Needing some serious advice about potty training

So. I am at the end of my rope. My second daughter will be 3 in June. We have started potty training, as she kept taking off her pull-up or diaper every time she peed in it or pooped; she acts like she doesn’t like the feel of a messy diaper or pull upon. Well, we have had a kid’s potty for her ever since she turned one. I thought she would be easy to potty train like her sister, as she would sit on it every time I went to the bathroom. However, this is not the case. She is not afraid of the potty but shows no interest at all in trying to use it. She will sit on it with her pants on. It off its fine, but it takes forever to actually use it. When she does, I make it a big deal and all, but she acts like that embarrasses her for her sister and me to praise her after. I even tried putting her on the big potty on a potty seat. He uses it but doesn’t act interested. Now, everything is getting worse. She will pull a pull-up or diaper off and immediately per in the floor after, or even poop on the floor. Diaper or pull-up can be dry and she still does it. Lately,it is like she sneaks around to do it. Pulls her diaper off and runs somewhere where I can’t see her and pees or poops. Had gotten to where she will smear her poop on the floor with her hands even. I have tried everything. Potty time dvds and books, trying to give her her space and time,as I don’t care if she potty trains right away, but I can’t stand her peeing and pooping in the floor much longer. When she does it,I will pop her butt and put her on the potty until she uses it,then praise her and put a pull up on her,but she still does it. Now,it has gotten to where does it so much some days that I am so mentally done with it that I put a movie on,give her a sippy and a snack,and close the door with her in her bed so she can’t come out of her room for 30 minutes to an hour bc I need a break after cleaning floors so much and so often. End up mopping a lot bc place would stink bc of it if I didn’t. Feel like I don’t know what to do anymore. Tried rewards,praising, giving her time, bribing,sticker chart, and even putting panties on her so she could find out how much better than diapers or pull ups they are and tell her if she potty trains,then she can be like her big sis or mommy. Still nothing. About ready to look and see if can find a behavior expert or something to help bc I no longer know how to handle this and it is getting to be too much…


She doesn’t sound ready to me. My daughter wasn’t ready until she was just over 3 when it was time she potty trained in a week. I did just a long shirt and naked the first day with a potty in the main room I was in . Remind every 15 mins to sit… day 2 was t-shirt and under pants worked on that for about 3 days then the next step was with pants and leaving the house. Oh and when ready, skip the pull ups. It’s too confusing bc they are basically diapers


Give it a break and try again in a couple weeks. She may not be ready just yet but really close. I waited until mine was ready and they practically potty trained themselves. My 3 was just past their 3rd birthday before they “got it”.


Both my girls are like this. I know it is exhausting…I know there is only so much someone can handle but it takes time and a lot of patience that you don’t think you are capable of but you are. All you can do is sigh and shake your head and do it all over the next day. My oldest daughter, it took taking pull ups away all together and just letting it happen…yes a lot of mopping and it sucks but timer set every 20 minutes and thats all you can do…maybe some potty training books you can read to her that will make it less scary. I used elmo as a motivation or some kid friendly potty training videos ft elmo or peppa pig or whatever they like

See a Doctor. Could be on the spectrum.

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Some children are definitely harder to potty train than others. Maybe panties during the day and when she goes other places than in the potty have her clean up her mess. You will more than likely have to finish the clean up but, it might show her that she really doesn’t like cleaning it up herself and then maybe she’ll start using the toilet.


We started with the little potty over a year ago with our daughter, shes 3 1/2…we are finally at the stage where she wears underwear all day, goes on the big potty…we did the sticker chart, every 5 times she peed she got a dollar store present! We went to the store to buy a “poop” present, and she started going 2 min after we got home!

I would put underwear on her instead of a pull up, or I would leave her naked and out the potty chair in like the living room or wherever she spends the most time. Watch her like a hawk, if she looks like she has to go put her on the potty. If she is talking, ask her if she has to go. Put her on the potty every hour. I wouldn’t be putting a pull-up on her because it’s just like a diaper. We had to do naked for about two weeks before I could even put underwear on her.


She is way over being ready ! It’s late in the game

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Put regular underwear on her and make her clean them herself. Sounds mean. But it will more than likely work. You show her how to do it and tell her next time she has to do it. May not even have to make her do it. You never know. But its worth a shot.


Take a break for like 2 weeks and restart, I used the “oh crap” method and my daughter was day and night trained in 7 days, a month before she turned 2! I highly recommend! But it takes patience!!

Get the potty watch. Take her to the bathroom every 15-30 minutes

I get it mama. It’s frustrating. My girls were both hard to potty train and, as if by some magical timeline, the month they turned 3 they both just got it with pretty much no more effort on my part. I was at the point you’re at as well and asked their doctor and the doctor just said there are biological and physiological reasons why some kids don’t get potty training…now as a 10 year RN I finally get it. She said don’t worry, normal, healthy children aren’t going to go to Kindergarten without being potty trained. Don’t lose hope mama. She’ll get it.
Edit to add: they’re 12 and 9 now and perfectly fine. Don’t stress too much over this even though it seems like it sucks. Enjoy her being little. Time flies.

Potty training party. You confine her and yourself to a small room for 3 days with toys and a potty chair. Don’t put anything on her bottom half and watch her all day for her to pee. I mean you gotta basically stare at her legs for pee to trickle down for those 3 days and Put her on the potty every 30 min for 5 min and in between watch her for her to start peeing when she starts peeing run her to the potty so she can finish in the potty. Praise her when she goes and don’t make a bug deal if she doesn’t just sit her on the potty and say we go in the potty while you clean it up. Dont forget to give lots of drinks during those 3 days. If she isn’t potty trained by the end of the 3rd day she isn’t ready. Wait a couple months and try again. And don’t get discouraged usually the 1st day and a half there just a bunch of cleaning up pee off the floor. Idk what it is but this really works.

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I’ve learned so far with potty training that pull ups are confusing. When my son wears them he pees/poops in them. He does better when in underwear. At the beginning he would cry for a pull up and I told him no and I had to let him go naked for a little bit until he was ready to give in to wearing underwear. We aren’t 100% there yet but since I’ve done that I’ve seen drastic improvement. We only do pull ups at bedtime or very long car rides now. It definitely takes alot of patience. I would also recommend speaking to pediatrician if you don’t start seeing any improvement.


I’m going through a similarly exhausting experience potty training my 2 year old. She is my 3rd kid and my other two were potty trained in a week. Believe me I’ve questioned everything I thought I knew about potty training with her. I’m still hanging in there and staying persistent, but she hasn’t pottied on the floor…yet. Just letting you know other mamas are in the same boat as you, hang in there! Sending you all the patience I can spare :rofl:

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Have her help clean it up and take it to the toilet make her sit on potty for a few minutes each time she messes then clean her up


So this was just our experience. Our son had just turned 3 when covid hit and everything closed. We had been trying to potty train since 18 months with the praise and rewards with no real outcome. Grandpa was helping watch him since we were both essential employees when the preschool closed and we still had to work.
Well grandpa couldn’t change his pull-ups.
We put him in underwear and had a talk. They’re old enough and can understand. We said you’re a big boy and you know when you need to potty so do it. Not ugly in any way, but stern enough that he knew I wasn’t playing. So daytime was underwear, bedtime the first week only was pull-ups. After an accident or 2 at the very beginning he doesn’t have any at all now. He has been successful potty trained for a year now :slightly_smiling_face:
Every child is different but I’m hoping some of our experience may help guide to a solution for you!! Goodluck mama!! :two_hearts::two_hearts:

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Get her a bunch of underwear and stop using pull up. Make her got sit on the potty every 30min. And it’s a pain but set your alarm and make her get up to usr the bathroom in the middle of the night also. She’ll get the hang of it.


My son was a poop smearer too. That was the worst. Take a few days and put her on the potty every 30 minutes. Put her in regular underwear. It will be exhausting but after the few days she will get the hang of it. I had to use a potty chart with my son and a prize once filled. He still doesn’t like pooping on the potty but he does it finally. It’s still not perfect, he still wears a pull up at night and has accidents a lot but mostly just pee. You can do this momma!

Buy some underwear for her, dont let her take them off even if she pees let her sit in it for a couple of minutes so she can see how uncomfortable it is, and make her help clean up the messes she makes. I know sounds cruel but some kids need a little “tough love” ig lol :woman_shrugging:t2:

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It’s a control issue as well as attention. She has complete control over when were and how she uses the bathroom second she is getting a ton of attention doing what she is doing why would she stop? To toddlers attention Is attention. Good or bad attention it’s all the same to them…give her some control over the matter which potty does she want to use which bathroom what reward second stop making the potty a punishment she will never respond well if she thinks it’s bad to sit on the potty…shes going on u mom and she winning stop giving potty training so much power relax its yucky and a pain in the ass but sooner or later they get it

Sounds like she’s needing a little bit of tough love she’s three I would make her clean with your assistance. I would pick up a little shovel of hers put it in her little hand and make her pick up her little turd and take it to the potty🤷‍♀️


Sucker or candy for every deposit in potty …works like a charm .

Every half hour to an hour she should be trying to use the potty. The development of routine for her is the first step. Also, if she makes a mess in the floor again and every time after, she should clean it up! Finally, a large reward, doll, bike, etc that she can see but can’t have until she’s making consistent progress was a great motivator for my girls. Remember to breathe mama :hugs::heart: you’re doing great!!


I make it known I do not like poop if she poops in her underwear im like be easy (when shes taking leg by leg out) do not sling that poop on me. I dump it in toilet and tell her its ok well try to make it next time thank u for being easy with ur mess.
If she pees on the floor i have her go get a towel she does it herself alot of the time. But now we have to wash ur hands dont touch nothing else. Like let them know poop and pee is gross. Mine just turned 3 so now she has 3 jobs be nice to your little sister no screaming in mommies car and pee on the potty. We wake up take diaper off put jnderwear on. She still has messes sometimes.
If you think shes not ready
I would duck tape them diapers on and tell her you are not getting poop all over my house no more. I wouldnt whoop her but talk to them they understand. Id act a fool. Crying look at whats on my floor again and u didnt just leave it so i could clean it easy youve made a bigger mess. This is nasty.
Im sorry but just incase no ones told u latley
Your doing a great job.

I didn’t read the whole story but start potty training as soon as the child is learning to sit.

Put the potty somewhere she goes to poo on the floor say nothing just leave it there don’t make anything of it if she does use it just empty clean and put back x

Kids are different. And on different schedules.

If you have her on a little potty, I would suggest getting one of the inserts that just sit in the “big person “ toilet. Maybe she doesn’t like being “different”.

One of mine was almost 3, one was 2, and one was already 3.

Don’t forget they are still young, Sometimes their bodies just aren’t giving them ample warning. Everyone develops on a different time line.

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My 2nd (middle) daughter was the same way. I could see she was just being stubborn & lazy. So I bribed her! Her older sister got a new bike & she wanted one too. I told her new bikes are only for big girls that used the potty. In 2 weeks (she wanted to see if I’d give in 1st) we took her to the store & let her pick out her new bike & helmet!
We can give you all the advice in the world that works for our kids. You are the only one that knows your littles personality. All 3 of my kids potty trained differently. My oldest decided at 12mn she was done with diapers & just used the toilet. My middle at 2.5 I bribed. My youngest at 2 we let him run naked & pee on trees. We live in the country & that cause a set if other issues when he started preschool… My sister sat her child on the potty every 30mins first 5day. The read books & sang song to distract her from think about the scary toilet.

I’m having the same exact problem with my son! Ugh! :pleading_face:

Put her in panties and find ur patients (she not even 3 yet) and set a timer, u will have accidents but have her help u clean them up. Kids will go when they are ready and the more apparent u are flustered the more it will probably deter her.

I did the no diaper route. Let them walk around without a diaper for a few days. My little one picked it up pretty quick, only peed twice on the floor. What ever you decide, don’t punish if she doesn’t go and be consistent!! Good luck

3 solutions 1. Go see a doctor incase she has autisum 2. Buy undies and make her clean them each time she pees or poos 3. Take a break of a month or 3 then try again

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Leave her choose when she’s ready…having a time frame for her won’t work…trust and relax