Needing potty training advice

I need some potty training advice. I have a 4 year old boy who is very delayed in communication skills and is waiting to be tested for adhd/autism. He is in preschool 4 days a week for half a day. He refuses to potty train. He goes to school in pull ups, he wears them at home, but he just refuses to use the toilet. We’ve bought him a small potty, and a cushy seat for the big one, and have tried all the rewards we can think of. We’ve tried all the tricks with going naked, or wearing regular undies, and he just doesn’t seem to care if he is wet or pees on the floor. He will also wait until he’s in a diaper or pull up to poop. I just have no clue how to get him to use the potty. He understands the concept, and loves to sit on the toilet with his toys, but he just won’t use it at all. I need help, because pull ups aren’t cheap, and I feel like I’m constantly sending them to his preschool, and always running out.


My son was like this, the only thing that worked was no more pull ups during the day at all. They will have accidents and they will pee and for a while it will not phase them but after a couple days he will get it, I also set timers for every 15 min for the first couple days and then after that I would just ask him if he had to go every so often to almost remind him to go and after about a week or so he was completely done. The hardest part is consistency! And with him being in preschool that may be harder, maybe you could try sending him in a pull up but let the school know so they try to get him to potty there; then when he’s home put him in underwear right away. It’s hard but it will get done! You got it!

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Chocolate, give him a hersheys kiss when he goes in the potty. I keep some in my freezer for my granddaughter she goes in the potty, makes me look, then says I get chocolate!!

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If he has any developmental delay, you really have to wait till developmentally ready.
You can try -
Setting a timer and going every x amount 20 mins. Once successfully for a day every 20 minutes, increase to 30 minutes. And so forth.
Show on a schedule
Printed bathroom routine
Social stories about using the bathroom
Might even be able to find social stories you can just print

My son is also delayed and has ADHD. It was so hard with him. I tried potty training him every year from the time he was 1. When he was 1 I would try for a few weeks, 2 a few weeks and so on. He finally started using the potty around 4ish. He would not go number 2 in the toilet tho. I found out it was because of constipation issues and it hurt him. Finally one day it just clicked and he pooped and has been since. Hang in there momma. They always say they won’t be on college on pull ups. One day it will just click for him and he will start going.

I’m in the same boat as you. I was told by his developmental pediatrician and by his OT to not push the issue of they aren’t ready because it can delay them from wanting to use it even more. The fact that he’ll sit on the potty is a great step. A lot of autistic children (and some adults) need to use the bathroom with a timer because they don’t feel the sensation of needing to go & k owing what to do with that feeling when they do get it. Just be consistent with sitting on the toilet every 20/30 minutes and wait for it to happen naturally for him.

Btw you can get pull ups through your child’s insurance for incontinence. Just talk to your doctor about sending an authorization to your insurance provider.