My toddler has become destructive: Advice?

My son is two and so far it’s okay, but now he is VERY destructive he is using his plastic shovel to hit stuff. This is the first time for his attitude I need a little help… he has been pretty good up until this.

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He is just being a 2 yr old boy

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Welcome to the terrible 2s. It gets no better with the terroristic 3s and fucker 4s lmao

Take it away and tell him why

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Take the shovel away?

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Normal 2 year old behavior. Time to start disciplining. Taking toys away, time outs, etc.

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He’s two! Sounds pretty normal. Correct his behavior let him know it’s not ok. You will be dealing with a lot of this. If it gets too bad try a time out.

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Direct him towards things that he can be destructive towards.

Take it away and explain why and then give him another chance if he does it again take it away put him in timeout and don’t let him have it back for a day or so

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idk… maybe take the shovel away? hes 2. they are made to be destructive. it’s your job to teach him OVER TIME how to no be like that.

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Sounds normal to me. Just continue to consistently teach him what is and isn’t appropriate and eventually, his behavior will even out.

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NOT normal behavior. It needs to be taken away and explain why. If he continues, he should be punished. It’s not ok. It will get worse if you allow it.! Good luck :heart:

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We call our 3 year old grandson destructo boy! Start taking away his favorite toys when he does this.

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Terrible twos…

Take the shovel away. Be stern and consistent.

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Nows the time to tell him santa didnt make it through the pandemic

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Welcome to the terrible twos and beyond

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Terrible twoa as they say. My advise would be take the shovel away and one of his favorite toys. Tell Everytime he misbehaves like that you will take you away. Should he break something. Take another toy and tell him that since he broke something of yours (intentional) that is now garbage his toy is now garbage. Don’t let him see where your hiding his things tho. As his behavior improves he can 1 toy at a time Back

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They all do stuff like this. It’s like caveman dna or something so you have to keep him entertained on more productive physical activity. Jumping, running, helping out with taking out the trash will engage the arm and chest muscles…swimming is good.

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I have 3 boys, so far they have broken 2 windows, too many plates bowls and glasses to count, a bed, a dresser, 3 toilets, countless toys and luckily no bones (yet).
You get used to it, accidents happen. He’s only 2, the term terrible two’s exists for a reason. Just be consistent with your punishments and be patient.

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Its called terrible twos , hes testing his bonderies, put down rules, take things away and time out .

Welcome to terrible twos. Brace yourself for THREEnager stage. If you don’t have any type of time outs or some type of structure he continue doing it. Take away toys and explain why and give it back when behavior changes and an apology. Simple

When mine were that age I did a toddler chart if they were good all day they would put a sticker on the day but make sure it’s done before bed time at the end of the week they would be rewarded only if all the days had stickers on them ( ice cream , toy from dollar store etc ) if they were bad during the day they dont get a sticker another u could make a healthy snack basket with a couple dollar store toys in it and let ur little one choose 1 thing from the basket

Sports! Lol put that energy into something fun

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Take the shovel away…

Terrible twos it’s normal

LoL…wait till the 3’s kick in :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:
I have a girl. I imagined a gentle, elegant, twinkle toed princess…we call her ‘Demolition Satan’. She breaks…EVERYTHING!
It gets worse. Just brace yourself, launch the shovel up the garden, drink coffee and keep the little person alive. Good luck!

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Shit my son is 1 and doing this. I’m screwed

Take the shovel away

Definitely normal behavior.

It’s normal lol… I can say 8-10 was a nice phase… my sons almost 12 so we are back to the toddler phase 2.0 also knows as preteen :woman_facepalming:t2::woman_facepalming:t2:

I feel you my son is 3 and is going through a hitting phase when he doesn’t get his way. I feel every child is different. What I did in the past with my girls definitely does not work in him. What every you do just stay consistent

Sounds pretty normal, mines forever running about bashing things shouting he’s fixing :weary: definitely is not fixing. He’s like a bull in a china shop. We just decorated the games room and yesterday he found a felt tip from god knows where and drew all over the walls :sob:. It won’t come off so we are decorating again. Good luck.

My son is 3 he’s destructive when he’s frustrated or when things are not going his way. But then again he has ADHD and doesn’t communicate very well.

My son did the same. He got one reminder to not hit things with whatever object and if he did it again it got taken away. Lots of tears and it’s not fair, but mostly stopped over time. Now I just need to say his name when he’s hitting something and he stops.

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I have 3 boys and 2 nephews and I have learned that all boys go through this stage. Just like us women go through a hormonal moody stage as teenagers, boys go through an aggressive destructive phase during their childhood. My mother-in-law raised 4 boys and she says the same thing. It usually starts around 4 or 5 and ends between 11 and 13, or so I’m told. What you are describing sounds like normal toddler behavior. Lord help us.

Get him something he’s allowed to pound on-- a pillow, a toy hammer/ pounder, whatever. Then make the rules clear and CONSISTENT. You may hit (toy) but hitting other things is NOT allowed or mommy will take away your toy you’re hitting with.

18mths same thing i just tell him No not nice and correct the behavior, take away an item if needed. Lots of tears ans mini tantrums but he cant be throwing his cup, food, hitting or slapping people in the face…its a phase…mines a demon for 2 min and then an angel for am hr with giggles and kisses i just roll with it the best i can

It only gets worse. It’s the age. You have to be very patient with them. I’m going through the same thing and it seems to be getting worse but he has good days too

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in montesorri, there’s something called positive discipline. one concept is, no blame, no shame, no pain. dont blame the child, dont call him shameful words, dont inflict pain emotionally/physically.
it they’re acting out (not tantrums) is more than likely they’re frustrated. tots have little patience, so take out frustrations to whatever, whoever.
my LO is undergoing this phase too, when she acts out, i’ll take the item away, distract her, bring her somewhere else where she wont see the cause of frustration, let her cry a good cry to release the tension then talk to her. i’d ask if she was mad and what made her mad. thru pointing, simple words, you’ll realize what has happened and then u can think of what can be done to avoid the same.
On occassions when she’s in the mood, happy and giggly, i’d teach her “gentle hands”. to slowly put glass down the table, to put her dish away carefully, to hug her cousin, to carress her dolls rather than slap them. and to say please and excuse me if she needs anything. it takes time, we haven’t perfected it yet, she’s my firstborn, but it definitely lessened the slapping, punching and kicking.

Terrible two’s. Take the shovel, put it on a high shelf, tell him when he stops hurting things, he can have it back.

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When my girls (2&1) get like this I make them sit down and tell them they need to get it together, compose themselves, talk to Jesus, and multiple other sayings that basically mean calm your butt down. After I see they are calmer, I go talk to them about their behavior and see if I can’t decipher what’s wrong.

My two year old is this way too. She’s a late talker and in speech so I’m guessing her anger and frustration is related to us not understanding her. She’s a thrower and she pinched her sisters and pulls their hair. I hope she outgrows it’s soon. We don’t punish her but tell her ‘no’ and that the behavior is not nice .

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My Mom would always send me outside when I started acting that way. She would always be outside to watch me and play with me sometimes. I eventually just started going outside when I got upset or agitated or angry. Just make it kind of like a routine and it should kick in one day soon.

My daughter started doing that around 2 too. :roll_eyes: God love these wonderful toddler stages. Lol I personally, just took the “aggressor” aka the toy away, and would make her say sorry to “the other toy”. She would walk up and smack the shit out of a toy with… i mean anything. So I made her say sorry every time. Idk toddlers are weird. It nipped it in the butt though. But now she a apologizes to inanimate objects

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grand age of terrible two’s. it’s a normal stage all mine went threw it. its hard work and this is when you need to show and tell them right from wrong without pulling your own hair out or sitting in bathroom crying which I did a few times, but by god by time their 15 u wish it was back to terrible two’s x

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I have an almost three year old and we have been dealing with all of these behaviors. When I consulted the pediatrician, she recommended I read a book called Raising a Spirited Child. It is amazing and has helped our family so much. I highly recommend it!

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Find something they enjoy. Mine was music. Something that calms them. Trying to teach them how to control their frustration is hard. It’s something most of us domt learn until a much later age.

My son is a year & a half old & he does this as well! His dad & I give him 2 warnings & if he goes to hit with his toys a 3rd time he gets it taken away & we tell him he can get it back tomorrow or when we feel like he is ready to get them back & that he is not supposed to hit people/animals with his toys.

Omg good luck!! Mine started doing that at 2 and still does it and he just turned 3. He throws things, hits everything with any object he can find. And “no” means do it more and harder!

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They call it terrible twos for a reason lol, my son is only 1 and a half and already going through this

My is two and a half currently beating his rocking horse with his tablet shrugs maybe age

Start taking things he likes away. Explain to him that when he naughty he losses something he likes. For example ipad, a fav toy. He will soon get the message. You have to set the rules and dont give in.

My grandson did that also, hitting his little sister all the time. He’s four now and doesn’t do that anymore, but now his 3 year old sister does and he’s very affronted. He doesn’t remember ever doing that now!

He’s two. He’s learning. Just say no, take it away if you have to say no again. My 15 month old gets put in her play pen when she won’t listen and she usually calms right down in about two minutes

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My beautiful happy little man turned 2 and turned into a little shit! One minute he’s his adorable self, the next, satan

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We also need to look at how we as adults react to things.They learn from us.

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Sounds like shovel needs to just go away…
My daughter is getting into similar, shes two. She throws something, uses something to hit with, it goes away.

Take shovel and other toys away unless he plays nice

My 5 year old was the same as her routine and school stopped xx has your routine gone out of whack with the pandemic? XX

Take it away tell him that it is not nice to hit.But he is 2 he is seeing what he can get away with.I don’t believe in time out never worked with my kids.

Snap his plastic shovel.

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Take the shovel off him

Take the shovel off him

Take the Shovel away.

Tell him no and take it away.

Take away the shovel

Take away the shovel…

Hammer pounding toy…or you could consider a toy drum! :joy:

And…take away the shovel?? 🤷

Lots of verbal redirecting

They dont call them the terrible twos for nothing, lol. He hopefully will outgrow but in the meantime take whatever he using in his destruction, take it away explaining until he uses it properly he can’t have it back. Be patient and good luck!!

We got an old pot and spoon and taught him drums…when he hit other things I told him no that’s not the drum…he went to the drum :joy: worked for us he now has a little electric drum kit as it’s not as loud …

I’d hardly say that is destructive unless he’s aggressively hurting himself or others.
He’s exploring and expressing himself. My son used to scream, hit, kick, head butt the floor (hard) and throw things.
Provide a safe a environment in which he can be allowed to express himself, it’s a phase that all children go through and experience differently.
I learned they get frustrated at this age because they can’t speak or communicate well so they are trying to express themselves in other ways.
If he’s banging on things why not make it in to a game and join in, a sort of misdirection, I’m sure he’d love that :slightly_smiling_face:

Positive reinforcement. Take him outside, let him help you in the garden with the shovel, play in the sand, teach him the proper way/place to use the item. And praise him when he uses them correctly.

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Redirection if that doesn’t work show him consequences ie time out taking toys away ect mine is about to turn 3 had this phase gave him pails and plastic version of wooden spoons to bang on it worked for awhile but then he went after my stuff so he got in trouble after a few times of consequences he stopped

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Forget Dr spock and use his little shovel on his ass lightly change will come

He’s doing what you allow him to get away with…

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Love and logic…YouTube videos and books.

He’s just being a boy they have so much energy it’s exhausting. I had 2 Irish twin boys 17yrs ago and I was exhausted for 12yrs. Good luck with him tho

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Please don’t listen to folks saying this is ok and normal. It is not. Stop it now before they are older.

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Maybe try buying him a drum kit and teach him to hit that instead. Show him how to use different objects correctly etc x

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Redirect him. Take the shovel away, thats an outside toy anyway, and redirect his attention. Teach him that hitting things isn’t ok. The sooner he learns that the better.

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Time out in corner for 2 min. Gets nothing. My kids had a time out for each age they were.

Take away and time out. If that don’t work then dump it :woman_shrugging:t4: Worked for me.

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Take shovel away it belongs outside.

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He’s learning cause and effect. If he hits something it breaks/falls/flies and he sees the effect his actions caused. Now, to help it become a concrete lesson when he does it be sure to verbalize his action, the effect, and the consequence. “Wow! You hit your toy with your shovel and it fell down. When we hit our toys they break and we can’t play with them anymore.”. Then give him something he can bang away at (the pots and pans?) without ruining anything.

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Just being a normal 2yr old boy!

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Only gets worse from here on out🤣

My son breaks everything. Pushes stuff of tables. If we play a game he comes and destroys the area.

So everything is put up and we schedule activities around his nap :wink:

Wait until TV’s and windows get broken :joy:

Thats nothing lol so far for me the 4’s were the worst

Step one pull down pants
step two wet hands to increase sting
step 3 WHOOP HIS FREAKING BUTT

a spanking a day keeps the attitude away
no kid has ever died from a spanking

quit letting kids run the damn show

Try baby sign language…will give him a way to communicate and be less frustrated…

He is 2 haven’t you heard of the terrible twos…ignore it he’ll stop.