Needing advice about this situation

I need some advice. For any other moms who have a child with ADHD, you know that the appointment to have them evaluated is everything! It could mean extra help and support for them! When we went yesterday, the doctor we saw was beyond rude and out of line! Not just to us, but to our son! She basically in a nutshell (within 5 minutes of talking to us and before even hearing our son talk at all) she said it’s our fault that he’s struggling because he’s overweight and needs to eat healthier (he does eat healthy, but she was being judgmental because he’s heavier set) and that he needs to be more independent and cook for himself (including on a hot stove) She even looked at him and said “you need to at least make your own toast. Even a 4 year old can do that”, and that he gets too much screen time (1 hour on school days after school, and 2 hours a day on Saturday and Sunday). She asked him what chores he does and when he told her he cleans his room and picks up his dishes, helps vacuum, helps take out trash and gets the mail, she looked disgusted and asked “why aren’t you doing more?!”. When we told her our other son has ASD because we thought it would be worth noting when they tested our older son, she rolled her eyes and said “Do you believe that?? Who diagnosed it?? do you know how many people tell me their child is autistic and they’re no more autistic than my cat!” When I went to explain to her who diagnosed him and why, she cut me off and rolled her eyes and said “yea whatever.” Again, this was five minutes after meeting her and before her staff even started evaluating my son. Sorry for the novel, but I knew you all would understand. I want to report her, but I can’t find who is above her to be able to do that. What would everyone else do in this situation?

141 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Needing advice about this situation

The clinic administrator is above her. You file a complaint with them or you can file a complaint with the board of medicine. I would report with both.

5 Likes

Report the provider for unprofessional behavior.

1 Like

Time to find a new pediatrician.

2 Likes

Find a new doctor and report her.

Why would you put up with that? Get another doctor.

I’d just see a different doctor.

Aww so sorry you had to go thru that… maybe a different doctor

Find a different doctor. I had to switch just to find out my oldest daughter has adhd.

I’m sorry i would have walked out after t’he being over weight comment…not sure why you stayed for all the abuse that was uncalled for that Doc to be so loose lipped

1 Like

I’d 100% call the patient advocate for where ever you went.

2 Likes

You need a new doctor! You need to report this doctor to a higher power!

Get a new doctor and make an ethics complaint against that one

2 Likes

She definitely needs to be reported!!! ASAP!

2 Likes

Report her and find a different Dr. My older boy was diagnosed ADHD and odd…that was when he was about 8, at 11he was also diagnosed with Asperger’s… we had continuously tried to talk to original Dr about our concerns about him having Asperger’s but he kept dismissing it. It wasn’t until he got into trouble in school that we were able to get the new diagnosis. He’s now going on 17 and has the correct support system in place at home and in school. Each child is different but imo it’s easier to manage behavioral disorders when you know what you are dealing with. Good luck

Ok so first and foremost, I am so sorry you were treated this way. Absolutely disgusting behavior! Secondly, our pediatrician handled my son and his ADHD meds until I felt like she didn’t have a good grasp on it anymore. We then went to Carolina Attn Spec in Charlotte after being referred by a friend. This was the best decision I ever made. This practice is wonderful.
But whatever you do please keep looking and seeking help. Please don’t let this one “doctor” make you feel helpless. Gosh, I am so sorry.

1 Like

Find a different doctor and if u can find a way to report her I would do that too… my oldest son is autistic and my youngest son has adhd and mild bipolar I got lucky with my daughter who is my youngest. Just hearing this story disgusts me with how that doctor was unprofessional and treated u guys.

I had someone who was like this evaluate my son. He was rude and spoke to him for 10 minutes before deciding he didn’t have ASD so I had him re-evaluated by someone who did the proper ADOS-2 test and what do you know? He has ASD. Get him re-evaluated. She sounds like a quack.

Definitely find a new doctor but first I’d make another appointment and have my phone on record in my pocket. Get physical evidence of her acting this way. I hope things get better, I know the struggle. My son is autistic and let me tell you if ANYONE said that to me I’d flip my shit. She’s lucky she wasn’t laid out on the floor.

Report her…all the way up…and get a diff Dr

Wow!! Just horribly wow! Medical board of your state.

Contact the medical group the physician is affiliated with and report her. Also, what kind of Dr? Best kind of doctor for testing adhd (they can also rule out ASD and other disorders) I believe would be a neuropsychologist, however depending on where you live the wait times for appointments are ridiculous. Our appointment was scheduled nearly a year out. It also was a very long appointment, testing was nearly 6 or so hours long.

1 Like

Report her for sure and find another doctor

1 Like

Call the medical board for whatever state you live because all of that is ridiculous. Not sure how old your kid is but my 6 year old isn’t allowed to make any food that needs to be heated.

2 Likes

I would have called her out on her behavior and told her she wasn’t qualified to diagnose a snail I would find a new doctor. Don’t ever take your son back don’t ever allow anyone to disrespect you or your child especially when you’re paying the bill prayers and good luck

1 Like

I would be contacting the state medical board and report her.

I woulda slapped the bitch. And said it’s none of your business what the fuck he does. You’re not his mother. And then switch doctors and report her. I’m sorry, but I’m angry for you. My kid has adhd & she’s overweight but her doctor only suggested to cut out red dye. He didn’t say anything else about it.

Chef of medicine of whatever hospital she works at. If she’s a private practice, it’s just your city/state medical board. Google is your friend for figuring it out

Limit junk food. Artificial dyes are a huge cause in behavior issues.

1 Like

Special Education Compliance State Department of Education.

I am so sorry you went through that. Please please please get a second opinion from another doctor. She sounds disgusting.

Get a different doctor

File a grievance with the Drs office. She needs to be stopped before she causes a crisis for people under her care. Clearly she hates her job and has no compassion. Change Drs immediately.

7 Likes

I would change providers and report her practice.

2 Likes

See someone else. I would contact the medical board & report her sorry ass. Your son is doing Great. I’d be damned if I let some bitch make him feel bad about himself.

Report her to the medical board. Include name, group she is with, address and phone number. They will stop her. Good luck.

3 Likes

Report her and find another doctor. My son has adhd and getting him diagnosed really helped all around even with school.

2 Likes

I would have walked out!! My mouth would not have been quiet. My son has Adhd and he was evaluated by the school. My family dr was aware of my concerns before teachers saw anything.

1 Like

You definitely need a new doctor. My son’s doctor for his ASD retired and we had to see a PA. Ryan had made impressive progress in the first 6 months of his early intervention. Our appointment was the day before his 3rd birthday and the PA made a comment that we did not need to worry about planning for college. That Ryan would most likely end up in a group home once he became an adult. I lost the ability to be polite and calm. My child wasn’t quite three years old and this man had already decided his future.
A complaint was filed. My son continues to make amazing progress. He is almost 16 and learning to drive. Our goal is to have him licensed by his 18th birthday. He is an honor roll student in the 10th grade. He has two best friends. He does his own laundry and is learning to cook.
While I agree that a four year college may be a bit much for him, at least without a good support system. But distance learning really appealed to him. He plans to attend college online. He hasn’t chosen a field of study, but he is taking elective classes to find something that appeals to him.
You are your child’s advocate. If something isn’t working for him, ditch it and find something that does work.
It sound like your doctor and our PA are in the wrong field. They obviously don’t know what they are talking about.

2 Likes

I would definitely get a different doctor.

I had a similar situation with a pediatric endocrinologist at a prominent hospital in maryland. I found out who the head of pediatric endocrinology was and wrote them a long email detailing our experience, which was borderline abusive toward my son.
They did right back and apologize and offered to see my son personally, but we transferred his care to Johns Hopkins instead. Have no idea if she was ever professionally disciplined, but I felt better to know that someone knew what was going on.

1 Like

The school and myself worked together with our boy’s then went to docs with a letter from school with our concerns got a referral to go to peds and he was absolutely awesome with our 2 boy’s and still is we’ve been so lucky with whom we deal with

1 Like

Straight to the medical board

7 Likes

I’d start by reporting her!

3 Likes

You honestly just call up where you went and ask how you make a complaint for your treatment you and your family revived yesterday from the doctor. They legally have to give it to you. Also, I would be asking them to be refunding your money or having them give you another appointment with another doctor at their expense.

2 Likes

I say get a new Dr asap that is beyond unprofessional.

I would go to someone else and report her, no good doctor would say those things

1 Like

If she is an MD, you can report her to the board of licensing in your state. If she works for a hospital, University, or institution, you can also report her to them.
I would also go on yelp, health grades, and any other online evaluation and referral resource and tell your story there.
Oh, make sure to tell your insurance company and whomever referred you to her too!

4 Likes

I’d go to website and report it there or ask who runs the staff…someone mentioned the medical bord so maybe there…
As far as the adhd my son has that with his ASD and I asked if he could take a low dose (1mg) of melatonin sometime throughout the day and the doc said sure it couldnt hurt. This helped us so much bring him down to a normal functioning level. This was not an every day use but something that we gave on those days where he was over the top. He had even started to notice himself when he needed it because he was so over the top and started telling them he might need to go take his med that moment.

Call the hospitals h.r. and report her and seek another doctor. I had my pediatrician do that to my oldest child 10 years ago I’ve never been quicker in my life reporting somebody for degrading me and my child. He doesn’t even have adhd. I can only imagine how you felt leaving that room

1 Like

Also I’m told video games are meditation for kids where I live. It’s really a matter of personal opinion. If your child acts out more with to much screen time then adjust. Where I live all of my kids school even in elementary is on a computer so being proficient with electronics is a must these days. I personally have no negative problems with my son using screen time. He goes to bed fine, gets up fine, doesn’t affect his attitude so it’s his reward system especially during winter months. However during summer I give exceptionally less screen time and have the kids out and about in the sun. To be fair I live in WA so we don’t get much sun lol. You really have to set your limits according to your child and their reactions. At the end of the day you really do know what’s best as the parent. Having an ADHD child is very very tiring. So make sure you find you time as well :mending_heart:

Sometimes the truth hurts they are supposed to help us

4 Likes

report her to the medical board. find a new Dr. that is beyond out of line and seriously inappropriate. my 8 yr old is a BIG boy, has add, add, odd. never once has his weight been mentioned other than being worried his meds would cause heart issues due to his size. all they do is tests once a year to make sure there’s no issues… seriously tho. report the bitch.

Medical board! Then find who’s above her and report her to them! If nothings done bc honestly she should be fired! Threaten to go public, they don’t want that! Report her to every single person you can and please make sure that you know she was reprimanded some kind of way! Go to social media and tell your story and say her name, I’m sure your not the only family she’s done this to!! She’s lucky it was mint me bc she would end up needing medical attention herself! If you have another appt with her record it so you also have proof!

2 Likes

Ooooo weee , I would set another appointment with her , I would show up with out my son and tell her point for point how I was offended and how I felt she was rude to my son Her Patient , I would tell her how I planed to proceed in doing my part in seeing she had to answer for her poor choices and then say good day and walk out .
I would also of course get a different doctor.

That is appalling to be treated like that from a doctor.

4 Likes

That’s bull! Report her to the medical board and write a letter of complaint to whatever practice she is working for. Many practices do not want doctors who treat patients this way and she will at least be reprimanded or maybe more depending on how serious they feel it is. I’ve dealt with doctors with gruff bedside manner but I did have one extremely rude doctor that told me that I was too young to be having these issues and she would not approve the procedure my other doctor recommended (she was the one that would have to do this not my doctor) and news flash I lived in excruciating pain for years and I just had the procedure done 2 weeks ago and I feel better than I have in a decade!

Idk how you even managed to sit through the appointment. I would have told her off and then went to her supervisor right then. I would never allow anyone to talk shit about my child especially in front of them.

I’d report her, that’s ridiculous.

2 Likes

You have the right to file an appeal on their decision, and you defiantly can report the dr to the chief of the staff of the place where this took plave

2 Likes

Report her to your insurance that she was shadey and bad service .

2 Likes

Go get another doctor. My daughter was diagnosed with adhd at a young age no meds until she was a freshman in high school. I should have medicated her sooner.

Call the medical board, get her name and she should have her license displayed in her office, get a license number off of it.

1 Like

I would’ve worked off the wall on her!! How dare her. Definitely report.

2 Likes

Report her to the state board, then find another doctor!

4 Likes

Report her to the State Medical Board. Also whoever is Chief of Staff, report to that person. Get another evaluation done on your son. More like you should have been seeing an Physiologist for an evaluation. That’s what I done with my son.

4 Likes

Honestly if what you’re saying is true (not saying you’re not)I would have walked out, I would have asked for a different dr.

5 Likes

Definitely report her!!

2 Likes

There’s always a second opinion…shes obviously a miserable old bat.

1 Like

Screen time hypes kids up and makes it difficult to relax and get quality sleep. With all the computer work in school he doesnt need screen time during the week and on the weekend his screen time should end at least 2-3hrs before bedtime.

1 Like

I’d be pissed. Those evaluation appts are no joke to get. It’s been a mission getting my 8 year old his diagnosis and he had been in early Intervention from 18m to 3. 2 years special Ed preschool. Assesed at 4 and was “at risk”. Our insurance didn’t cover the evaluation at the childrens hospital so we didn’t go back. Ped wanted numerous teacher/parents assessment forms. Finally got him into a children’s Psychiatrist to get his diagnosis and had to wait 6 months for that appt. And it’s known that people with adhd tend to be overweight. Lack of impulse control to limit and I guess something about about being low on dopamine and food raises it. Also ready since they are low on that they don’t feel full when they should

1 Like

Wow I have no words for this. I’d definitely be complaining about her and her attitude. She should not be near anyone let alone children.

2 Likes

Find another Dr. And right away!!

2 Likes

The way the doctor gave the information and treated the family is absolutely wrong. However she was not wrong about limiting certain foods and/or omitting others all together. I would suggest getting a new doctor and joining a FB group for parents of adhd children to learn techniques for handling adhd outside of medication.

2 Likes

I would have smacked the shit out of her and then I would have walked out and found a different Dr

I would also report her

you report her and talk to Management and find another doctor do your research as well

I would be so mad I would have told her to her face!

4 Likes

Don’t just dismiss this escalate how you felt through the patient hotline. This will continue until we express how we feel.

1 Like

report her to the collage of physicians or whoever you report doctors to in your state/country. When my son was getting his evaluation the doctor told me he was FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) :joy: I never drank a drop during pregnancy or afterwards, such bullshit how these “evaluators” think they know everything :roll_eyes: makes me angry how they treat people and families who are looking for diagnoses and support from the medical professionals.

So very sorry you and your son were treated that way. DEFINITELY report her and find another Dr. I had something similar happen to my oldest. The first thing I was asked is if I had read Dr. Benjamin Spock’s book on how to raise children and when I responded “No” I was then torn apart as a parent. I was told i should have NEVER had a child without reading that book and my child was going to grow up to be a loser and a criminal. He was 5 at the time and in Kindergarten. I knew there was something going on with him and was determined to get him help. I found a wonderful Dr who diagnosed him ADHD, and by the time he was 8 OCD, bipolar and manic depression. I was determined to help my child through this. I can say he is now 36 years old and has a very good job. He no longer takes medication and he is doing wonderful. He does his own redirection when he feels he is feeling out of sorts. Prayers for you and your sweet boy. I pray you find a good Dr.

1 Like

Can you see someone else? If you have a medical board or something you could complain as well. Her bad day isn’t your problem. If she doesn’t deal with people well maybe she should do research only. As you said doctors are access points to needed services and if this lady had some stick up her ass it’s not fair for anyone.

That’s absolutely aweful and beyond unprofessional. If it’s a private practice leave a review online. If it’s a medical group definitely call corporate. And absolutely find a new doctor, preferably one connected to a childrens hospital.

1 Like

The medical advisory board for your state will be the appropriate entity to contact. Keep as much detail as you can. Her medical license number is public record - if you have her full name, you can get all the info you need to file a formal complaint.

5 Likes

Call the office manager and look for another place to have your child evaluated. You can also call the department of health and report this

2 Likes

That is outrageous. That woman has mental issues that should be addressed.

1 Like

Definitely get a second opinion.

Ugh I wish doctors like this were reported to themselves, in the moment. “Look woman, you’re a doctor doesn’t that mean you are a professional? How about act like one!”
They say/act how they like because no one checks their a$$.

Never in my life have I heard of something so awful. That dr needs to be careful because they might run into a momma like me and I’d cause a scene at the mf office. I’m a Karen ass mom and EVERYONE there would have known what she had said and did and I would have not left until I spoke to the highest person available at the time, also I would have let her know I will make good on my threat of reporting her to the state board! You should google whatever state you’re In followed by board of professional registration and report her ass.

You can find her name online just google the hospital you went to and if you know bits and pieces of her name you can add that to your google search and it’ll pull her right up. Get her license number and report her. If not I’d call up there and ask to speak to the ceo and ask if they knew she handled patients this way and let them know you already reported her to the board.

Absolutely make sure your visit with her is reported! I would start with clinic administration, ask them where to file a complaint. If you are uncertain, ask for omnibudsman, if they are not the right people to address your concerns, I’m confident they will know where to direct you. Please follow through with a formal complaint. It’s important her behavior to be DOCUMENTED! I had a very negative experience from a doctor providing care for my son( yrs ago) i reported him to hospital administration, but was never asked to sign anything, makes me wonder what/if anything happened with that concern/ complaint… You are your sons best advocate! Don’t let that Dr get away with that horrible behavior!

Wow that’s terrible :disappointed: I would be looking for a new pediatrician asap and going to the medical board about her

FIRE HER and find a different dr/pediatrician asap. Call the office and let the front desk know youd like to make a formal complaint to whom ever is above this dr

What a bloody cow … actually sorry insulting poor cow now…but really there should be a medical board you can report this woman to …she is horrible , judgemental , no compassion , just how can she be a doctor of any kind …you will find the right person to evaluate your baby …and good advice given on thread with regards to how you can report this bucket of nastiness…I am very sorry you went through this experience , all will be well at the end of the day…sending you strength and prayers :heart::hugs:

Oh i would 100% report her, if you cant find anyone above her go to the medical board…,what a horrid dr, im sorry your son had to hear that, go back to your dr and ask for a referral to a different doctor. How rude!!

File a complaint and find a new place. Good luck!

Report her to the doctors surgery its disgusting how she treated you and your child what you do at home is none of her buisness she should of been asking things like how does he concentrate and sleep ect what a rude cow I would ask to see someone else but def report this to the manager at the surgerie

5 minutes sounds like eternity in hell with such a human. Find another doctor and make sure to report that woman.

I wonder how many people she’s destroyed with such tongue… That tongue needs to be tamed asap

1 Like

Insane, I would not be able to tolerate that…