Um you have a 1 year old, and your 10 year old has been acting out for the last year. Hello… theres your sign.
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And this doesn’t sound like adhd. My son has real adhd and the things your saying are just so mild compared to how he acts. I mean you think you have it rough but times that by 500 and welcome to adhd. The.weird jumping thing sounds way more like OCD tendencies.
My son who is currently 16, has been on ADHD medication since he was 6. He has been in behavioral therapy since 4th grade and he is in 11th grade now. In no way does he even remotely show signs of becoming hooked on other drugs because of his current ADHD medication. Sounds to me like you need to invest more one on one time with your daughter. Maybe seek out some therapy for her to help her with all of these things that she is feeling. Sounds like she is craving attention from her parents, but the 2 littles are the main focus. I get y’all are tired when you get home, but when you have a child that’s been the only child for many years add premenstrual hormones to that you’re gonna have a child who struggles to deal with it all. Good luck.
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Im sorry but she needs a butt whooping! She’s being disrespectful! Has NOTHING to do with hormones! Don’t blame it on that! Don’t threaten to punish but do it and stick to it!
Empty her room out and ground her. She how much she cares then.
You say you have her dad both dread her coming home. Thats pretty terrible. Maybe you’re the reason she’s acting out. Put yourself in her shoes. Not once did you mention her feelings. If it’s bad for you as adults imagine how much worse it.is for your 10 year old.daughter. do you think she’s happy living like that especially if her parents don’t even like her around.
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When I read this what caught my eye was this started when she was about 9 years of age. You had a two year old and the baby. She had gone from being the only child to now having to share her parent time with two more. I know having two so young can be hard but maybe you could try spending some one on one time with your daughter. Maybe she just needs reassurance that she is your very special oldest child and how much you love and appreciate her.
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I would get a professional opinion from her pediatrician, and maybe get her mental health tested as well. It is never too early for therapy and as far as medications go…they do have ADHD medications that are not stimulants if you’re worried about substance abuse.
Maybe she’s looking for attention. Kids when they want attention they will try to get it in any way they can good or bad. I would make time and go out with your daughter alone. It must be very hard for you with two other young kids. Best of luck
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They have behavioral health clinics at children’s hospitals I would start there if you can.
You went wrong assuming adhd kids turn to drugs bc they take their meds. Your daughter sounds like she has adhd. Idk what to tell you if you aren’t willing to try to meds.
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The fact her behaviour has changed from her norm, means something has changed for her. Maybe she’s getting picked on at school, doesn’t get on with her teacher? Is getting overwhelmed by the demands that school put on her? Is getting anxious about the upcoming change of going to secondary school? Her hormones could have started to change as she’s coming upto those years.
So so many things could be an option here. It’s possible she could have ADHD and she’s having burn out every month, from holding in all of her energy. I do the same and I’m 30. Try talking to her. And asking her if she is finding anything difficult.
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Does anyone spank their kids anymore? Just me? Jumping wouldn’t warrant a spanking but that disrespectful crap? Oooweee!
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I’d go see a doctor she’s got some issues that need to be dealt with. Also don’t threaten to take stuff away just do it and when she yells at the 3 year old ummm set her straight…
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just because you have a ‘good life’ doesn’t mean that you don’t need therapy. and because you’re on meds dont mean ur gonna get into drugs. its who u are around is how ppl get into drugs.
get her into therapy and stop acting like shes the worse kid in the world cause thats probably a reason shes acting out. do u spend any 1 on 1 time? probably not. take ger out just u n her on sat or sun n have hubby watch other kids. if disrespect continues take everything out of room except bed nd dresser and clothes 
also start at the pediatrician shell guid u in right direction. have her tested for adhd. my 6 yr old is on adhd meds and shes doing better then she was
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She has been the only Child for so long and now she’s going thru puberty her hormones and mood is shifting she just needs some love and attention.
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Sounds like she just wants some attention. I have an almost 10 year old and a 5 year old. When he was younger it was a lot for her to take in because she was used to always being her and I. Try doing stuff 1:1 with her.
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Take away her privileges…and she will learn …she is testing ur boundaries
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She probably getting ready to start her period
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She doesn’t need therapy or medication she needs her parents and you both are spending all your time on the little ones and paying no attention to her. You need to have a balance with every child and spend one on one with her. It makes me sad hearing that you both dread her coming home from school. Did you ever think maybe she is having a hard time at school? Maybe SHE dreads coming home knowing the fact that no one will pay any attention to HER. Wake up you have 3 kids not two small ones. Saying you have to pay attention to the small ones and work full time on is an excuse. You chose to have all 3 kids. Stop ignoring the older kid she needs you the most or SHE will turn to drugs or need therapy eventually bc she didn’t get the loving parents or the attention she needed at the age of 9.
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I think maybe she needs her parents to spend some one on one time with her. Make some special time even to talk with her. I think since it started approximately when you had the new baby maybe sharing her parents with two siblings made her feel a little left out. Maybe the only attention she feels she gets is when she acts out.
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Shes learning the behavior somewhere… her new friends, maybe a teacher, tv show/movie or music… but she’s learning to act this way from somewhere… my oldest was doing this (22) she moved out & now our household is much calmer… thankfully… hope you find the source
Sounds like she has a lot of wound up energy and emotions being held in, probably won’t hurt to have someone for her to talk to so she can freely express how she’s feeling and what’s going on inside that she’s holding onto
Have her tested for Autism! There are so many different levels of Autism. Some Autistic children do the same things. Everyone’s first go to is ADHD. It’s not always that!
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I’m in Mississippi, and down here in the bible belt, we’d say she needs a good ole ass whoopin 
Therapist. But it most likely a lack of attention. When kids need attention, they will do whatever they can to get it sometimes. No matter if it’s good or bad.
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I am in the same exact boat. My son is 10 and daughter is 3 and he basically will throw her stuff, get in her face and yell at her, hit her, and rude every time he speaks to the point where sometimes I leave him in the after school program just a little longer so we can have some peace for just 30 more minutes before we pick him up. I finally got him to talk to me about why he feels it’s okay to act like that and found out he was being bullied at school. I went to the school and told them what he told me about what kids had been doing and soon after he started coming home happier. Said he wasn’t being bullied anymore. Some days he still does those things when they’ve been together the whole day but most of the time they play much better together now. I took away all his electronics and he has to reach certain grades on tests before he gets them each week. I started giving him more attention with homework one on one and that helped a lot too. I also was to the point I was about to take him to be checked for adhd but I also don’t want him on medication. Also on nice days we take them to the park and that helps get a lot of energy out even though we have a play set and trampoline and everything they could possibly want at home, a change of scenery helps sometimes when they’re in a bad mood. Hope you find what works for your family and I hate that you’re feeling this way. I feel like a failure when this happens in my home too.
Them hormones are changing and she can’t control it. I have a 10yr old with similar problems, but not as bad.
It’s called a hormonal daughter, big changes are coming,Hope you figure out how to deal with it, Patience and communicate
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Sounds like this started after the baby was born. I’m sure a lot of it is a cry for attention. Call her pcp, get her into therapy, spend as much one on one time with her as possible (even if she’s just helping you make dinner) and stand your ground with disciplining her behaviors but also reward the positive.
Start tracking when she’s really bad. It could be pms and the start of puberty. Both my girls started having mood changes about ur daughters age. They both got their periods at 11.
Try changing ur approach with her. Try asking her politely if she can do something. Have meaningfull conversations with out harsh words or negitive tone of voice. Often times it’s the tone of voice that can set them off. I learned u get further with my children when I’m at their level and talk rather then tell/ yell. Threatening to take things away some times can only cause them to get more upset. Try praising the good things she does. Seems she was an only child for a long time and now she’s got 2 Little siblings. Make sure she doesn’t feel Ike ur asking her to do too much for them. She may feel like ur giving her to much of their responsibility when it should be the parents. You gotta remember she’s a kid too not a mini parent.
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You really need to start thinking of how your daughter is feeling. She was the only child for years…now all of a sudden there’s two more kids soaking up all of your attention and spare time. How is she to blame with lashing out?!
I would suggest you, your husband and your oldest go to counseling because all three of you NEED it…I have four kids and none of them resent their siblings…because I MAKE SURE I SPEND TIME WITH EACH OF THEM.
I’ve never “dreaded” for my three oldest to come home from school…and quite honestly it breaks my heart that you and your husband feel this way towards her…to which she probably picks up on!! Stop pushing it all onto your kid and start PARENTING EQUALLY to her. She’s not a damn roommate…smh.
I seen you say “threaten” to take things away.
Follow through. Especially phones/screentime/electronics.
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Welcome to puberty. She’s confused w her own feelings. Talk to the kid.
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Just spend time with her will help her so much. Let her know you both love her. Try this and you guys will see a difference.
It’s called being a preteen with hormonal changes happening and she doesn’t know what’s going on so only way to handle it is by lashing out. Also maybe she feels left out cause of the two younger siblings. Look around and see if there’s any therapist and call and see if you can get her in to talk to someone.
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Welcome to puberty and hormones. Also she is feeling left o3ur with 2 younger siblings. Make time with her or on one time at least half an hour every day. Also can be a sign of depression, the last nearly 2 years have barren hell on us and having a baby I the home is even worse on a nominal child that is most likely starting puberty which a doctor can have hormones checked.
Guess again, I have all five.
Sounds like instead of threatening to take things or ground her you actually should. If you threaten things and don’t follow through they learn the threat means nothing
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If there’s nothing wrong with her medically, i think you should ‘punish’ her when she is out of line.
Take away what means the most to her, get her to do house-chores as a punishment…
Hope you come right with this
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Sounds like you should spend some one on one time with her because she’s getting tossed by the wayside because of the younger siblings.
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My daughter has similar issues and around age 10 she got this way. Adhd in children can come out add irritability. Therapy is a great option for all people in my opinion. My daughter has been in therapy since she was 8 to help with school issues anxiety and hormonal changes. Shes learned so many amazing coping skills to help and it’s also allowed her to practice and learn how to stop and think before she reacts most times. My daughter also has repetitive behavior’s every now and then. Its usually when her anxiety is really high but every child is different. Keeping a log of behavior’s and showing her pcp would be a great way to start!!! Good luck!
I’m going through the same thing with my 11yo son and his three yr old brother. Spend more time with her. Make her feel important and when the other kids are bothering her make sure you say something to the younger ones just so her feelings feel valid. Also when her behavior is unacceptable you need to punish her correctly consistency is key.
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Omg!! Just because she is acting out does not mean she needs meds or a doctor. Take everything away from her. She’s acting out because she’s not the baby anymore. I have four. It’s all discipline and sticking to it. Ground her. One of my boys did the same when I had my girls. Discipline is the key. Don’t let her do anything. I stuck with it now he’s a Sgt in the Army. Everyone so quick to say something is wrong when the parents can’t or won’t control their kids.
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First I would say hormones, attention seeking and feeling left out because the littler ones
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Take her on outings and only her.
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That baby is looking for attention! I went through something similar with my oldest daughter. She’s 10, so she’s fairly independent, with that comes a parent thinking the 10 year old doesn’t need as much attention as the younger ones. She was an only child for 7 years. Just because she’s older, doesn’t mean she needs less attention. I suggest a couple of routes. First, set aside time for just her. If you and your spouse have someone who can keep an eye on the younger two, take a couple days a month, once a week or once every other week, and send the two youngest to the sitter and you and dad just spend some time with her. Lunch at McDonalds. A trip to the park. If you don’t have anyone to watch the youngest two, then you and dad take turns spending one on one time with her. Put the two little ones to bed early on Friday night, pop some popcorn and let her pick a movie that her, you and dad watch together. In the mean time, when she is acting up, don’t just yell at her and send her to her room. Address the behavior immediately, give her a second chance with the stipulation that “if you do this again, you will lose your TV/tablet/something she enjoys” and stick to it.
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My daughter just turned 10 but when she got her period her attitude got worse. She won’t try it with me cause I shut it down quick. Our situation is definitely different from yours as I see my daughter roughly 8 days a month. The only way we kinda settled it down was by sitting down with her and having a good conversation about what her attitude does to my feelings.
She wants more attention from you guys!! I have a 9yo, 5yo and 1yo and my 9yo acts the exact same way. After sitting down and talking with him, he expressed he feels he doesn’t get as much attention as the other two. I just explained to him they just require a bit more of our help, since they’re so young and now just go and spend more time with him whenever the opportunity arises. Maybe get a sitter for the younger two and take her out on a daughter parent date. You have to think about it she was alone for all those years and now she has to share with not ONE, but TWO others. Sometime we forget even though they’re growing up they still just want their mom or dad sometimes. Good luck!
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Welcome to hormones. Lol. Can’t control anything with her own body right now. Things hurt that didn’t hurt before. And don’t just threaten to do something. You got actually do it. My oldest just started her period. Poor kid. Once we sat down and I explained what was going on things took a 360. Now there are times I get attitude aboit cleaning something up. But it isnt near as bad.
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I go thru this with my 10 yr old daughter first shes 10 shes going into puberty their body is changing so they have no idea whats going on with their moods and emotions…second i also have a 3 yr old that she does the same things to shes feeling that the babies are getting more attention…i make a day with just her and I she loves to get her nails painted while i get my nails done so we go and do that or just go shopping make it a girls.day
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This sounds like a Therapy moment. She was the only kid for a long time then when the others came she’s not getting the attention she once had. I’d get her some help otherwise the screaming at the 3 yo is going to turn physical. I hope things get better!! 
She’s crying for attention. Remember she is still a child too. Try to do something with just her!
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Yes a doctor visit to discuss your concerns with your primary care physician is in order asap! They can refer you to other beneficial places, like therapy being one I’d strongly suggest.
When the only ways kids receive attention is through negative attention, they will keep repeating negative behaviors. I’d try to make more specific time just for her, talk to her. Ask her why she feels the way she does. Ask her what she needs from you to help her. Kids are a lot more self aware than we give them credit for. Family therapy really helps here.
And the gateway drug is trauma, and unmedicated mental health disorders, NOT treated ones. Please don’t perpetuate this stigma on treating mental health with medication. It’s simply not true.
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Hormones and all the junk they put in foods. Girls start earlier, also removing foods with red 40 dye helps. And even though both parents are busy, put the others to bed and then spend 30 min to an hour playing a card game or talking about anything. Or just go for a walk with her, that’s exercise and one on one.
It could be a number of things. Is she being yelled at or talked to how she’s talking to you and her siblings because she’s either learning it from school or home. She’s probably also jealous and hurting because she isn’t getting as much attention now that most of your attention is on the little ones. I’d stop threatening to take things bc clearly that’s not working. Ask her what’s wrong, ask her what’s going on and why she is so upset. I definitely think a therapist would do nothing but help her. Find the why and help her. Punishing does nothing but make things worse.
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For 1 thing, puberty. But yes she does need to learn to be respectful. It sounds like she’s having big emotions she’s having trouble channeling. Sit down and talk with her, see if she has any ideas on things that might help. If not, try some things yourself. Set aside some time for just her and activities she likes. Off her outlets for her emotions that are healthier. And maybe have a family meeting where you re-establish rules, expectations and consequences.
Follow through on your threats Mama or else you are just a broken record that no one takes seriously. I also second spending more one on one time with her. Show her how being the oldest can be a good thing if the respect and maturity is there as well, but do not allow this to continue or else your other children will feel they can act the same way without repercussions to their actions as well. This is not just a phase! Trust me, I’ve made that mistakes . Don’t feel bad for punishing behaviors that NEED to be punished. Our job is to raise good kids into productive adults, not to be their friends.
She needs some one on one time. She is acting out because she doesn’t know how to tell you she needs more of you. Find time for just her a lunch date a walk in the park and a very long calm talk.
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the first problem is you threaten to take stuff away from her & but I bet you don’t do it!!! Second talk to her Pedi. Dr & ask what they think. And see if she might need to see a therapist. Third, sit your daughter down for a one to one & talk to her, really talk to her. Ask her what is going on? Spend some time alone with her, just you two. If she comes home from school & this is how she is acting, I would think, but I could be wrong, something is going on at school.
Older child syndrome is what I call it. More than likely she feels left out because of the younger siblings. You said you have a one year old and it’s been bad the past year. That should have been your first clue. IMO she wants your attention. Sure you could consult her doctor. Maybe you can get her into some counseling but it just sounds like a jealous attention seeking older child.
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If youve had an issue in the last year and you have a one year old she could definitely feel left out. Make sure to carve out some one on one time with her.
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Hormones? She’s about that age. Just a thought.
You also have to put in consideration that she was an only child for 7 years and then bam she has 2 younger siblings. She feels left out. I’m currently going through this as my daughter was a only child for 5 years and now she has a 5 month old brother. My daughter is jealous and wants 1 on 1 time with Mommy and it doesn’t help matters that her dad doesn’t see her or call her. Tell her Santa is watching her all year around and Santa knows she’s been naughty so if she doesn’t stop she’s not gonna get any presents for Christmas and she will only get coal for Christmas. I’ve been telling my 5 year old that. She’s getting better cuz she knows Santa is watching her. She wants to be on the good list. And with the taking away, just do it and say it’s going in the garbage and the toys will go to kids who are good and deserve them. Stand your ground Momma. Be firm but be nice about it. If your mean she just thinks it’s okay to be mean.
She’s 10. Welcome to the beginning stages of puberty. Buckle up butter cup, it’s a wild ride.
In the meantime, make sure she knows she can talk to you about anything. If something is bothering her that may be causing the behaviors, she needs to trust that she can talk to you. She was an only child for a long time and now she has to share you AND her hormones are starting to have an effect on her moods in ways they never have before. Give her some one on one time with you to help her feel secure.
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Sit some time aside for just her. She’s hitting that confusing time. She needs her mom. She doesn’t need to be told she’s the problem. She needs her mom to help her understand herself. They don’t always know the line or communication is open.
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Karen Seage sounds like it’s normal. 
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Sounds like a cry for help. She has two younger siblings and is probably feeling left out. Instead of meeting her demands with anger and discipline. You need to meet her with love. ask her what she needs from you. Talk to her about how she feels. She needs her parents.
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Sounds like puberty 
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Maybe something is going on with her ?maybe she’s bullied or something else…
Have a day where its just you and ur daughter. Make it a yes day, your not allowed to say no when its something that she chooses to do. Like going to the movies, going out to a nice dinner. She probably wants your attention but ur always working or taking care of the younger ones. I see it a lot with friends that have older and younger kids.
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Yep, that’s 9! My daughter was a nightmare at that age!!! But patience, lots of patience, love, and modeling respect are essential.
She’s just trying to figure out the world and manage the changes in her life.
Therapy has always worked really well for us through different Family changes and developmental stages.
This too shall pass though…
I would maybe take her to go do something, maybe just you and her. Talk. Let her open up. Go eat and get pedicures. Make the day about her. She might be missing that connection.
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Could very well be puberty mom, it’s not uncommon for a child that age to start. But it also could be her seeking attention, I would try setting some time out for just you and her and see if things improve.
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You threaten to take stuff away but do you actually do it. She says she don’t care because she knows you won’t. Follow through
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Lol…her body is going threw changes…if you threaten you must follow threw…shes pushing her boundaries, testing…its what children do.
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Welcome to the tweens here its a constant argument, we all love each other but I have 3 very stubborn kids, when they start an argument they go on and on and on. I always cut it off coz its always non sense thing, later on they are all together. (I have almost 14yo twins, surviving here lol)
Sounds like some things are bothering her and she lacks the ability/skills to communicate what is going on. Add some budding hormones in the mix and boom, frustration and anger overload.
We had a similar situation with my oldest and therapy (both individual and the two of us) helped.
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My almost 9 year old is going through the sameeeeee shit!!!
My daughter dr. said with her attitude and everything changing can be puberty she is going threw!
She is 10 things are changing make sure you keep disciplining her when needed mine is 11 she went through a phase for about 7 months but we also let her know that she can’t get away with it either …stay strong mama❤️
She wants more one on one attention. Might also puberty starting. She needs more understanding from you and dad. Don’t make her feel like she is bad or she will act out worse.
Hormones!! They are dealing with the highs, lows, mood changes, ect., and don’t know how to deal. My daughter is extremely moody, and rude to her siblings. She is going through it now. I tell her to breathe when she gets frustrated, and go to a quiet place to cool down. I’m not saying “It’s hormones, oh well” It is another part of parenting to go through. Try to navigate and find out what works for her. Get her a journal, her own space. Let her have time where her siblings aren’t constantly around her.
My son is 16, and his rush of hormones at that age is NO WHERE as bad as my daughters right now. It’s like a little gremlin took over her body. Hang in there!
Yup she’s about to walk into woman hood…midol, a heating pad, some great facial cleaners, and lots of talks about whats about to happen. My nine year old did the same last year and now she’s getting a visit from Dear aunt flow every month. You have my deepest sympathy! It’s hell!
Mine had Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder or DMDD. She’s 11 and you sound like you just described her to a tee. Mine does crazy things for attention too such as stomping or exclaiming out of nowhere to get all eyes on her, positive or negative. Since she’s been diagnosed and the counselor has taught me different techniques for handling her outbursts, life has improved greatly! I even refer to her as my angel sometimes and pick that I can see her invisible wings, which is a HUGE improvement from the things I used to want to say 
Sounds like needing extra attention. The way she gets it is through negative attention. And she’s “hooked” on the negative attention and how the stimulation makes her feel. Kids will unknowingly seek this stimulation however they can because it makes them feel good. Sadly it’s drives people away rather than giving her what she craves. I would bet the behavior is worse as others try to stay away. It becomes a vicious circle of negative behavior.
The trick is catching her at being “good” and giving her that same attention and stimulation. Some one on one time may be the way to start the positive attention and build from there. It might be simply picking her up from daycare alone while the other parent picks up the younger two. Heart to heart talks about her day, what she expected to do when she gets home (stuff for herself like putting away her backpack, homework, shower, quiet place away to herself til dinner or would she like to help out so you can be together). Then catching her being “good”. The gestures don’t have to be an over the top reaction. But as simple as giving her eye contact, a smile and telling her you liked the way she did something. Add a little hug or touch her hand. That touch reinforces the positive. Catch her eye from across the room and give her that smile, wink, nod of the head to stay connected.
What are somethings that make she special? Is she artist, good at math, athletic, kind to others, etc? Is there any after school activity that she would like to try out? Is there a special friend that she can have a play date with?
It’s easy to get sucked back into the negative again when we’re busy and stressed. Especially around the holidays. Don’t give up. Start again. Every kid is different. But they all just need that unconditional love.
Talk with your pediatrician. Keep in mind this may not be ADHD but a behavior issue that can be addressed without medication. Counciling or a parenting classes can help give you some guidance as well. You’re doing a great job. Best of luck🍀
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“Changes” I have 6 daughters ages 2, 7, 8, 9, 15 and 21, staying firm on discipline and boundaries and bust that ass if need be. My 9 yr old got her mouth thumped the other day for talking to me like I was a piece of shit. And I checked her ass real quick. We also do wall squats, push-up, front back go, sit-ups etc. I’ll make it like my boot camp experience if they wanna act grown like they think they are running things and they get back in line real quick and when they start slipping, boot camp it is again. Good luck. Everyone has their own way of dealing with things momma.
Get her a mentor and counseling it helps so much my son is ADHD with depression an social anxiety ,panic attacks he is on meds but mentors can help so much with focus an how to handle issue ,feelings an give good coping skills .
She’s 10 her body is starting to change she don’t know how to handle her emotions yet. Sounds like Normal 10 year old behavior. She will grow out of it. Just a phase!
In my experience my son acts like this one he’s been spending too much time around a badly behaved kid at school. Once we talk about it and I explain to him about the importance of distancing himself from that specific kid, he goes right back to the amazing kid he is at heart. So maybe try that? And some therapy…and a big butt whoopin if all else fails. Dad may have to get mean to get her straightened back out
It’ll pass when she’s 20 or so 
I’ve raised two of my own daughters and my niece. I only have one son but I’d rather raise 10 boys!! Girls GRRRRRRRRRRRRR 
also be prepared for it because menstruation is right around the corner 
I am going through the same thing with my almost 10
Year old. I did some research and it says it’s pretty normal. Stick to teaching respect and taking privileges away when she is disrespectful. We have also been really laying on the chores to teach her more responsibility
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I have a 12 yr old daughter. She has always been strong, independent and outspoken. Yet still respectful.
But when she started 7th grade in August, something changed. She became extremely mean and mouthy. My husband and I couldn’t figure it out. Punishments, chores etc., nothing mattered. She lost all her spirit and never laughed or smiled anymore.
Then we were blindsided when, at the end of October, she tried to overdose on medication. Mind you she is 12. I took her to the ER. After a hospital stay due to severe depression and suicidal tendencies, she admitted that she has been being bullied at school. She is curvy and has blonde hair. We live in a predominantly Hispanic area. So she is a minority. I had no clue and she felt she couldn’t talk about it.
My point is, talk to him/her. Let them know they are stron, courageous, smart and beautiful. Be there to listen and not judge. Good luck. Parenting is no easy feat.
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Whether we want to admit it or not puberty is happening so much earlier these days than even when I was a kid in the 90s. It could be hormones, although it’s no excuse for terrible behavior. I’m in the same boat kind of. My 7 year old was absolutely perfect until she hit 7 then…well it’s not been easy. It isn’t always terrible either but she just isn’t the same. Follow through with the threats of discipline and also don’t forget to take care of yourselves mentally/physically. We can’t help our children through their formative years if we forget about ourselves in the process. Best of luck 
I hear it ends about age 40.
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She needs something to eat on way home or right away at home or right away …chart it it could be pms…
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You need to get her some behavioral health talk to the school and see how you can go about doing it.
She’s 10 and it’ll all calm down in about 7 to 10 years lol She’s in puberty and has all these hormones that she can’t control yet. She’s probably really close to starting her period, so be ready momma it’s coming. Side note my daughter was the same way and we made it through lol she 20 now and a total angel 
If you think it’s more then talk to her pediatrician and get recommendations for moving forward
This is truly just an age thing I think. I have an 11 year old we have been dealing with new emotions and hormones going nuts. It’s a process she spent the weekend with no phone and yesterday went for a record of standing in time out pressing a dime against the wall with her nose for a grand total of one hour and 15 minutes. Needless to say she didn’t speak a whole lot the rest of the evening and showered and went to bed without incident and did dishes without hesitation. I know this may not work permanently or for everyone. But don’t give up. This too shall pass it’s rough but some kids learn better being taken down to bare minimums in the bedroom too. Bed dresser no door things like that. It’s going to be okay one day at a time
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