stand firm on no co-sleeping. IMO, that’s something that should NEVER be started (and was not with my kids).
start a bed time routine: warm bath, maybe some warm milk or tea afterward, a good book to read to him (a chapter book is good bc you can say you can only read one part a night and they have to go to sleep to hear the next part), a night light and maybe the smell of lavender along with whatever meds his doctors has him on.
if he tries to come in your room, you redirect him to yours. he will eventually get it. i’m not understanding why his dad is encouraging this nightmare.
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He’s still your baby too! Lots of things going on in his short years of life. I wouldn’t want to be alone either! They’re only little once. When your son looks back on his young years he may wonder why he’s even having two homes to go to. why is it that Mom was distant and only cared about the younger baby and not him. Dad is definitely going to end up being the hero in this because when he’s feeling scared and uncomfortable he can always go to his arms while he is torturing your sleep! Give the boy the security he needs. He will outgrow that need but right now that need is very real.
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I understand your reasoning but I think co-sleeping is your best option. I would also quit the Benadryl and melatonin and tire him out naturally. If not co sleeping at least cuddling him until he falls asleep and then sneaking out. Sorry you both are exhausted 
Something to note…Benadryl has the opposite effect on some children. It makes them hyper. This happened with my husband when he was younger, and also to (only one) of my identical twin daughters…
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That’s what I was going to say, let him sleep with , you omg , you know the answer to your solution, , you both could be sleeping but you cause your own problem, then ask for advice here , if you want to sleep , let him sleep with you. If you don’t suffer and stop whining on Facebook , it’s called being a parent to all kids not just one.
It’s so sad you’re giving him so much medicine to sleep instead of just co-sleeping 
Benadryl makes my kiddo hyper, not sleepy. Also, you really can’t tell Dad that he’s not allowed to co-sleep…as long as he’s not harming your child you don’t really have a right to tell him how to parent. Seems like he may be doing the better job 
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Some of you people are just awful people. Instead of trying to make her feel guilty for not co-sleeping how about you do what is asked?
She didnt ask how long you co-sleep for, or if she would miss it. Lots of families do not co-sleep and you say nothing to them! She asked advise in how to help the situation!
Have you considered getting one if those heartbeat stuffed animals? Let him sleep in your shirt at night.
My son loved his glow worm. The little guy who lights up and plays music. Maybe its to quiet in his room? Maybe a fan would help?
You got this momma! 
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Melatonin will play havoc with your child’s natural rhythm if it’s not needed. I can’t believe your kid is on serious meds for something that just needs good sleep hygiene. Try cutting out a bath before bed and have stories and lullabies instead with a warm drink.
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(numbering to keep thoughts in order)
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Make sure that he’s getting PLENTY of large muscle movement during the day.
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Ask Dad what his nighttime routine looks like specifically and try to follow that
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Sleeping with his brother isn’t the same as sleeping with a parent if your 3 year old is a restless sleeper could be part of the problem in addition to all the different stimuli.
Ask Dad for a Tshirt that smells like him and see if that helps your little one sleep better. When I was a toddler my grandparents said that I slept better if I had a shirt that smelled like my mom.
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Let him lay in your bed until he falls asleep and then move him.
Or lay in bed with him until he falls asleep.
Again sometimes this isn’t just about not wanting to sleep alone but wanting to be near someone that makes them feel safe and secure.
I’d stop melatonin/Benadryl combo. Benadryl has bad side effects.
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I would find a new pediatrician first of all, because Benadryl every night sounds dangerous to me. It should only be given that for allergies, colds, but not every single night for sleep. Obviously it’s not working. Have you tried getting in his bed with him until he falls asleep? I wasn’t a co-sleeper but if they were afraid, had a bad dream, or were sick, absolutely they could. Sometimes we have to look at things we’ve decided we will never do, and change it up - for the child’s well being. He won’t always want to sleep with you, but if he’s waking you up 5-6 times every night, then what you’re doing clearly does not work, and can be detrimental to his physical and emotional health. Please at least try getting in his bed each night until he falls asleep. If that’s not enough, take him to bed with you - he is a growing child, and needs sleep. Your child’s needs come first, way before your wishes and wants.
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My 3yo always slept with me. He was my last baby (I have 4) and I just needed to soak in all the moments bc I knew I wouldn’t get them again. Just recently he started sleeping in his own bed sharing a room with his brother. I transitioned him first by laying him in his bed once he had already fallen asleep. Then he got to the point where I could put him to bed awake and he would go to sleep in there. When he wakes up he comes in my room. Most nights he sleeps all night though. Some nights he still wants to sleep in my bed. And I let him bc some nights I need him too. My 7 yo has been back to sleeping in my bed for the last 2 months bc she broke her arm at school and I didn’t want her climbing her bunk bed through the night. They are only little for so long and you never know when that day they no longer need to sleep with you is going to come. If your baby wants to sleep with you and feels more comfortable, let him. He won’t sleep with you forever. 
Yah. I have an advice- stop giving him Benadryl and melatonin! Other than that- change diet, calming music, no lights in the room, no liquids before bed… He is just excited to spend time with you!
Weightless by Marconi Union on repeat worked wonders for my turrdler! He is 8 now and he still listens to it at bedtime!
Most adults don’t like to sleep alone why would a toddler who is scared? Plus stop the medications. Melatonin has been showing to have not good effects on kids
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Lol either cosleep or don’t sleep… pretty much… my 4 year old autistic kid is the same… it’s not worth the sleep deprivation…
. It’s rlly nit
First, you need a new doctor ASAP! Drugging your child is NOT the answer
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There’s a lot going on in this little guy’s life. If I read it correctly you have him, a 3 year old and an 18 month old? That in itself is a lot for a little kid.
Co sleeping might not be a horrible idea.
Benadryl should not be used for sleep aid it doesn’t work like that
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Seems like cosleeping is your answer. Seems like having a kid sleep with you are less of a punishment than bring sleep deprived. Anyway… grownups cosleep… why do we expect kids to sleep alone? We are pack animals.
This sounds like you hate your kid. Or hate yourself and projecting that hate onto your own child. Stop shoving drugs down your child’s throat! And hiding behind the excuse a doctor said it is okay. YOU know it isn’t.
Your child is perfectly fine being able to cosleep. You can’t sleep either. So why wouldn’t you? It sounds like you don’t have him much. Why are you not letting him sleep? Are you enjoying the pain he is going through? Doing this to resent and get back at the dad?
Man. So much to unpack here.
But this child doesn’t need to be near you, and my heart hurts for him.
You need therapy, and I say this with compassion. Because moving forward nothing you’re going to do solo is going to work, if this is your mindset.
Someone needs to step in and show you a healthier way.
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So, my 6-year-old was put on clonidine because he had severe insomnia to the point that he would not fall asleep until almost midnight, and then he would be up and ready to go for the entire day at 3:00 a.m. this started at the age of four and a half the insomnia did, and then once he turned five the pediatrician started him on the clonidine. He now has a diagnosis of severe ADHD. It may be something to look into, Benadryl and melatonin got to the point that it did not help us at all.
Benadryl makes my child hyper btw. If I have to give him some at night (he gets bad reactions to mosquito bites), he’s up half the night. Stop giving him that.
And tire him out!
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Melatonin can make some kids awake all night. Especially at higher dosages but some even with a little. Benadryl is iffy too.
Maybe stop pumping him full of pharmaceuticals and just cuddle the poor kid to sleep
Benadrylncan cause hyper activity
You should just cosleep, you’re your own worst enemy right now
You aren’t supposed to take benadryl regularly, a doctor should know that! A child also shouldn’t be drugged to sleep 
. Often benadryl has the opposite effect on small children and instead of making them sleepy it keeps them from being able to sleep. You don’t have your child full time, I’d just let the babe sleep with you and ditch the unnecessary drugs 
So you would rather give your toddler benadryl to get him to sleep rather than lay with him? I get not wanting to cosleep but maybe make a good bedtime routine where you read him stories, tell him all the reasons you love him and make him feel safe. I lay with my daughter until she falls asleep and she sleeps peacefully now. I get a dr may have prescribed benadryl for sleep but I’ll be honest in saying my drs would not or never recommend that. Giving a child benadryl every day is not good for their brains.
Put your kid in front of yourself and put yourself in their shoes. He is going through a lot in his little life and just needs love and reassurance.
U n dad need to get on the same page. It’s super unhealthy for ur kid.
My ex pushed co-sleeping from day 1. I wasn’t comfortable & didn’t sleep well. Once he was out of the picture & she knew there was no choice but to sleep in her own bed she slept longer. I reccomend OP get a few Drs opinions on this & take him to court. If co-sleeping doesn’t stop then over nights at dads needs to.
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Your Pediatrician told you to give him Benadryl for sleep? 
Find a new pediatrician….