off to him or if he’s having a sensory overload
Its a normal thing they do because they can’t communicate feelings so they only way they know is to cry
Consider talking to a pediatrician. Meltdowns like that CAN BE a sign of POSSIBLY being on spectrum.
I’m a nanny to a two year old and I’m here wondering if it’s the same child you’re speaking of ,oh my word I’m a mom of 4 and grandmother of one and NEVER have my kids be like this,I’m leaving the job anyway the spitting,hitting,kicking part I wont accept and the way he throws himself on the floor is worrying in the event he does it and injures himself
See a pediatric neurologist and see if you can contact your local Early Intervention agency.
Talk to your ped about him possibly having SPD.
Mine is exactly the same , she’s on o2 at night and doesn’t breath well not sure if it’s because she is so tired off it all or if she has another reason for jt none of the others kids have been this way , hope you find answers soon x
Might have a sensory issue.
My 3rd son is like this, his brothers were nothing like that so I had no idea wtf was happening, plus I had other kids to take care of. He is 5.5 now and on medication for ADHD, ODD, and has severe sensory issues. He only recently potty trained and started sleeping thru the night. He is so, so hard. It has gotten better with age and maturity and verbal skills and OT and medication.
Don’t pay him any attention when he acts out. He’s continuing to do it bc he gets his way
Are his ears ok ? Sometimes when my son gets ear aches he starts acting up … I think toddlers cant control their emotions at that age it something they learn as they get older so they do just have melt downs give him a cuddle and try not to get too frustrated he is just 2 … he will out grow it
Keep the child on a schedule. Meals, naps, going to bed at night at the same general time every single day. This helps the kid know what he can expect to be going on at a certain time of day
Sounds like he has meltdowns and may have sensor issues
Put him down for a nap seriously. It helps
I just let mine great go meltdown. Shes 19 months and hates certain things. Obviously we know when some thing is wrong and address it. But i think a lot of times its the age big feelings cant express them. I use the word can i help you or let me help you so its more of a partnership then a dictator ship that helps a ton
Have him evaluated for autism and sensory integration disorder. Take him to the pediatrician and explain his behavior. It could be something else. Try to rule out everything you can.
I feel so sorry for you but I think you should visit your doctor and see if he could help you
Take him to a Homopath for an assessment!
I’d go to a doctor hun. I dont feel that thats normal terrible twos that seems a little more severe
You need to write everything down, i.e episode, time etc and make an appt to see the pediatrician. and NEVER leave him alone with the boyfriend because if you’re at your wits end and you’re his mother imagine how he must feel! A moment of frustration can lead to aggression and that’s what you must avoid at all costs!!!
I would check with the pediatrician He could have something wrong
My mom always said I will give you something to cry for… i hot it twice with a fresh apple tree switch . Onmy needed once. Weldts lasted for a week. Only m
needed it once
He will probably settle out after he starts to talk…can express himself…
If really concerned get him checked out…
Extreme self destructive behavior isn’t normal…autism possibly.
I dealt with this with my oldest daughter she is 13 now she has adhd add an odd an on medication it took along I use to stop my car when she would do this an would not move til she stop an in the malls or stores it was horrible like she even got me arrested at the mall 1x she walked away from me an the cops found her while I was looking it was a dun deal because they swore I just let her walk around she was like 5 at the time I been throw it all
Possibly sensory issues? Best bet is to take him to be seen
It could be autism, check with pediatrician and have him refer you to a neurologist. they will guide you in the right direction without medication
You definitely need to have a conversation with his family doctor. My daughter was the same age doing the same thing. Horrible outbursts and temper tantrums that would last hours. It was horrible. She ended up being evaluated and diagnosed with ADHD. She’s 7 now and has been on medication for a few years now. Definitely helped. good luck.
My son acts like this when he’s tired, honestly don’t play into and get him on a STRICT nap schedule and bedtime. I swear it will change everything
Family doctor should help for both your sakes xx
Pediatric psychologist is needed, talk to his pcp for a referral, this is not normal.
I’d have him checked out first. In the meantime, don’t react to his behaviours. Just keep going about your day. You need to reach him time outs. Consequence and reward, but not with food or things. Use distraction, when’s starting to lose it “ask if he’s ever wanted to go in a red hot air balloon. Ask what his fave colour is, or texture. Use ur imagination. Good luck!
Biggest mistake parents make especially mothers is giving in to their kids, NO means NO most mothers will give in because its easier to give them what they want just to stop the child from crying BIG mistake… hes only 2yrs old imagine when he hits 5 then 13 put your foot down now otherwise your guna be pulling your hair and teeth out before hes 10 …
It is frustrating, but also understand that a 2 year old is learning about their environment, they have emotions that they don’t understand or control, first stop allowing the child to run your house, strict routine, and if rules are not followed consequences, 2 min time out to help child regain composure, no tv or no going to the park, must be consistent, child will soon associate that bad behavior has consequences, also rewards for good behavior so the child understands what’s acceptable and what’s not, their smarter than you think, terrible two’s, 
My second daughter was just 3 and cried much more than her 5 year old sister, especially at half day preschool. No one understood why. Then one day her long haired guitar playing Montessori guy teacher said to me…She’s reading my lips ! Sure enough, she had significant hearing loss which was resolved with tubes in the ears and minor surgery. The embarrassing part was that I was a Special Education teacher and never saw it in my own child . I’ll never forget when she came home from the hospital and the look on her face when she heard her kitten purr ! And then she went potty and heard a “tinkle”. Awesome ! You just never know ! Keep the faith and be an advocate for your baby .
Start using transitions, give him a plan for the day but not absolutes, and if he isn’t very verbal teach him other ways to communicate, our YDS melted down a lot due to being mostly nonverbal. If it’s autism there can be other signs, do some research and see your doctor.
Strong willed kids will grow to be leaders. But theres a difference in strong willed and a mental condition… You could get behavior evaluations and therapy for a bit bc a doctor can’t give you a cure all for autism or adhd etc
Has he been tested for autism? I know hes young but these are symptoms
I thought I was only one this is my 3rd! He did have bowel issues sense birth! My 16month is size of 4yr old opens doors climbs out of shopping carts with belts moves things to climb on! The best part he hates no he will scream bloody murder you remove things he isn’t suppose to have because he doesn’t play with what he is suppose to! Bed time nap time screams playpen screams car seat screams no in store screams 
I have got him checked dr said he has very bad selective hearing! No co method does not work you give in and he smiles it’s so bad people tell me oh he hungry thirsty diaper etc so I have to show him and they are like WOW I have had to leave check out before because he wouldn’t stop climbing out cart out of belt and I had to hold him to ring things up n he is kicking n screaming because he wants to walk
I have found that my one child who cries a lot over everything calms down when I just grab her and hug her tightly. I just use hugs now to de-escalate everything and then when she’s calm I ask her to tell me what’s wrong. We usually can find a compromise or I tell her that her crying is hurting me physically and ask her to please help me do something(I redirect her).
Let him scream and cry when you get the jacket on him and he’s going on about it put him in a bedroom and walk out don’t look at him till he stops tell him once he stops crying you will give him a hug and go to the next thing be patient I would get him tested for autism that’s how my nephew is and he has it he just now is getting better and he’s going on 4 he was like that from. 1-1/2 till 3-1/2
•Visual daily schedule
•Sticking to routine
•Prompts and warning before transition
•Try to make it “fun”
•2 choices when able (let him feel in charge)
•Talk through what your doing and why
•One on one play
•Kids Books about emotions
•Talk about these hard things while
He is not in melt down mode too
•Hope some of this is helpful and extending all the love to you as a mama for trying you damn best•
He needs more frequent naps
Give him a sippy cup h may need to be rocked and more comfort than other children
My son acts this way when his daddy giving me affection and baby feels left out so we get group hug in and baby and I one on one
Don’t give into his tantrums anymore cuz he’s manipulating u. Walk away.
He could have an ear infection.
Take him to the chiropractor
Many times an adjustment could fix this as he could be aching and doesn’t know how to express it.
Amber bead necklace helps with anxiety.
Too much stimulation can cause this try putting him down for naps lil before he actually gets super sleepy
Get his behaviors checked out first, he may be on the spectrum, before reprimanding him hard on his tantrums. Don’t react to his behaviors but try and film it for the pediatrician to see what he is like when he’s doing it.
dont get any easier at 35 either
Early intervention would be able to give you support and advice for handling his behaviour and helping him manage his emotions.
You need to take him to his dr. He may have something else going on that you aren’t aware of.
I have 3 kids. Learned real quick if you ignore the behavior they will stop. Let the kid throw a fit. Walk away. When they stop go back and go back to what you were trying to get them to do.
This is how my son is right now, is he getting any teeth? Maybe try having another friend with a child come over as well, maybe he’s lonely for a baby
He’s trying to communicate something to you. Or he literally is just wanting his way. Negative reinforcements. Ignore the bad behavior and redirect to something that would help him express how he is feeling. Terrible twos are rough but they do pass. When he isn’t throwing a fit give lots of positive reinforcement.
The terrible two age. Just be firm with him and don’t coddle him