Hi moms, today at my daughter’s one-year appointment, I told her ped about how she still has about one, sometimes two feedings at night, and her ped suggested we wean her from nighttime feedings because she is afraid she will form cavities on her teeth at a young age. She cosleeps and is breastfed but her daddy and I wanted to start gently sleep training soon, anyway. Anyone have any tips for this? Maybe some tips on a gentle sleep training approach as we are not fans of the CIO method. Any advice welcome, please no judgment. We are first time parents and are new to this kind of thing.
26 Likes
You could try putting her in her crib for naps first. Once everyone gets comfortable with that then just try nighttime. I continued to nurse just before bedtime just to make the transition a little easier for baby.
2 Likes
Start out with naptime by putting her in her own bed. Then work to sleeping her in her own bed at night once she is taking a nap in her bed and not having an issue
2 Likes
I kept a baby brush or a wash cloth and a cup of water mixed with a little baby tooth paste next to my bed, I’d dip it and brush/wipe her teeth after feeding. Real quick and simple. You could literally use a toddler tooth brush and water, or just brush before bed and first thing in the morning and she’ll be fine. My kids are 4 and 5 now no cavities ever and I used both ways. I personally see more babies with bottle rot rather than from breastfeeding. Focus behind the front teeth and on flat surface of any back teeth. Also don’t give and soda or juice and candy, and definitely not before bed. After eating junk food or “treats” brush teeth even if only with water during the day. Usually it’s not the breast milk but the other things they eat or drink. Also your diet is critical, eat less sweets and lots of water and veggie and wholesome foods.
Try rocking her to sleep first then laying here in crib. When she wakes, don’t rush in as soon as you hear her stir, now I’m not saying wait till she’s purple crying or anything, but if it’s just some light fussing give her a little time to see if she may with through it on her own. Most likely in the beginning she won’t, and that’s fine! When you do go in if she’s not super upset, try just laying her down and patting her back to sleep without actually picking her up. If she doesn’t go for that obviously hold and console her, get her back to sleep, and do it all over again. It’ll probably be a slow process, but the transition will be to get her from co-sleeping completely, to sleeping in the crib with many wake ups but being able to be put back into the crib when back asleep, to being able to not have to held everytime she wakes up and patting being enough, to eventually soothing herself through most wake ups. Just be patient with her and yourself, don’t give up, and expect a few set backs
This is an excellent group for sleep training. There are a ton of options and this group is very supportive and informative.
1 Like
Controlled crying worked well for my 4. You put the baby down in the crib and then go where baby can’t see you. When baby starts crying hit start on a timer set for 3 minutes. When timer goes off go pick your baby, comfort them for 1 or 2 minutes, and then put them back down and repeat.
Slowly bump up the time you wait. After an hour bump up to 5 minutes. After another hour or so bump up to 10 minutes.
If after a couple hours he isn’t starting to self soothe and in real distress stop wait a month or so and try again.
Doing it this way baby learns to self soothe and that just because they cannot see you does not mean you are gone. It teaches them if they cry for you that you will come.
That being said before I began the process I started warming them up for it. Naps on their own and when they roused I would wait an extra 60 seconds before getting up to get them. At night I would an extra minute before getting them as well. We had them in our room but not in our bed so that made that easier for us. If you all Co sleep in the same bed maybe set up a pack and play or portable bassinet in your room and try getting baby to sleep in that first for at least part of the night might help.
All four of mine were sleep trained within a 2 or 3 days and they actually slept better after and were happier babies after. I hope this method works for you, but if it doesn’t there a lots of different ways to go about it. Hope you find the way that’s best for you and baby.
1 Like
Will she take a bottle or sippy with water? My son is having a hard timr and hes almost one and ive started to try to judt give him a bottle with water. She might just be thirsty and not hungry. Feed her and grt her tummy full and give her a lavender bath everynight and a massage before bed. I do put my son to bed with a bottle but try water when she wakes up. I hope this helps
We did cosleeping with my son and when I eventually weened, I actually slept on the couch 
we found out that if mom wasn’t in bed when he woke up that he was fine going back to sleep, but if I was there he’d push to eat. So I slept on the couch for a few nights and let my husband take the reigns and when I eventually started sleeping with them again we made sure to have a water bottle full of water for him if he were to wake up. It took a little bit but he eventually started just drinking water and quit asking to feed at night. Also lots of snuggles and his pacifier helped to curb the mid sleep fussiness when he wanted to eat.
If you’d like to avoid sleep training and use a different approach look into They Beyond Sleep Training Project Facebook group. They have great advice and offer alot of support.
My son is 2 and still sometimes wakes for milk during the night. We just make sure to brush his teeth before bed and after breakfast.
We did cosleep for awhile and now he usually starts the night in his own bed and comes into us for a cuddle around 4am and sleeps a few more hours.
You can also try offering water at night instead of milk and see if that helps. Sometimes that works for my son, others he just wants milk.
Just try out putting her in there, feed her and put her to bed. I co-slept with mine and she would still wake 2 to 3 times, the first night she woke up a couple times but I’d just go feed her and she’d go back to sleep. She’s been sleeping in her room for 3 months, and she sleeps through the night now. She actually wont sleep with me at all now
I’d start with weaning the nighttime feed and then move on to sleep training, trying to do both at once would be a lot for any age to take in.
For what it’s worth, I nursed both of my children at nighttime. My son was 2 & 1/2 when he weaned & he didn’t have cavities until he was like 4 or 5 yrs old (he’s 6 now.) My daughter is 3 & only nurses herself to sleep & has no cavities yet… 
I co sleep 8 month old j we cries give him q ninky or two sucks from q bottle right back asleep period.
We don’t let our daughter go to sleep in our bed. We lay her on the couch beside us until she goes yo sleep or sometimes rock her if she is having a bad day. She 1st slept in our room in her playpen/bassinet. I started by taking her into her room and letting her lay in her bed and we explored. Lights on lights off, her little noise machine/light machine elephant on. Then the next week we added one nap a day in her bed. Then all naps in her bed. And now after about 5 weeks she sleeps in her crib usually from 9pm to 4 or 5am.
We had a very similar issue, and still do at 18M (but it’s getting better). My son still wakes up throughout the night, especially during growth spurts, teething, and sleep regressions. During those times he still wants milk in the middle of the night. I recommend not rushing things, and gradually setting goals. If that means starting out with putting her in her own sleep space, but keeping the midnight feedings, then start with that. I recently got my son to start sleeping in his own bed, instead of with me (as he’s done since 4M). Once he got the hang of sleeping by himself, I started avoiding the midnight feedings by trying to ignore him (as hard as that is!!). I make sure he has a teething toy or his lovey in his bed, and usually all it takes is a little fussing and playing before he eventually falls back asleep. It took some time, but we’re getting there. Of course, there are still nights where he desperately needs something to drink. You can also try offering water instead of milk. If you start with small goals, it’ll be easier for everyone involved! We just found that getting used to sleeping alone was harder than eating all night. 
So, maybe start by trying to get her to sleep on her own, then work on the late night feedings. It may mean laying her down and letting her fuss for 15 mins, then checking on her and giving her cuddles, then leaving for another 15 mins. Eventually she’ll learn to self-soothe without feeding . In the meantime, just make sure you brush her teeth as often as possible! I actually keep a toothbrush handy on the changing table, so whenever I’m changing my son I give him his toothbrush. I do the heavy work twice a day, and during diaper changes he tries himself!! It works for us. 
I gave my daughters a bottle of water in their bed at night so if they got thirsty they could drink no milk or juice just water water no cavities
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your daughter getting a feeding at night. As for her teeth just make sure that you brush her teeth daily. My granddaughter gets a night feeding every day at the age of 3. And for the record she has excellent teeth. Her dentist cannot believe the beautiful teeth that she has. Good luck Mommy. Remember…she will not stay little forever.
3 Likes
The only thing I really suggest is no matter what you try be consistent and patient and loving
Give a bottle of water, she will realize it’s not waking up for.
When my son was 6months I started getting him to sleep in his own crib. It was hard. He would eat from his bottle and I’d rock him to sleep then place in the crib. Sometimes he’d cry and the moment id pick him up, he quit. So then I laid him back down and have stay in the crib. For us, it took a few weeks but eventually it worked
1 Like
I would suggest moving her to her own room. I know how hard that can be on momma and baby but you and her will both get better sleep in the long run as well as you and your spouse need that time. Good luck!
4 Likes
All of my babies coslept. 2 were breastfed and 2 were bottles. Some woke up in the night up until 2 for bottle or to nurse. They were never under or over weight. They all were in their own beds by 2 on their own and transitioned fairly easily. I let them do it at their own speed. Every baby is different and every mama is different. Do what feels right to you. No answer here is right or wrong. Sometimes my kiddos still wake up if they dont feel well or have a bad dream and will climb into bed with me. Not very often. They are now 13, 10, 8, and 7. Your doing just fine and you know what’s best for you and baby.
1 Like
The american pediatric association lists co- sleeping as high risk for SIDS. Next child do not risk their safety because you dont want to get up an feed them. Put them in a bassinet or crib in your room. No blankets pillows stuffed animals etc. Dress them in a terry cloth sleeper. They will be fine. They learn to sleep alone an do fine. A little cereal at bedtime an they sleep longer or thru the night. Sorry to be critical or negative. A subject I feel strongly about because a family aquaintance fell asleep on couch with 3 month old. Baby got pushed down inbetween cushions an he was on top of him an he suffocated. A friends teenage daughter years ago put her baby in bed with her. Somehow he got positioned face down on a pillow an was so young the muscles in his neck were not stong enough to turn his head out of the pillow indention. He suffocated as well. Not worth that risk.
2 Likes
I hate to burst the happy mommy bubbles, but some kids just need something to eat during the night! My daughter woke up every morning between 2:30-3:00 am I’d feed her something, give her a drink and she’d go right back to sleep. When her brother was a week old he was sleeping through the night, she was 2 and still getting up! I started putting her snack and drink in the fridge and she started getting it herself. My daughter turned 40 this year, she still gets up and has a snack every night! Some kids just need that nighttime snack.
12 Likes
I started by taking the side out of his crib and putting it between me and the wall. My son felt like he was still in bed with us but was in his own space. Then slowly moved it across room and down to his room. Then swapped for a twin size bed. My bed and crib were level and wall kept it pushed together so there was no gap.
1 Like
Let her nap in her crib in her room to get used to it then move to nights. My daughter didn’t start sleeping through the night until she was in her own room. There is no point in trying to be gentle and take it slow. Just do it. She will learn and she will adapt
I rocked mine to sleep then put them in their own bed. As for nursing, she doesn’t need it at night except for as comfort. So nurse till asleep and back into her own bed. Might take awhile to sleep all night, but as long as she is in your bed with you and can just turn and nurse she’ll take even longer.
1 Like
Don’t feed out of habit if she is waking up try singing her back to sleep. You’re definitely going to have to do one at a time. First try to get her to sleep thru the night then try sleeping in different rooms. For future children Co sleeping is not recommended. It would prevent this issue in the future.
We found when we moved the babies to their own rooms at night, everyone slept better. We moved them all at 1 to 2 months. Just put them to bed in their own crib and they slept through the night. I would just try putting her in her own room. Make a big deal of it if she knows what’s going on. Ours were little enough we put them to bed asleep yet.
4 Likes
My son is 9 years old and still sleeping in our bedroom. I’d do it now before it gets chronic like ours has.
Agree with cereal comments!
Started my son on cereal as infant and breastfed until 1y.o. I know the docs say no now but they said no to us as well, but our parents did it and we are fine. Just be smart about amount you give for the age. It only takes a lil.
Only gave him the tip of a baby spoon to start but increased after time.
A warm bath, make sure to dress in the warm bathroom. warm jammies and milk with a lil cereal fills the tummy and puts them to sleep after a good burp and a soft song! A music box or soother for the crib or room also helps lull them to sleep.
BTW, babies crave routine! Keep the same schedule as often as you can. Life happens, so don’t stress, ENJOY! TIME WILL PASS QUICKLY!
5 Likes
One year olds should be on a cup…no bottles at night.
3 Likes
Yes, a breastfed kid can develop what is known as bottle rot. I’d suggest breastfeeding before bed/brush teeth before bed. If she wakes at night offer a cup of water… she’s likely just thirsty.
1 Like
Breastfeeding will not cause cavities!!! Formula feeding might. Your child’s doctor isn’t educated on extended breastfeeding.
3 Likes
The busier they are the more they sleep through the night that’s how we did it. Just keep them busy busy busy and they are so tired they sleep all night …
Good luck
Co- sleeping is so dangerous
2 Likes
This is why we never co slept. Baby started out in its own bed and we just had to move the baby to their room when they outgrew the bassinet.
Always curious, why can’t we respond directly to the person asking these questions on this site??? Is this some type of anonymous site? Just curious,
Hate to say it but yall worry to much babies are resilient. Right from the hospital into their own crib in their own room agree with the cereal comments as far as waking to eat we always used the if they are hungry/thirsty they will eat. Let em they’re babies
6 Likes
Maybe a little rice cereal at bedtime with a small cup of breast milk.
3 Likes
If she’s 1 yr old n still breast feeding she needs something more substantial in her tummy real food not milk your starving her in a form
2 Likes
She’s waking up bc hungry give her a bottle
1 Like
Water at night after a year old. Gives them the security plus hydrates but won’t root teeth. Start with 1/4 juice with 3/4 water for taste then get to 100 % water.
What if you give the little one a little rice cereal before bed
1 Like
We are doing this now with mixed success. We bought a warmie. Its a stuffed animal you put in the microwave. We nuke it, lay it int he crib to make a warm spot, nurse or rock him ALMOST all the way asleep then but him in the crib with his warmie to lay beside him. He has went from waking every 2 hrs to every 4. He would do longer if he would eat food but he is a ninny man lol He does not care much for food and rejects formula and cereal right out. I’d love to sleep thru the night but he has no teeth yet so maybe its hard for him? IDK he’s 9 mths.
2 Likes
I had to move mine to his own room and blacken out the windows. Very first night he slept all night and has ever since.
Get her out of your bed is a start. Believe it or not, she will survive. Also, wean her to a cup
Please, no CIO!! She wakes up because she is hungry. I agree with the cereal approach. Solid food, even semi-solid takes longer to digest so she stays satisfied and comfortable longer. Letting her cry just makes her more uncomfortable. She may fall asleep from exhaustion but she will still be hungry.
Third breastfed baby here… sleep training not going well. But if someone hasn’t breastfed they don’t really understand that babies aren’t waking to nurse because they are hungry. More times than not it’s a comfort thing!! My third baby has been the worst with comfort nursing 
I blame it on 2020, but nonetheless. Does your daughter have an attachment item? Is there a small stuffy or blanket she likes to cuddle? If she does, it can be easier to teach her to self soothe.
-
Try time in the crib that’s not sleep time. This gets her used to being in it. Can put in crib with a toy while you fold laundry in the same room or sit and read to her or whatever… increasing this time slowly allows her to get comfy.
-
Does she nap in the crib/bed? This would help greatly in nighttime.
-
Create a routine. Even her routine now but then add the transition to her bed in. It will take a few nights, and some sleep loss, but eventually they get it.
Hopefully you’re a lucky one whose baby just transitions without issues!! My oldest literally co-slept until he was 11… my middle never slept with me, and my youngest (now 10 months) is about 70% in our bed and 30% in crib.
4 Likes
She’s old enough to be eating solid food. Feed her some baby cereal mixed with breast milk and maybe a little fruit before bed. Keep her on a steady routine and don’t mix it up. Keep lights off or dim play quiet music. Put her to bed drowsy but not asleep. Yes she might fuss a bit but she’ll learn to soothe herself to sleep. I never co slept with my kids. Not a habit I wanted to start. Also white noise works wonders to drown out other sounds that might wake her up.
2 Likes
I would have dad give her a bottle with breastmilk in it and then put her to bed in the crib. Also maybe a bath or just playing in the tub might wear her out. I would try feeding her more at dinner or even a snack before bed to curb the hunger at night in the middle of sleeping.
2 Likes
Baby should also be eating solid foods. Full bellies always help. Read a book to baby. Depending on babies bed time schedule you have for baby it should have dinner bath then a bedtime with a book. Cereal in the formula is a good idea but baby should also have fruits and veggies and some baby meats. I have had both my kids on gerber graduates also 20 and 5 years of age. They were sleeping through the night by time they were 6 months but they also had full bellies
1 Like
Co sleeping is not a problem if mom( or mama)are light sleepers. I co slept wit my three boys 2 foster babies and 2 grandkids. I wake up at the slightest movement or sound.
2 Likes
I am an d mother but I started my kids early on cereal at night with their formula. When they are not hungry they sleep better. My kids were completely off of baby food at 9mths. They are all now adults and have never been fussy eaters.
1 Like
What is your goal for sleep training? Get her in her own bed, or simply getting her to stop feeding at night? If you’re trying to get her in her own bed, maybe start with nap time sleeps in her bed, just to get her used to sleeping somewhere other than your bed. Or maybe have a pack n play in your room and have her sleep there instead of in your bed. If we’re talking about just dropping the nighttime feeding while still cosleeping, enlist dad. I’m assuming baby sleeps between you, so maybe when she wakes, he can roll her over to his side and try to soothe her back to sleep (so she’s not automatically going to you and trying to nurse). Just remember it will NOT happen overnight, it’s liable to take weeks, so keep going and stay consistent with her.
I coslept until my daughter was 2. She went to bed with a sippy so if she woke she could get it and self soothe herself. Then I put her big girl bed in my room next to my bed. I’d rock her to sleep and then put her in her bed. She would wake in the middle of the night and end up in my bed but it has lessened and lessened. I finally put her bed in her room and still hold her until she goes to bed then put her in her own bed. She’s 3 now and sleeps through the night in her own room and gets up around 7 am and comes into mommy’s bed to wake me up
Make sure she has a nice full belly at bedtime. And you may have to switch to a bottle. You could pump and still give her breast milk, but a different delivery method may help break her of nighttime feeding. It worked with my first baby.
Start by putting her bed in your room. Let her fall asleep in bed with you, then move her. After a bit start moving her when she is almost asleep. Then you can start putting her in her bed to fall asleep whike sitting beside her. Once she is used to falling asleep in her bed you can move it to her own room. Then sit with her as she goes tonsleep for a while. Its gonna be a long process but its a good way to ease her intonit
Full belly before bed time by eating some baby oatmeal. This helped me to remove the night time feedings.
Then move on to sleep training but really they both go hand in hand.
I would start with day naps in the bed you want to transition her to, that way its not so scary for her, then I would add something of yours, if pj shirt anything with your scent, and about the feedings at night, you are her mommy you know what your child needs, no amount of education can trump a mothers instinct
My son is almost 2, also breastfed and cosleeps. Well, he actually has his own crib but it’s in our room and he ends up in bed with us every night. Anyways, up until about 6 mos ago, he was still waking for milk in the middle of the night. I finally just told him that I wasn’t going to give him milk until the sun was up. He cried for the first couple of nights, but now he’s fine with it.
My first son, was very similar. I was a new parent, and wanted to do everything perfect. My little guy struggled to sleep through the night. I was doing the same thing, with the exception he was in his own nursery. I finally had my pediatrician tell me I had to be firm and set boundaries. She shouldn’t need night feedings at one year old. They typically stop needing night feedings between 4 and 5 months. She’s not hungry, she’s looking to be soothed and pacified. I can tell you, it will continue as long as you allow it. I tried all the sleep training methods, and I always gave in, and found myself up multiple times a night almost until he was 2. It was so hard on me. He struggled to self soothe, and hearing him cry for an extended period of time broke my heart, I always caved and gave in. What you have to understand, she NEEDS the independence that soothing herself will bring her. She might not like the process at first, but in the long run, she will be a much happier and well rested baby. We ended up having to use the cry it out method… and guess what… it worked!!! You have to stick to it. It may be a few nights, but you will see improvement as the nights go on. I promise you, her crying will not hurt her. She won’t be emotionally damaged. She may scream, for what feels like an eternity, but you and she will be okay. It’s harder on you than her, I promise. I would also suggest she have her own room or her own space to sleep. Make it cozy. Make it her space. Eventually you’ll be able to lay her down in her crib while she’s still awake at bedtime, and she will be able to fall asleep easily, sleep all night, and get the rest she needs. It’s worth it!!! You have to have a pep talk with yourself in the mirror, you have to be stronger than her will. I promise you, it’s something I wish I had done sooner.
Try water in the bottle at night instead of milk. I co-slept with my youngest daughter and she didn’t leave my room until she was 8. At that point it was hard to get her out. She would wake up and either crawl in my bed. Sleep on the floor next to the bed, if my door was shut she would sleep at the door. I felt so bad. She was extremely attached to me and at 12 still is. If you are putting the baby in their room get a chair and start next to the bed and every few nights move it further from the bed until you see out the door. Keep up the good work Mama. You are doing great:)
No harsh judgement - everyone does their best. No matter what changes you decide to make at this point, just remember that your daughter has only ever known night feedings as they exist now. You are going to be met with a GREAT deal of resistance, and if you want to make the change stick, be prepared to be very strong in your resolve - and to be tired. But consider it practice for the hard choices later in life when you teach her right from wrong. I wish you the best of luck - stay strong!
We started putting our little girl in the crib for naps. Going to sleep and waking up in a familiar place while it isn’t dark can help them adjust. First one nap and then the second. Also we had a star projector for the ceiling that slow got lighter and lighter.
My apologies but I don’t know what CIO is… So I hope I’m not recommending that… My baby is 28yrs old so I didn’t try any new method but…my grandbabies are on sleeping schedules and have worked great…its from a website if you want I can ask for that website but Im guessing Google may help you if you try to look for it on your own.
Put her in the bed and let her sleep.
2 Likes
Switch to water at night
First step is coming up with a bedtime routine (which if feeding is the issue, make sure the baby is eating something filling before bed) and setting up a crib next to your bed. It is going to be rough… but fallow the routine EVERY night. Make sure your room is dark and quiet. Once your baby is sleeping well in the crib alone, you can move it to a different room, but be prepared to lose a lot of sleep in the beginning.