Newly engaged and needing advice

Remember that when you’re in a fight, it’s not you against him. It’s you AND him against the problem.

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Learning each others love language is super important

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Talk about the little stuff. Like wat temp it should be in home etc lol

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Realistic expectations!

Don’t make assumptions, keep expectations reasonable and make all communications clear and unambiguous. If something is bothering you, don’t let it stew. Understand arguments happen and aren’t the end of the world. Don’t do anything you would get mad at the other person for doing.

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Will send you a sympathy card for your wedding.

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When things they do really start to upset you, ask yourself one question. If they died, would you miss it?

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You have your quirks and so will they, always be open for conversation and compromise, your a team at all times NEVER against each other :purple_heart: congratulations on your engagement dear :purple_heart:

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Never, and I mean never, share a bank account.

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My favorite quote to live by in marriage: Make sacrifices and make them generously. :heart:

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Make sure you guys pick up after yourselves bcuz neither is each other’s maid. Like be Vocal/agree that to throw away own junk food bags(chips/cookies/unfinished food)/pick up own messes & help with chores(so many people were raised to be slobs & unappreciative). To wash own dishes or take turns washing dishes. Both should do laundry and not leave dirty clothes lying around. If you keep the place tidy it’s a lot easier to clean. Also it’s more fun when both partners cook together,play music while doing that cuz it’s great bonding time.

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Choose your battles. Not everything is worth fighting over. But set boundaries and limits. Expectations. You’re not each others parents. You’re partners. You’re not gonna love everything they do.

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Share the bills…but don’t have joint anything…treat each other with live xnd respect…keep your problems , issues, arguments between the two of you…dont keep secrets…

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Ask your yourself if this will matter in 3 weeks… if not, let it go. Also get your own tube of toothpaste :wink: you are on the same team… you were raised in different homes - ask/discuss, don’t assume.

The hardest thing for me was constantly being questioned about my spontaneous runs to Target. “Where are you going? Again?” Lol

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Have your own checking account…

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They’ll drive you crazy :joy:. On a serious note, communication is good. Always talk things out.

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Pick your battles. I think this is a huge one most people don’t get.

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Unplug the modem :rofl::sweat_smile::rofl:

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Good thing you’re just engaged. Don’t start making solid wedding plans until you’ve lived together at least a couple yrs.

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Separate tubes of toothpaste

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Remember that first year living with someone can be hard. Learning their quirks and finding out different habits of theirs that might not be your favorite. Just be open and honest and choose your battles wisely.

Compromise, choose your battles, be the partner you want them to be first before you set your expectations for them. Let nitpicky things go. Talk things out, make sure you both do chores around the house.

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Don’t try and change the other person. It will NEVER work.

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Just be kind to each other and stay friends.

Run, don’t do it. You might not be the same way but I don’t like to be questioned about what I did and where I went and who I talked to. I think it’s being too nosey

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Daily Patience
Daily Forgiveness
Yours, mine, & our bank accounts
Honesty
Pick your battles if it isn’t a deal breaker let it go
Plan date nights as well as ME time

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Remember, you both have your own ways of doing things. Anything today you find cute will irritate you in five years. If it irritates you now, in five years it will make you crazy. Learn to get over it.

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Don’t!!! Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Men need a challenge and a reason to be a man. If he’s not willing then you’ll are not available. No games just facts

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If something small is bothering u talk about it asap don’t let it build up. Discuss any problem with each other and not outsiders. Never go to bed angry always communicate the day with each other and strive to do better together each day. This is a long and fruitful journey you are on and you have to be partners, it’s not always 50/50 sometimes you have to pick up slack for each other and that’s OK but if u find urself feeling like u are the one making all the effort speak on it. It’s not always gonna be hard. those good days are what u live for but those bad moments help build ur life. Treat Each day as a blessing and wake up each morning asking urself what you can do to make your partner smile and feel appreciated. Congratulations on a long and prosperous union. May your life be filled with joy and when it’s not may u have the strength to push threw and come out stronger together.

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Listen to each other
Everyone needs their space at times
Talk about what temperature you want it to be at
Figure out bills and how you guys are paying them (you pay some, they pay some, put all money 50/50 etc)
FIGURE OUT A CHORE LIST! Who does what, what day etc trust me that’s most of our fights (lived together for 3 years before marriage)
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, mentally, physically, emotionally.
Make time for each other, not just cuddling on the couch but going out and doing something
Fav quote from a song I try to live by…
“Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don’t outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin’ knees get lazy
And love like crazy”

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Etitique says It’s the man who asks the woman. And, its the woman who sets the date. So…did you set a date yet?

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Set boundaries and be firm with them!! Make sure that ground rules regarding bills, cleaning, etc. are established and upheld and if they’re not speak up!! Don’t compromise your happiness just to “keep the peace.”

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If you feel you really must get married. Be prepared for the fact that its not easy. You dont know someone till you live with them and you will both change in years to come.
If id known myself back then as I do now id never have married …the only things I dont regret are my kids

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Plan how chores and finances will be handled. Are you going to split finances 50/50? Are you going to put everything into a joint account, keep separate accounts, have separate accounts and a joint account for shared expenses (my recommendation.) Never go to bed with out saying “I love you” even after you just had a fight. Expect things to change as you settle into life together. Communication is the most important thing, men think different and will often misunderstand what you are trying to say, or he may say something you will take wrong before fighting about what was said figure or a way to explain it better or differently.

Should probably move in before getting married. You really don’t know a person until you have to live with them. Communication goes a long ways. If something they do is bothering you just tell them. Pick and choose your battles wisely no need to argue over the littlest things 24/7. Probably should talk about how you’re going to handle bills and whatever else right away. Compromising also goes a long way. Good luck

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Divide household chores equally right away. This is a huge one!
Communication is the key to healthy and happy relationships.
Don’t sweat the small stuff but don’t let yourself get taken advantage of.
Pool all the money and pay all the bills out of the same account. Sit down and work out finances together on a regular basis. Ask eachother before making a purchase that is more than what you have both decided is more than normal.
Treat eachother with respect.
Go on dates often.
Work at your relationship every single day.
Don’t forget to continue to do the little things…like leaving love notes for eachother, spending quality time together.

Always keep separate bank accounts just incase something happens- one never knows :blush:

The first few years may be tough. Don’t give up. If you love each other it will get easier. It happened for us after about 7 years. I’m so glad we stuck it out!!

Stephanie Campbell :see_no_evil::rofl:

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Simple: don’t start washing his clothes…it will go down hill from there…lol. really … you don’t want to be a full time maid

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It’s going to be the most hardest thing you have done. You both have to get used to the way you both do things, both of your annoying little habits

Number One Rule: Don’t let outside opinions in to your relationship.
Talk with your significant other only. Discuss things even if they are small things. Don’t hold anything in. And when discussing something that bothers you do not have an attitude until it is required. Don’t be scared to have conversations. Be open as possible. But mostly don’t take advice from others unless you are 100% sure you can’t handle it yourself and even then take everything said very carefully before using any advice from others.
Just be with your person and enjoy life. And just be Open.

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Discuss expectations. Realized and unrealized !

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Are u engaged to a man? Heads up … they’ll never be able to find annnnything … even when u tell them exactly where it is :joy: … even if it’s right infront of them

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Have expectations set clearly before you move in. Discuss everything that bothers you both and always be prepared to compromise

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Carla Marie Goncalves isnt this the truth! My fiance usually finds it when i tell him exactly where it is but theres always those times when i tell him ti look somewhere and he does and cant find it and i look and its right there :joy::joy::joy: we just laugh it off though

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My advice is talk about finances up front that’s a big deal breaker for a lot of people. My fiancé and I have a set plan and it works for us. Also, if you guys have kids from previous relationships discuss how u plan to discipline them and if you will be disciplining the others child. My fiancé and I help each other with everything so house hold chores have never been an issue. I help him outside he helps me on the inside.
One role I’ve learned is it’s okay to go to bed mad. Sometimes you need to sleep on it and save each other the hurtful words.
Know what battles to pick but don’t hold it in until you explode and it turns into a big fight.all in all you guys have to find what works for you. But living together you will find out alot about a person.

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Best thing to do is talk to you’re significant other. Everyone does things differently.

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Before marriage talk about IF you want kids, how many, how do you want to raise your kids, Bill’s. Think now before moving in together who will pay for what? Joint or separate bank accounts? Will all Bill’s be split down the middle 50/50. Now is the time for a lot of good communication. My advice is to talk to each other about everything. Know what each of you want and expect in life.

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Lay down your expectations of eachother! And talk about how finances will fall.

Don’t go to sleep mad!
Keep God first.

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Tips? It’s hell on earth. Good luck.

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Congratulations on your first child!!!

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make sure he uses his own toothbrush

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Respect each other,make sure there’s no bosses but equal partners don’t try to change each other and always talk things through

Never go to bed angry.
Always kiss goodnight, before work, after work, as much as possible.
Be patient with each other.
Always communicate about everything.
Respect.
Tell the truth.
Lots of sex.
Date nights are a must.
And last one which I love my husband has done it the last 9 years is he sends me a super sweet text every morning before he starts work. Starts my day off feeling super loved!
Congrats to you both! Marriage is great but also takes lots of work on both ends!

Be an active listener
Put your partner first (even before kids)
Make time for sex end dating
It’s okay to go to bed angry -sometimes you need to sleep on it. You will stay up all night trying to sort it out
That argument may seem like the end of everything but it’s not
Praise in public and correct in private
Have relationship mentors that you all can go to
Keep your hurtful words and your hands to yourself
Discuss everything before (religion, finances, and chid reading)

You will fight and argue about dumb things, never go to bed angry with each other. It’s both of you moving into each others space, compromise is key. If something bothers you say something , don’t let it fester - little things build up into a whole argument that could’ve been avoided, at first it’ll be slightly hard because your used to having your space and their used to having their space, it gets better !

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Make sure you have your financial structure of your household and who pays what in order. Make sure you guys talk about who’s cleaning what. And make sure that you’re ready to handle another person in your space.

When either of you are talking about any issues make sure to let the other know if you’re just venting or wanting to solve the problem. It will save you from having sooooo many arguments

Be sure you can talk to each other. Talking is important. I have been married 44years and my husband and I can still talk to each other about everything.

Be the real you from the start

Remember you are fighting FOR each other not AGAINST each other

Keep everything open. Communication is key and make sure you pick and choose your battles. Stay silly😁

Keep communication a priority. Spend some time daily, weekly, etc. to talk about things that may be bothering each of you or potential problems. It’s so important to address those issues so they don’t build resentment.

They are new to this just like you! You can not expect anything unless you express yourself that you want things done this way or that way and vice versa. Y’all are not mind readers. Expect nothing just express how you like things done or what role you would like to play vs what role you would like him to play. Ei takin out trash, dishes or that you do things together when full or needing to be done. Don’t fight over small things but instead talk things over to express feelings about what ever the situation is! Don’t expect him to mop the floors when you don’t even ask, he’s not trained (haha sorry but ya know) to your needs at your home together yet and everyone plays roles in their home. They are now shifting for both of you! Do it together.

Tip: live with them before you get married to see if you can tolerate each other 24/7 lolz

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Lol Buy a townhouse and each live on your own side.

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Make sure you have your own hobbies and make time for each of you to have “me time.”

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Newly engaged and needed advice - Mamas Uncut

Set expectations! On housework and grocery shopping and everything in between

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buy the house next door…close enough, far enough away!

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Don’t sweat the small stuff and always talk about the big stuff.

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Be a team, work through things together, you don’t have to agree on everything but if you have the same life goals you’ll get there. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Count to 10 before you speak when you’re angry & think whether it’s worth it. If it’s not going to change anything, is it worth a row?
Communication is the key, talk about anything that’s bothering you so it doesn’t get to the stage you lose your temper.

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Talk, talk and talk some more, be prepared to forgive the little things, never forget you are you, and never, never accept bad behaviour, from cheating to violence.

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Always check bathroom before sitting lol

Try not to kill each other?

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Communicate and set boundaries!

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It’s a partnership you both need to help each other :blush:

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My husband said be tolerant​:joy::joy::joy:

If he wants a nosh, then give him one

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Try it first. Communicate and set expectations. Otherwise, it could be disaster in the waiting

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Newly engaged and needed advice - Mamas Uncut

If you don’t have kids yet, talk about how you want to raise your children…how you plan on disciplining them. Agree on a plan!

Just enjoy your lives together. You don’t need tios and advise girl. Respect and love each other. Thats it. Congratulations on your engagement!

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Just go with it. You will learn your on way. Congrats

For one remember that it’s not all peaches and cream. Don’t expect perfection and There’s nothing wrong with doing things for each other (cooking, cleaning etc.) but make sure it’s equal & your helping each other out. Seriously it’ll save you from so many arguments.

Lots of communication is key :heart:

Read the 5 Love Languages.
Even if you are not currently having issues, I believe everyone in a serious relationship should read this. Reading that will help you a ton so I won’t name everything I could list. But the biggest things are be open and honest. Refer to the book for the rest, I promise you won’t regret it​:wink::heart:

PS- I’m not a big reader, but this book saved my marriage.

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Make sure you discuss DETAIL your expectations for parenthood (or lack there of) and your finances. Finances are one of the main causes of divorce so you want to make sure you are both explicitly on the same page and have your future financial goals in mind BEFORE you say “I do”

Communicate. If something bothers you say something. Encourage your SO to do the same.

Some are going to gawk. SEPARATE BEDROOMS :joy:

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Communication with honesty is a great start. Always be your self. Remember don’t start doing something you don’t intend on doing forever :100:

It’s impossible to split house hold chores 50/50 100% of the time. One of you at some point will always be doing more than the other. HOWEVER, you both need to work as a team and not compete with one another on “who does more”. Def divide some chores for each of you but if and when one person needs that helping hand, the other needs to be ready, regardless of what the chore/project is.

Once you BOTH accept this, you will be happier. It doesn’t happen over night though. Keep talking things out when you’re bothered

Always have a secret stash of cash!

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Realize they may not change as much as you’d like or do thing’s your way. That’s not a bad thing for some but a deal breaker for others.

Don’t do it its a trap

Its give and take in most thing, just talk about it and share things. But don’t forget u should still have time to yourself with your own friend, just because ur in a relationship does mean u can’t do ur own thing.

Remember its still important to have your own time too!! Xxx