I have a 3.5 year old who I believe is on the spectrum (He’s been screened before and his doctor doesn’t agree; I have Aspergers) He will not stop peeing in his room, on the carpet. I want to say he’s 100% potty trained but I can’t. Zero accidents in the middle of the night, he can hold it in the car for a few minutes if we need to stop for him ect. He will realize that he has to go and half of the time run to his room and close the door. He pulls down his pants and boxers 100% of the time, he does not like urine on him whatso ever (hard to even get him to aim sometimes lol) I’ve tried to put him in pull-ups for night time but he removes them to pee, so I don’t want to back track. I’ve also tried making it fun, like let’s go pee on the porch outside or sure, you can pee in the tub. It’s been about 2 months of telling him he can’t pee on carpet. Our dog peed in his room about a month ago and my son thought it was disgusting, how do I get him to feel the same about his pee?? I’ve had to rug doctor and pay a steamer already, it wreaks. I will note he’s not a great listener, I’ll say the same thing in what seems like 5 different languages and it isn’t until I raise my voice he listens. Looking to get him into daycare soon, his only socializing is the park everyday it’s not raining. He does have a speech delay, he won’t use filler words yet but is getting better. (He had two lip ties and a tongue tie we had fixed when he was a baby) Just feeling burnt out; any advice, tips, activities ect would be amazing!
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I used a rewards chart. It could be for a small toy, going out for ice cream, a movie…whatever your son is into.
It’s possible that something in the bathroom has scared him.
Take him to a Child Urologist
potty chair in his bedroom???
Try keeping a potty chair in his room
Replace the carpet with laminate or wood it needs to be replaced anyway having urine in the carpet that you can smell when you walk in regardless of steam cleaning is cause for removal I’m a foster parent and have had kids removed from their families for this. If you can’t replace right away I would go as far as getting a drop cloth like they use when painting and cover the entire carpet. My kids did this one time and a good spanking and 15 min in the corner did the trick but nowdays parents are such 
they don’t realize spanking is a good tool to have in your arsenal when you’ve tried everything else.
Try putting a little dish wash liquid in the bowl, maybe Dad can show him how to make bubbles, kids like bubbles !
Insist he clean up after himself
Try to put cheerios in toilet tell him to aim for the cheerios make a game out if it" reverse psychology is the key to kids with mental delays
Have you had his hearing checked? Just wondering as he has a speech delay and doesn’t seem to pay attention until you raise your voice.
I would not allow him to pee anywhere but the toilet. Letting him go in the tub and outside is sending mixed messages. Hopefully it’s only a stage and he will learn that the toilet is the only place to pee
Make him clean it up. Every single time you make him clean it up. He should stop because he’ll get tired of having to clean it.
Go with him to potty for a while. I wouldn’t be allowing him to go into his room and close the door to pee. Use time-outs when he does.
I put a potty in my kids room when my youngest started doing that so that they’d know there’s a safe place to go in there if they feel the need to hide when they go
Toilet him every hour until he goes regularly in the correct place.
Contact your local public
School’s special education department. Let them know you’re concerned that your 3.5 yo may have autism, that is if you suspect he does and could benefit from preschool. They can screen and diagnose educational autism and then provide him and you with resources and or behavioral therapy for free in a preschool setting.
Put a little potty in his room
Have u tried putting cheap dish soap in the toilet and having him pee in there? It makes bubbles lots of them and is fun for kids only way I got my son potty trained honestly after I tried everything with him…
Do you have a potty chair? Put it in his room. Maybe his room is a safe place. For some kids, letting go of their bodily fluids(more specifically poop in my experience) can be a scary thing. If he will use a potty seat put it in his room.
Idk because my son did it when he was 4 or 5. He would even pee in his closet or toy box. I would whoop his butt Everytime he did it. He finally stopped about a couple weeks to a month after I started spanking him. Do not judge me we all parent different.
He would do it in the morning before I woke up or during the night.
Potty chair in his room and maybe a new doctor to test him. I wouldn’t want a doctor for my kid of they didn’t believe me and what medical issues I have.
I have soecial needs kiddos. I always have them clean up after themselves. One daughter is blind and non verbal. Only 2-3 times of cleaning it up herself did the trick! 
A potty chair, paint bucket, puppy pads etc. in his room might help. You could always pull up carpet and put down linoleum until he learns better. At least you’d be able to clean it up and not ruin the floorboards, bc it’s gonna smell like urine forever if you don’t and he continues to go on the carpet.
Have you tried one of these fun urinals? They have a little spinner to help little boys learn how to aim, too. You can try to make it a game, and give him a reward every time he pees in the urinal.
Or make a sticker chart, and he gets to put a sticker on there every time he pees in the urinal, and if he gets a certain amount of stickers each week, then he gets a special prize - something he really wants, you’ll have to figure out what that is, something that will motivate him enough to want to use the urinal.
Good luck, momma!
Remove carpeting & make him clean up after himself & clean himself off each time. Don’t allow him to pee anywhere else except a toilet. Don’t send mixed messages. Tell him he has to be a big boy & they use toilets. Get him in to see a specialist that deals better with Autism as well
When I potty trained my ex husbands nephew, I would throw Smarties in the toilet and make it a game of trying to pee on them.
Unpopular opinion here. 
do not come at me!! If he can communicate the need to go and can hold it in the car and bedtime and uses the toilet everywhere else then stick him in a time out for peeing in his room. Take a favorite toy away until he can stop peeing in his floor.
Make him clean it himself. By hand.
Put a kids urinal in bathroom or even his bedroom. My son had one that looked like a frog. He thought it was the best thing ever.
Also, regarding him being on the spectrum… Definitely get him evaluated and see what support he may need, but whatever you do, please stay away from ABA. It is so very damaging to autistic children. If you’d like more info, please lmk.
Alot of kids are this way
Give him a potty chair to keep in his private little pee area. Gradually show him he can also get privacy by shutting the bathroom door or announcing to the rest of the family he’s going to use the bathroom so nobody interrupts him. My son is super weird about privacy lately (I think it’s because he puts his hands on top of his head to poop and it’s silly so we’ve laughed lol) so now he always tells me, his dad and sister that he’s going to the bathroom then he locks the door and does his thing 
GET HIS EARS CHECKED!!! My brother had all the same things happening. They can’t hear you good and can’t understand you good so they don’t learn things the way they normally would. My brother had fluid build up behind his ears and when they out tubes in he was speaking clearly, listening to rules and following them, etc!!! Please please please ask for a referral to an ear, nose, throat doctor for children!!
Put linoleum in his room maybe he won’t like the hard cold floor
That’s not necessarily an autistic thing. Many kids can take years to fully potty train, and even then sometimes they go backwards a few years later. He’s on his own timeline just keep working with him.
I would try some type of urinal in his room, and hopefully with progress you could move it to the bathroom and he’ll want to start going in the bathroom
Seems that he do it by choice , start making him clean it himself
I’m just here to say a mix of vinegar and hot water through a carpet shampooer will get rid of that smell. About half and half. And then just use whatever you would use regularly through the shapooer.
Girl, consider yourself lucky. I have 5 kids of my own and have been raising kids all my life. I have seen kids at this age do everything from making pee mud pies to playing in poop. Oh goodness, one kid pooped in my bathroom sink once. It’s normal, especially at this age. It’s always around 3 they… Idk, become interested in poop and pee. Just keep reaffirming it is gross and not acceptable. He’ll get it. I’m going to edit to add, the pee mud pies just happened the other day with my 3 year old son. We live in NM and have not had rain in months and months. There is no mud to be found. So when he walked in and started patting out a ball of mud into a pie it was very suspicious. Sure enough, he made himself some pee mud and thought it was the funniest thing ever. Even showed the dogs on his way to the bathroom to wash his hands, laughing all the way.
Remove the carpet and maybe an urinal… Even in his room if completely necessary… Definitely make him clean it up tho!
Get him a potty chair for his room. Put it where he pees.
OH, btw, use this on your carpet! It’s made to clean animal urine, but totally works on human urine too! It’s an enzyme cleaner, which is what you need to kill the pungent urine smell! This is what we have used in the past for both human and pet urine, and it was a lifesaver, it works so well! Totally worth the money!
I don’t have suggestion on the issue at hand, but if you are in United States he is entitled to an evaluation by the school district and therapy if he qualifies.
My now 10 year old was doing this…when he was younger. Turns out he was just mad with me.
Is he in there playing when he does this ? If so he probably doesn’t want to walk away from playing and take the time to go to the restroom. One of my boys who has ADHD peed in a ziplock and stuck it in his drawer when he was about 4. That’s exactly what he told me when I found it . I didn’t want to stop playing, it takes too long to go to the bathroom. I’d suggest not letting him have alone playtime after an incident and explaining why he cant be trusted to be in his room alone . If not maybe a potty chair in his bedroom , to me that’s just asking for future troubles though. Also I have decals of targets in my boys toilet’s always have since potty training. They have always loved them and it’s made it more fun for them . That might be worth a shot . Good luck
https://www.ldonline.org/ld-topics/working-families/evaluation-what-does-it-mean-your-child. Info about evaluation parents are entitled to for child
Use shaving cream on the smelly carpet. It works. As moms our kids kinda listen and dismiss our advice. Maybe have someone else a man maybe tell him how gross it is. Have his dad show him the right way to do it? If not a diaper at night wirh a onsie or jammies on backward so he cant take it off to pee on the floor.
Try getting one of the kids urinals or make it fun by putting cherrios as targets in the toilet and see if he’ll use those! Also cat urine spray works wonders on human pee as the enzymes break down human urine as well 
Also if he is on the spectrum is it a sensory issue with the bathroom that he doesent like to use the toilet? Like maybe it’s too loud and overwhelming to hear his pee stream in the toilet?
My son had a very short. At that age where he was also peeing on the carpet. I don’t know why and I don’t know how but he did stop doing it. So don’t fret too much.
Have him clean and SCRUB IT UP EVERYTIME!!!
If his doctor says there’s nothing wrong with him that would make this happen inwhich I don’t believe it is or he’d not just choose his room…? He definitely needs to be cleaning & scrubbing to best of his ability up. You &/or somebody needs sit him down let him know ‘nobody likes urine on them’ & nobody’s gonna clean his up. If he keeps it up after having to clean it uo a week or so then ‘his room is off limits, lock the door’ & see what happens. I believe in doing all one can to nick it in the butt asap or u’ll have worse problems…again, take him doctor be aure doc says he has nothing wrong with him
Put a potty in there or put lino down. Maybe he is scared to go in the night so leave lights on and the door open maybe.
My daughter did that. Is it the same spot every time? I moved her room around and covered that area so then she quit. Not sure why she did that. My other 3 never did. Reminded me of a dog lol. She would just squat and pee instead of going to the bathroom. Didn’t wet the bed either. Maybe have more lighting to the bathroom perhaps.
Are you in the states? If you are take your child to the local school and ask about their DEVELOPMENTAL pre k program, its for kids with special needs, when they turn 3 years old, they will test him and then determine his placement. Take him back to his doctor and tell him to refer you to a psychiatrist that does testing for this, this young, its usually a 6 hour test done over 2 days in the office, if the doctor says no, say well i am not leaving till he has a refertal for the testing and a referral to speech therapy. Refuse to leave the office till he gives you those referrals in hand, if you dont get on this now he will be so far behind when school does start. My son has autism and we did this. The school didnt give him an official diagnosis till he was in 2nd grade and he got an IEP then. But let me tell you, my son was in diapers till he was 5 years old. He went to developmental pre k and they changed his diaper, and you have cleaned his carpet and it still smells, you may have to tear up the carpet and baseboards and tear up the flooring, i bet the urine has seeped down into the floor boards and then it dont matter how much you clean the carpets, once it is in the floor, it will smell till its replaced.
Vinegar for the smell
I don’t have a solution to help him not pee in his room but maybe you could get an incontinence pad to put on the carpet where he does pee. That way you can just wash the pads and not have to keep getting the carpet cleaned.
From what I know of people on the spectrum, they all have their little things they do. It’s hard to break them of it but we can find ways to live with it easier.
Have him scrub the carpet and if part of it is closing the door maybe remove it.
Toilet training pads in the room? Remove the carpet. Leave the bathroom light on. Put stickers on the toilet or wall and get him to help so it’s more fun. A reward chart. Tbh I don’t know good luck
Have him clean up his own mess. He needs consequences for this. You’ve repeatedly told him not to do it and he isn’t listening so now it’s time to give him consequences for doing it.
My son is 5 yrs and was doing that. He said he has to go super bad and can’t hold it and would go.
Yes made him clean it and no tv.
What made him change is having him clean it and also putting a potty in the room.
You may need to put waterproof blanket down or something to avoid a huge clean up each time.
My sister ms kids also pee their pants although they say they’re scared to walk down hallway to go use bathroom.
First thing is take the carpet out. My son went through this phase when he was much younger but thankfully it didn’t last more than a few weeks.
Put a bucket in his room?
Could simply be he is 3 1/2. Take the carpet out of his room
My 4 yr old, who was diagnosed as being on the spectrum at 2, does this all the time lately!!
My daughter started doing this too at the same age, I have no idea why either
You may need to take out the carpet. When he pees in his room, have him clean it up. If he says he can’t wait, put a potty or a bucket in his room. Tell him he must use those or you will start putting his toys up, or you will start turning off the TV. When he goes to the bathroom or uses the potty/bucket, reward him with stickers on a calendar or chart you make up on a poster board.
Time to remove the carpet in his room
You’ll need to replace the carpet, underpaid and maybe the subfloor depending on the amount of urine. Once it hits a certain point you can’t get the smell out unless you remove those things.
Have you taught him to sit to pee or do you prefer him to stand? You may need to block off the area he’s been doing it in so that he will stop. Maybe lock his room once he’s out of it in the morning.
You’ll need to replace the carpet, underpaid and maybe the subfloor depending on the amount of urine. Once it hits a certain point you can’t get the smell out unless you remove those things.
Have you taught him to sit to pee or do you prefer him to stand? You may need to block off the area he’s been doing it in so that he will stop. Maybe lock his room once he’s out of it in the morning.
Maybe try putting a kids potty or even a bucket in his room and having him pee in that.
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Put Cheerios in the toilet and have your child aim for them. Make a game out of it for neuro reset and desensitization of his current routine.
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Put a potty or bucket in his room maybe? I know its not ideal but also could remove the carpet to wooden floors or vinyl?
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Positive reinforcement works great for kids…basically give him something to work for, something he enjoys, etc. preteach him that if he does not pee on the floor for a certain amount of days then he gets the positive reinforcement. I work with kids with Autism and offering them an alternative to this behavior (replacement behavior like peeing on the toilet) and then he will receive his reward. Social stories online work great as well along with the positive reinforcement.
I’d remove the carpet and put vinyl. It will be easier to wipe or mop up. If you put wood laminate it could seep through the cracks and you’d have the same problem as the carpet. Also put a potty in his room. When he stops doing it, then put a small area rug as a trial to see if he starts again.
Ask him. He’s not dumb. Sit him down and have a heart to heart about …
1.why he feels it necessary to go on the carpet.
2. Why can he not go in the potty?
3. Is he scared of the potty?
4. Why is ok for him but not the dog? What’s the difference?
5. How can I help you feel safe when using the potty?
God bless.
Get the targets that go in the toilet for training boys make it a game. Teach him he can’t pee anywhere inside but the toilet.
But he can pee on the grass or trees outside at home.
Coming from someone who works with kids on the spectrum get a second opinion asap.
He will get there. My six year old was the same way at that age, he knew the concept but they will when they want to. My three year old knows the potty but is instigative/smart butt ( does things for a reaction lol) he does it too yet. Unless wearing a diaper and DECIDES to use the potty!! Kids go at there own pace. Just explain how yucky it is and have him help clean it? Every child is different so every method is different.
I agree with everyone saying to change the flooring in the room to vinyl or something, granite it’s not the only solution here, but if he thinks pee is so gross & has vinyl flooring where it’ll just puddle around him instead of soaking into the carpet, then that may deter him from peeing in there cause it’ll probably flow over to his feet/splash up off the ground on his legs
Cover all the carpet in plastic. The pee will splash on him as he does a pee. That may change his mind on peeing in his room…
Get hardwood or laminate floors
Have him clean his rug where he pee if he can pee on the rug he can clean the rug my son is autistic and that how I handle it after few time cleaning the rug my son stop