I have a question about child behavior. I have a five-year-old son. He is a loving and very sweet boy. Very outgoing, active, smart, and happy. Lately, starting at the beginning of the year, he has had behavior issues. I know the pandemic has attributed to this (the sudden pull from school ending abruptly, I never returned to work, my husband being laid off then returning to his job, then his job closing for good from covid, school isn’t the same, he’s in a new school for kindergarten). The behavior issues basically all stem down to absolutely no impulse control. He has gotten hurt because of it and has hurt others unintentionally because of it. He is very sweet to his siblings- besides normal sibling fighting. He also has many friends at school and plays well with any kids that we have over for visits or family members. It’s very frustrating behavior because it’s all things that he knows are wrong (writing on things, breaking toys, putting things in his mouth that shouldn’t be). In school, his teachers report that he is very disorganized, needs multiple directions given for the same task, and always has something in his hand and/or mouth. But he is achieving all his goals for kindergarten and is above average for a few things. Has typical struggles like other peers his age. He looks totally clueless when he is reprimanded for what he has done or is doing. He absolutely is not autistic. I’ve had some older moms tell me that he is just a boy and will grow out of it. Others tell me it’s potentially an ADHD thing. At the moment, we literally cannot take our eyes off him for even a minute because he is like a toddler and doing something he shouldn’t be; it seems like. My husband and I feel like failures because he is our pride and joy, we love him unconditionally, and right now, we feel he is so lost. We want to help him, but also help ourselves to be better and parent through this. I’m looking for any suggestions or angles to try and reign in his behavior before it’s unfixable.
It sounds like he’s ADD. That was so my son when he was that age. Try changing his diet, and love and learning techniques.
It seems to me he needs structured activity, such as Boy Scouts, 4H, anything that gives him something to do, activities goals and objectives. He is also picking up on your stress and anxiety and not fully understanding why things have suddenly changed so much. Yes there may be ADD or ADHD but before giving him medications look at the side effects, they are often worse than the problem. Also my brother did much of those same things he was bored, he is super high IQ ended up skipping a grade in the middle of the year, he had to take make up tests for the subjects he “missed” and passed them all 100% for not even being in those classes that should say something.
Sounds like hes regressing from all the stress
They said my son had ADHD or ADD in kindergarten as well. Sounds just like yours super smart, excelled at tests, super sweet, but also broke things accidentally & was always disrupting class. I chose not to do any testing because all of this is what makes him him & he has outgrown most of it. He is 10 now. He also had teacher’s who held him accountable & that was a blessing. He is still loud, but is so smart,& has the biggest heart & I wouldn’t change him for anything.
Sounds sensory the need to put things in the mouth…I know you said you dont think its Autism but have you heard of Pda(Pathological Demand Avoidance) Its a form of Autism but a lot different to the usual traits…Its anxiety based…My Niece has it…She can lash out when her anxiety levels are high which with pda they are natural wired higher than your average person…So little things can set her off…She is doing well at school and appears an average child on the outside but her close family know how much she struggles…Not saying your child has this but just thought its worth a read up on Pda as a few of the things u mentioned rang a bell
I am a teacher and my instinct would be adhd. Speak with the school. Have him evaluated medically and see if the school will put him on an IEP that would allow him a sensory toy or periods of movements during lessons. I find with my first graders that sometimes a brain break every ten minutes is very beneficial in keeping them focused. Also a sensory toy like a squish ball or a sock full of rice works wonders to keep then focused
It definitely sounds like ADHD. He can’t help or control his behavior and just needs a little help. Poor little guy. It’s not his fault. I would take him to have him evaluated by a clinical psychologist for ADHD. Once a diagnosis is made they can refer you to a psychiatrist or therapist for medication options and or behavior modification strategies. Good luck and I’m sure he is a great kid!
I would say ;et him have another year before the pressures of school, some times their timing is not to the establishments timing, I started school when I had just turned 5, had a terrible time, should have waited another year
My son was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 and had all same issues. Just my input not saying he is just how it was for us
He needs evaluated for ADHD or needs to see a child psychologist to see if it’s due to all the major changes.
Not sleeping well. How is his breathing when sleeping? Does he snore? Does he need his tonsils out?
Sounds like ADHD. I have 3 with it and there are so many things you can do to help. My son is the same way but just needed a little help. Some medication and some time and he is doing great!
Sounds familiar adhd schedules and a routine help
Not sure if it’s adhd I’m not an expert but sounds like it has related symptoms although remember anxiety and depression has the same kind of symptoms too, One advise though, i know covid came to mess everyone’s life trust me not only you where affected by this everyone is going thru pretty messed up things one way or another but my one advise is to don’t blame this current situation infront of your children, teach them that whatever happens you have each other and things are going to be better, kids don’t know about this kind of problems and it’s better not to worry them with it, to be honest in some way I feel like he is worrying about what your current situation and what he might hear about this pandemic.
I think maybe some extra time and individual time with him just because school for kids is different interaction isn’t there teachers are probably saying saying stay apart from one another every other sentence and a lot of kids having a hard time with all of this as adults are too but kids don’t understand as we do! Like take an hour and bake cookies with him have him help you make beds help with cleaning clothes and praise him like without his help you would never get all this done read him a book but do everything the same time of day consistenty and stability might help him! Sounds like he’s dealing with alot change and he’s having a hard time taking it all in! So he’ll adapt but just extra attention and love will get him through!
go to your local DCS office; there are programs that can help you
It honestly sounds like ADHD. I was the same way before getting diagnosed, as was my little sister.
Hi. Before you can stop the ‘behaviours’ you must identify their causes, by looking at what happens both before and after each incident. Don’t assume anything. Behaviour is often a form of frustrated communication about something that a child needs help with. Saying there is no good reason for a behaviour, that its just happening, is as incorrect as saying you or I behave in meaningless or pointless ways. Once you know the causes, you can try to work on them. For instance, transition to a new school may cause some stress/anxiety, and a visual routine might help to bring comfort/certainty about what is coming in the day.
There is also a lot of upheaval in your own life at the moment, and this may affect your relationship with your son, which in turn affects his behaviour.
Think for your sake and for trying to help your child through this- you should have him evaluated by a professional who your pediatrician has had success with. He may get through this with time- meds all have side effects and your prescriber whould be able to predict what you should look for if he is given these…
Everyone is so quick to assume the child has psychological issues, pop a pill this will fix everything. Without knowing the family’s situation we really shouldn’t speculate. How are the other children in the house? Is he your youngest? Could he just be looking for attention etc etc. He’s 5, my guess is his first year of school and given how inconsistent this school year is going I’m sure there are other 5 year olds having an issue trying to adjust to a new routine, one that’s in school one minute out of school the next. This year has been absolutely hard for everyone imagine what it’s doing to our children.