I’m just curious how mamas with two small children found the courage to leave? My kids are 3 and 1, and their dad is a complete asshole. I forgave him for cheating on me while I was pregnant with our youngest and regret it every day. Just as an example of his behavior yesterday, he called me lazy and accused me of cheating on him because I didn’t go grocery shopping. Anyways, I’m terrified to leave because I have no familial support here, but I want out. I don’t want my kids thinking this is normal or acceptable behavior. Thanks, mamas.
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What about moving back to where you have support?
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Just do it if you want to go
Leave…do it by yourself… you don’t need him.
Move to where your family is. I was 22yrs old and mom of 3 when i left my 1st husband. I packed up what i could and moved 2 towns over.
I left my ex-husband when my kids were 3 and 1. Best thing I ever did. You would be surprised how many other single moms out there need support too and you can lean on them. Join a moms group, reach out to any family you can, look into state programs for help with daycare and school. You got this mama
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Go back to where the family support is. You can’t live like that
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You can do it momma. I have no family and im a single mom of 3. I have an apartment and a job and we are surviving. Its jard but your not helpless. Use state programs to help.
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Check with a lawyer first. If you take the kids he could file in your city and get custody some state have a mileage limit.
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Is there a women’s shelter near u that u can go to or a friend…Where do u live
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Leave, everything else will fall into place. If being treated like that is the norm in your household, you don’t need loved ones support. You will feel the weight lifted off of your shoulders and it will be more than enough
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Move back where you have support.
Don’t say anything to him about it just go
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If I did it with 6 kids under the age of 10, with ZERO family and ZERO friends bc of the control, YOU CAN do it. One day you will realize you had enough, and you’ll just walk without second thoughts. First chance you get to walk, you go and NEVER turn back.
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U should have a local woman’s domestic violence shelter call and ask for help. The sheriff’s office shoyld have their number.
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Legal separation…will remove him because of the kids, verbal abuse, kids witnessing everything…u cannot bring up what you forgave,
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You need to get you ducks in a row first. As in child support, a place to rent, how much you can afford, you’ll have to work, so child care subsidy look into. Idk where your from but in Canada there is lots of support groups.
If you set your mind to it, and start making a list of everything you need and putting your time into it, it’s alot easier then you think.
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You ask your family to send you grayhound tickets, get all the important papers with you and get on the bus.
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When they accuse you, theyre always guilty
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You can do it! I did it when I had 3 kids…once you’re out, there’s no turning back. As long as you have your kids with you, you’ll make it through.
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Move before that jackass files for some kind of custody & you’re stuck there forever. I swear it sounds bad but i live 2000 miles from my family & friends because i was stupid enough to hope we’d get back together, but he tricked me, he filed for temp full custody, it got rewarded & i didn’t get my babies back until i hired a lawyer and got my babies back in my arms. It wasn’t that i was unfit, apparently some judges won’t listen to you unless you have legal representation. I love my babies but I regret not moving when i could 
good luck. Im literally stuck in my ex’s home state until i can afford a lawyer willing to fight against a very aggressive lawyer that his parents pay for.
You can do it momma! I left my daughters dad two years ago. You and your kids don’t deserve that! I didn’t want my daughter to think that’s how men should treat a women, I wanted her to know that behavior isn’t acceptable!
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Look for resources in your area if you want to stay there. If not I would suggest moving closer to family because asshole men can turn crazy quick
Go to a women’s shelter.
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Definitely contact an attorney first. If your family is too far away, you may not be able to take them. I have a friend that had to get her ex"s permission to move over 100 miles away & out of state. Find out your rights in your state.
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You need to have a plan. And don’t tell him because then he may try to sabotage things for you.
Also make a bag with all your most important items and put it somewhere easy to reach, but hidden in case of emergency. For you and the kids… (if it ever got physical)
You need to tell someone ,boss, neighbor. Just anyone. So that they are aware and can help if needed.
Write down important phone numbers.
Make sure hes locked out of anything he could steal from (like joint bank )
You need some support, I would suggest looking online for places that are experienced and knowledgeable in this type of situation. Like local womens shelters… everything. Make sure you have all your ducks in a row before you make the plunge. You CAN do this! Best of luck.
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Women’s shelters! I once moved out of state with an abusive ex and had no family to help me right away. Ended up finding a wonderful abuse shelter that took amazing care of me and helped me til I could get out!
You just need to do it. It took me 9 years 3 kids later to realise when I was pregnant with first and tried to leave but got pulled back in that that kind of behaviour is so toxic for children and can be so mentally draining on you. Please leave times will be hard !! They will be but find it in u to do what u can and to make life the best u can. With determination u can and will be more successful without him then with. It took me a car accident and being cheated on while in icu a lot of heart breaks and crying but a year later I’m happier then ever! I appreciate life more he isn’t bothering being a father and my kids are better off.
Try to keep all the things you are doing pertaining to this as hush and unsuspicious as possible. It will likely make it way easier!
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If you use your phone to contact the women shelter or police do not let him get ahold of your phone or there will be a price to pay from him so be very careful but you need to go to a woman shelter
Get a job if you don’t already have one and start putting money back. Let him accuse you all he wants - you’ll be able to have your own place I’m a month or 2.
Get your ducks in a row and be ready to walk. There are shelters/organizations that will help. In SC the shelters will help with child care while you search for a job ir work. On catch here is you have a curfew time and help with transportation to and from work. Investigate all options
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You need to find a support First do not let him know and take the children and leave to Stay is not good do what you need to do for you and the children I know belive me been just where you are you will be fine .He is not going to change .I tryied twice with family life advisor but he still went right back to his games . cheating lieing drinking name calling you name it .Blamed me for all .so I got help support .Went to work About 9 months afterwards loved it less stressful moments .
Legal services can give you help.
Make a plan A, also have plan B ready, than walk, no looking back
It is hard but worth it. I left with a 2 yr old and a 3 week old. I cried for months. My heart and sole hurt every single day. But then in the middle of divorce I realized it wasnt heartbreak that I was hurting from it was knowing he would do the same thing to our girls.
Its hard very hard but you will make it. Find anyone to help, go to the women’s shelter and see if they can help. Get a bus ticket ANYTHING. There is help all over you just need to look and be vocal that you need it. It could take awhile to leave but do it.
- make a plan
- where will you stay
- how will you get there
- how long will you stay there
- what will you bring with you - clothes, toys, furniture etc
- work
- child care
- live
Get your plan together and then leave.
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First ignore the lazy and cheating commrnts. It’s a favorite excuse for men who want out or just like bullying their wives. If you want advice, get a lawyer or some legal aid to find out what you need to do. Then start getting your ducks in a row. You will need a place to go, childcare, food and rental help. If you need to, go back for additional training. Student loans can help. It’s no walk in the park to be single and have young children. If you plan ahead, you can do it. It will be tight but worth it.
Call your nearest shelter for women
Get out and dont look back…i did it…After 8 years with a drug addict husband and pure hell i ended up having a son with him…he still refused to get clean…so my friend got me to a greyhound we had the cops come cause he was there to try n stop me…the cops allowed me and our son to get on the bus and i left west virginia with the clothes on our backs and a diaper bag and my 10 month old son and not a dime to my name…ive been in florida for a year and a half now and in just that time ive finally got a stable home…all the material stuff and then some has been replaced …ive regained my joy and peace of mind ive also met an amazing man who takes care of me and my son as if he were his own…ive found real love real happiness and stability after 9 years of being scared to leave…im telling u get out…the longer u stay the harder it is but tho it may seem scary its not once u do it…if u got the strength to leave u got the strength to get on ur feet…
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Womens shelter. File Emergency custody thru your assistance office. Possibly a PFA as well. During this stuff contact family for long term help. The womens shelter can help set you up to become independent. If I were you I’d also look in to counseling
Make a plan, save up what money you can and start the process of filling for child support and any other assistance you can get like housing and then while he’s gone pack the car and go and make sure you’ve filed for divorce and as well
Why do you have to leave? You are the one with small children!
I did it!! Everybody situation is different. Do what is best for you and your kids.
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shoved everything I could in my car while he was working and drove 1500 miles to my family
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Approach a womans shelter and ask for help anonymous to help get you out of toxic relationship. Go on the contraceptive and walk away not worth it.
Ha… My ex was the same. I was 9 months pregnant and accused of cheating IN THE SAME HOUSE lol… Luckily my state … Mental abuse is serious. And i called the cops at night while the kids were sleeping. And had him removed. Been happy ever since.
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If you have a protection service or welfare case worker. Talk to her/him. And I don’t see how a mother with 2 babies can find the time to cheat. Chances are… he’s cheating again. Psychology showed me that his attitude towards you is how he reflexes on himself.
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I just walked out and went to my sister’s until I was able to get a place… If you don’t have family I’d say a shelter… Do you have a job? If not it’s best to start searching the day you leave!
Girl leave… I kicked my sons father out 3 years ago. The best decision I’ve ever made. Those babies need a strong happy momma they don’t need to see you sad because your getting verbally abused. QUEEN KNOW YOUR WORTH. Staying in a relationship for the kids is a terrible idea kids are strong and resilient. My sons father use to verbally abuse me in front of the baby (even though he was to young to understand) it’s unacceptable and Uncalled for. One day take u and those babies to family court, file for full custody and get child support.
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I did it, stayed too long, almost lost my mind, literally, got serious, and finally left for good gayer several attempts. Don’t wait, do it bow before too much damage is done to your children!
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Girl that’s so toxic! I hope you find the courage and the means to get out:heart:
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Please message me. It can be discreet, promise. I have been through so much w my kids dad and just recently left. You can do this. Plz message if you want to talk
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Wait until he goes to work and empty the bank account, Park the cars somewhere safe( take the license plates off) get a uhual and pack up the most expensive things (to sale) make sure you get all of your children’s things and important stuff of yours ( see if a neighbor will help you get it into the uhaul), find a nice city to move to, put all of the stuff in a hotel room, return the uhaul, get the car, if you have more than one sell the other as quick as you can, find a housing authority and apply for emergency housing. Or if the city you find has a community action and a program that pays security deposit and first months rent get that too. *my mom did that
Call a women’s shelter, follow their instructions to get out with your kids SAFELY. It may take some planning & covering your tracks to achieve your goal, but women more scared than you do this every day.
Consult a lawyer if the shelter doesn’t provide you with information about court, protection, support, custody and visitation. Find out what you can & cant do so as not to jeopardize your custody of the kids & what you need to do to protect them from their dad’s potential actions.
You have the will & courage in you to leave, you just need to access it. There will be strangers, friends and family to help you along the way & you have all the women (& men) on here to cheer you on and provide advice.
It won’t be easy, but life rarely is, & I’m guessing he is not much help with the home & kids, so you will be better off without the stress of his abuse. Good luck. Your journey towards a better life starts now. 
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Stop being scared and just leave. You can do it and you will never find your strength if you keep staying because of the fear of failure. As long as you’ve got your kids no matter the struggles, every single day you’ll be living a life that you’re proud of and that they deserve. You’re blocking your blessings by staying. Good luck…you can make it.
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You put your kids first and leave, and go file for divorce and full custody
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Contact womens shelters. It’s hard to leave when you have kids but I promise you will feel better knowing they’re safe and not being exposed to that behavior.
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Prayers !! to give you the strength to do the rt thing for your children/self.
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Like a fist fight, the one who throws and lands the first punch wins. In other words, “GET A DIVORCE LAWER”. It’s imperative for you to get one first. Preferably, a female. He or she will guide you and tell you what actions is in your best intrest. Most lawyers will probate or have your spouce pay for their services.
There is so much support out there mama! My mom has dementia, my dad died when I was 11yrs. I had nobody but legal aid and whatever assistance I could find locally. I did it all without any family support. I had a 6, 8, and 9 year old at the time. It can be done, you got this!
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Where are you located? What state?
You just have to make up your mind to do it. My kids were the same age and I was 9 hours from home.
If you can get him out. I would have the police involved. Hopefully you can afford to keep you can stay, so you won’t inconvenience yourself with the kids. Get a protection order on him. If not find a way to get your children out. God will take care of you and your family 
. I did it with 3 kids. Praying for you
I left my husband with my 1 & 3 yrs old. (45 yrs ago) It wasn’t easy by any means …. but it saved me & because of my kids I am what I am today, because everything I did, I did for them & myself 
Oh & I never married again. Nor did I introduce many of the men I went out with to my kids over the yrs. I needed to be able to support myself & kids before I got into a serious relationship…. But I did have fun along the way
If he is accusing you he is cheating again. So making things difficult for you. Maybe he wants you to go? Whatever…make a plan, pack what you can in your car and go to a family member or a shelter. They will guide you on your next step. If you are married, file for divorce and child support. Depends on your state how far you can go with the kids. Keep that in mind cause the Dad might play the grieving father. If divorce file first.
Start putting some money aside and make your plan of what is important to take. Clean out the bank accounts on the day you leave and go. Good luck to you and your precious babies
WoW sad situation. I know God wants better for you and your kids. Pray Pray for God to bring you a way out. So you can start healing.
You are in my prayers
Reread the last sentence again. You are already in the right path. That was the breaking point for me to finally stand my ground after trying to leave him for years. You are married, so you have more rights as a spouse. Hire a lawyer, but do not stay! I hate when people say you have to stay and make it work for the kids. No, just no! If the father(or mother) is toxic, then that’s going to affect the kids. Kids sense the dysfunction. It’s scary at first when kids are involved, but trust me, the other side of the bridge is nothing but amazing. Cross the bridge, you are half way there! All the best xo
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Listen, I’m with Tracy Emmett. Women’s shelter is definitely the BEST way to go, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with starting from scratch when it’s for the sake of your children and your SANITY or peace of mind!! If you have family that won’t help, then you don’t need them. You CAN do this on your own, us women have so many resources available to us that you’ll be able to bounce back inside of 6 months if you apply yourself well enough! GET OUT NOW and do what you have to do for you and your kids!!!
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My kids are literally the same age as yours and my EX husband did the exact same things to me. LEAVE!! I AM SO HAPPY NOW AND SO ARE MY KIDS you all deserve better! It will be hard but I promise you so so worth it!!! Do better for yourself and your babies!! Stay strong mama 
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Shelter, trusted friend, women’s agency, someone can help you! I was fortunate enough to have family that took me in, but you won’t have to search far to find a friend or agency that understands your plight and will offer a helping hand. One of the responders above is correct…within 6 months I had found a job, purchased a dependable vehicle, and had a new place of my own. That was almost 6 years ago! At the time that 6 month transition felt like a lifetime but I would do it ALL OVER AGAIN! I have never looked back!
My favorite holiday, what does this have to do with the title .
Girl I’m telling you from experience that it doesn’t get better. You just gotta realize that you and your kids both deserve better. Are there and women’s shelters you could go to? Not ideal but will help you get on your feet and help with resources
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I kicked my now 6 year olds donor out when she was 2 months old, I had the police come to escort him in to get his things, I changed the locks and moved on. He made it extremely difficult the first 2 years but I stood my ground and I’m better for it, and that makes me a better mom for my child. If you have to leave then you leave!
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I’d have the police come and help you so he can’t hurt you and tu can safely get all your stuff out. Stay at a motel if need be and reach out to fam and hopefully they can help you. I hope your future is bright
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Seriously…I’m not trying to be mean, but when I liked this page it was to see Holiday stuff ( and that’s what USED to be on here), this isn’t an advice column for relationships.
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Every case and story is different, I left mine , he was a great Dad to our two girls, he worked all the time we had nice house, I had nice new car, furniture, I worked also, but he like to party , never came home stayed out all weekend and was alcoholic, and on drugs! Then I caught him cheating, he was always gone! I just couldn’t take it no more, he beat me and was always good to the kids when he was home! Finally after he hit me to many times my neighbors call the cops, while he was locked up that whole weekend I pack up my kids and with help from my family I moved to another town and started over, I had it hard and had work two jobs all I did was work!He never found us! He finally move on! I kept in touch with his mom and brother! But never ask him for anything! My daughters are grown, they have family’s of their own! It wasn’t easy for me! It was really hard! But it was like I had been a little bird in cage and I was set free! I never remarried, I was 36 then I’m now 65! The x was killed in an accident! I’m very happy I prayed and with Gods help I’m happy now!
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You dont need family support. Youre a mom do what youhave to do.nobody said itll be easy
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Not normal?you and your kids deserve better. Have faith.you will make it without him
If u cannot toss him out…seek an attorney and get yourself protected before leaving. Marital abandonment is a nasty charge to get out from under.
How did people live before they had the internet to ask strangers personal questions and advice on their lives?
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Look for a local women’s shelter or safe house.
Nothing to do with any holiday.
Where’s your family?
If there are no shelters check with a local church…there are many that will help…this is not your fault and life will get better
How does this have anything to do with this page??
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Figure it out on your own lady. this isnt an bitter baby mama page.
and fuck this page. always some bullshit relationship crap on here.