Needing advice on how to handle my manager

I need some advice on how to deal with my manager. I started working again after years of being a stay at home, mom. In the beginning, I absolutely loved the job! We got a new manager a few months back, and he is making it incredibly hard to enjoy work. He non stops talks about himself. If I am speaking with a co-worker, he will come over and just start talking about himself. I have never met someone who thought so highly of himself. I try my hardest just to do my work. He seems to get angry if I don’t pay attention to his stories. He will repeatedly ask me why I don’t listen to him (talk about himself) I tell him I am busy and staying focused on my job. He doesn’t seem to get the hint I am not interested in the small talk. He just makes me feel very uncomfortable. I feel like he constantly has to be near me and follows me around. It’s incredibly hard to avoid him. It has become very draining for me. I don’t want to quit the job because I do love what I do. I don’t know how to deal with this manager. Any advice on how to deal with this? Thank you

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Write a letter to HR or higher ups but don’t put your name on it.

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Tell him straight up how you feel … and if he fires you or takes any other actions go to the higher up . People need to stop being afraid to protect themselves against people boss or not . If you are uncomfortable you have a RIGHT to voice that !.

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Just be polite and civil. It’s work. You aren’t ever going to work someplace where you adore everyone you work with or for. Lots of different egos and personalities! If he crosses the line into any kind of sexual harassment or anything else, then it’s a different story. He’s your new manager so treat him with respect and listen even if you aren’t interested! He probably feels awkward also. After all… He’s the “new kid in class”!

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He is new and trying to impress with these stories about himself. Give attention only a few times to his stories, then start saying you need to get on with your work. If it persists, speak CONFIDENTIALLY with his supervisor or with HR.

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Is there an HR or Union? Following you around is harassment or contact EEOC.

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Sent him an embarrassing anonymous letter. About how self centered, uninteresting, annoying he is.

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I would send him a very professional email directly telling him you wanted him to respect your wish for a professional enivornment in the work place and address any potential issues y’all can overcome to work together. I had to do this to a new manager and we were able to come to an understanding. Good luck.

I would go to HR. It could be sexual harrassment.

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Speak to his manager!!

I’m sure he has a manager. And if he’s like a store manager then report him to H.R. or ask for a district manager’s number.

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Sounds like he could be making it a hostile work environment. If it gets too bad, you can request a meeting with his supervisor or your HR dept. to voice your discomfort.

At first, every time he talks, stop working. Completely. Look him in the eyes and give him ur undivided attention. Even if u hate it. Eventually he will notice that no work is getting done by u and let u get back to work. If he asks u why u can’t work and listen, tell him u can’t do both things at the same time because u need to give ur undivided attention to ur job. He sounds very needy and unprofessional. U are not his sounding board. He is ur manager, not ur therapy client. If this advice does not work, report him to H.R. and tell them u would like to have it documented what is happening and u would appreciate them keeping it quiet. And see them every time he does this. Even if it’s daily.

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I’d politely tell him I’m focusing on my work I’m bieng paid for and have my talk time on breaks n lunches !!thats a good enough explanation why you’re not chatting away wasting company time ? Or go speak to his supervisor higher Management n express this situation ??

Every time he starts talking about himself just turn the conversation back to work. Start asking him questions about the work and he will go away cause he doesn’t want to focus on that.

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You speak to him 1 on 1 and do a follow up email about what was said in the conversation. If that does not help you go speak to HR and file a complaint. He can not retaliate against you either for doing this. As a manager myself documentation is your best friend in the workplace. Best of luck.

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Sometimes you have to be straight up with people like this! You dont have to be rude or mean however just get straight to the point!!!

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Overwhelmed by his new position. If you’ve done all of the above suggestions/comments and symptoms still persists :face_with_raised_eyebrow:,You can pretend to be listening but go on with your work, after all he is your manager :woman_shrugging:t5: .

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Go to HR. If he is so self centered, hard to tell what is down the road.

Managers stick together. Tell his ass, either way, you could get fired. It should be me, he stay away or pipe down with me. Fake like you hear him, keep it moving…

He could be a narcissist. Google narcissistic boss.

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Have you thought of reporting him to the boss
You let him away with it
Who’s next

You are not there to be listening to his person affairs this is very unprofessional. Keep a journal times.days the nature of this discussion. You have told him you r not interested.in these discussions. Take these to his manager for human.resources and leave it in their hands good luck

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Ignore ignore ignore. If he asks why he is being ignored… tell him that people that talk alot gives you anxiety!:joy: Look on the brightside… listening to him means you can do less work and go home!:rofl::rofl::rofl: Win Win lol

Talk to his manager about it

Narcissistic prick :rofl::+1:

Sounds to me like hes friendly and outgoing and you arent. Thats not his problem, its yours. Just saying.

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Go the next level up and make a complaint. Most companies have a no retaliation clause. If he continue’s to bother you make another complaint.

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If you feel uncomfortable you should contact HR.
You can put this a few ways. Either he’s telling you about himself because he’s trying to get you to open up and be friends or he’s boosting himself for attention. Either way the balls in your court and if you’ve told him to stop and he has continued than its time to go above him.

Just tell him he is interrupting your work. If he does not listen, take it above his head to his manager. Do NOT DARE claim he is sexually harassing you like the other lady in this thread said to do. :roll_eyes::roll_eyes: Dont ruin his life because he is annoying.

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To the OP… it’s hard to give advice here without a little more context of your positions in the company. I’m guessing he’s middle management and you’re not management. That said, when he interrupts you and a co-worker, acknowledge and dismiss him, respectfully. “Excuse me Mr. What’s your name, but we’re discussing something” and turn back to the conversation. When he tries to hound you while you’re working, do the same. If he doesn’t get the hint after a few tries, go to HR or upper management.

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Well, jobs have a chain of command… most jobs also have a hotline for employees who have issues like yours. Reach out to someone higher, look in your employee handbook. Social media isn’t where to go for this because every state is different with laws.

There is nothing sexually in this, so why would anybody do that to another person? Seriously? That is what is wrong with alot of people. Always trying to get someone else on false accusations. If you don’t like it maybe tell him how it makes you feel or just find another job. You was looking for a job when you found that one so should not be so hard.

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I would say, “I don’t mean to sound rude but I really don’t like small talk. I’d rather just work. Unless it’s work related I’d rather keep this professional and not personal.”

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I think filing a sexual harassment claim would be the worst thing she could do being that there’s been no suggestion of sexual advances. But I would either ask to speak to another manager in confidentiality or speak to an H R representative .

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Honestly what I do when interacting with co-workers and even managers I don’t care for is avoid them and only talk to them when they ask something of me. My response is always short and I don’t continue to engage in any conversation. Usually people get the hint that you just don’t want to talk to them. If this person makes you uncomfortable I would tell other management that he makes you uncomfortable and that you would like it if he kept his distance. Don’t claim sexual harassment unless there is in fact some type of sexual harassment.

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You need to address how your feeling with your manager. Tell him that you don’t like small talk. Let him know that it makes you feel uncomfortable. It seems like hes the type of person that you need to be direct with; Not beat around the Bush.

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Sounds like he has a crush on u cuz hes trying go brag🤣

Just ignore him
Walk away
Or complete the convo once he leaves
Hes annoying and he is ur boss and makes ur paycheck

Sounds like he wants go fit in and by doin that he jump into the convo

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Sounds like a path to sexual harassment.

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Sounds like he’s insecure with his new position and trying to fit in. He must sense that everyone you work with likes you, so if you like him he’ll be accepted. He’s struggling to find his place there obviously. I wound be passive aggressive, he’ll back off soon enough.

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If he hasn’t made any sexual advances/ asking you out on dates etc. a sexual harassment complaint will only make you look like a liar should something more inappropriate happen in the future. Send him an email and just explain, “as you’ve mentioned once before” you prefer to leave socialising with co-workers and management to a minimum during business hours and/ or breaks. Explain you’d rather focus on your job because you want to be efficient at it.
Don’t delete it from your sent items and keep a hard copy. If he persists, take it to his manager providing the proof that you’ve already asked him to stop. Try to keep a record of the the times he does this “Jan. 10- 8 am, 15 mins. Topic included golf tournament” type stuff. It’ll help you in the long run should matters get worse. Don’t wait too long between talking to him and his manager, but don’t go to his manager the first time he does it after you’ve sent the warning email.
AND if you need to ‘vent’ with co-workers about it, do it in emails so you have proof, especially of them backing you up. Use statements like “did you see/hear what he did/said”.
I know it’s a lot of work, but it’s the best way to cover yourself. Try not to let on to him that you’ll take it to upper management because he may jump the gun and accuse you.

Okay did I miss something?! I’ve reread this 5 times and see nothing about her suggesting sexual harrassment? Am I blind or is it really not there?

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Act crazy- tell him you’re madly in love with him and think you’re pregnant with his spirit baby, and ask him to your special church. Tell him they serve cherry koolaid

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Be assertive. Simply say to him that all of this talking makes you uncomfortable and prevents you from doing your best at your job. Tell him you would like it to stop. Don’t just go to HR or above. Be assertive.

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If he is not making sexual advances, do NOT file a sexual harassment report. Keep it cool, calm and collective. There are some managers like that you simply need to suck up. I would respectfully tell him you are not comfortable with the extra small talk and just want to focus on your job. There is no need to call cooperate for him being on his high horse. They won’t do anything without evidence he is breaking some type of policy.

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Doesn’t he have work to do? He needs to get busy and leave you alone.

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I would point blank tell him that you are trying to do your job and it’s not that you aren’t interested in what he has to say but if it doesn’t pertain to your work you don’t want others thinking you are slacking and buddying up to the manager by not being as productive as you were before he came aboard…I’ve done this before myself and it actually worked out well bc all my manager was trying to do was to get everyone to like him but went about it like yours is the totally wrong way. Good luck.

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Everyone has a boss and if you feel uncomfortable around him go to his boss. Go as high up the ladder ad you have to til someone hears you.

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Just repeat verbatim whatever he says to you… So I hear you wat me to know: “________”. He’ll feel “heard” and back off.

Its simple really, go to work do you’re job and go home. It’s not you’re job to socialize I’m sure, he probably sees it as an opening to be social with you because you’re social with you’re other coworkers. The best way to show that you’re not open to socializing on the job is to not socialize on the job🤷‍♀️ I keep seeing peoples comments talking about sexual harassment but I dont see anything related to sexual harassment personally unless something was edited or deleted…? Idk. He sounds annoying af and possibly even insecure in his new position, but that’s not equivalent to any kind of harassment. He probably notices you’re reluctant with him but not others and is most likely, in his own way trying to get to know you and make you more comfortable with the change in management.

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Tell him to get lost. Or am I the only one that can talk to their boss like that? Going to human resources nowadays is just marking yourself a snitch.

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next time he drones on about himself, just sneeze in his mouth.

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Go over his head if he’s making you uncomfortable. Chain of command

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Is it just you, or does he do it to everyone?
That sucks, I’m an upfront person though, so I’d probably tell him about himself…but in a joking way…but he’ll trip off what you say if you say it right.

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Reach out to your HR department or whoever’s above him

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Have a co-worker call you and excuse yourself to answer the phone. He might move on to another person. If he annoys that person too call and save that person too.