I am pregnant only my babies dad and I know. My family is very toxic especially my mother. This is my third pregnancy and I know she will judge especially considering my babies dad and I have been together for awhile but she has yet to meet him. I don’t want any of my family to meet them nor do I wish to tell any of them that I am expecting considering I know nobody will have anything nice to say about it. I feel bad for wanting to keep my bf as well as our child a secret from my family but at the same time I don’t.
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Not enough info on why your whole family treats you this way.
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I have a ten year old some of my family has never met. He barely knows any of their names and my five and a half month old hasn’t met many of them either. I birthed these children and it’s my responsibility to make sure they are protected in all forms and in my opinion that means being protected from people that have only fake or conditional love for them. And before people tell me I’m heartless it’s because I’ve been through things no child should have been and my children will never be exposed to those things as long as I can help it.
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What do you consider toxic exactly!!! I don’t understand what that means!
Do what’s best for you and your mental health.
Congratulations on this newest blessing.
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Either they can be supportive or they don’t have to be in your lives. What’s the most important is the family you’ve made.
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My family is toxic as well. Controlling, abrasive, alienating, drunks, and so much more. My 8 year old has only met my dad (he is controlling, emotionally/mentally abusive), and my grandparents (dads parents) and she is alienating, and mentally abusive and controlling but they see my child once maybe twice a year for 2-3 hours. And the father took off cause I wouldn’t put up with his abuse and Hus family wanted nothing to do with me when we married an nothing to with my kid! So u do what’s best for u
You do whats best for you
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Do what’s best for you and your babies if they’re toxic then they don’t need to be in your life
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Do what’s best for the two of you and cut out anyone that’s toxic and has nothing good to say so your child grows up without that
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Maybe instead of keeping them secret, you could cut the toxic people off. Delete and block everyone that makes you feel that way then you can share your happiness freely.
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I went thru almost all of my 3rd pregnancy without alot of people knowing… I gained 15 lbs & stressed so wasn’t wanting people knowing much… you got this…
If your family is that toxic, cut them all off and just focus on you and your own little family you created. Then you don’t have to hide, you just live your life and leave the toxic people out
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Toxic is toxic you don’t need that negativity in your life and the stress isn’t good for you or your baby.
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I would love to know if your family is really toxic OR you just make messed up decisions and they call you on it. For instance they never met your boyfriend/baby daddy but you feel as though they would judge him and nobody will have anything nice to say about him. Why is that? Is he married? Is he a criminal? Does he have a whole bunch of kids by different women? Is he jobless? Are you taking care of him? I mean what’s the problem? See I know this type of story all too well. Just out of curiosity, do they have to help you take care of your other 2 kids? Like providing for them financially and help you raise and take care of them? Because if you’re TOTALLY independent, I don’t see why it would be a problem. 
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Your not really keeping them a secret. We call it breaking cycles. Thus happens when we were abused neglected. It’s okay to do thus you are an adult. Just make sure you create a safe and loving environment fir these babies.
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I could tell you a story or 10. If your family does not support you or makes you feel bad, babe, that’s not family, they are only relatives.
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Don’t feel bad…toxic is toxic, no matter where it comes from…& congratulations on ur bundle…
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What are you hiding 
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When I made my third pregnancy announcement, I did it over Facebook when I was 13 weeks. And I basically told everyone they can eff off if they didn’t agree with it and I had no concerns booting them out of mine and my children’s lives. You be excited over that baby. If you, your kids, and your baby’s dad are all healthy and happy and love each other then that is all that really matters.
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I learned that it’s OK to love ppl from afar. My sister is very toxic. She is a very bad influence on me. I love her but don’t like her as a person. So I cut her out if my life. I will always love her she is my sister and we did have some good times but she is not healthy for me.
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You as the Mother knows what is best. Don’t worry about them. You have your own family now.
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Doesn’t have to be a ‘secret’ persay, just a don’t ask, don’t tell kinda thing. Do you, no one needs to know your business if you don’t want them to.
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I hid my first pregnancy from my whole family for almost 6 months because I felt the same at the time. I did what I felt was best for me and no one else. Just take it day by day, and if you do t feel like telling them and you guys are ok with it then that’s what you do. It’s your life, if it’s less stressful for you then so be it!
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I didn’t tell anyone about my pregnancy. Especially my mother. I had the best pregnancy ever. Peaceful.
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You’re not keeping anything a secret. You’re just keeping your business to yourself, which is perfectly okay, especially when those around you are toxic. You’re breaking the cycle. If I were you, I would go about my life. Your family aren’t the ones having a child. They aren’t the ones raising your child or supporting your child. Their opinions are irrelevant. Keep that in mind. By not telling them, you’re not being secretive, you’re protecting your mental health.
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That’s a huge kick to your boyfriend and child to keep them a secret. Just let everyone know and block people who are rude and toxic 
This is your life. You don’t have to justify decisions to anyone.
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So, you don’t owe your family anything. Your kids, yes. Your SO, to an extent. You’ve already done what so many people can’t. You’ve kept your “toxic” family at arms length. 
You must feel guilty about something.
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Be Happy Scream it out if u want to and then send them all to Hell Periodt.
Do what’s best for you. Toxic is toxic. No one on my dad side has met my youngest and they only met my older two a handful of times. You gotta pick your own mental health over the approval of others.
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If that’s what you want to do, do it. You’ll probably be much happier anyhow.
Family isn’t always blood,sometimes it’s who stands by you when no one else has.
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Blood just makes you related. 
Doesn’t make you family. Surround yourself with people who make you happy and bring good energy.
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There’s nothing to feel bad about especially if you know for a fact that they will be unreceptive. No one wants to invite negativity and drama into their lives and I’m sure you don’t either…so don’t ….simply as that. Live your lives, be happy and don’t invite problems 
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You do what’s best for yourself and your life and family…you are not required to go around toxic ppl…I was with my bf for over 2 yes before he met my mother and had my son not wanted his whole family together for Christmas yr before last she prolly wouldn’t have met him then but money was tight abd it was the only thing I could do for my son …prior to that I hadn’t spoken or seen my mother in over three years and have broken ties once again
Toxic is toxic. Don’t feel bad. I tried keeping my pregnancies secret but it didn’t work, lol.
I just went thru something similar. I never announced it on social media. I told a super small group of people and those people were sworn to secrecy the entire pregnancy. It was so nice not having opinions and judgment thrown at me. There were times I got sad at the idea of nobody knowing and celebrating but this wasn’t my first baby so it wasn’t something that was too huge of a deal. Anyways do what’s best for you. Your body your choice and ultimately your problem! When others start paying your bills and buying diapers and babysitting your child THEN they can have a say in your life and your choices.
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Fk them! Who cares what they say?! All that matters is you’re happy! If they aren’t tell em to kick sticks and kiss ur pregnant @$$
Do what is best for you. There was a time when I had stopped going to my mother in laws house because the way she acted toward me and always upsetting my husband. Her saying I know this is gonna make you mad but I am gonna say it anyway. Always set my husband off. He has anger issues which he takes meds for but for a parent to intentionally do this every time we visited was terrible. Instead of driving an hour there and an hour back he just talked to his Dad several times a week.
Why is it they won’t have anything nice to say? Has he done something bad to make them feel that way? Sounds like this story is missing some information.
Also, I may have missed it but so we can better help you, What is the actual advice you need?
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My brothers and father has never met nor was told except by other people that i have a son. I feel like Your saving them from “toxic” to protect them not keeping them a secret
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Congratulations to you both
It’s okay if you don’t tell them you deserve a happy pregnancy
If they judge you then they can shove it where God only knows
I hope when you do chose to tell them they don’t be so mean
It’s your decision on what you want to do. If anyone gets annoyed at your decision well that’s just showing how they think everything should be about them when it’s not… it’s about you, your life not there’s and certainly not their decision on what you do with it or who you tell about your pregnancy.
I have family that haven’t met my husband and my children and wont. They made that decision when they abused me as a child and never apologized or change their behavior when i was an adult. I tried for many years, feeling like it was me or i was unlovable. Anyway let the guilt go! When the time is right seek therapy on how to tell your children about the extended family. I plan on doing this but my daughters two.
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Do what’s best for you. I kept my last 3 pregnancies a secret for the longest time just because I didn’t feel like it was anyone business. And with my fourth child no one met him until I was ready for them to met my child. At that time there was a lot of fighting within my family and I didn’t want anyone to know anything about me or my children until it settled down because I didn’t need the stress and neither did my children.
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You are under no obligation to do any of that
My last pregnancy, I kept very quiet about. Not many people knew about the baby until after I announced it of which I did once we got home from the hospital
Your family your life . Keep the toxic people away forever . Happy life .
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As long as your treated with respect and love from your partner then it’s none of there business
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Toxic is the key word.
I don’t tell majority of my family big events in my life…
And I have 3 children and I don’t include people who can’t act like adults and keep negative comments to themselves.
Good luck and I support your decision. Do what’s best for you and your little family 
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You celebrate it however you want. If you want to tell people block your family on your social accounts and make the announcement private.
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just cut them off completely
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Don’t say anything to them…it’s your live…
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Just because they are your biological family, does not mean they deserve to be a part of your life! If they are toxic and not good for your well being or your children then cut them out completely. We tend to give people a pass because they are “family”. You don’t have too. You don’t have to allow anyone in your life who doesn’t genuinely care about you. Make a new family and forget about them!
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My MIL was not happy about me being pregnant and she made sure we and everyone else for that matter knew it… Do not allow toxic people into your life if you know they are going to disturb your peace. Do whats best for you. You owe them nothing
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I feel your pain my friend. As when I got pregnant with my youngest, I tried so hard to hide it from my mum. Went as far as “forgetting” my bathingsuit on a Christmas trip to my grandparents, knowing that a trip to the hot springs was always a must. Surprisingly, in a house full of bigger women, my nana seemed to have a bathing suit just my size, to which I had to tell them I couldn’t and why. To where my mother replied with “you’re stupid, you’re an idiot, etc…” You do what you feel is right for you. Blood or not. Toxic is toxic.
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Don’t feel bad. Do what is absolutely best for you. My middle child is almost 3, and my entire pregnancy and the first 3 months of her life, her father’s family had no idea she existed because of their toxicity. They’ve improved, but we still keep them at arms length.
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Some families like to say and do things that crosses boundaries and causes drama if they don’t understand what they are doing you have to defend yourself by backing away from them keep to yourself really watch them when you do have to be near them who’s the trouble makers
This is your life. Starting anew…do you baby 
You’ll feel better with them not knowing your business. Drop them and start your own family
My mother in law and brother in law are super toxic we gave them a chance but my husband cute them out of our loves over 3 years ago and we both agree best decisions ever. They see my father a lot and did my mother before she passed. My kids never ask about my MIL or any of my in laws for that matter. They ask to go see my dad and they say everyday how much they miss my mom. So I get it I really do dont let toxic people in your families lives even of they are blood. My family has been so much happier without them in it.
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Yeah something is not right with this story …third pregnancy…is the other two babies in your custody?? Something is missing here
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My children have never met my siblings. To my knowledge they don’t know my younger ones exist. I can care less. You have to get rid of toxic people. Don’t feel bad about it. You’re protecting your children.
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Never feel bad for avoiding toxic people/situations. Just because they’re blood doesnt mean they need to be treated as such. You goda do what’s best for you mentally & physically!
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Toxic family isn’t family worthy
When I was pregnant with my second daughter there were people on his side who behind our backs said my daughter “wasn’t a good idea” which made absolutely no sense. Unless they are raising the baby, or paying for it, really isn’t any of their business and their opinions really don’t matter.
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May GOD Bless you and help you
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Don’t feel bad, toxic is toxic even if it’s blood or not. You have to do what’s best for you and your little family.
If that’s the way you feel, then don’t take him around them. It’s your choice.
Listen, nobody is obligated to have anyone be a part of their life if they are a toxic person it does not matter if they are your parent or your sister or your brother or your aunt or your uncle. If they are toxic they are toxic. You have to set boundaries. You are not a bad person for not wanting people to interrupt your life in a negative manner.
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You don’t owe anyone anything. You do not have to share anything about your life to anyone. Just because they are blood or “friends” doesn’t mean they need to know
Don’t feel bad. Protect your peace, protect the family that you’re making. Break those generational curses and raise your babies without that toxicity. You don’t owe your mother or anyone your peace or your joy.
You do what’s best for you and your family. You’re allowed to cut out toxic people even if family