My three 1/2yrs old son has been potty trained for a while now. But lately, he has been peeing and pooping in his underwear and hides it. Every time I ask if he needs to go potty, he says no or that he already went (which usually ends up being a couple of hrs ago). Then I told him to go potty, and he started crying, saying he didn’t want to go potty anymore. I’m at a loss. What could be making him not want to use the bathroom anymore? He’s never had a bad experience as far as I know. I even asked him if it hurt to go potty (thinking maybe UTI or bladder infection), but he said it doesn’t hurt. Any suggestions? TIA
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All my kids have had at least 2 relapses a piece. Usually it’s because they can’t be bothered going to the bathroom while being focused on something.
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My mom babysat 2 kids and the younger one was a boys about 2 or 3 and he refused to go potty even though he had been potty trained before. Come to find out his sister who was around 8 told him there was a monster in the toilet that wanted to eat him. She then had my brother scared so my mom had to tell her parents she could watch her anymore.
Sounds like hes either a) afraid of the potty or b) he figured out that he can go in his pants and keep playing. They can develop a fear. My daughter doesn’t like to flush. She had a toilet almost overflow on her and its scared her ever since. I keep working with her to flush and she’s starting to again but still is hesitant to push down on the handle. He will come around. I would put him back on a schedule. Pretty much potty training all over again.
My kid was scared of the toilet flushing
My Son did the same thing, he was constipated. Once that issue was fixed, all went back to normal.
My son does the same off and off sp we just went back to potty training him. He mostly has accidents when he is playing. So every so often we stop him to go to the bathroom. We do give him a treat for going and try to make it fun for him.
There are so many possibilities;
- (hopefully not) there was abuse or trauma
- infection that he cannot express as pain. Kids sometimes dont know how to explain their sensory in/out put
- could be constipated
- regression
- stress related regression
- fear/anticipation
The hiding it is for shame. He could also just be active. Like he wants to keep playing so he puts off using the potty until he bursts.
Sit him on the toilet, and dont ask him. Just say “let’s go potty!”. Maybe try talking to him or his doctor and just make sure nothing is wrong.
Deep breaths, it will pass.
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One of my grandsons was still pooping his pants when he was four, they had tried all kinds of things, they left him with me one weekend, when he pooped his pants I made him wash them out in the toilet, that was the end of pooped pants.
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Set a timer more frequent than how often he usually goes and don’t make going optional. When he has an accident, be nonchalant and hand him wipes and new clothes, then make him take care of it. Worked like a charm with my daughter.
I would talk to your pediatrician and ask for suggestions. Do you have a new baby ? Maybe the child is regressing ? I hope it all works out
I have the same issue going on with my 3 year old girl had her doing amazing then all of a sudden she stopped doing it again got told it was the baby but he is 1 now and she took to it all just fine I’m pulling my hair out…
When I was little I pooped my pants from time I was baby till grade school and the school would send me home and I would get spanking until they finally took me to colonoscopy and found out I had stage 2 cancer colon polyps then I quit getting spanked and now I Thank God healed me from. Stage 2 Colon polyps polyp
My boys did the same thing. Come to find out they thought a part of them was going away. So we would say goodbye to the poop and after a week they were good
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Maybe he had a hard poop from constipation and now he associates poop with pain, out grandson was holding his poop for days and as a result peeing his pants. Doctor said put 1/4 dose of myrlax in his food every day, stopped it
My sons both started this because they didnt want to miss their favorite tv show. Just sit them on the toilet and have them try to go. If they go great, and if not then thats okay too. Regression can be a normal part of potty training.
Bring him to his pediatrician and make sure there is nothing medically wrong and discuss this with his doctor.
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Take away his favorite thing and don’t give it back till he TELLS you it’s time to go potty. … I used the tv. Worked like a charm
Some times they are too busy playing to go potty !! Don’t want to lose their spot
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Is he in daycare or has he been in the care of someone when you’re away?
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Is it possible he could have been abused.
Good luck with potty training, but this should not be posted on this site. Contact other young mothers or a doctor for this problem. How is this relevant to " my Husband is a Blessing" .???
Try rewarding him even for just sitting on the potty, small maybe a m&m’s let him pick the color he likes, gives him a feel of control did this with my grandson worked like a charm
I never “asked” my toddlers. I would just tell them it was time to go try to potty. Then I would take them in the bathroom and make them try. We also never used a “potty seat” we just use the toilet.
Ugh. My son is doing the same thing! I’m at a loss to why as well. He dud great today though. Hopefully it stops
Always ask them every 30 minutes or so to go. My grandson hid behind the couch when he had to poop. This is after he would go to the bathroom. It’s just a 'its mine" stage I think. Second grandson wont go potty.
At that age kids rather play than take the time to use the bathroom. He may know he has to go and needs to go but in his little mind what he’s doing right then and there is more important, and when you tell him it’s time to go he may feel like you’re trying to do it as a punishment (making him stop what he’s doing just to use the bathroom lol) it’s a stage thing ! I learned this in my parenting class, patience is all you can give him and always always always reward him for using the potty ! My son is 4 and is just now WANTING to use the potty lmfao and gets sooo excited when he does but I’m sure as he gets older he will go back to being a lazy kid refusing the potty lol no need to worry mamas !
Did someone tell him a joke about the potty? I remember someone told me about snakes in the toilet when I was little.
Try a baby alive doll that pees and him train the doll all day.
Does he use a little potty or the toilet?
My daughter became afraid of the toilet around that age. She was scared a shark would come up through the water and bite her. Had to have someone go in with her so she’d be safe lol. Luckily it only lasted 6 months or so.
I would not wait a couple of hours in between poppy breaks. Ask more frequently and praise him for going.
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Could be also the toilet water splashed him and scared him.
Happened to mine.
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My gentle advice is maybe he’s trying to hide it because he feels pressured to be fully potty trained before he’s mentally or physically ready? That happened to me and my son, so I just started saying “Uh-oh, it’s okay! Let’s clean ourselves up and wash your clothes. It’s no biggie” and give him a big hug and tell him you love him no matter what. Within a month, he was back on track. Good luck! 
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Maybe pooping is hurting him…may be too big and it hurts him. My grandson went through this. You may need to take him to the Dr for some kid laxatives.
My daughter is sorta regressing right now on potty training . We are praising a whole bunch , reading as many stories as she wants while she’s on the potty and reminding her often if she needs to go potty let momma or daddy know . Don’t punish just remind him to use the big potty like a big guy .
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Does he go to daycare or get babysat by someone where he could of had an accident and been punished roughly and is now scared to go potty.
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Is he doing this so he can stay and play? Maybe give him stickers each time he goes to potty.
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Try different seats it took 4 to make my son happy enough to go every time
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He might prefer squatting to potty instead of sitting as it’s easier… might have to go back to the basics?
Someone new in the house? Some type of issue going on he’s uncomfortable
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That sounds pretty common. They don’t want to commit it using the toilet . It’s so convenient to go in your pants! Take him to the bathroom while talking about something to distract him. Then it’s easier to get him on the potty. Don’t expect him to go on his own.
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Give him 1 m&m ( or something healthier, he really likes) every time he successfully uses it, after 3 days my 2 yr old was trained
Keep putting him on the potty every half hr or so .
Don’t ask him if he needs to go just take him. I had to do that with my son. It was like he automatically said no without even really thinking about it. Take him every hour and turn it into a game or sing along out be goofy. Potty parties 
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My 3 1/2 yr old daughter is doing similar things also. I remember a friend of mines daughter doing it around this age as well years ago. Today I caved and gave us both a break. I let her have the diaper for part of the day today and we had a much better day. She is capable of getting it off her self and she did so to poop she only peed in it and wanted to be changed when she did. After super I didn’t put one back on her and she didn’t say a word about it. Every time I ask her to go she blows up at me exasperated refusing to go and says she doesn’t have to. 2 mins or less later pee’s her pants 
🤦. I really think it’s a control thing, it’s because I suggested she goes. If I let her wait she will most always go on her own but at times will have a little pee in her underwear cuz of waiting too long. This attitude I’m experiencing with mine is over everything though not just potty training.
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I used to give my kids pennies to put. A little bank. If they went potty I would get some pennies and the little bank and let them know it was for going potty
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When they get to playing or there doing something they don’t want to stop and go.maybe he doesn’t want to miss anything and he thinks if he takes the time to go to the bathroom he miss something exciting.it could be a variety of things
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Time to make it more interesting. Maybe sit or stand closeby for support. It’s probably becoming tedious for him. He’s realizing this is long term and has a responsibility. That’s a grand realization! 
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Some regression can happen if he was getting rewards and they stopped.
My boy had regression when he was around another child that was in diapers. He just didn’t want to take the break from playing.
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My daughter just did this a few weeks ago (also 3.5) and it was because my 7 yr old told her there was a poo monster or something in the toilet🤦🏻♀️ she’s back to normal using it now it lasted 4 ish days
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Make a jar with treats and stickers and things decorate the jar all cool and call it potty prizes let him pick something each time he goes. Also i noticed a couple people saying maybe there’s a more serious issue with maybe something going on at daycare if he does attend daycare is deff look into that as well!! Just to be safe
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My son got the pee part quicker after getting him a little urinal that hung on the wall he just doesn’t like sitting/squatting to pee. Poop was awhole other issue and it turned out there actually was a medical problem causing IBS
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Could be pooping is hard for him. My step daughter had that issue before we got custody of her. We used to giver her “prune treats” when she went poop to help. And then a sticker chart. But I know if she was doing something fun or was excited she would get distracted and forget to go
Take him anyways even if he says no
Hang in there be patient it’s just a phase friend.
Do theu have there own small potty? It could be a little scarry on a big one. Sounds like they need a little more attention. All kids need to be checked on every 15 min or so. Talk to them and explain what they are doing is unacceptable. If it happens again you will put them back in a diaper like babies. If they use the potty like big boys and girls you will get some j
.
nice underwear that they can pick out. .
Hello…you might try and tell you 3 1/2 year olds when you need to use the bathroom and ask if they need to and they can go first…
Positive reinforcements should work. When he goes potty give him a sticker on a chart and when he gets a certain amount of stickers he gets to pick a prize. I bought dollar store prizes and put them in a bin. Make it exciting.
Potty training can take a lot longer than people think. Once you get the gist, there will be issues that follow. Rest assured that it’s normal to regress. Also, it takes a lot more for boys to get UTIs as their urethra is much longer than girls. I suggest making potty time fun. This sounds like he’s just not into spending the time (he might not want to have to stop what he’s doing, or maybe he injured his penis on the toilet somehow). Throw some Cheerios in the bowl and have him aim at them. Or tell him it’s okay to sit on the toilet and aim down.