Is it normal to feel unattached from your unborn child after experiencing non-stop verbal abuse and occasional physical abuse from the father? I can’t stop thinking the child will grow up to be exactly like him, and I feel horrible for the feelings I’m having.
Your child didnt do any of that. As a mother, you need to realize that. That child wont grow up to be anything like that if you raise them not to be. Dont let the sins of the father be the burden on the child.
I did and you can pm me
No it’s not abnormal. I take parenting classes at my local pregnancy care center, if you’re concerned about hear feelings please contacts your doctor and talk to them. They will be able to help you. There are also lots of support groups for moms that you could look into. Prayers for the best!
It’s not your babies fault. Children learn what they are taught. Leave. For yours and babies sake. Baby won’t turn out like him but if you keep him around baby can end up being YOU not him.
You are most likely experiencing some postpartum depression but it is pretty common I suggest you call your doctor today and let them know they are there to help you
It’s not that babies fault. Leave the abuse, and raise your child to be good.
I was there. Remember the child is innocent. It will grow as the environment you raise it to be. Kinda like pit bulls. They aren’t born mean. You will grow to be protective and loving. And so will the innocent child. Join a mommy group too. That can help. Good luck.
Don’t feel bad. Abuse can really change a person and how they think. I know I needed some support afterwards to get back to me and a better way of thinking.
As for your child. I have a son and he’s so goofy, caring, and loving he’s nothing like the father. He’s everything that I put into him.
I’m sure your child will be like you
Take it one day at a time and just know you got this
If I tell you it is “normal” people are going to freak…
What i will say is: It is common for women who go through major stressors to feel detatched from baby and go through a depression.
Let your doctor know and find help. Even just simple counseling (which could be covered by Medicaid) could be a big help.
You and baby will be in my thoughts.
U gonn raise ur kid so its gonna be a blessing its not gonna be like the dad and once u see the baby u gonna fsll in love
I can absolutely relate to this. I did feel this way with one of mine because it was constant abuse from my significant other at the time.as well as at the beginning of this pregnancy I felt this way I was really ashamed but I had to cut all ties with him. I didnt think a mother could feel this way but it does happen. Remember to look and your baby and see how precious they are and how they have changed your life becahse that child is dependent on you and pray about it as well hold your baby close as much as you can even if you just talk or cry to them. I do alot and tell them your sorry tou feel that way but you love them so much and they have blessed you so much. Do this as much as you can i promise the bond will come.
How could you not feel that way - pain like that - esp from the father of your baby - has a way of making everything seem myopic. I suggest leaving him to give yourself and the baby a fresh start - the little one isn’t to blame and trust me it’s easier to do when they’re little. It’s not ideal - it’s not the dream but it is much easier. He won’t change - he’s shown you his true colors. Good luck
Leave the situation, protect yourself and your child. I know we over complicate relationships and make excuses but there are no excuses, it’s your job to protect the baby and you, make it simple. Leave leave leave.
Sounds like ptsd and post partum
Your baby is half you. You will raise him or her to be better, to be kind and loving. I would say, get into some therapy. Healing yourself will go far in helping you realize your baby isn’t him… your baby is innocent and will love you unconditionally.
I think it’s completely normal. I didn’t have the verbal abuse or anything out of the ordinary and I had absolutely no emotional connection while I was pregnant. Like at all. As soon as she was born I fell in love but you need to get away from that man!!
Your baby is innocent. He needs your love and affection. Feel that way towards the father not your baby. Love your baby.
Your feeling are absolutely valid. I suggest seeking therapy to start healing from that trauma.
If you’re still with the father my suggestion is to leave. If your child grows up watching that behavior he very well could grow up to be like that but if you get out now he should be fine. I would also go to see a therapist about what you’re feeling and going through. Your baby needs you to be strong and love him/her
Go get immediate counseling
You need to get your emotions sorted before Bub come into the world please seek help now
I went through a awful time with my sons biological father and his family
Just remember your baby didn’t ask for any of this either and he/ she needs you
Pm me if you would like to talk about it more x
That seems like a totally normal part of coping with your situation. Hopefully things will feel different once you can hold your little one. If you still have issues bonding, talk to your physician or a counselor or even a support group. Being able to give your child unconditional love and teach him to value and respect others will help your little one to grow up into an adult who loves others no matter what his father was like.
No I don’t think that’s weird at all. I went through a similar situation with two of my kids. My oldest was 6 at the time and my middle child was just born. Their dad, my ex, was a drunk, an addict, emotionally unstable, manipulative and verbally abusive to me. I personally had to get away from him and take the kids with me. Every situation is different though. I got over it. It took many many years and so many different techniques. I also had a very good support system from my family and friends. Think about what’s best for you right now bc what’s best for you is best for baby since he/she is unborn. That baby feels all your stress, anxiety and sadness which can be harmful on their little developing bodies. Take a step back. Do you deserve this treatment? NO. How will he act when that baby is born? Do you want to risk any of his negativity directed at that little baby? What if it turns into physical abuse? That baby has a great chance at not being anything like the father of the baby is not brought up around him if he won’t change. I left my ex when my middle child was 2 months old. I was a single mom with a 6 year old and a 2 month old. It’s not easy but it’s worth every freaking minute and moment bc now they both have become wonderful little men. My oldest is now 11 and my middle one is 5. They are nothing like their father. There are many resources out there to help moms. Not just your family and friends, although those are great places to start.
As long as you are there to guide the child to be kind, loving and caring, they wont turn out that way (some kids do turn out that way even with loving parents though, but most turn out to be great people)
Yes, that is horrible, imo. How are you going to project your hatred for your baby’s father onto him? That’s deplorable and you need HELP, right now!! If you do not get these feelings in check you will abuse that child, you are actually suffering from the abuse cycle yourself, you’re weaker than the father, and he abuses you, and the baby is going to be weaker than you and you are going to abuse him… that’s the trickle down effect of this type of mentality. Already looking for someone else to blame other than yourself or the father. To even think this way is mental instability. Get yourself mental help now! This isn’t a joke. What you just typed out is premeditated abuse.
Nurture vs. Nature. I get it though, it’s fucking hard. May I suggest counseling? The birth may come with an overflow of happiness and bonding, but it might not. A therapist wont just solve your complicated feelings, but having healthy coping skills will hopefully get you to where you want to be.
You need to go go counseling so you dont accidentally not take care of babe correctly because of this situation. You can do this mama just know they are not the same person that babe needs you and depends on you and loves you more than anything. Please go talk to someone
You need to talk to your doctor and get out of that relationship. There are resources and people who will help you. Your doctor can point you in the right direction. Do not be afraid to ask. It sounds like your going threw post partum.
I can’t tell you how it will end but take your foot out the door, leave that situation. If you are not healthy (physically or emotionally) your child won’t be either. What happens later is up to you. If you are still feeling what you are towards your baby so many people are there to help or even adopt. But if you don’t take care of yourself you can’t take care of anyone or anything. I come from the heart and the experience of dealing with the unimaginable.
You’re emotional. You’re clearly unhappy with every right. When they baby comes the focus will shift but for now I can relate to the feeling of unattachment. But leave. Get out of that relationship before you feel stuck. And you don’t want the baby to grow up like that so stand your ground and do what’s best for the 2 of you!! Best thing that ever happened to me! I’m making sure my kids don’t grow up like that
Also if you havent already leave the baby daddy. You deserve better.
You should go to counseling. Choose to break the cycle id not for yourself for your child. You are stronger than you think❤️
Listen. I get it. My baby daddy was awful and ended up kicking me out (I lived in my car for a week) when I was pregnant. I didn’t feel particularly great about things
And then when she was born she became my whole entire world. I’d do anything for her, and she’s my best friend.
Just let the feelings ride and feel them instead of pushing them aside. Youll work through it
I’m sorry… I agree with everyone else… get away… as soon as possible… ptsd… hormones… ppd…
I’ve been there, but never felt that way about my babies. I loved them more than myself. But that’s not to say how you feel isn’t valid, we’re just different people. My advice is to make a plan and leave. Tell him you’re going to the store and don’t return. You can call the police or dept of family and children’s services to find out how to get in touch with a women’s shelter and they’ll help you. You’ll have a place to stay and he’ll never know where you are. Think of that little one like he or she will be courageous just like mama was.
That’s totally normal and valid but you need to take the steps to get help.
So you have to change the situation
If you think the child will end up like that parent- it’s because you allowed this mindset. Children are products of what we teach them. Our genetics can show trauma, but if you teach appropriate coping mechanisms and healthy outlets, the cycle of abuse can end. But you have to make the decision to end it- expect more from yourself, don’t let anyone ever treat you that way again, and teach your child better
You need to leave with you baby. Seek counseling and raise your child not to be like their father. The reason your body is reacting this way is because your gut knows you need to leave now. You are a mother now and that baby is your everything for the rest of your life. That man is threatening the relationship you have with your baby and threatening his future. LEAVE
I can tell your feelings are normal, but go to counseling it will make the world of a difference!
Just so you know my dad was like that to my mother and I am nothing like him
When you have the baby your feelings may change
I grew up in foster care, suffered horrible abuse, my first adult relationship, also horrible physical, mental, and emotional abuse… not one time, not ever did I think to myself that I needed to distance myself or I felt disconnected to my unborn or infant children because of what someone else or multiple men did to me throughout my life?!? You can worry if the child may have characteristics of the father but, it is up to YOU to make sure your child(ren) grow up in an environment where they won’t be exposed to anything negative they can pick up or learn, an infant isn’t going to come out of the womb verbally or physically abusing you??? Infants and children are INNOCENT! How could you really already start disconnecting from a child that has no dog in this fight, has never harmed a soul and who didn’t ask to he brought into this world. If things are so bad why did you allow yourself to get pregnant by this man? Ask yourself that question and stop projecting on your unborn child!
I get it, I’ve been there… but when you see that beautiful, innocent face for the first time you realize it’s a completely different person. Feel what you have to feel for now but when you meet your buba, rest assured it will be a completely different of emotions and love xo good luck
I felt the exact same way. It wasnt until the moment she was born that I actually felt anything towards her. I remember even telling my mom, “I didnt think I was going to even love her, let alone this much!”…her dad is a narcissist who was abusive and from the moment I got pregnant he was 1000x worse and eventually left me 5 months pregnant. So I was depressed, resentful towards the baby. I didnt think I was going to ever feel anything for her. But she was born and now she is my absolute everything. I think what you are going through is normal. When your child is born, it will change. And if it doesnt, see a doctor for post partum. You are not alone.
Pack a bag, and get out.
Build a beautiful new life for yourself and child.
If you stay, it will only get worse
Don’t put yourself through that and more importantly, don’t put your baby through that. Give your baby a loving and calming home. I would move out and get into assisted living. There’s a lot of resources out there for single moms. Best of luck mama
I had the same feelings with my son. And it didnt go away until I was about 8 months pregnant. And I thought I was ok, until he was born and the doctors tried to hand him to me and I told them not to put him on me. I struggled with post partum at 4 months. But i got throught it. It wasnt easy but with some doctors visits, help from family to watch him while I gather myself was all helpful. Hes 9 months now and it is just now that I’m finding my full attachment to my son. But I’m grateful I found it at all. It took time but if you really want it to happen you’ll get there mama. Give yourself time. Things like this are very difficult to get throught but its definitely possible.
The baby may be half of the father, but it’s also half you. It’s your job to raise your child to be better, through nurture and love.
If you are worried about your baby doing what the father does get out. Dont let the baby grow up in that situation only you can change your life an how you choose to live it. An you know it is not good for the baby
Leave. Do not bring your baby into that toxic environment. Your child will either learn to be a bully or to think it is acceptable to be treated like that because you are allowing it by staying.
Get away from that “man”. What he is doing to you is not love, it is abuse.
- Your baby needs you!
- The father needs to realize that his behavior is not healthy and needs to seek help.
- You need to talk to someone to help you through this, abuse of any kind is unhealthy, if the child sees it through growing up-it is learned and then taught that it is ok because the other parent accepts it.
If the father doesn’t get help and makes things right you need to leave the relationship with the baby. Most important you still need to protect yourself and your baby and build that bond with your baby, find a strong support group of people going through the same things and talk and help each other. Best of luck to you.
Get away from him n never look back. The child will act the way “you” teach it to! Break the cycle. Teach your child to be loving, caring, intelligent, and respectful. Love your child no matter what. Babies are given a “blank slate.” U can fill it how u want.
First I’m sorry you’re going through the abuse. But remember just because the father is that way don’t mean the baby will be. But also if he’s doing this to you. Then most likely he will do the same to the baby. Get away from that man as soon as possible. He don’t deserve you or that baby. You and baby should be in a loving and caring environment. But you can be the only one that gives yourself and the baby that environment.
Talk to your doctor about it . The doctor will put you on meds for PP and just build a stable life for you and your baby . You can raise your child to be kind and be different than the father . It’s all about what your baby gets exposed to as your baby gets older .
If your not gonna treat them normally because of their dads abuse let them be adopted is all i have to say cause kids know when you dont love them!
Dont blame the baby for the dad. This baby will be raised by you, not him or whoever raised him. Your baby will be awesome!
And its normal not to feel attached to the baby while its in your belly. Some women arent even atrached at birth bc theyre so exhausted. But it will happen. Dont worry.
Normal, but the baby is your attachment to the abuser. But seek counseling the child is innocent.
I kinda understand. My nephew (who I now have custody of) sperm donor is an awful guy. I didn’t want to love my now son or have anything to do with part of his sperm donor. However, it didn’t work once I met Zee, he is my love and the most cuddling bug ever. Nothing like his sperm donor. BTW my baby is 10 now.
We all have demons in our head to work out but with love and encouragement your baby will be like you and not it’s sperm donor. I know a lot of people frown on therapy but it seriously helps. They will give you an honest outside views and help you with the trauma you have experienced.
I felt the same way with my daughter for almost a year after she was born. Also in an abusive relationship. I didn’t begin to bond with her until he went away for a year. So my advice to you it’s to remove yourself from that relationship so that you and your baby can be safe and loved. It’s worth it. Don’t wait.
I went through the same thing with my middle child except his Dad and I were separated from each other because he was a liar, cheater and he was both mentally and physically abusive and he came over the night before I was deployed to Kuwait knowing I was vulnerable and I was crying because I didn’t want to leave my 4 year old daughter and I told him I couldn’t sleep so he gave me what I thought was one of my prescription muscle relaxers and offered to stay and make sure I didn’t over sleep but I’m not sure what he gave me because 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant and I had a horrible time feeling connected to my son and I talked to a friend about it and she reminded me that I was the one who was raising my son and I had the ability to raise him to a good man and it’s the TRUTH he is now 16 years old and absolutely NOTHING like his father. The more I told myself that the closer I felt to my son.
I don’t want to says its right or wrong but if anything you should be closer to the baby and want to protect the baby as much as possible this is most likely going on in front of the baby and even though it’s a baby it can also feel how you are feeling and then not being loved by you is going to do damage please get help or leave the dad the baby doesn’t deserve it and you don’t deserve that either
Dont put yourself down. I felt the same way. But when your baby comes itll change everything. Trust me! I got the sweetest little boy. His father wasnt the best when it came to emotional abuse. Hang in there. I cant describe the feeling I felt when I had my son. (Hes one now)
Dear, your stressed and it shows!! Remember you are the babies mother the influence you have over your child is tremendous!! You are the one who will mold your baby!! Relax the baby is half of you!!!
Your baby is perfect in every way right now. He will have a higher chance turning out to whatever you subject him to. Get out of that toxic environment and go try to live your best life with your perfect little one.
I have never felt detached for the reasons you stated above. However, it may be normal, with that said I’m certain the OB doctors have heard plenty of reasons why a mother feels this detachment ~ and therefore they can treat the mother for PPD or whatever it is called when it begins DURING the pregnancy. As someone stated above, babies have a clean slate, this is true ~ I do believe that many traits are genetic so that is nature taking over HOWEVER NURTURE can over ride many genetic “obstacles” I have a 17 year old son, a 16 year old daughter and I am 37 now. On November 1st, 2018 I had my 3 rd child at 37 he just turned 1. He was completely unplanned. And there were a lot of moment where I was not sure of my level of attachment, in fact the first 12 hours (after the initial first 10 minutes after birth in which I was fixated on his beautiful face and felt overwhelming love for Liam) I worried I wasn’t attached properly… then something happened he starting crying and I held him, bounced gentler, sang to him laid on recliner with hims against my Chest and then BOOM I felt connected. It was wonderful but I also figured out why I felt detached through my pregnancy ~ I was 37 not expecting anymore kids, and only been divorced for 18 months when I met my sons father (my first two are from my marriage) and I was not expecting a relationship, my sons father is 28… he wants a football team size brood of kids and he still seems 300% devoted to me and the kiddos; but he was the o my one of the two of us who wanted and planned on more kids and I was just SCARED. You and I have one emotion in common, FEAR. Ask for help NOW get away from the DoucheCanoe your with and the attachment will come. If, it does not come or you believe it won’t come and therefore do not try, then perhaps you should seriously consider adoption…
Should be seen for possible PPD, the abuse and hurt from the father and fear of him maybe transferred to the baby, you stand up against him from being detached from the child. Your environment is not healthy, your mind isn’t healthy. All that baby knows is you. Needs you. That boy, you’re with doesn’t need you, he needs someone to abuse and who will take it. Be strong for the two of you and get out and take care of each other
Time to leave before that child is born. Then it’s up to you to raise him better
Sweetie, the fact that you are worried shows that you care. Remember the baby is part of you too
The way he is raised will have a lot to do with it
I know it’s not the same, but i had 2 miscarriages before i had my baby. And i didn’t feel attached to her before she was born, because i think i was afraid it would end badly. But it changed once she was actually here. I hope it gets better for you.
Best to get out and get the baby away from that, so the child don’t grow up thinking that’s normal… Or before he ends up making you loose the baby
Get an abortion! Or sign up for adoption. You gunna hate the kid. I seen this happen many times over!
1st thing’s 1st, if u r even still w this guy, LEAVE! 2nd, that unborn child doesnt just have his DNA. That LO is a part of you! And just cuz u r pregnant by an asshole, doesnt mean that precious baby is g2become one. Not to compare animals and babies too much, but u know how when ppl say if the dog is violent, it’s due to the owner raising it that way? Well, it’s all about how u raise your child. DNA, sperm, and eggs creates a baby n will bring the baby features of mom, dad, or both, but that doesnt mean his or her character and personality is made through it…how your raise that child is going to determine his or her character n personality. That child is innocent and will be what makes or breaks you. If you dont work w a counselor or psychiatrist to get you the help you need, then that child is g2miss out on his best of you from you. He doesn’t deserve that just cuz his father turned out that way. Abuse can be a cycle but cycles can be broken. It’s up to you to break that cycle.
I think you need to talk to someone. Please tell me you aren’t with him anymore! This is so sad for you. Please just remember it is not the babys fault and people are not born like this.
Someone very close to me raised a daughter that was conceived from rape, by a childhood friend and never looked at her and saw him…she saw her daughter,her child. That girl never asked to be created this way but her mom did everything she could to make sure that daughter never felt it from her and to this day if you ask her, that daughter will tell you that her mom never once in her life so far made her feel or think that about herself. She is strong and loving. She’s a mom now and a good one too.
If you can’t get past these feelings and don’t think you can be that mom, my suggestion would be adoption so that child doesn’t have to grow up feeling that from you.
I’ve never been in your situation so I can’t say for sure, but I think that once that baby gets here all your emotions will change. Please try to get out now. I know it’s not easy but you and that baby deserve so much better!
Your child learns the most the first 5 yrs he’s here, so escape that toxic relationship and make a better life for you and your little one!
It can go either way you either become overly attached or not attached at all. I got overly attached when I was with my son’s dad. He was very verbally abusive, I left him when my son was 4. Honestly it was the best thing that I’ve done for myself. After being gone for 4 years from his abuse I’m just starting to get back to myself. Please if you can leave it is going to make things in your life so much easier. Please don’t be like me and deal with the abuse for the sake of our son. My ex and I are finally in a place where we can co parent awesome and be friends for our son. That’s good enough for me and it just became this way. We spent the first 3 years fighting over everything. I stopped letting him have any control over me and I started to be my own person. I still have work on myself because I still have anxiety being in relationships and I refuse to be with anyone now. Don’t let him do this to you find a way out.
Leave then so you don’t think your child will be like him
I went through those feelings… I may be a little tougher on him because of it but I want him to learn how his behavior and attitude affects his relationships with others. I want to be a good mom and raise a decent person who takes accountability for his behaviors and learns virtues morality kindess patience self worth. You survived your past you can be a good mother.
It’s common not to feel “attached” before your baby is born, regardless of the situation. Your baby is a stranger to you and you haven’t had the opportunity to bond yet. Some women get excited about the IDEA of their baby but it’s different than when your baby is actually here. It is highly likely that once your baby arrives your brain/hormones will do their job and the attachment will happen for you and and your baby!
On a more important note, you need to find a safe plan for yourself immediately. It may mean you and the father live separately while he works on being a safer partner and eventual parent. And this gives you a chance to find a stable situation before your baby arrives.
God bless!
I felt that way when I was pregnant with my daughter… I felt so terrible for feeling that way, but I couldn’t help it. I wished I wasn’t pregnant. I would sit there and think “I don’t want you. I hate you.” and it was all because her dad was horrible to me. When she was born, I didn’t even want to hold her. But once we had the skin to skin, everything changed. I loved her so much and all of those other thoughts went away. I left her dad shortly after. I’m so much happier now and I have a beautiful daughter that I love very much.
You have to stop being self centered and turn your attention to your child and you. Get out of this terrible relationship. Or if you want to stay and be abused start the process to put your chid up for a adoption so it has a fighting chance to have a productive, happy and healthy life. It’s not all about you anymore.
I went through the same exact thing.
My oldest daughters dad was super abusive. When she was born, he beat the shit out of me. I left with her and I struggled trying to bond with her. I loved her, but he used her a tool against me and it made our relationship difficult.
When she was 6 months we bonded out of nowhere.
I went through the same thing, and even after she was born it took me a while to get attach to her, my baby was in the NICU and I felt like I had to go see her because I was her Mom and it was the right thing to do. I was so worried when I brought her home, but when Dad when crazy on me one time while I had her in my arms, the mama bear in me woke the fuck up and I freaken went crazy on him. He was just as surprised as I was. Shit got real for him real quick after that.
First of all you do not have to stay in a abusive relationship. The child will become a loving person if given the love and nurturing they need. Remember this child is part of you too. If a child grows up in a abusive home they become abusers also.
You need to get out and away from him. And maybe talk to someone that can help you about your baby and stuff that has been happening. Anyone can raise a kid and dont know how they will turn out. In your situation if you are with a guy that puts hands on you or treats you like shit and .dont get away from it then yes a child will think its ok. Get away and do your best.
don’t blame your child for the father. Once your baby is born that love is unconditional. You will never know what real love is until you have your baby. Leave ur abusive boyfriend !! Do what is best for ur baby. You can dislike ur babies father but don’t put that into ur child that did t ask to be born. Leave an raise ur baby the right way
You need to get some help or give that child to a loving home
Your baby has NOTHING to do with his attitude or whatever you want to call it it is an innocent unborn child right now so you just do your best at raising this child by yourself and I guarantee that child will go up awesome I have three beautiful children by a alcoholic husband that was emotionally and mentally abusive and my kids are just great so just show your baby all the love in the world my prayers are with you
Yes it’s normal you are actually experiencing pre partum depression which can turn into post partum you need to seek help and you need to leave that relationship. Once you leave you will see life entirely different. Your baby is half you as well as soon as you start loving yourself again your feelings will change and if they don’t you need to temporarily find somewhere else the baby can go babies pickup on vibes.
Give it time. That baby is as much part of you as him. Dwell on that if you think it would help.Best wishes:heart:
Your child will not turn out like their father if you raise them right… No one feels maternal when they are pregnant first time or third time, the excitement stems from having the baby, not the baby itself. When I was pregnant I felt awful and strange about not talking to her, singing to her and even forgot she was there occasionally until she kicked… but when she was here, I loved her instantly and the parent child bond is loe no other. Leave the man and be with your child, the feelings will pass… if they don’t, then you may need to consider adoption… if your not ready for this and don’t leave your partner, abortion would be the way to go if your are under five months
Your child will grow up they way you raise it
Get away from the father and focus on the fact that the baby is also half yours, and may grow up to be more like you than the father, especially if there is no contact or limited contact. My first pregnancy was the result of a violent encounter with a stranger and I felt absolutely no connection with her while I was pregnant, I was almost in a state of denial. I bought nothing for her until after she was born… fast forward 13 years and she is my world.
This sounds like because of abuse you were dealing with depression already which can become postpartum depression causing you to be detached from your baby!
This does not mean you’re a bad mum.
This doesn’t mean you don’t love your child.
This doesn’t mean you will never love your child.
This means you need to get out of there and GET HELP. Postpartum depression is VERY SERIOUS.
Post partum depression, postvtraumatic stress disorder and more. Get counseling support and home visitation to deal with this moment in time. With right supports you will see improvements. You have many years together to see. You chose the father not the baby so leave the lily one blames. Contend with those negative thoughts without destroying yourself with emotions.Your child 8s a blessing. Star changing how you view the baby. The baby is also part you.
relaxe and don’t worry about that. Your baby isn’t their father.
I see my older daughter was when I see my daughter, and have to remember that she isn’t him and help her with the possible anger issue that might have been carried on from her dad. it’s hard but I know she isn’t him. And love her even more when she does something good and not bad, right now she’s in the “trouble 4s” stage. her Bday Dec 22. so good luck and stay strong. The babies are not thier dads.
First, leave the dad. Everything else will fix itself once baby is in your arms.