So I’m just in need of some advice/support! One of my husbands best friend (a really good friend of both of us) passed away tonight in a car accident. He was only 21. It’s hitting my husband prettt hard. We’re completely heartbroken. For any wife’s/girlfriends who have been through this with their spouse, how do I help him? How do I make sure he’s okay while also making sure I’m okay? Any advice is appreciated.
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Just be there. Talk if he wants to talk.
Give him space to grieve, be there buy also leave him alone
So, both of my husbands childhood (through adulthood) best friends passed away right as we started getting serious. Unfortunately, I had to give him space to work through it himself. I tried to baby and hover over him making sure he was “ok”, but it just made things worse.
As life would have it, I lost MY best friend last year, and also just needed space to work through it. He let me simmer in my grief when I needed to, and otherwise doesn’t really bring it up. He DID coddle me, but with space as that’s what I needed. People said he wasn’t “being supportive enough,” but as someone who had already lived through it twice, and as my husband (MY PERSON,) he knew me and exactly what I needed. He did not even walk to the casket with me. He knew I needed to do that for myself.
Obviously not everyone is that way, but I think when someone has been hit with a significant loss, there is nothing anybody can do or say to help. Just listen when he’s ready.
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Just let him know your there when he needs hes ready to talk, even a gentle touch on his hand or shoulder, or a cuddle for comfort, only you know your husband best, if he needs space give it him, and don’t forget to grieve yourself, a great way to process emotion is to write down every thought/ feelings and there the obvious grief councillor. Im really Sorry for your loss 
Have the name of a grief counselor handy. It’s a lot to process when everyone is so young. Read up on the stages of grief and be there to listen. Maybe find a library book to either help him work through his grief or one that mirrors his experience so he doesn’t feel so alone.
Just be there. .listen to him. Pray for and with him.