Needing advice about what I do about my daughters friend

Honestly you can’t do anything about it but still being there for her , because of the dynamics at her house talking to her parents might be not a good idea because the problem with them can get worse ( in a different scenario I will tell you to tell to her parents) just be there for her and just talk to her about it, talk about the consequences of having sex , like pregnancy, stds transmission etc.

The main word that you stated here was ( secret ) so keep it to yourself .

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I would just sit down and have a talk with her about being safe. I wouldn’t talk to her family about it if it’s not a good situation.

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Treat her like your own daughter! Be there for her, talk to her about safe sex and bc. Keep her secret and just be there for her.

If you betray that baby’s trust, she’ll never open up to you again. Do just that…keep her secret. Be her safe place.

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Keep her safe. Be her adult. Do NOT break that trust. She needs you if you can accept the role.

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I would absolutely talk to her about healthy behaviors/relationships/self worth, help her find a teen clinic to get birth control or convince her to talk to her Dr, and keep the secret being that her home life isn’t great and she truly trusts you

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Definitely keep her secret. Just be there to guide her the best you can.:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I believe she will let you talk to her as a mother figure, so I say give her a little motherly advice on doing the deed with any men. Hopefully she’s not pregnant , but maybe tell her to focus on having her best life and staying focus on school and just being friends with any guys for now and no sexual activity. She might need to get a pap smear and start test and talk with her mother about doing this.

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be very grateful that this young girl trusts you, Since she talks to you, talk back to her, Tell her the consequences if she does get pregnant, just how will her family act towards her? Don’t tell her what not to do, just give her good sound advice on what could happen, Be there for her. And DO NOT say anything to her family.

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You need to have a talk with her mom. Sounds like she is better off with you full time - THAT is what I meant with my first comment

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You already are her “safe place”. She has no where to go but your home to escape her home life. She has entrusted you with a secret as a child would her mother. Embrace her gift of love and trust. Teach her as you would your own because emotionally she is yours as far as she is concerned. Keep her secret and her security home. To deny her would push her over the edge. Pray about it and teach her to do the same. Pray for guidance for yourself as well. God bless.

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Tell her you are proud of her for confiding in you . However , you could explain to her about ways to boost her confidence and how to handle herself with boys , so she does’nt end up sleeping around to try and make herself feel good . No , it’s not your job but she came to you , a safe adult . It’s obvious telling her mother would make her life unbearable . She needs help now to ensure she stays on the right path . If you don’t feel comfortable , can you reach out to the guidance counsellor at her school ?

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“Thank you for telling me. Are there any questions you have or can I give you some advice?” Then go on with the safe sex talk and maybe search planned parenthood around you to show her options for birth control and further education.

Make sure you’re talking to your daughter too because if they’re friends then she may need the info too.

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It’s history, so love, support and educate her on self respect and learning to say no. Beyond that, explaining how important birth control is and that asking her mother for permission to start might be wise.

Do what you can to protect her, without ruining her trust. When I got pregnant as a child the person I trusted to tell told everyone, and not only did that make my life worse, it destroyed any trust I had with that person

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She just looking for love and some attention for someone to show her they really … hear her out let her know you love her … give her a hug and a kiss let her know your there for her … that alone goes a long way.

Treat her as your daughter. Dont go tell her family. Talk to her abt safe sex etc.

Be her safe place, clearly needs you!

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You are already her safe space!! Take her to get on BC, talk to her & keep her secret unless it hurming her.

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Talk to her first about birth control and how to prevent pregnancy, then talk about talking to her parents they should know at some point. In most states since he is 3 years older it is considered statutory rape, charges can be pressed.

I think its pretty shitty that she put her trust in you and here you are asking what to do with it. If you are her safe space then be that and keep your mouth shut. If you want to talk to her about safety then that’s absolutely great but you dont go betray her.

Definitely don’t ruin the trust she has for you. If the guy broke it off with her, what’s the point of telling her parents to begin with?

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12 years old ? Shes gonna do it again with next guy bcuz she craves love & attention. Next she will pregnant. U already know what needs to be done my friend

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Keep her safe
Don’t brake her trust
She opened up to u
Talk with her and be there for her

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She confided in you like u was her mother, open up and talk to her like she’s your daughter.

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Get her on birth control…and bring her back to being a 12 yr old…take them skating or riding bikes, maybe school activities like pep squad or volleyball…soft ball…get the girls active with other girls thier age…and maybe they will concentrate on these things…tell her you believe in her future and ask her to promise to stay away from the boys untill at least high school…good luck

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I was 17 and my neighbor was 12.she was active and trusted me but refused to tepl het mom or dad… i tried to help her with confidence and good choices. I didnt rat. I did say bc would be good but needs parents permission and offered support… i also offered unlimited comdoms… it was a loose loose. She to this day is not prego not std that i know of and moved to the country to make better choices.

Don’t tell her parents if you think it’ll worsen her situation. Teach her to respect her body and to learn from her experience. Tell her just because she had sex with this boy doesn’t mean she can’t be worthy without him. She doesn’t have to give herself to everyone that wants to be her boyfriend. Tough situation :pray:t4:

Just be there for her. Guide her like you would your daughter.

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Be there for her be the mum she’s currently not got

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I would be taking her to planed parenthood and getting her on birth control before she makes it worse on herself

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I would definitely ask her if they used a condom

Just be there for her.

I’ve taken my cousins girlfriends to get birth control before.

I’m not sure what state she lives in but most health clinics provide birth control at any age for girls and boys. You don’t need a parents permission to obtain it and if you get her to one of these places, you have only provided a ride. They give you the pills right there so no prescription is needed. It’s something to check out in your area. It’s usually provided by Social services and is free.

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Honestly if you wanted to and she’s okay with it, see about becoming her legal guardian. I know at the age of 13(possibly 12 but also possibly older) the child can decide who they want to live with. But take it from someone who begged for someone to take her and help. DO NOT betray her trust. She obviously doesn’t have a good home life and needs help

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Stay her safe place and be there for her. Just tall to her one on one just like if your daughter went thru this and tell her your concerns and to stay safe amd to be smart when it come to boys from here on out. This is a life lesson that will impact her life

Give her all the love, care, and compassion that you would give to your own daughter. She needs an adult to feel safe with and apparently she chose you. Keep her secret safe with you but guide this young lady. She needs you right now

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Give her free condoms, you can get from most health depts at least

Make sure she knows what she is actually doing and the consequences. Educate her gently and tell her that you feel special or honored that she can trust you. Potentially look into getting her condoms or some sort of birth control if she’s willing. Sometimes education and trust can go such a long way.

Just be there for her like you are for your daughter.
Let her know that your house is a safe space but there boundaries (don’t say rules).
Explain them to her but don’t force them down her throat.
Say like you’re having a general conversation with both girls.
Tell them peer pressure is not on, their bodies their choice bit make sure they know of any consequences.

Also see if you can get her checked for STIs