I got pregnant with my ex while we were split up. I was still in love, and I’m guessing he was just using me, and I just didn’t see it. Anyways it’s been a long road since then. I’ve had no support from him, and he is immature and isn’t growing up. Yes, we are both young, but there is no excuse. I’ve done everything possible to make sure to provide for this upcoming child. I’ve expressed to him how he isn’t being involved and acts like he doesn’t even care. He turns around and is rude and tells me “f” you and how he’s going to be the father etc. he’s been sleeping with multiple girls right in front of my face. I only have three months left in this pregnancy. And he’s still done nothing. I’m so emotional about it because I never wanted to bring a child into this world like this, but I am against abortion. I feel so sad. He said he didn’t even want to be in the delivery room, and then he changed his mind, but he doesn’t even show up to the appointments or ask how the baby is doing NOTHING. IDK what to do… I want to be civil but am so over his actions/ lack of actions and disrespect. He also thinks I should have to remind him about everything, such as the appointments. I gave him the date, and I feel it should be up to him to figure out how to remind himself. I don’t need to keep on him and “beg.”
He isn’t worth it. Your child doesn’t need to be around negativity.
Is adoption an option if you are unable to raise alone?
He isn’t worth it u can do it on ur own girl
He does not want you, the child or the responsibility. Adoption could be a great option. If not, expect to be a single mom with no help.
He is gonna be a deadbeat dad who sees his kid a few times a year and never pays child support… if you aren’t ready to be a single mom.and raise this baby on your own i would highly suggest adoption.
Sounds like you need to let him go completely. After baby is born, go to court and get a court ordered custody agreement. If he fails to exercise his visitation, then document that. Also document all communication you have with him. It’s going to be a difficult road and it’s not going to be pretty, but this is what you chose. Eventually you may be able to get his rights terminated and then you won’t have to deal with him at all anymore, but that’s not common.
Just do it all on your own, it’ll be hard but so worth it and not having to deal with him. He has no respect for you and will never be the father you want him to be for your child. Just move on.
Can only control your own actions hun, he will only step up if HE wants to. Which it sounds like it’s not looking hopeful, I get you’re young and want to be a family, but it’s not worth sacrificing your happiness and your self respect, if he wants to step up, he can, but you do you and keep getting ready for bubs, there are so many organisations to help mummas just like you, talk to your midwife, and let her know your situation, she will take care of you and babies needs.
I’m against abortion as well and just wanted to throw this out there, Adoption is an amazing option as there are SO MANY couples who would love the opportunity to have a child but can’t. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and questioning whether you can parent your child the way you hoped to be able to, this option may be a complete blessing and answered prayer for yourself as well as another couple.
Girl he knows you’re pregnant if he wants to be a man and do his part he will of not then he wont doenst matter how much you try. It’s not on you it’s him. Things dont always come out as planned and that’s ok. I say forget about him you take care of you amd the baby growing inside of you. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy which is a beautiful experience. Once your baby is born then you can take him to court for child support because whether he wants to be a part of the babies life for not is his choice financially supporting his kid is an obligation and something the kid has a right to.
Move on your child has you you’ll show your baby your all they need x
Disconnect from him. Now. Remove him from the picture. Go after him for support once the baby comes. Stay removed from him. Don’t let your child grow up with him as an example of what a man is.
He’s a Schmuck…raise this child alone…go to family court get sole physical custody…you can do this every mother does what’s best for her child…also do what’s best for you be happy…Good Luck.
You see hes not caring now and he wont care when baby is here
Hes going to mess with your feeling because you do have his child
And sounds like hes still a child shouldn’t have to e reminded about everything if he cared enough he would have remembered at least one or 2 of the appointments
And changing his m in and on and off about being there
Heres my opinion
I am not going through what you are and I wish best come out of your troubles
But I would have him there if this is your first
Or second but I would have him there it’s a scary wonderful day
But it is totally up to you on what goes on from here it’s best you see his rights and wrongs
Good luck
RUN. Run as far and as fast as you can.
Do not let him in that room. Only let people who calm you in. Plain and simple. Giving birth is so hard and having people there who only bring you stress makes everything worse. And honestly if that’s his behavior I wouldn’t put his name on that birth certificate. It only gives him the foot in the door he needs to try and take that baby. He sounds to immature to be allowed any rights over a child. Protect yourself and your baby.
Trust me… when the baby comes u wont give a shit about him. .
- Do not put his name on the birth cert.
- Tell him the appointment dates…if he goes, great. If not, tough shit…you are not his mother, you do not have to remind him.
- Dont rely on him to get anything for the baby…tell him what u need but have money saved for these things just incase.
- Let him f around with other girls…if he wants to be riddled with std’s, that’s his choice.
- If you dont want him in the delivery room, he will not be allowed in. Regardless of whether he is the “father” (sperm doner) or not.
- You can do it on your own. One good parent is 1000x better than a part time dead beat dad !!!
Best of luck hun. Babies are great…its hard. But they are so so so worth it xxx
Dump him. You dont need him. If he talks to you badly think of how he will treat your child
Quit chasing him sweetie! You and your baby will be much happier moving on. Your baby doesn’t need the trauma of a father that doesn’t want to be in their life. You are a mother and as such its up to you to keep that baby safe, mentally and emotionally!
You expecting anything from him will continue to give you disappointment and resentment. You have two options…give the baby up for adoption or step up and be a single mom and make the baby the priority of your life…no guilt intended with adoption by my comment…let him go. You’re still young there’s plenty of time to grow and find love later. For the time being the focus needs to be on you and what you need to do to get right for the baby whatever your choice ends up being
Don’t stress! Let him be a fall down while being the best mama you can be! And when the baby is born take him for support and the half the cost of everything you have provided till that point!
maybe adoption would be the way to go he sounds like a control freak who wants to do nothing for the baby but wants to call himself a father ? ya my stbx husband is that exactly has done nothing for our daughter but wants to fight for custody he’s never done anything for her ever i’m not even talking financially i’m talking everything else that comes with being a parent but i would move FAR away from him i would even go as far as telling him that he wasn’t the father to keep him away you got this love you don’t need him & if you don’t think you can do this alone please let some nice family adopt your child 
best of luck to you beautiful
It is what it is. You can’t change that. But once your baby is born, take his ass to court for child support
You need to take a step back and focus on the baby. If he wants to be involved he will reach out to you if not then dont stress yourself. It will be his loss.
You already got the best part of him now walk away.
Life is full of lessons but only thing important right now is that baby and its up to you to move past all the negative and do for the baby.
Focus on the baby don’t worry about him. It’s super hard to especially when your hormones are all over but believe me it won’t get better you don’t need the stress.
Don’t ever think a baby will KEEP a man that doesn’t want to be kept. He doesn’t want you. Period!
I’d move on. If he wants to be there he will be. But he no doesn’t sound like the type of person you’d want to fight to be in the kids life really.
Move on. I know it’s hard. I have a 26 year old son and my situation was similar to yours. I loved him and wanted him to be a part of the babys life. He really didn’t want to be. It made me so stressed and sick. Fast forward 2 or 3 years and I met someone who loved me and my son and married me and adopted my son as his own. We’ve been married 21 years I have a 4 yr old grandson. Don’t waste your time on this guy. It’s his loss. You get the best part.
Focus on the baby. Whether he rises to the occasion is on him. Don’t stress about it. I know easier said then done but u need to realize ur priority is the baby and baby alone. You got this momma! Enjoy ur pregnancy it goes by way to fast. If he is there great if not so be it. Ur baby has you and you are more than enough for your baby!!!
Forget about him. It’s his loss. Focus on you and the baby and one day a mature man will come in to your life and love the baby like his own.
I will have say to drop him as a lover. Only focus on yourself and your baby. Take parenting classes especially ones about co parenting. If his not with you then you can’t be mad at him for sleeping with other women. You just have to have hope that when the baby comes he can step up and be a good father to the baby.
Good for you for choosing your baby 
once this baby comes this guy wont even matter. Dont let him sign the birth certificate and do what you have to 
why would u trust an idiot with taking proper care of your baby. Especially when he has strange women around all the time. Imagine if he got something and kissed your baby and spread it!
My advice is this: if he is this wishy washy and chidish right now before the birth of your precious child, is that something you really want to expose your baby too?
Currently its mostly just harmimg you and your emotions but if he is allowed to break promises and go back & fourth with this child and you have to witness that then it will hurt you much more than even now.
An unstable, wishy washy “parent” is in no way, shape or form better for your child than one who just is just not present. IMO he needs to grow up or you get him out of your lives atleast until he makes some positive changes.
Stand up straight and walk tall. Accept that he obviously doesn’t want anything to do with the child. Don’t invite him to any more appts (you’re setting yourself up for emotional pain, quit). Just do you and want you need to do for the baby. After the baby is born head down to child support and court for custody papers. Set it up sooner rather than 5 yrs from now!
It’s simple. If he doesn’t attend at least half the appointments, he ain’t going to be in the delivery room. If he’s not helping to get prepared for this child then he can’t use what you got, he wants to take baby out? That’s a flat no until he’s brought a stroller. He wasn’t to have baby for a few hours? Did he buy diapers and bottles for expressed milk? Over night? Got pjs? A cot? Thermometer?
He’s not going to change if he hasn’t yet. Is adopting an option? I’m all for doing whatever you want with your body- no one is to judge- but with only three months left I would look into adoption. Do what you think is best and the best of luck
Step away. I went through the same thing. After baby was born he wanted to give me hell and he’d threaten to take her and would use that as emotional leverage to make me a wreck. The one thing a lawyer told me was to not give the baby the fathers last name if you are not married… I already had though. And if he doesn’t want to be there do not put his name on the birth certificate.
If he really WANTS to be a father he’ll need to learn responsibility and that can start now. Tell him the appt dates and time and CLEARLY state, i will not be reminding you so put it in your phone or whatever you need to do to remember. If he doesn’t show the last message id ever send is “im in labor”. If he doesn’t come to the hospital, i wouldn’t put him on the birth certificate. you are not his mother. He is not yours to baby and hold his hand through life. I would do minimal communication with him and if he doesn’t come for the birth Quit initiating contact bc he clearly doesn’t care. If you cannot afford the baby on your own I would look into adoption. It is a hard decision but sometimes the best one for the babys well being.
You can’t make a man or boy be a father walk away now and take care of your baby! Make him pay support and have visitation if he wants!
Yeah, this guy isn’t helping you AT ALL, and he’s made it clear, so lose him. Surround yourself with people who don’t stress you out, including someone to be with you for labor and delivery. Plan on being a single mom or adopt out because he clearly doesn’t see you or the baby in his future, only wants to use his sperm donor status as leverage to control you. Get his family medical history and be done with him. You’ve got all the strong women on here rooting for you and sharing their collected wisdom, whatever you decide.
If you choose to be a single mom, What to Expect when you’re Expecting is a decent reference, plus the sequel for the first year of baby’s life. Contact the county, women’s center, your local or regional library, ask about Moms groups & support in your area, whatever to see what services are available to you. Start scouting for friends, relatives, church/religious organization people, neighbors who can help support you on raising your child. All but one of my “Aunts” and “Uncles” growing up were friends, not relations. Don’t forget lonely old people in retirement communities who would love to have kids in their lives. Network with people you trust to find safe, helpful people to help you both as you journey through life.
Sending love, light, peace & comfort to you. 
Why are you continuing to interact with him. He has made it clear
stop being civil, apply for ADC and give them his name. Food stamps, WIC the entire lot of it. They will go after him for his responsibilities.
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
Consider this a blessing in disguise. You and your baby don’t need trash hanging around. You will be just fine raising your baby without him if that’s what you choose. Focus on being the best Mom to your baby and if he comes around then okay, if not then that will be okay as well.
Maybe you should consider adoption. There’s so many people that would give their right arm to have a baby.
He won’t do anything for you or baby. Get rid of him now… don’t have him in the delivery room
Stop reaching out. If he wants to know anything he’ll reach out. It’s just causing you heartache/pain when you try and talk to him. He’s not going to do anything he doesn’t want to do so stop wasting your time. Act like you don’t care and it’ll probably piss him off. He knows he doesn’t have to reach out to you because you’re the one to always do it so stop. If he reaches out and wants to know how you and/or baby are great but if not oh well you don’t need the drama or stress. Surrounded yourself with friends and family who care and support you… you don’t need him. Better to get rid of him now rather when baby is here … too toxic. I wouldn’t have him in the delivery room either.
Sounds like you’re on your own, cut him off don’t tell him anything. Don’t add his name to the birth certificate because then he has equal rights and try to use that to threaten you such as I’ll take the baby or just to control you
Just get the papers and be done with it. He doesn’t want the child then make it in divorce papers no parental rights. You have to be mama bear and keep cub safe. The hurt on that childs face when a parent just isn’t giving a care. Trust me it’s hard. Go it alone you are better off.
It’s harder for a man to be there for the baby when you’re pregnant and not together. At this point it’s not his job to be taking care of you. He should still be respectful to you as he is the father of your child, but really until the baby is born there isn’t much he can do. You also don’t have to let him in the delivery room because he is the father. When you’re having the baby it needs to be about you and the baby. And since you aren’t together it’s really none of your business who he sleeps with. If he wants to be a dad when the baby is born let him. Don’t be the one that kept the baby’s dad away if he wants to be there.
Keep him out of yours and babys life until hes sorted his shit out, you will be going through enough when that baby actually arrives for real and u dont need to be babying his dumb ass aswell as figuring out first time motherhood, girl I’m not gonna lie, its fucking hard, and I HAVE my man by my side, so keep that boy child away until he grows up, and tell him exactly that…“you cannot come around me and baby until you have sorted your shit, this is too important of a time in my life for you to be fucking me and MY child around with your immature shit so until you decide you are all in for your kid then stay away cause I will figure this out perfectly fine without you”…stay strong and stick to your guns…that will be your first act of protecting your child from toxicity and danger…
You should’ve thought about this BEFORE you got pregnant with your ex 
I would not even put his name on the birthsertificate 
Just cut him out of your life, dont bother with child support, just let everything that can connect him to your life go.
What did you expect? You got pregnant when you were broken up. Did you think your “accidental” pregnancy would make him magically want to be with you and have a family together. It’s never a good idea to get pregnant by a man who you aren’t in a committed relationship with and who doesn’t greatly desire to have a child with you. You’ve just created a painful situation for all three of you.
Why are you interacting with this person? This is a sperm donor. Having a baby doesn’t mean anything to him. So stop. He’s not going to suddenly figure it out. Why do you want him in your child’s life if you know how he is?? Stop romanticizing this situation. You are going to need to be there for your kid. You can not count on him. Dont involve him. If he was interested or cared or wanted you to be a priority you would be. You are not his gf. You are not his friend. You are the girl who got knocked up. You have to think long term and about you and your child. As crappy as it is. You can’t force him to be different.
Get smart find a good man
Not a loser
There is always adoption
Im so sorry that what should be the happiest time in your life ,turns out like this.Get some money together or ask a Family or friend if you can stay awhile. You might go to a shelter if you dont have a place. You are gonna be so in love with Your Baby that you wont miss this fool at all . You and your baby will have a happy little Family ,and love it . God bless You , please get out . 
I went through something pretty similar to this and choose to be the single mom. I had very supportive family and friends which really helped but I honestly think deciding to just let him be him and be the best mom I could to my daughter was the best decision I ever made. And now 4 years later I found a man who loves me and loves my daughter just like his own. Just stay positive I know its hard in this situation but you can do it babe
Just stop trying to include him. If he wants to know anything he will ask…
Some men aren’t meant to be Dad’s. Sounds like that is what you have now. Being a single Mom is hard but doable for sure. I wouldn’t bother telling him anything honestly. Who he is seeing/sleeping with really should not be a problem cause he is an EX. Your value is much higher than that. I would not list him on birth certificate and go it alone. But I am pretty independent and never relied on a man in my life. Not financially I mean. You can do this and don’t be depressed. You are better than this and he treats you horrid. Let go.
He won,t change i had a brother inlaw like that and done the same thing to his wife and he would bring women home and go to bed with them while his wife sat in the other room
Just leave him be just do you and your baby 
Seriously forget about him! You and bub are better off. Believe me i was a single mum of a 21 month old when i gave birth to my 2nd child at 18. Their sperm donor cheated on me when i was 5 months pregnant with 2nd and his gf brought him to the hospital. It was always just me my son and daughter for the first few years. A tight little circle of love and an unbreakable bond. You got this❤
Why other with him at all if he’s shown you repeatedly he doesn’t care and isn’t interested?
You tolerate too much from him.
Leave him alone and focus on you and the baby.
Stop reaching out. Don’t tell him about anything. If he wants to be there he would put more effort in and support you more.
Be a single mum support yourself and find a good man that is good for your baby as well as good for you.
Realize you are on your own
A lot easier being a single parent
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Thanks.
It sounds like this man wants nothing to do with her or the baby and will only cause pain to them both. As shitty as it is, if i were her that man would not be at the hospital to sign the birth certificate or even know when the babys coming
Oh dear,
Another mixed up life over a bloke.
Poor little baby in the middle.
You dont need a fellow like that in yours or babies life. Get out while you can and be thankful.
Plenty help for single mothers.
I wouldn’t want that creature near me in delivery room.
But i bet you will take no advice and crawl back to him 
I would love for you to message me! I know exactly how you feel. Unfortunately, you can’t change him because he doesn’t see the issue. It’s best to cut ties with him. Your baby and you will be just fine without him! Once your baby gets here you will be so in love you will forget all about him. Your time will be focused on you and your baby!
This could go 2 ways. He could be a dead beat father (looking like it’s going to turn out that way), or once that baby is born, he could wake up and grow some b***s, and actually be a father. (Not holding my breath).
Either way, you have given him a chance to man up, and so far he hasn’t. He says he wants to go to the appointment, text him the details. It is then his responsibility to make sure he is there. Just tell him the once, but don’t expect him to show.
Also, you are not dating, and so far not even friends for the baby’s sake. No need to put yourself in that kind of toxic situation. Try and find a single moms group in your area, or even online. This group is obviously very good. But if you can interact in person, it will help, and you will have support from women who may know exactly what you are going through.
First of all you need to detach your feelings towards this man & focus solely on what your child needs. My first child came about along these lines (she’s 10 now) & be remaining focused on her needs, doing what I could to maintain that. I moved from my support network to where her father resided & took whatever contact he could offer her (it hasn’t been the easiest path & still butt heads at times) but allowing him that & knowing that dad is just as important as mum has grown his responsibility towards his child that for the past 5 yrs we have shared care of her on a week for week basis. And all the positives that come from my daughter having her dad present as much as me in her life, is worth everyday of the struggle it’s been on me.
You know exactly what to do, you just don’t want to do it. Don’t leave it up to him anymore and move forward with your child. It’s not fair to you to go back and forth with his indecisiveness. Decide today he will not be allowed in the delivery room and go straight to court to get full custody with him having visitation. Be the reasonable adult and not go based on your feelings for this guy. He’s treating you and your child like an option because he is being allowed to. You can do this girl. Be strong. Men usually shape up when they have to. Cut all contact. If he is really interested, he knows where you live. Women need to stop letting it be so easy for these men. Let him come find you. If not you continue with your birth plan without him. You may be surprised to find him step up as a dad when he sees you mean business. Just remember, him being a father to your child is separate from him being your man. Don’t combine the two. Good luck!
You can do this on your own You sound amazing and although it will be hard. You sound like you’d be a fantastic mum. It will be worth it having your baby x
He will not be in the babies life either. I say dump him. Don’t keep letting him upset you, or the beautiful child you have. Better to be a single mom, with dead beat dad, then one who makes promises to the child, and doesn’t keep them, then telks the child it’s your fault, because you didn’t remind him to keep the promise. Signed, an adult chikd if a dead beat sperm donor.
So I got pregnant at 18, with my now 12 year old daughter, her "donor"was the same.
He never really stepped up and signed away his rights.
My, now husband, has been an amazing step father to her(i met him when she was 7 so she knows it isn’t her dad, but looks at him like he is)
I longed for that family feel, but I’m so glad he wasn’t in and out of her life either as I think that would have been more detrimental to her.
She knows she’s loved and wanted and that’s what matters.
I wouldn’t beg, because if he doesn’t truly want to be there, it’s going to show in his actions.
I know it’s hard. And I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
Run! The other way. Away from him. There is nothing about his behavior that is loving, kind, supportive, responsible, dedicated, trustworthy.
If you want a family for your baby you need to decide… do I want the family picture on paper…(he is your biological dad only)…
Or in heart (he is your step dad but does everything he can to care for you.)
The same should go for you and your significant other/spouse.
Everything you’re feeling now, your child will feel, but multiplied as it will be a parental figure disregarding him or her.
The sooner you let go of him the better off you will be. You are just stringing yourself along for a world of hate in the future. Your young, you and your child will be just fine if you move on now. It’s tough, I know from personal experience but the longer you hold onto someone who is not really there, the more damaged woman you will become. Good luck. You got this
Stop chasing him. Stop trying to force him. You and your child deserve better. Get on with your life. Soon enough you will have to deal with his immaturity in his interactions with your child. If he walks away, get on your knees and thank all merciful God!
It is not your job to be on top of him for appts. You tell him these are the appts and if he doesn’t show all well. In the future he will regret these things. You should give him a list of items you need for the baby but don’t depend on him to provide it and have a back up plan because sadly if he doesn’t care he won’t provide. He doesn’t need to be in the delivery room if he isn’t going to show you respect. You need calm and peace and support. He can meet the baby after. That is a earned privilege to see you as a women birth his child. Girl whomever you are I went through this and I made a lot of mistakes and now know that little boys who don’t care now never really will and when they do it will be too late. You deserve happiness and respect because your child deserves to see what that looks like and they deserve a happy mom.
I would 100% adopt your baby.
He won’t change. I thought the same thing when I was pregnant with my daughter. Her dad just didn’t care. Now at almost 16, she sees it too
Sorry have go through this. Only thing you can do is legal stuff. Establish paternity when time comes and stay on top of child support and custody.
You can do this yourself. You dont need him especially when he sounds like he doesn’t care. Just worry about you and your precious baby. .
He will NEVER be the man and father you want or need…so heartbreaking for you and I hope it doesn’t take you too long to realize it so you can move on with your life and find a grown man … someone who loves you and your baby … good luck
Well u can wait til you have the baby and see if he does a 360 and becomes a man then. After seeing that precious thing. If not I’d run to the hills. Work hard and get ur own place and raise that baby on your own. You will be happier with out the dead weight of you b/f I’m assuming. I’m sorry but no woman should be treated that way. The verbal abuse has to stop.
I know it hurts cuz u see this picture of how you want things to be. But in reality it’s God awful how he’s treating girl. I know a baby is on its way. So it’s up to you to decide how you want to raise this baby. Good luck sweetie. Life isn’t always peaches and cream. Hardship comes and goes. Such is life. I wish you the best of luck
Get him out of your life and never look back.Leopards Dont Change Their Spots!!!
Get out now. He won’t change. You’ll be fine and will meet someone in time but this guy needs to go
You treat people how to treat you. If you keep letting him do this to you he knows he can and you keep accepting it so he will not change. I say don’t let the door hit him in the butt on his way out! Be sure to put his name as the father if you can and go after child support. Even if you think you don’t need it make him pay what’s fair with a court order. Don’t accept his word that he will pay because he has already proven his word isn’t worth much. If you don’t need the child support put it in savings for emergencies or college for the child.
I am sorry you’re going through this. It shows deep love and great judgement that you want your baby to have an involved and loving Dad. If you don’t want to or can’t raise a baby alone, adoption is always an option. Message me if you want to talk or for more information!
You need to start separating your romantic feelings and hurt from what your child is going to need from you. You can’t make him be a dad or love you the right way. Stop offering information unless he asks. Keep conversations about the baby to just the baby. Get your support system in place. Friends, family. It sucks, but be finished with him for you. At this point he’s the baby’s father and that’s it. Don’t worry about him sleeping with anyone, worry about your child. Live in reality when thinking about the life you are going to give your child. He’s not the guy for you.
I would just dump him. If he us not interested now he never will. If you feelninnuour heart to keep the baby do so. Other wise give it up for,adoption. Don’t punish an innocent baby and abort it. This child is,still part of you. I know people in the same,situation. They kept the baby and never regretted it for one day. Much younger than you. Always,follow your heart
I would not let him in the delivery room if he has no involvement whatsoever now he shouldnt get the prize. He can come visit after the birth. Unless he some how changes and steps up! Have your mom and someone else close to you b there. Trust me you dont want to be stressed out or upset while trying to give birth. It’s now just not about you but your baby as well and labor is hard enough without added stressors.
You definitely dont need to be his secretary… if he shows you no respect or support are you planning on raising the baby yourself?? May I suggest adoption?? Just because that would be the best option for the baby! To have the best life possible! Just saying… coming from an adopted child whose biological mother had a one night stand with the father and was living on the streets… my aunt took her in and set her up with my mom and dad that adopted up at 3 days old
Some married men are just as bad. You have to focus on what you have control of and he is not in that circle. You need to focus on yourself and what you want to do. You have decisions to make like what are you planning to do. Are you going to be the single mom. Are you going to put him in child support (only recommended if he is not supporting and do not use it as a threat). Working on talking to him without expectations. Give facts when needed and have zero expectations. You still have expectations of him and they need to stop. Having a baby together does not make an automatic family. He is clearly telling you he is not with you by his actions. As far as your body, the delivery room, you period, that’s all your control. He has no say. You give him options if you feel like it. As far as seeing the child if you are not living together it’s not when he wants. You set clear guidelines. Example: Zero reason for him to come over past 6/7pm on a weekday and be there past 8pm. Your house your rules. You can be amicable, have a factual conversation and not be shrew. It looks great in court. When possible text conversations as those can be used in court. You can do this. He has already shown you who he is. Stop expecting something different. You got this. You just have to decide what this is going to be.
You have to think about you and your baby. Your child needs you to step up and see that their needs are being taken care of. You cannot force the baby’s father to be active in your lives.
Babygirl. He isn’t going to change. I promise you.