I have a question about family ties and matters … I’m making a huge decision to move my family closer to my biological family ( bio mom) long story short she didn’t raise me my her dad and her step mom dad my grandparents who became my mama and daddy any ways she has two other kids my brother and sister which where all grown now but I asked my bio mom to watch my youngest while I worked to establish my life out where she lives in a totally area and life style ( I’ll be moving the country from the city where I’ve love all my life) and I basically got a non in other words but she watches my nieces (2 of them) and my bio grandmother who lives there watches my other niece they are 3,3 and 1 I understand that it’s a hassle bit why beg me to move down there for years now I’m actually doing it I don’t have a support system there or here since my grandparents died 2015 and 2018 and I’m just trying to keep the kids close to family but looks like I can’t get my life together because I don’t trust strangers watching my 6 month old while my other 3 are in school I’m upset about it because I’ve always felt like the kid she never wanted since I only seen her 5 times my whole child hood till I graduated high school I want to bring it up but then I don’t want to argue should I just move my family farther out and just make our life’s with out the last remaining family I have or should I tough it out and move closer to her with it 2 hours a way either way we’re moving out the city just don’t know how to feel or do about it.
I can’t make this decision for you but from personal experience the further away I moved from my toxic family the better I felt.
Move further away, you’ll feel better in the long run
Blood dont make you family…actions do. Those who want to be there will and those he dont want to be there…wont
It doesn’t sound like they were much of a family to begin with, so you’re not losing much. Besides you and your children are your family 
What does your husband think?
Stay away from toxic!! You’ve got this❤️
Y’all got any of that punctuation?
If she didn’t want to raise you, what makes you think she’d want to watch your child?
Move. Run and never look back. You don’t need her, your children don’t need her.
You are stronger than you think, you’ve got this.
Move away is what I would say no support from them then go ur separate way good luck u can do this!!!
So you are upset because your birth mother won’t babysit for you? Why would it matter? You can find an amazing person who will help you out regardless of family blood. My birth mother probably doesn’t even know my youngest daughters name…
Sit down with her and have a long talk about how your feeling and how your feeling about someone else watching your child, it’ll help get it out, and she can give you her side of the story and maybe put your mind at ease!
Do you know anybody where you’re? Friends any other family members or anything?
Go find your people they dibt ha e to be blood family.
Don’t put yourself in a situation that will make you question yourself. If you are asking us, I’m guessing it would be a mistake to move closer to the chaos.
I am completely estranged from family. My family was completely toxic and abusive. I get lonely sometimes, but I never second guess my decision to stay away from them.
Don’t move to a place that could isolate you and your children. Do some research on services available to you and your children. Find out which states and counties have a sound social service department and which areas area that lackfunding or has little resources. You will be glad you checked around before you move.
An example: my grandson suffered a severe head injury. They lived in Idaho and the resources were limited. They sold their house and moved to Washington that had better resources for my grandson. They work with his disability medically, financially and with housing. I hope you understand what I’m trying to convey. Services also vary from county to county. Do the research. You will be glad you did.
Best decision I made was keep the line open for if they want to be around, but dont expect them to… my mother said she would help me out while I was new to being a mom and starting a new career. And the handful of times I asked for help I didn’t get any. Make best with what you have, make friends with kids, if they have family on the father’s side willing to help let them and don’t stress yourself out looking for support where there is none. I swear I got more support from strangers than I did family.
She didn’t raise you, What makes you think she’ll help with yours!? No way would i make that move!!
Don’t do it. Do not leave the support system you have, to be all alone. Take it from someone who did exactly that two years ago, for almost the sameish scenario. I’ve now moved AGAIN, still with no support system around, but HOME is too far for me. DO NOT MOVE.
It seems to me like you don’t know her very well. Why would you allow her to watch your children? This post is very confusing.
She didn’t want to be around your whole life, don’t move closer to her just to make her happy. That’s ridiculous. Blood means nothing. Move to wherever YOU think is best, or don’t move at all if that’s what is best. Look around at daycares, check out reviews, visit them pick one that sends pictures to the parents throughout the day or even one that has a special login for parents so that they can “drop in” and see live video of their child’s daycare classroom.
I wouldn’t move there , it would be a huge mistake. Already not willing to help you out and you haven’t moved there yet? Nope.
Stay where you are and find a good child care center. The rest is confusing except your Mom didn’t raise you. And helping you? She doesn’t want to? I could not understand your whole post to totally understand.
Don’t move towards your family. They will drag you down it sounds like. Good luck!
Your gut is trying to tell you something, listen to it. As doctor Phil says “the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior” Settle where you feel comfortable and if that relationship is meant to be it will be no matter if you are two miles or two hours away.
Write down the pros and cons I wouldn’t be moving stay settled where you are you will manage get her to travel visit you to firm a bond
Go where you are comfortable being with your kids. My opinion is just to live your life. She hasn’t helped you so far, she is refusing to help you now. Find a community that will embrace you and your kids…your mother isn’t going to.
Just because theyre family, doesnt mean theyre good for you…
Don’t move for a bunch of azz jokes who didn’t take the time to nurture u. Fuqqqq’em. They keep showing u that ur not special and now ur babies are gna feel it too. Stay where ur at.
I think it’s a mistake to move to a place where you will have zero family support.
Why are you moving there? Don’t move or change your life…or your children’s lives to try to repair a relationship that may or may not be a mutual need or desire. These people sound like they are strangers you are trying to become part of their lives…
Maybe counseling to understand the motivation…
I know part of the reason is to feel loved by family… but… you can’t make them do what you desire.
You are Loved… take care…
This is posted everywhere
Be great if these questions had punctuation.
This was so hard to read.
I literally cannot read what you are saying. Please go through it and add punctuation marks and possibly rearrange your sentences. Are you 10?
Relatives aren’t family. A blood relation means nothing without an established and worked for bond. I grew up with plenty of relatives who I don’t consider family. Some of the closest people I can depend on aren’t relatives.
Don’t move she didn’t want you then she won’t want you now trust me she won’t watch the kids either your best to hire someone or put them in daycare
You do what is best for and your children pain leaves the body in time! Look toward the future and make the best of it that you can.
Uprooting you and your children to move closer to people who don’t want to help you is a tough one. I wouldn’t do it after reading what you wrote.
Don’t move there. You are going to be disappointed and hurt if you do. They will not support you. I’m sorry but she was no mother to you then if she only saw you five times while growing up. She will not change. Stay where you are.
You are stupid to uproot you life for someone who has shown no interest in you or your kids. Do not I repeat do not do it.
Don’t do it , it’s not gonna work and you plus your kids will pay the price , don’t put those babies through it .
I wouldn’t do it no way …I don’t want to sound harsh …she didn’t want you then why do you think she’ll want you now …or your kids ? She’s said she won’t look after them while you work …I’d stay where you are and look after you and your family and fuck her