I wondered if I could get some advice from other mama’s with neurodivergent babies. My oldest who will be 9 February 4th has been struggling the entire time he’s been in school. He’s always had the BIGGEST heart! What gets him in trouble, is his ability to follow directions, sit still, talking when he’s not supposed to, etc. He had an evaluation last year for ADHD per the teachers request. The doctor we saw was so rude and not only put my son down the entire time we were at this appointment, but also told us he had all of the markers for ADHD, but she wasn’t going to add it to his chart because she just thought his teacher wanted him to be medicated to make her job easier and that she wanted to work on his school anxiety first and then she would add it to his chart. Fast forward to this year (3rd grade) and the anxiety is gone (way nicer teacher and bully is in a different class) but he’s still struggling immensely with all of the above mentioned things. His teacher and I did a Connor assessment and he scored high on probability for ADHD. Now the problem is, is that the specialist who saw him originally can’t get his insurance to cover another assessment and that’s the only way she she can add it to his file (she never told us that would be an issue until now) and his primary just keeps pushing counseling. We’ve tried that through his school and a private office. It hasn’t helped. What can we do?? We don’t want medication, we just want him to be accommodated at school in areas that he struggles. I should also mention, we cut down on screen time by like 80 percent at home and have done our best to feed him healthy and get him to bed on time. Thank you for any advice you might have!
Oh this one’s for me!
My son is 6 and was just diagnosed. ADHD and anxiety go hand in hand. I did not want my son medicated either, but our alternative was he fails first grade. 
I’m a special Ed teacher so I picked up on it early. I think you need a new pedi. Part of an adhd diagnosis is they’re classified before the age of 7 I believe. So what she’s saying doesn’t make any sense. My son is currently medicated after me trying everything else. Eliminating red dye 40. Then eliminating all dyes. Eliminating gummies from his diet. Virtually no screen time. I did everything Drove myself nuts. He still was failing. Then I took him to the pedi and was a mess from driving myself nuts and we did Vanderbilt forms. He scored high for adhd. And had anxiety where I got a crash course on it. We reluctantly put him on meds. And I cannot even tell you how much better he is. He actually is able to learn in a classroom now. On top of the adhd diagnosis our pedi also wrote up a 504 plan for him which accommodates him in class. If I were you I would write a letter to the Child Study Team in your sons school saying you want him evaluated. Communicate with them. They’re your biggest ally in all this. They legally have to have a meeting with you to determine if they need to evaluate him if he needs it. However, they do NOT have to service him if his issues are NOT impeding his learning. That was big for us and why when I picked up on it (when he was in K) they couldnt prove he was having his learning affected because kinders a distractable environment. Feel free to message me if you need any help.
Take it from experience, we didn’t want med either. After trials of different med we found one that she likes and she still her sweet little self. she only has to take it for school, she ask for it on weekends if somethings happening. We went through a Nerologist for her ADHD from Boston Children’s. She also has a full IEP in school now she is in 2nd grade
So then you need to request a 504 from the school. It will provide accommodations but you won’t medicate him. He won’t have an iep either. The other option is to request an iep evaluation and they will give him an individualized education plan with goals and other options. It’s a legal document so teachers have to follow it.
Kids are kids
Don’t let the school dictate his life or future with Labels and Pills that are just legal speed and causing an addiction later. Way too many teachers try to make their life easier by saying your child needs meds.
Well if you don’t want him medicated then counseling and/or therapy would work. My son also has adhd but his anger was always an issu even when he was infant I got him into something similar to behavior therapy where I’m at it’s called Spurwink it’s a program I didn’t know they had a worker in each school in my district. My son meets once a week at school and has learned techniques to help him. Now trying to get him to sit still an stop talking in school and getting angry when he loses a game in gym is what I’m currently working on
Talk to the school about getting an IEP. They can help him with social skills and cues. Find what will help him focus. I had it as a kid but my parents didn’t play. I was a straight A student, but I had to find ways to help me focus in class and at home. With homework/tests (anything that required focus) I would listen to music or laying on the floor instead of sitting at a table. Call your insurance and see if you can them to cover another assessment.
Request for an evaluation from the Special Education Dept. Your child may qualify for a 504 or an IEP depending on what educational findings they see. The school will not be medically diagnosing your child though. You will still need to go through the testing again. Also I strongly suggest using a different doctor for the diagnosis.
Cutting screen time isn’t always a good thing for ND kids. It can help keep them regulated. Also the doctor is there for you and your child. Demand a doctor to refer you to someone who can evaluate and diagnose him. You also have the right to refuse medication. In school supply him with fidgets, a wiggly seat or a wiggly foot cushion to help him get movement and focus on class. Once you get a diagnosis get him an IEP or a 504 so his needs can be met. I also recommend you follow the page Autism Inclusivity it’s for all ND kids and can really help you shine some light on what could be going on with your kiddo.