*No bashing* I feel unattached from my baby due to abuse from their dad: Thoughts?

I’m gonna tell you now, if you dont get help for your PP, the chance your child grows up ill adjusted magnified. Leave the relationship, get you some help for your lil one, and bond.
My son is about to turn 1. I’m just now really bonding with him. Not for lack of trying, just anxiety and PP kicking my in the vajayjay, my sons father was an ass to me the entire pregnancy. Telling me how it wasnt his kid (lol I knew he was his. He was the only man I was seeing and my son looks JUST like him) just mean and hateful. After i had him, i just didnt know how to feel. I had a boyfriend who was and still is the most amazing man I’ve ever met. We met when I was 2 1/2 m preggo and weve been together since. STILL no matter how amazing he is, i still had problems bonding with my son.

Ill take the baby :grin: just kidding but in all seriousness my daughters real dad is insane angry violent has severe anger issues and a horrible background with police and fighting and i see it in her sometimes but the deal is thats my baby and we work on it and she deserves the world. He may be a horrible man but my daughter is still my daughter and i will help her to fight through what she got from him. You just have to remember thats your baby and get away from him focus on you and baby

You know what? My son looks and acts just like his dad. His dad is a very handsome man thank God but he was physically and verbally abusive to me. I am teaching my son to be good man and I always talk about how great it is that he’s handsome like my ex husband but he’ll actually be a good man. Just raise your child right and it’ll be fine. :heart:

My ex husband was this way, i left him when my child was a little over a yr old and got sole custody. My son is nothing like him. Children tend to interpret what they see, CHANGE THAT!

Don’t wait to have the baby. Leave ASAP…see if there is a THRIVE in your area, it’s a pro-life group who may be able to help you or send you to folks that will. And, DO NOT put his last name on the baby’s birth certificate; Just say you DNK who the father is. It will save you a lot of trouble in the long term. If you can leave the area, state & get near supportive family all the better. Focus on you & the babies health, having a decent & good vehicle in your name only (you’ll need it in the long term), & getting as many services as possible especially a section 8. Unfortunately, if you have medicaid they will put you off of it 3 months after the baby is born. The baby will stay on it. Also, if you need work skills if you have enough time between now & when the babies due there are tons of intensive ‘skilled labor’ programs out there right now that are free. I’ve been in a horrible situation many, many years ago; I was stuck with him until my son was 3. It would be easier to do it all before the baby is born & it gives you a much better chance at bonding with your child; You both deserve better. God’s speed.

Definitely understandable.
Just remember that baby is innocent and pure.
And you have a say on how baby will grow up to be.
Do a better job.
Get counseling, leave the dad, heal the wounds before baby gets here and raise your son to be a better man than their dad ever was to you.
I never really felt attached to any of my pregnancies till near the end, mainly because I just hated being pregnant.
Everything changes once you hold your little baby.:heart:

I think it is. Kemal for some people. I was in a horribly abusive relationship with my second child’s father and I was not able to bond with him well at all. It was traumatizing for both my son and myself. I didn’t realize what was happening until I was able to finally break free but a lot of damage was done emotionally. He is 28 and we are still working on our relationship. When you are away from the abuse things change internally for you and that helps everyone around you

Hopefully you can reconnect because that baby does feel the emotions your feeling and that will cause the baby to come out like your baby’s dad. But there’s also that chance if you raise your child right then you shouldn’t have any issue at all. My oldest gave me hell but here we are and through being consistent and always correcting the bad behaviors he has changed tremendously

Pray that God will help that deepest part of your soul to reconnect and know that the devil is putting that one thing out there, don’t tell yourself that, tell yourself you will love that baby, cause it is the best part of you.
Be blessed, praying you will seek God’s help, and don’t be afraid to get counseling either.


Leave him and your bond will grow. But do it quickly

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I know you feel this way now. Chin up. Never let them see you down. As soon as they place that baby in your arms you will Never love a living soul as much as right then.

Remember not all men are the same. If your uncomfortable please leave. We only have one life. Live it to the fullest. Cut out the negativity. Do YOU!!!


You have post partum depression that has NOTHING to do with the abuse you’ve endured. It’s very common and nothing to be ashamed about but please seek professional help. Do not forget your baby is half you. Do not assume or predict your child will be like him. A child is a product of their environment. If you withhold love because of your resentment towards their father then you will be the one responsible for your child ending up with the same behavior as their father. But if you cherish and show your baby love then they will love. Nature vs. Nurture has been debated for a very long time. Yes there are examples where genetics do play a part in disorders but it’s been scientifically proven their environment and upbringing dictates what kind of human being they grow up to be. Please love your baby and get help. :pray::pray:

It does happen but once you realise that you can break the cycle and teach your son to be an honorable man, and once you hold him you will fall in love. I had 5 miscarriages before I had my son so I was waiting for something bad to happen my whole pregnancy so I never bonded with him in my tummy but once he was born healthy and I held him, he is my everything and more.

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Yes set free by awful thinking by Gods grace your son be sweet loving kind humble stay strong God will guide you and set your free amen

You’re allowed to have your feelings. But, your baby needs you so much! :heart: I can understand your struggle, because my daughter’s father was abusive, and she is my dear girl, but as she was growing up and exhibited some of his character traits, I just wanted to get as far away from her as possible. Invest in your baby - it WILL be the best investment you make. My girl and I are very close now, and I’m thankful for that. Please, for your sake and the baby’s, go see a professional to help you work through your feelings. The are real, and NO ONE should ever minimize them. But you are stronger than the moment - I’m sure of it! :two_hearts:

Why don’t you leave him what you waiting for him to make you lose the baby crazy

It think you’re distancing yourself…you’ve shut down a little emotionally numbed yourself. You need to get away from the dad and get some counseling.


Your baby will grow up the way you raise them. Plz don’t stay where there’s any kind of abuse

Why you didn’t detach from the father before becoming pregnant? That innocent child has nothing to do with his abuse. Try getting away from him and you and baby would be just fine.

I’ve gone through the same thing. But I’ve grown to love my son more and more everyday. He’s now 2 years old and though he can* act like his dad occasionally, he’s 98% me. My life would be over without him.

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That baby has nothing to do with how the dad is and as long as you are not subjecting the baby to the dad’s behavior, the baby will not grow up thinking it is ok to do those things. YOUR baby is an innocent baby and is born ready to be taught and molded into a loving and caring person. Pray about it and enjoy your pregnancy.


I think it is normal. I just hope that when you have the baby you will not feel like that anymore. I am concerned for you, definitely this baby and any other children you may have. Why are you putting up with abuse? If those maternal instincts don’t kick in and you don’t feel like you can protect this child please consider adoption. Please find a shelter or someone that can help you break away from this man. I have felt what you feel. Praying everything will work out and you will have a healthy baby. This child is part of you too. You will nurture and influence how he or she turns out.

Just love that baby…he’s not going be like the father…as long as you will show him love & care and he will grow up that way by surrounding him with your patience, love & care within your your home.


I felt the same I put him out 2 months ago and even though I’m pregnant and single I feel way more connected and excited about my baby boys arrival :heart:

Think you need lots of love and help, so does yyour children.

Disrespect and abusive behaviour are learned traits. Not hereditary. You can prevent your child from learning these unacceptable behaviours by preventing the child from witnessing it and by never allowing it.


Leave the dad and take the child with you and they won’t end up like him.


The baby is all the best parts of you too


Get counseling quick.

No, it is NOT normal and I would suggest that you seek counseling as soon as possible. You are experiencing “projection”. You are projecting your negative feelings about the father onto the “innocent baby”. One has nothing to do with the other. If you rear (raise) your child and teach the little one accordingly, he will not be like dad. Regardless, that little one is just as much of you as he is of him. Please get help.

Dump that freaking moron father fast