I have been with my husband for 22 years. We have 5 children…only 1 together…our 1 is graduating high school this year. He is looking at going away to school for sports. My husband has been very distant with me for the past few weeks. I was away for over a month. Since being back it has been pretty stressful for me. We have only had sex twice. He doesn’t communicate with me. We had planned on going for a walk with our dogs one night, then he decided that he needed time alone so didn’t want to go with me. But when he got back he wanted to. But I felt very hurt. It has been almost a week. He will not talk to me as to what is going on. He is making our son stressed out over school. I guess what I am asking is for advice on how to make my son feel positive about school and how to get my husband to communicate with me. I am sorry for a long post. Thank you in advance for all the help
Can I ask why you went away for a month? I feel like there isn’t enough context to this.
Remind your son how excited you are for this chapter of his life. And you can’t wait to see him play (whatever sport)… then mention that you and dad are so proud of him… this might get dad to join in this talk opening the door for you later and give son ease
Good luck. I’ve had sex 2 times in the last 14 years. My husband stays mad at me and hates everything about me. Because Im a very strong independent person and what I want. Which when he met me turned him on and now that he’s clean and sober off of his drug addiction he hates about me and wants me to be that Susie homemaker and it’s never been there. So I don’t feel bad about who I am.
Hate to say it but, could he be cheating? 
Or mid life crisis?
I’m kinda dealing with the same with my husband of almost 8 years we have 1 child together and I have one from a previous marriage and we’re in the same rut and he’s also distant lately but I know he’s dealing with a lot of stress lately
I’m sorry to you’re going through such a hard time that should be exciting for the family. However, I feel as though Dad may be having a hard time accepting that yall son will be leaving the nest soon. Keep encouraging your son to follow his heart and his dreams . As far as your marriage, unfortunately his feelings of his son is spilling over to you both. Have a talk with him, comfort him and when he needs space try not take it personal and remain loving .
He may be having a hard time letting his son go…and by that i mean, grow up and leave…it was hard on my husband when all of ours left off to school…(we still have a 17 year old girl at home)
we do a lot together though…but it was tough…
Let the son know, you all love him, and will be there for anything he needs! That he will do great things, and it’s ok to go!
That you are only a phone call or FT away….
As for dad, communication is key…it’s hard for some men to communicate that they are having a rough time…good luck to ya, and your son!
Sounds like hubby is checked out of the relationship.
I’d focus on your son, make sure your relationship with him is dialed and after he is settled in college, have a very honest talk with your husband
Agreed with what a few others have posted. Sounds like there’s a lot of change and it’s taking an emotional toll on everyone. Reiterate to your son that you’ll support him in whatever he decides to do. Sounds like your husband is dealing with emotions about your son leaving as well. Maybe sit down at the table over dinner and open up lines for communication that way. Sounds like everyone needs to get some things off their chest. 
Your husband may be having a hard time with his son going away. He may be depressed. Men go through emotions as well and usually don’t talk about it
Focus on getting your son to school thats most important right now. As far as relationship he needs to grow up. Thats something you can work on after your son is safely in school
Every relationship has ebbs and flows. Just keep that line of communication open.
You were away for a month?. Ask him whats wrong.
Walk your son off to college. Tell your man grow up or your gone. Nobody has time for baby games. Not in this lifetime ,it’s sad enough. Good luck
Ps.i would not allow my husband or any man take my child’s happiness .
If he doesn’t want to communicate he won’t.
I’m currently trying working out my shit to leave mime that do3snt communicate with me. I want my daughter deserves to be responded to
My husband and I prioritize coffee together every single morning. It gives us time to talk about everything and stay connected. Sometimes it’s best to not react to an expressed need for space. It sounds like his alone time filled him up enough he could make space for you too.
Y were u away 4 a month…that could explain the behavior
I assume you ask what’s wrong and he doesn’t communicate with you. Maybe being open about your feelings may help him do the same. Went through similar issue with mine recently. Counseling has helped
Maybe he’s depressed people forget that men suffer through mental illness as well. Maybe you being gone for a month has to do with why he’s feeling the way that he is
He’s probably upset the son is leaving for school. Men internalize differently than we do, I’ve realized.
He may of cheated and feels really bad about it. He made a mistake. Just be ready to decide if you can except it. Possible he even only flirted or kissed. That could eat him up inside
Um you went away for a month. Maybe that’s it
He’s stressed put too I would say that he’s cheating, I’d say it’s the kid graduating and leaving yall at that not just college he’s moving away
Why were you gone for a month
He may have something on his mind he just can’t talk to you about and it may be something you don’t want to hear, been there…
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Men handle stress and emotions differently then woman. We tend to like to talk about stuff and men don’t they like to bottle it up and try to deal with it themselves. Alot of men I know that do that. It’s like they think if they talk about their feelings it somehow makes them weak. Im sure all the kids getting older and one graduating is probably bothering him.
Girl idk why you were gone for a month but I’d be on my knees quick, he’s gonna want to spend some more time around you after that, make a big ol breakfast too
Tell him to stop acting like a girl and man up!!
Ask him his girlfriends name
Just talk to him.
Yes make a time everyday for just the 2 of you.
Get busy and do your own thing. He ll notice your not there.
Becoming empty nesters is a little frightening. It’s a big change for both of you. He could be apprehensive about it. I was sad when we were going thru it. People handle it differently. Sit down with him and open up. Ask him why you feel like he’s shutting down. Why is he giving him a hard time?. Also if he’s going thru a mid life crisis it could cause this. He may feel lost. Why does he need time alone when you were gone so long? Only he can answer this.
My SIL and BIL are gamers. They go to play cards with friends. I and my husband enjoy puzzles. My husband started fishing when he went thru the change. Maybe y’all need a hobby to do together. Seems like he’s worried about a lot of stuff. God bless. Pray with him about it.
Sounds like your husband is anxious/stressed about your son graduating and maybe worried about funds for higher education for him. That is a lot of stress if so and many internalize it which comes out in distancing. Ask him then if it is give him time to regroup.
Something may have happened while you were gone, as in another woman. It could just be the stress of your son needing money for college. He needs to tell you. I would ask him outright if he’s stressed about the money? If he says no, ask what is it then? Give examples about what you’re feeling. Don’t blame him, but use I feel statements. Good luck.
The only question is, WHY WERE U AWAY FOR A MONTH. It’s not always the man cheated. We need to also know that answer. Men also have feelings.
Sounds like the hubby is super stressed out about your guys son moving out and going to college. He doesn’t know how to communicate it tho. So maybe you need to sit down with him and tell him you’ve noticed he’s been very distant from you and you want to know if it’s anything to do with the son going away to college. Then offer up some ideas like maybe you guys can go and visit him once a month or you guys can FaceTime him etc… and just remind your son that you’re very proud of him and you’ll always be there for him and to keep focusing on going away to college.
He’s definitely worried and stressed out about something. You two need some alone relaxing time. Get everyone out of the house for a night. Cook his favorite meal and be sitting at the table wearing nothing but heels and a sexy smile when he walks in. That’ll get his attention
I assume the child you share “together” is the youngest so when he leaves for college somebody is going to crap in the empty nest, he’s distant and non communicative, and your seeking advice for dealing with bait and switch, nobody’s gonna get to wear the halo on this one
The only one who can answer that is your husband. You have to ask him.
You have been married to him for 22 years and you don’t know how to make him communicate with you? 
First off…why were you gone for a whole month. Wives don’t do that.
Communication has been the key to my marriage of almost 31 years, it wasn’t easy getting him to open up. From your post, I am thinking there may be many things going on with your hubby. How old is he? Sad b/c son is about to fly the nest? Men opause (for real, my husband at 53 began it) You know him best, you have to find a way to crack the shell and get to the center. You can do this! Has your son mentioned anything about this? Is he bothered by dads actions?
Might just be the fact that soon your going to have an empty nest just be you 2 from now on might not know how to deal.with it most parents focus so hard on the kids that when they leave they get a little.scared it’s always been a house of of kids and now it’s jut you 2
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Talk to him. Talking to us isn’t going to solve anything in your marriage. Talking to the person that is in your marriage will solve it
Why exactly were you gone a month? I couldn’t and wouldn’t be away from my husband that long. And would definitely drive each other away
You’re married 22 years and if you need advice on how to communicate then you’ve got bigger problems than just this.
Who writes these questions?
Best advice I think I could give is sit down and take time to talk to each other. Better yet listen to each other. Could be he is sad his only child is leaving for college. Could be mid-life crisis in his head. Communication and taking the time to listen and figure out your problems is the best way to go.
You have to ask him right out why he’s acting like that
Maybe he didn’t like you being away for a month. You need to just get him to sit down and talk to you. I think your child is grown enough to figure things out.
Why were you gone for a month ? Does he think you were cheating? We’re you cheating?
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Maybe he is feeling quilty about something that happened while you were away for so long!
Sounds like he might be depressed. I would sit down and talk with him. He might be on overload with you been gone and son graduating and leaving.