Needing advice about being a first time mom

I’ll be having my FIRST baby soon, I’d love to read your best advice when it comes to right before having the baby and after, being a new mom… I have literally every single emotion and it’s a little stressing but I’m doing my best to relax.


Sleep when baby sleeps is a huge one. Don’t worry about doing dishes or something. Rest!


Take everything as it comes. No amount of planning can predict reality. RELAX! TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS and enjoy every moment. Don’t rely on internet advice, seek professional care when concerned. Every single pediatrician EVER would rather deal with your questions and concerns than with something they could’ve helped with sooner. Just trust yourself and the people inside your circle with your trusted professionals and don’t hesitate to get second professional opinions. Hugs Mama! You got this!! Sending love! PS my kids are now 31/25 and the youngest has/had life threatening food allergies and asthma. I also have a 7 year old granddaughter.


Get a crib that turns into a daybed. Have daybed set up against your bed so baby sleeps next to you but in a different bed.

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Follow your momma intuition/gut. There is no perfect way to parent. We all learn as we go. Yes, ask for advice, but remember, what works for one doesn’t always work for another. You got this! There will be good times and hard times, but it’s all worth it. It’s a love like no other. It’s hard, but take it all in and try to enjoy every moment because when they say time flies, it really does. They are only small for a short moment. Congrats momma.

NOTHING is most likely wrong with you or baby when he/she wont stop crying, its okay and normal, put babes down/give to partner take a breather, drink water and try again. When discharged ask for the prescription for pain upon leaving, I regret not getting it the one time I didnt. Post partum adult diapers are so much better than the crapy ones from the hospital and a whole lot more comfy.

What saved my hair during and after labor was keeping my hair in braids! If you’re wanting to breastfeed at 30 weeks start taking miracle moo colostrum! Heat / Cool pack helped pain in your back afterwards if you decide to get a spine blocker and epidural because it will bruise your back! Discuss with your ob or midwife and do research medication they give you during and after labor! It’s okay to say no to medications and refuse a cervix check! It’s okay for your babe not take a paci! What helped me for visitors at the hospital so I wouldn’t feel overwhelmed was grandparents day of delivery and second day was for aunts & uncles & siblings! Check your ages restrictions! Some of my siblings couldn’t come and see baby because they were under 16! Meal Prep and Crock Pot food save you a lot pain and stress when you come home from the hospital! Compression socks! Especially if you do a C-section your feet will swell up!

One thing I learned is your mother instincts will come naturally. Enjoy bonding with your little one because everything else can wait. You will get into a routine and I do recommend napping when baby naps.

I had no trouble with the epidural drugs. If they do it right it doesn’t go in your spinal column, but next to it, and shouldn’t hurt afterwards. That helped a LOT with the pain of labor. Everyone at the hospital/birthing center knows what to do if you forget anything or have complications. You should be in good hands and not have to worry. Technology and understanding has made great strides and no matter what, you and your baby should get expert and excellent care.

As others have said, give yourself grace. Do as much as possible before baby comes. Afterwards take it easy as much as you can. If breastfeeding isn’t working for you or you don’t want to breastfeed, it’s OK. Fed is best.

Your body took 9 months to make a baby, it takes about that to get it back together and some things will never be the same. You are beautiful no matter what. Wait the 6 weeks to have vaginal sex. If you’re not ready by then, it’s OK too. But if it’s been 4 months post partum and you have no libido, see your doctor.

If you’re depressed or paralyzingly overwhelmed after the birth, get screened for post partum depression ASAP. It’s easily fixable and you don’t have to suffer. Streamline and see what you can drop in those hectic early days. Let someone else cook and clean, don’t worry about hair, makeup, nails or dressing up. Eat, sleep, tend to baby, bathe once in a while. Everything else can wait or be handled by others.

Give yourself lots of grace. It’s hard and exhausting and emotional and beautiful. Enjoy it all, it’s only for a short time.

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Get the epidural. Get two if you can. And don’t feel pressure to breastfeed


Relax and bond with your baby. Don’t be so worried about letting other people enjoy your baby until you’re ready

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Do what you think is right don’t follow a book all babies are different love and kiss them when they are awake and let them sleep when they want to and you get some rest when they do .

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Congratulations first off! Make frozen easy meals, make padiscles with a pad and witch hazel then freeze it’ll soothe your bottom if natural birth, if you plan to breastfeed make sure you have delicious nutritious snacks on hand and lots of water, take naps when the baby naps you’ll need it! Join a baby birth month group around your area, and my favorite one is if someone ask you can I help you say yes and have them pick up groceries dishes meal prep because you going through the trauma of birth and hormones changing all you want to do and am damn well loud to is hold and snuggle your baby!!

Whoever offers you whatever it is, a casserole or dinner, a visit to help with baby, or let you have an uninterrupted shower/ bath , for example, always say yes, please, and thanks! Don’t ever say no thank you to any offer. Every thing helps, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it truly.

Trust your instincts. Oh and put chapstick in your hospital bag.

Enjoy each phase because they grow quickly

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Sleep when the baby sleeps housework can wait

Remember baby comes when it’s ready. Your due date isn’t the exact day to expect baby to be here by.

Before baby- Buy a deep freezer. Cook meals & put them in freezer & microwave safe dishes or aluminum pans. Stock up on food, ask your family to help. This way you still have time to eat nice home cooked meals between sleep deprivation, baby & breastfeeding (if you chose to).

If you have a variety of different sized clothes organize them according to size. It will be overwhelming trying to figure out what baby can wear otherwise.


Research circumcision and see what they really do to those babies.

The BEST advice I received - don’t beat yourself up when someone who already has children can calm your child when you can’t. They’re not “better” and your baby doesn’t like them better, they just have more experience.

ALSO - VERY IMPORTANT: allow yourself to accept help. We all think we have to do everything ourselves but in reality, you need to heal.


Your boobies are going to leak! I didn’t know that. One day the milk just starts pouring out.

I had a nurse tell me this quote when I was leaving the hospital and it has always stuck with me “always remember that the days are long but the years are short” i know its not really mom advice but its something i think about every single day especially as my baby is getting older

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It seems crazy now and very easy to start worrying about if you’ll get something wrong.

I promise you the minute that precious bubby is born you’ll feel exhausted, ecstatic, scared, hungry and an overwhelming fear about this gorgeous fragile little soul your holding in your arms but it will all feel really natural pretty much straight away,

There is no rule book or step by step- day by day guide on how to be a mum, you just need to trust yourself and get used to the idea that things can and will go wrong from time to time and that is perfectly ok!

Please don’t subject yourself into mass reading about ‘how to be a mum’ or get to overwhelmed in ‘new mum fb groups/pages… it is your baby your timeline your choices, it can be very easy as a new FTM to get wrapped up with how everyone else does things it can leave you doubting yourself as to wether your doing it right! And please remember everyone is going to have their own opinions on if you did this right or that right or how you got so & so wrong that one time!

Keep calm, don’t let people make you feel low if you do something wrong it’s a learning curve, no rule book, you might have a hiccup but you’ll remember for next time!
And MOST importantly do NOT be afraid to ask for help, there’s far too much negative judgement these days about needing help and it’s horrifying, DO ask for help it doesn’t make you weak or unable, it takes a strong person to ask for help and if the support is there use it, bubbys grow so quick but it’s a very tiring journey to begin with.

Good luck you’ve got this :kissing_heart::kissing_heart:

I loved taking a week or so with no visitors, just my new family (unless they plan to clean, cook/bring you food and watch baby so you can shower or nap)

You know your baby better then anyone.Place your boundaries now and take advice with a grain of salt.

Sleep when they sleep. Having fluctuating hormones after birth will take a toll on you, crying for no reason etc. If this continues though talk to someone. Post Partum depression is real. Jaut be aware.

Relax. Babies can go out in public. They can be touched. It builds up their immune systems. Don’t stay inside. You and your baby need sunshine.

My son was two days old, after leaving hospital after he was born we went straight to Walmart to buy diapers and formula. He slept the whole time we were in there.

My daughter was born august 28. 2008 and we had her out at our local lake on Sept 15 2008. In the water with us.

My oldest daughter was born 10 days before Halloween. We dressed her up and went trick or treating with her half brother.

My middle daughter was born April 30. Easter was the next week end. She went with us to a lot cal Easter egg hunt.

Guess what. They’re all fine.

Also… formula is good. Fed is best. Don’t stress over breastfeeding.

Join your local expecting mothers Facebook groups.

Lower your expectations. There is no perfect way or “right” way. The right ways involve you being sane and the baby being healthy. :blue_heart: