I need some word of encouragement… I’m really struggling with my 4 almost 5 year old. I’m pregnant with my second and someday are worse than other with how frustrated I get with my son. Sometimes I feel like such a bad mom because I feel like I’m constantly yelling at him for not listening, among other things.
Might be worth looking at why you think he isn’t listening? Lack of concentration, rebellion, inconsistency, muddled expectations…some times you do have to take a step back, look at the big picture and identify areas that could be leading to certain behaviours. And take a breath when you’re becoming overwhelmed, regulate yourself and go again. My first born was a handful with her emotions at a young age, had a lot going on…teaching her the right words and context in an age friendly way helped both of us figure out what the melt downs were all about. My middle child…she’s a dreamer…at 2, something as simple as “stop, turn your ears on” and wiggling ears would draw her complete attention back to me. My youngest was a breeze lol but that’s kids for you…what works for one, doesn’t for the other some times and what worked for you a year ago, might not work now so we as parents are learning as we go the same as our kids are. I know this probably sounds all hippy blah blah lol but there’s a lot of benefit that comes with slowing down for a few minutes, trying something new or trying again and having the patience to really be persistent with it to set new expectations, new rules, new routines etc.
Ask questions vs. giving him ultimatums. “What do you see that needs to be done?” “What chore are you going to do today?” After you tell him to do something, ask him to tell you what you just said in his own words and what steps he will take to accomplish the task.
Have a chore chart he can read, and if he does his daily tasks, he gets a gold star or check mark. If he does it on time or without complaining he gets extra stars. If he does all or most of his tasks for the week he gets something special like stickers he can wear, staying up an extra 15 minutes, he gets to pick the lunch or dinner menu one day, a food treat. Make food treat rewards rare so he doesn’t associate all treat food with happiness leading to binge eating when he’s sad.
Make sure you are getting enough sleep, at least an hour to yourself once a week, eat as healthy as you can and take your vitamins. Practice meditation, pregnancy safe yoga, make use of the mental health hotline (988 in the U.S.). This helps me with self control and calming:
Take walks together with your son outside, in nature if possible, and go to religious services or events together to feed your soul. Listen to sounds/music that calm you. But maybe if you’re mad, challenge your son to a dance-off with crazy music. Or see what ridiculous faces you can each make.
Grow your “village” of family and friends who can give you a break once in a while.
Read advice columns/books, listen to podcasts, etc. about raising boys for ideas & hacks. Teach him skills so he can amuse himself for at least 15 minutes at a time. Books, crayons, paints, Pla-Doh, Duplos, etc.
Remember he clings and wants your attention all the time because he loves you so and craves your approval. And it’s a scary world out there sometimes and you are his safe space.
But we all yell and wish we could be rid of our kids just for a while so we can de-stress. We all make mistakes and hurt our kids’ feelings because we’re human, and you’ve got hormones and extra tiredness from pregnancy to contend with too! Cut yourself some slack.
Is dad in the picture? Do you have play dates? I find two kids can entertain each other so your child doesn’t have to be on top of you all the time.
Write your blessings in a journal and look at them often. Cultivate optimism and happiness. Sometimes it takes lots of practice. Be thankful for every little thing you have: your 5 senses, clean air and water, a smart phone, good friends, maybe one ir both of your parents are still alive, you have food, clothing, and decent shelter with indoor plumbing, heat and possibly air conditioning, hopefully good doctors and a healthy pregnancy.
All of us are cheering you on today and every day! 
