I need potty training tips 
my son is 3.5 and absolutely hates the idea of the toilet. I know hes ready because the second he goes to the bathroom hes asking to be changed. Even waking up in the middle of the night to be changed. After 6 months of begging, he finally started wearing undies, but when we take him into the bathroom to try, he goes stiff as a board and screams bloody murder. I dont want to traumatize him and make him even more scared but Iâm at a loss. The last week he has started to get up, take his pull up off, pee on the floor, and put his pullup back on. So he knows he has to go and he knows what hes doing. He has to be potty trained before school starts in August or they wont take him. Iâve offered bribes, money, toys, stickers, everything and every time he says âIâll try when Iâm 4â âIâll try when Iâm biggerâ Nothing is working. Iâve had his big sister show him, we praise her over and over, and tell him its his turn and he just screams and cries.
Read the book âOh Crapâ and follow the method. I found it extremely helpful.
Sounds like the little guy is anxious about the atmosphere when going to potty.
I used a favorite TV series (15-25 minute episodes) of my sonâs, between episodes, he had to attempt to sit. Didnât have to potty, but attempt. 4 days and was trained.
Get him his own padded toilet seat that sits within the larger one. Best of luck!
Donât judge me, Iâm a single mother who had to teach her son. I got my son into potty training by letting him pee in the bathtub when he had to go. (Of course I would clean it afterwards) but he thought it was fun and it gave him a big target to learn. After a short time, he moved onto the toilet with ease.
My son had issues with sitting on the toilet at first. I bought him one of those potty training toilets that look like the real thing and put it in the living room and then his bedroom to get him used to the idea of sitting on it and comfortable with it. Then when it was time to move on to the real potty I got him one like this. He was sooo afraid that he would fall in at first and that was the biggest issue.
Just take the pressure out of it. Gentle encouragement and make it fun and exciting even if he just sits on the toilet for 5 seconds make it such a big deal. My son is 3 and he HATED the idea would throw jocks away refusing to put them on. Wouldnât go near the toilet I just let it go for a month then tried again daycare helped by offering stickers etcs. Now his wearing jocks, having lots of accidents but also going to the toilet HEAPS and thinks itâs awesome 
Let him go with his dad . He will go when he is ready and trust me , not one minute sooner . Tell him all of the fun things he will miss out on at school if he doesnât go . ( parties etc . ) . Iâd also omit the pull ups at all times except bedtime and let him wear big boy underwear. He will hate the feeling of being wet . I am also in the middle of potty training as a Gigi and itâs not my favorite pastime lol . I try to tell myself I did this 3 times years ago
You have this problem because you waited too long. Girls can be trained in a couple days if you start at 18months. Boys about 2 years old. At this point you are going to have to let him cry and donât give in. It is a battle of wills now and your will must prevail.
Have you tried a small potty chair ? He may be afraid of the big potty
I just potty trained (still in process, sort of) my 2nd at 4. Donât feel bad, some just arenât ready when others are. We were met with panicked meltdowns before now if we so much as mentioned the potty. Bought him a pack of pullups last week, just to get him out of routine of âhisâ diapers, then had him sit on his potty chair in the pullup for a couple days to get over the fear of it, then a day of pulling the pullup down and sitting on it, next day I had him naked all day and using the potty with no issues! Lots of praise and some reward (thankfully with easter having just passed, we have candy on hand lol). We started this Monday, heâs going totally on his own but still struggling a bit with the idea of pooping on the potty at the moment. Totally dry overnight as long he doesnât have a drink an hour before laying down and making him pee right before going to bed.
Put a potty where he feels comfortable peeing. He seems to know when he needs to pee and takes his pull up down - he just seems scared of your actual bathroom.
Put a cheerio or a fruit loop in the toilet and tell him to sink it. Makes it a game and helps with their aim lol
They do it when theyâre ready. Heâs getting there, but heâs not quite there yet. Take a breath, give it time. This is a developmental milestone that - just like crawling or walking or talking - comes when it comes. 3.5 is in no way out of the ordinary (for a boy especially) not to be trained. Heâll get there, I promise.
Since it seems that itâs more about him being in control or afraid, take away the power struggle . Do your best acting like you donât care if he goes. Say⊠Itâs ok you donât have to go in the potty.
Then maybe try Two Ideas. 1. Have him help you make a potty time bucket.( Put in things he only gets to have when he is sitting on the potty. iPad, bubbles ) Get a fun timer. As long as he sits for that amount he gets the things even if he doesnât go. Tell him he doesnât have to go just sit. At first give him attention and praise for just sitting.
Once he does that without tantrums then you could try to give him the bucket only after he goes.
Ignore the accidents, but if you can think of a consequence that naturally occurs like ( your favorite show is on but we canât watch it because we have to clean up first, stay calm , just be matter of fact and maybe even sad. I really wanted to see it. Oh well . and when your daughter goes, make it the funnest thing ever for her. Treats etc. offer the bucket to your daughter. Act like itâs the funnest thing ever. When she goes celebrate and let her have ice cream cupcakes whatever. Just give her lots of attention . Donât get upset with him for not going, or having accidents just calm and neutral without negative or positive attention.
- Together come up with a potty party plan for when he decides to start actually going . Or plan a special activity to do together . Make it no big deal that he isnât going now. Just say⊠I canât wait until you are big enough to go in the potty itâs going to be so fun to goâŠ
The idea is one, take away the power struggle, make it more fun to go than not go. Every kid is different, he is only 3.5 itâs really ok.
I let mine pee outside lol once he figured that out, the toilet wasnât nothing⊠maybe try that, hope it helps
Put his potty chair somewhere he is more comfortable. My 3 year old would wake up and stand in front of the kitchen trash can and pee in his pull up and then take it off and throw it away. I put a potty chair in his room and checked it throughout the day and it actually worked really well to transition him out of diapers. Once he got that down, i removed the small potty.
My son hated using the potty when we first started to potty train, but we turned it into a âraceâ to see who could get to the bathroom first. Of course I always let him âwinâ. Within a few days he started going by himself.
Make a game out of it. chartâŠwith stickers. And then after a week rewardâŠand also get a little step stool so he. can get on the toilet and Praise. Him⊠.
Idk if this will help you but it did mine. I had the same age same situation finally when big boy undies was agreed on I would put a pull up over it for bed time. He hatedddddd the feeling of undies when he pottyâs on his self so eventually (2 day) he decided he had enough and gave the potty a shot
place the little plastic potties around the place there cheap and if he is starting to atleast wee in something u can transition to a toilet down the track , also get him to wee outside as much as possible
I had no bother at all with my 2 boys,took 6 days with my 2nd,followed with the potty,that was it
Put a ping pong ball in the toilet so he has to aim at it . Itâs then a game
Let him pee pee outside so itâs âfunâ and then after sometime work your way inside
Talk to your pediatrician
Donât use pull ups just use under wear.
Take them away and when he makes a mess make him clean it up.
Donât push him so much. He is now terrified of using the toilet. Ignore it change him when needed and if he tells you before he goes, even if he has gone by the time you change him, reward him with praise
Is he constipated? I would have him use a pee tree or bush outside instead of the toilet. Quit giving him pullups and have him help clean his mess
Can a man show him how?
I used to put cheerios in the toilet so my son could â shootâ them.
Let him pick his own underwear. Read books to him as long as he is on the toilet.
Watch videos about going pottyâŠ
I was the same as youâŠmy son freaked out I think he was getting constipated holding it so long & it hurt him so he REFUSED! After a super long struggle finally after many times of literally holding hugging him to get get him to sit on the toilet bc he was freaking out until he pooped, gave him ducolax chews at a regular time in afternoon got him on a schedule to have to poop at 630/7 and after a lot of comforting & freak outs on potty & comforts & starting the dreaded addiction of phones I let him play a puzzle on my phone while poopingâŠis going on a month now with no accidentsâŠyou got this momma this last child potty training was horrible for me & had me 500% defeated as a failing parent! They will get it in their own time but seriously start with ducloax chews at like 430/5 be ready for poop time around 6-7âŠ
Zoie GrevĂ© I ran a daycare for many years I never accepted kids over age of 3 who were not potty trained and couldnât use the restroom unassisted. Itâs a safety concern as I didnât have staff to cover to watch the other kids and kids make allegations sometimes that arenât true it was my way to protecting myself. That being said my kids were all potty trained before 3 and their daycares when I worked in restaurants also had the same policy itâs quite common.
What school would he be going to at 3/4 that requires to be potty trained?? My son went to preschool 2-4 and they never once tried to deny him based on potty training, and they actually helped a lot with it. Potty training is required by kindergarten, and even then they have aids to help. My son didnât potty train till he was 4 1/2, a lot of times boys potty train later and thereâs nothing wrong with that, itâs a big scary change to one of the only things toddlers have control over, let them lead you
I trained my kids to sit on the toilet backwards. They are more secure and donât get the feeling they are going to fall in and they can have their hands free to play with a toy or book!
My youngest grandson was stubborn about potty training. He was going to start preschool in the fall and also had to be potty trained. My daughter bought school supplies for her older child, but when she wouldnât buy them for the younger child he got upset. She told him he couldnât go to school because he wouldnât use the potty. He decided that day that he was going to no longer wear pull-ups and he never went back. For him, and many other kids, itâs a control issue. Of course, she now had to buy his school supplies. 
Why did you wait so long?
I used a frog urinal and stuck it to the fridge to begin with, itâs removed able to no need to take it off everytime you emptied it. It was great for going out too because you can literally stick it to tiles, side if washing machine ect.
Eventually he was comfortable for me to pop it on the tiles in the bathroom, and pop a potty next to it for him to poo x